Matt's Musings on Days
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These are not
spoilers, they are Matt's opinions. Furthermore, he is entitled to have an opinion
and if you disagree with him that is fine, just don't send hate mail about it.
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Matt and Lori will be sharing the thoughts each Friday, so one week you will see Matt's and the next, Lori's!
new! February 26, 2010
spent most of the week pouting and wishing that he was already off on Pirate
Island with his two children. But before he could run off and do his Peter Pan
routine, he was stuck finishing business in town. Elvis continued his revenge
plot in a bid to become the most sadistic man that Salem has ever known.
Apparently all that Jacobean drama he must have read at school gave him a lot of
ideas. Of course, in Shakespeare's day, people just did things because they were
evil, not because they had one of the most twisted and dubious love fixations in
dramatic history. As Anna paced the Sydnappery chalet and fretted about what
would happen, he licked his lips and stuck the knife into Sami a little more to
make her squeal. Thanks to EJ's repeated insistence that this mess is all fault
of 'Old Bean' Hernandez, Sami spat him out of the mansion to throw a pity party
with Elvis. Rafe carried his heavy head back to his mop closet at the Salem PD
and broke into tears. Sami caught him in the act and was super impressed.
Although Rafe, in his biggest emotional melt down, still managed to cry less
than Sami does over breakfast every day, she was as impressed by his ejaculation
of ocular fluid as she would have been if he was Salem's first pregnant man.
They immediately went back to her townhouse to bask in their snugglesafe and
pass out. Elvis then stalked in and saw them together, immediately throwing a
hissy fit and smashing a vase. He trudged off and Rafe wondered what had crawled
into him and died. He even voiced his concerns to Stefano about the
non-grieving, jealous schoolboy antics of Elvis. They both sensed that it was a
lot more than standard stiff upperlippery. Meanwhile, EJ was inspired by Anna to
change his tracks and find a new way to get rid of Rafe. Since Sami needs a
hero, he decided to prove a villain but playing one and swung in with a new
ransom note to tell her that Syd was still kicking.
stumbled back into the realm of consciousness. She was high as a kite but Carly
was lurking over her, ready to give her the all time downer and explain that she
was the woman who ejected her into the world and nearly ejected her from it. Mel
wept. Mel wailed. Mel cried. Mel didn't know what to do or who was who. Carly
tried explaining, which was having middling success. Mel felt like a curse, and
even worse, a cursed curse. You'd think she would have been a little relieved to
learn that Trent wasn't her real daddy (so she and Max aren't really related
after all), but she was too busy crying. Carly asked for more time before she
could explain the whole truth since the nearly twenty years that have gone by so
far wasn't enough. As Carly skulked off, Viv popped up to finish the job she'd
started before she was so rudely interrupted. More interruptions came. Mel cried
and, in her drug addled haze, wished that she was dead since she no longer knows
who she is. This broke Viv's heart and she couldn't go through with it in the
end. Lawrence rolled in his grave so much about this he popped out of it again
and ran around taunting his Auntie but she would have none of it and waved him
spent the week proving that he may be even dimmer than his son. After all, Shawn
at least had the wisdom to leave the fishy berg. Babs paced and barked at his
phone and had one person after another come in to tell him he seemed more
concerned with his dilly ho-ho than he was with any other bond he had in the
world. After Babs helped Carly break the bail conditions he'd bailed her out on,
Philip gave him hell for doing it and so did Hope. Showing his usual acumen for
compassion and thoughtfulness, Bo flatly told his wife that he was truly arse
over face in love with Dr. Manslaughter. Meanwhile, the goodly doctor broke the
news to Salem's most unexpecting dad. Chloe may not be able to make buns or
anything else in her over, but it turns out that Daniel and Carly made a yeasty
concoction of their own many moons ago. He was shocked and appalled but as every
doctor knows, that doesn't change biology.
now, onto the spoilers. If you do not wish to be spoiled, please avoid reading
the upcoming lines and enjoy your weekend. I'm having teeth ripped out of my
head and then being pumped full of pain killers so I don't know how much I'll be
enjoying it, but if, like me, you'd rather avoid thinking about that, you can
think about how miserable everyone in Salem is. Gabi adds her face to the pity
parade as she stops by to see Will and offer him her condolences. Melanie may
finally get some condolences from Nathan after he pulls his pants back on and
returns to town to discover that she's had a hole put through her. He might be
better used looking out for Maggie though. It appears that Salem's newest widow
will have something else to be sad about. Her neuromuscular condition,
myasthenia gravis, returns to wreak havoc on her life again. There will be
plenty of other havoc around town as the Mel's parents spar over their
situation. Carly begs Daniel not to shut her out but will he be in a forgiving
mood? While they argue, Bo tries to offer Mel an argument for why Carly should
be in her life, not that Mel's in a fit state to argue back. And Anna gets the
sinking feeling that Elvis' twisted behavior may finally be getting the best of
Lines of the Week:
Melanie: You shouldn't have married me! I don't know who I am!
EJ: I'm not... the vase... I didn't see it... You can send me a bill for the
EJ: Rafe happened... silly little bitch.
Philip: Okay, here's my statement: I wasn't there when it happened and neither
were you, and you aren't using me to get the woman you are sleeping with off
Melanie: (to Carly) I'm a curse on everyone's life. I thought it was enough I
had Trent's blood running through my veins, but I have yours too.
Victor: (spotting Bo) Gotta go. Here comes the gestapo.
February 19, 2009
It was a truncated week in Salem with a few major events. EJ stuck the knife
in Sami's heart so far that her crying started to resemble coughing up a
hairball. Meanwhile, Carly accidentally stuck a bullet into her own daughter and
Nathan stuck something else into Stephanie. But the fun got underway in Salem's
answer to an amusement park: An abandoned cannery. After being trapped under an
avalanche of boxes, Carly used her zombie strength to break free. Her strength
didn't extend to helping her rival, however, and she quickly abandoned Hope
under the surplus crates of fish heads and lug nuts. Carly lugged her cleavage
across town to the Kiriakis mansion where she knew her daughter was in lethal
The wedding was starting to feel a bit boring for the
people of Salem, so used to seeing people get shot before the ceremony can end.
Mia and her Farrah Fawcett hair were there. Just to prove that he's a geek and
not an airhead, Will had to take a deep breath before every utterance he made.
All the same, he was the only person wise enough to suggest running out as soon
as the ceremony was over. As they left, a tumult erupted on the roof. Viv took
Mel up to give her a glimpse of Heaven, which apparently resembles the Kiriakis
pool where Ari and Brady used to fool around, not to mention the shrubs now
overgrown since Owen was taken away, and the distant view of the harbor and its
undeniable waft of longshoremen. Unfortunately, Heaven in Salem does not involve
Philadelphia cream cheese, just some cheesy dialogue. Mel's vertigo started
acting up as Viv led her to the precipice of doom. Before the bride could fully
launch into her Liza routine though, Carly blundered in and whipped out the
revolver she'd swiped from Hope. Proving that she's as daft a hand with a gun as
with a surgeon's blade, though maybe not as good as she is with a letter opener,
she squeezed out a shot and dropped her daughter. As the noise rang across the
house, Philip used his extensive military training to recognize the sound of a
gunshot. Everyone ran up to the roof and Carly began blurting out the secret
she'd vowed to kill to keep.
Things were already going badly at the hospital. It turned
out that Chloe's baby wasn't a baby at all. Instead, it was just a thought
bubble that confused her imagination with her uterus and made her body think she
was pregnant. It's a good thing Chloe doesn't have too many thoughts or who
knows what would happen to her body. Daniel was abruptly called away from her
blank stare at the blank monitor and scrubbed in at the operating theater. He
and Lexi sliced and diced Melanie. It wasn't so long ago that this served as a
form of foreplay for the doctor, but then again, he used to surf too and now his
only dangerous activity is eating Chloe's baking. When Lexi informed him that
the girl he was opening up was Carly's daughter, a disturbed look crept into his
face. Outside of the buzzes being omitted during the fame of operation,
disturbed looks were the norm, though they were interrupted by the occasional
sneer or grunt. Most of this came courtesy of Kate, who was getting downright
catty with everyone. Philly slowly imploded as his two mommies battled for
territory. The fact that his new mother in law is also a psychotic freak
probably wasn't making him feel any better. Victor kept threatening Viv,
encouraging her to pray for Mel's safety. She was pretty confident that things
would turn out peachy creamy. The mayor exercised the abnormal task of arresting
her since Bo was too distracted looking after Carly. After some prodding, BABs
finally arrested Carly too, though he used every penny in his piggy bank to post
her bail and pop her out instantly. Just as instantly, she ran back to the
hospital to check on her freshly ventilated daughter. Although Daniel tried to
stop her, she pushed her way in, waking Mel up and nearly scaring her to death.
Across town, Justin took the time to fill Philly in on just what Vicious Viv has
been up to.
Meanwhile, Steph had quickly duffed her wedding duds and
abandoned the wedding before the fireworks happened. Whether she was really
eager to leap into the libidinal wasteland known as Alpine Valley, or she was
just doing all she could to avoid the wedding tradition of sleeping with the
best man, ie. Lucas, we'll never know. She and the intern holed up in a chalet
room and did some climbing of their own. As Steph and Nathan's pelvises grew
tired, he fantasized about being in bed with Mel. She seemed to sense something
was wrong so, just to be safe, she tore Mel's letter up.
Not everyone in town was sucked into the mess that seemed
to seep from the newly perforated Mrs. Kiriakis. Sami, Rafe, EJ and Anna were
already busy sucking in their own little world. Elvis tried to hide his
excitement at the prospect of gallivanting off to Pirate Island with his
children just long enough to fool Samantha. This proved an easy enough task,
although a smirk filled his face once and awhile, or maybe it was just an
involuntary response thanks to the wave of wrinkles that creased her pink face
as it bleated about Syd. He launched into Phase Two of his scheme to completely
devastate Sami. This involved planting some bloody baby clothes of Syd's in the
harbor so they would be easily found. Sami quickly reacted and, at EJ's not so
subtle prodding, blamed Rafe for her daughter's supposed demise. Rafe stood by
and did his best to be comforting, but he proved that he doesn't have the talent
to be an effective blankie. Lucas was called in to complete that task. And on
that note, we will now turn to the spoilers. For the sake of all that's good and
pure, if you don't want to be spoiled, please look away now and enjoy the
weekend. Next week, Daniel thinks that Chloe could use more than just a blankie
of her own, like maybe a padded room of her own. He does his best to put her
into therapy. She's hardly the only person in town who could use some. Some
might say that Victor should be in therapy too after he admits that he's
actually rather fond of having Vivian around. And if that isn't screwy enough,
Bo tells Hope that he really truly loved Carly deep at the base of his baboon's
heart. As she chokes on this jagged bit of brutal confessing, Mel faces yet
another threat to her life. Who is it this time? Is she threatening her own life
after Carly unloads and informs her that she is her spawn, or is Viv up to her
old antics? And the plot thickens as Rafe proves that he's not as thick as he
looks. His paranoia about EJ manages to infect Stefano who quickly starts to try
and think his way ahead of his son. That might not be too hard either, since EJ
gets his latest scheme from something Anna says.
Lines of the week:
Chloe: I'm definitely pregnant. I'm heading straight to the
mall after this. It's getting embarrassing the way my clothes don't fit!
Carly: I was trying to stop Vivian from
killing her. I wanted to save her.
Philip: If she dies, I will save you the same way.
Daniel: I can't deal in false hope.
Chloe: Whereas I can manufacture it.
Chloe: But he can't just come out and
say, "Hey, Chloe, you're nuts. You should see a shrink."
February 12, 2010
Anna continued going stir crazy while trapped in the chalet. When Elvis
threatened to chuck her out like a rancid éclair, she attempted threatening him
back, though that failed in mid-sentence. Instead, she used Syd to guilt the
DiMera into keeping her around so she wouldn't have to return to her career as a
lady of leisure. Elvis backed down and sat around stroking his silk shirts and
imagining how miserable Sami must be in a world without an old bean like Rafael
Hernandez making it turn for her. Little did he know that Sami was busy
polishing the bean. Sami burbled and Rafe promised to get Syd back over and over
again. Then she cried and she cooed and then she took off his pants so they
could get more comfortable on the couch and then they got even more comfortable
in the bed. After burning off the stress of having a missing child, she told him
how happy she was that she didn't have her children around to worry about. They
went down to the pub for a heart shaped bowl of oysters marinated in pink beer
when Elvis sauntered in. Once Samanther informed him that she and the bean were
back in the sack together, EJ was not best pleased and began to wonder how his
plan couldn't have been as perfect as he'd thought it was. Apparently he didn't
factor in the reality that other people need to attend to carnal carnival more
regularly than he does.
Meanwhile, Chloe finally
passed a test for what may have been the first time in her life. It turns out
that she got the miracle she was looking for and Dr. Dan knocked her up. That is
indeed a soap opera miracle since she hasn't slept with his brother or his
father, she isn't a virgin, wasn't raped and they actually have sex on a regular
basis. While this defies all the laws of logic at work on Daytime TV, it also
seems to defy everything Father Matt said. Chloe got so excited she managed to
find the kitchen just so that she could bake up some extraordinarily bad puns.
Daniel seemed more impressed that she actually managed to bake than he was with
the news that his barren bedmate is now an EZ Bake Oven on legs.
But not everyone was happy in
Salem. Most of the town's people were moping around about the upcoming wedding.
Some, like Ari, did the wise thing and just drank champagne wherever it was
available, but not everyone was successful at putting on their beer goggles. An
angry Nathan got pissed and hung out at the pub. He almost told Mel about his
feelings for her and how they distract his brain and other organs so much that
he nearly sliced out someone's spleen the other day. Instead, he mumbled and
Steph drove him to Maggie's to force feed finger sandwiches down his boozy
gullet. He sobered up. Mel spent a restless night thinking of Nathan and decided
she couldn't marry Philly K. while she felt so uncertain. She confessed this to
Vivian, the woman who terrifies her the most in the world, and Viv proceeded to
convince her to go along with the wedding. Mel didn't like being treated like
she was weak and spineless but she quickly did the weak and spineless thing and
did all that she was told. Viv licked her lips and fantasized about offing her.
She placed the poisoned pearl toothed comb in her mop of hair. The blushing
bride to be stole a moment to quickly scribble a love note to Nathan, asking if
they had a future, and then she had the wisdom to ask Steph to deliver it to
him. Steph quickly crumpled it and returned to tell her that Nate was a no-no.
Mel was soon woozier than a waltzing piss ant and flopped on her bed like a worn
out rag doll.
Across town, Kate tried
everything to get Victor's goat, or at least to get his back up about Vivian.
She even accused him of being 'whipped', but he's been playing this game even
longer than her and wasn't going to be easily dragged into it. She was forced to
turn to her husband to ask for a favor. He offered to have her problems with Viv
the Vicious eliminated and made a call before they marched off to the wedding.
Lucas was serving as the unlikely guard to make sure that nothing went wrong. I
guess they thought his talent for shooting people in the back at weddings could
come in handy. Aside from grimacing and gorping, he didn't have much to do
though. The Kiriakis mansion bustled with activity and chairs filled the rooms
to accommodate the onslaught of gawkers which the event would inevitably entail.
Most of the week revolved
around Vivian staring blankly and imagining Carly freaking out after she killed
Melanie. The reality was much more grim. Although Carly only narrowly managed to
excrete some tears from her eyes in fantasy land, in 'real life' it was even
more excruciating. Between being barely able to use her arms and barely able to
manage more than a grunt in the vocal department, Salem's resident zombie doctor
did her best to seem shocked and appalled, which often meant wailing like she
was calling out to the brains she'd left on the other side of the globe.
Apparently tired of flirting
with Justin, Hope decided she wanted to be normal again and the only way to do
that was to re-join the Salem PD. This was especially hard for her because, as
she admitted to Justin, it would mean that she could no longer torture people
when she wanted information from them. As she was busy probing the latest round
of murder and mayhem in Salem, Carly was being dragged to the nearby cannery,
you know, the one where Kay on "Passions" used to work and the fish were always
biting her nipples. Gus smuggled her out of the hospital looking rather adorable
in an orderly's outfit. He set her up with a monitor so she could watch Viv kill
Melanie. Carly screamed at the monitor and then her maternal strength kicked in
and she pummeled Gus before attacking him with her Vulcan death grip and
dropping him to the floor. She got Viv over there after sending her a fake
message. Viv showed up and they bantered about brutally killing each other until
Hope ran in to spoil the party. It turned out that Victor sabotaged Viv and
switched poisoned combs. This left Hope in the awkward position of arresting the
woman trying to kill her own worst enemy. Luckily, Gus suddenly returned to
consciousness and threw a crate at Hope and Carly. He and Viv ran while Carly
and Hope crawled.
Back at the Kiriakis compound,
Abe was forced to stand in to officiate and managed to keep a straight face
through a bit of the ceremony. Philip and Mel were married. Her collapse earlier
was apparently due to nerves rather than death. While she and Philip departed
for the honeymoon, her thoughts continued to linger on the intern she left
behind in the world of the unwed. Now comes the spoilers... run away now if you
don't want a glimpse into the hellish world which next week will bring.
Remember, Monday is the Olympics and that won't be Kenzie and T. on the curling
court. On Tuesday, however, things get back to normal, which is to say, to being
screwy. And that's exactly what Steph and Nate get up to. "I really want to find
true love. I think I can find that with you," she tells him as they play doctors
and nurses. While he's giving her a full exam, Daniel has to cradle Chloe when
it turns out that her miracle has a darkside which she wasn't expecting. This is
especially hard for him since he knows it will spell the end of breakfast in
bed. But the honeymoon is going far from well for the town's latest newlyweds.
Kate is already badgering her son about what a pill Vivian is and Viv is still
trying to get Mel to swallow some poison. Her plans go down the drain when she's
dragged to the cells with the zombie doctor following close behind her.
Meanwhile, EJ flips out when he learns that his game of torturing Sami has gone
all wrong and she's returned to playing the game of twenty toes with Rafe. As he
gags on his disgust, things get much worse. Rafe is forced to tell Sami that
they've just made a grim discovery that could change everything in Syd's case.
Lines of the week:
Kate: I just pray to God that
she's not all right.
Sami: I thought our
relationship was hopeless.
Kate: That was mean spirited
Lucas: Oh, you mean like feeding poison brownies to someone?
Chloe: I decided to pop some
buns in the oven.
Victor: Marriage is like a
leaky canoe... You can paddle like hell and still sink.
Carly: Think, Manning, think.
Think this through.
Carly: Killing Lawrence was
horrible but killing you could be fun. Bo is on his way and it's over. Melanie
will live happily ever after.
Vivian: No, she will die in about a half hour.
Carly: They say murder gets
easier the second time around.
Vivian: Spoken like a true doctor.
Stefano: I'm always nice to
him... it drives him crazy.
Hope: Hope the citizen could
have tied her up and done other things to her, but Hope the cop doesn't have
February 5, 2010
week, Stefano and Elvis finally managed to find the script they left lying
around a few months ago. They immediately picked up where they'd left off with
Elvis threatening to evict his father from Casa DiMera. Stefano laughed like a
drunken bunny and told his son to stop his unending tantrum. Because time flows
funny in Salem, they couldn't figure out if EJ's knickers have been in a twist
for days, weeks, months or hours, but they did note that Johnny's tantrums don't
last nearly as long. When Stefano wasn't arguing with his son, he was
complimenting Kate on the velour sack she picked up to wear to the wedding.
Kate had more on her mind than
her frequent wardrobe changes would suggest though. She was utterly distraught
that she was being pushed out of the wedding party so she made sure to stick her
nose back in. Philly agreed to let her share the spotlight with Vivian since
they're each thin enough that there's room for both of them. Kate didn't like
those beans and ran around town searching for a way to upset the applecart, just
to mix metaphors, which is what Vivian spent much of the week doing. The two
mommies were at each other's throats over the wedding. Kate plotted how she
would usurp her way back into prima mama position and Viv was distracted by
fantasies of finishing off Melanie before the wailing wall that is Carly. Viv
took a page out of Kate's book and decided to use some poison. She poisoned a
sort of tiara for Mel to wear, which was, if memory serves and depending on who
you ask, also how Medea killed Jason's wife. But Viv had to waylay her
enthusiasm for Greek tragedy and put the killing off until the wedding day. Not
to be outdone, Kate snatched the gift away and wondered why Viv was acting
weirder than usual about it. Melanie the moppet barely noticed any of this. She
suddenly got much closer to Carly for reasons which only the writers of the show
can know, though they haven't bothered to explain clearly to anyone else.
Anna seemed to be getting cabin fever, stuck in her little chalet with nothing
but soap operas to keep her company and the occasional delivery of
environmentally friendly groceries to break up her day. Her diet of rice cakes
and peanut butter was only accented by the pina coladas she mixed using a
discarded Baby Alive. Syd, while still managing to be a better conversationalist
than half of the other people in town, she also managed to show her DiMera
stripes. Not only did she boss Anna around, she also picked her nose and wiped
her snot all over her 'kidnapper' while she was attempting to have a serious
conversation. The fact that EJ only drops by to play with Sydney and insult her
keeper probably doesn't help, but it's a sign that this is where the baby gets
it from. Anna finally cracked after Roman called her. Ari tipped him off that
Anna was around. Anna wasn't clever enough to lie, she was a failure in the
advertising industry after all, and she soon wound up paying Sami a visit. Rafe
cornered her at Sami's and then Sami blubbered to her about how sad she was
about Syd. Anna started blurting things out and then ran home. Rafe, getting
uber suspicious, headed straight to Casa DiMera to confront Elvis, who managed
to stutter just as much as Anna. Since everyone knows that stuttering is
contagious and is usually passed along by baby snot, Rafe started to put some
things together and decided that Anna must be involved with the kidnapping.
Rather than chase this down, he chased Sami home and climbed back into her pants
while EJ planned to run away to Pirate Island with his children.
Across town, Hope finally
snapped after discovering that Carly's secret was that she spawned Mel. She
discovered this when she managed to crack the seal of Vivian's 'mystery box' to
find the secret inside. This disturbing psycho-sexual metaphor seemed to get
Justin excited so Hope had to keep him calm and left him to act as watchdog
while she ran off to do her business. Fancy Face arrived at BABs' budget
bordello to see how he and his fancy piece were working out. Hope started to
feel a little bad for Carly after discovering a few morsels of the truth, but
that proved to be shortlived. When she walked into Casa de Babs, she noticed
that someone had been redecorating Salem's greenest flophouse with Carly's
designer knock-offs. It turned out that the trauma has finally made little Ciara
crack and she has started to lead a dangerous life. Not only has she been
running with scissors, she's been slashing Carly's clothes because she hates her
stinking, rotten, smelly, fishy, gunky, punky, monkey brain eating guts (I'm
paraphrasing). While Ciara has already demonstrated that she has better judgment
than most of the people in her family, Hope jumped on Bo hard and threatened to
take their daughter away from the murderous atmosphere he has her living in.
continued to mine her 'dark side', or at least, the side with a few highlights,
as she set about destroying Chad's plan to take Gabi to the arctic climbs of
Vancouver so they could practice luging in his father's condo. She curbed
Kenzie's dreams of being able to witness the wonders of curling in person by
telling Chad's DA daddy that she and Chad were still on more than friendly
terms. That ended up putting an end to things and the teens were condemned to
stay in Salem. Will continued to be confused by the situation, as he should be.
What was surprising was that no one else was surprised to see that Will Horton
has been replaced by an eerie clone of GH's Michael Corinthos. Meanwhile, Chloe
mooned around town looking miserable and pretending that she was happy. Of
course, there's a reason she rarely gets to actually work on stage so no one
believed her charade, except for Daniel since he's rarely looking in her eyes
when he speaks to her. She and Dr. Manslaughter talked about how barren she was
and then she turned to Father Matt to discuss theology. Her grasp on the nature
of miracles proved troubling and the priest had to break the news that you can't
always get what you want.
Anyway, now on to the
spoilers. If you do not wish to have your week spoiled, please avert your eyes
now and enjoy a weekend of Olympic preparations. Since they don't consider
building snow men a sport, I'll be imbibing hot totties from around the world
instead. With the wedding looming large in Salem, most of the action focuses on
fuzzy headed Melanie and her peg legged prince. Mel's mixed feelings aren't
going unnoticed, even by the people in her wedding party. Steph does her best to
keep Mel's doubts stuffed down where no one can see them by keeping the letter
which Miss Mel wrote away from the prying eyes of Nathan. While Steph encourages
her to run off on her possibly unending vacation, Vivian attempts to talk some
sense into her, but who knows exactly what that could mean? Her motherly routine
ends up taking too much time away from her usual plotting and Victor manages to
swan in and foil her pernicious plot before it can come to pass. While Vivian is
thinking up what to do next, Hope has finally figured out who Carly's daughter
dearest really is. As for those who have not been trapped into the wedding and
its associated collateral damage, Brady inches a little closer to Ari when he
re-gifts something to her which once belonged to sweet Isabella. Meanwhile, EJ
is getting ready to throw another tantrum when he discovers that Sami and Rafe
have returned to playing throw another log on the fire.
Lines of the week:
Hope: Have you been watching Dr. Phil?
Carly: Parents split up all the time. Children adjust.
Hope: That's an idiotic cliché.
EJ: You and
I are going on a little trip... to Pirate Island!
I'm more of a 'you snooze you lose' kind of girl.
will not steal my thunder, Vivian. You will not steal my son.
EJ: Whoa? Whoa? What does 'whoa' mean?
This harpy stole that present like a jackal in the night.
She's lying through her fangs again.
January 29, 2010
It was a strangely uneventful week in Salem where everything was on the
verge of happening and then didn't happen. The grumpy week covered barely a day
of story time, although, given the hyper paranoiac activity of so many
characters, it felt like it was a great deal longer. This odd suspension of
action left many to binge on a bit of recycling.
continued to mourn. She made herself pass the time with various busybody acts.
That's what she used to do anyway, but things were a little more sombre this
time around. No one was wearing black though, they all seemed to be wearing
brown in her presence. The boxes of Mickey's office stuff arrived and she sorted
through them, sending much of it off to the charities for Salemites deafened by
Sami or mangled by a DiMera. She also found a Valentine's card from him and a
bottle of scotch. When she wasn't fighting back the tears, she was fighting the
temptation to take a swig.
Hope continued to think about
her watery past with Bo and recycle the memories. Even the flashbacks seemed
used. She bought Ciara a little boat so she could tell her all about her time at
sea, but Beauregard accidentally slammed into her and smashed the vessel. Hope
looked at him like he'd just spit on her last cupcake. In her eyes, he's not
just the man who left their home in ruins, he ruined her boat as well. What a
burn. The fact that Carly came back to town on a boat probably made it even
worse. Lo and behold, she bumped into Carly soon after and they continued giving
each other pieces of their minds. None of it was anything anyone hasn't heard
before and they rifled through the dialogue like they were counting sheep. It
turns out that this ongoing rehashing is just another of Bo's recycling
projects. If only Max and Nick were still around, perhaps they could harness the
energy of Hope's righteous wailing and Carly's clumsy cowing into a new form of
fuel... Marginally more thrilling was Carly and Justin's brief sashay through
the game of trying to demonstrate who the biggest hypocrite is.
Carly wasn't stuttering through the staggered insults which seem to dog her
conversations with her enemies, she was attempting to play Mother Theresa to
Mel. Miss Melanie was in a pretty bad mood all week, thanks largely to wedding
jitters and Carly. Once again, Dr. Manic Manning spilled coffee on the moppet,
this time spoiling the designer dress which Viv had helped her pick out. Miss
Mel was not amused, but as the day went on, and with the fact that her emotions
flip as often as she flops her hair around, she began to soften. Mel
demonstrated her usual mind-bending skills of judgment by inviting the
'murderous adulterous' who has been stalking her and throwing public fits for
weeks, over to her place so they can have some alone time. Carly tried warming
up to her and nearly said something worth saying, like why she is so obsessed
with her. Unfortunately, Mel was incapable of keeping her gob shut and seemed to
start competing with Sami in the game of jumping to conclusions and blurting
them out so no one else can actually finish their sentences. We call it 'slur or
shut up' around the office and it's become our favorite drinking game since we
had to stop playing the one where we took a shot every time Sami started
balling. It was just too hard to get through the day after that.
Gus finally broke the news to
Vivian that Melanie is actually Carly's daughter. Viv was almost heartbroken.
She'd actually become fond of her, after a fashion. Victor forbade her to kill
Philip's fiancée. After all, it would make the cruise they were planning to take
together extra awkward. Vivian couldn't shake the drive to kill her though,
helped in no small part by a dose of psychotic hallucinations. Lawrence's
spirit, or the actor who plays it, showed up to taunt her into going ahead and
gutting Mel. He knows he'll be stuck in purgatory with Carly eventually and he
doesn't want to rush the reunion.
the Salem PD, Troy finally demonstrated that he has some intelligence and
figured out that Ari was a narc. Roman, demonstrating little intelligence,
actually took her aside to chat about it right in front of Troy and EJ. I guess
he thought that whispering would be enough to shield them from sight. Troy
yelled about her betrayal to EJ. Brady wondered why. EJ played dumb, which is
usually the most convincing strategy to get anything done around town. Ari later
showed up at Casa DiMera to badger EJ with thanks and to blab all about her
undercover operation. Whether he was trying to play it cool or simply impress
her with his virility, he immediately whipped out some baby books to show off
his skill at producing children. Unfortunately for him, he left her alone with
his phone and Anna called, blubbering without knowing who she was talking to.
Ari began questioning him about this. EJ stared blankly and made vague remarks.
Since Ari grew up on the bad side of Salem, she mistook this for dry British
Even less amused by his son's
antics this week was Stefano. He discovered a vial of infant narcotics in EJ's
coat and called his son out for it. Elvis gave him some excuses and took a few
digs at him. Stefano went off and groaned to Kate who told him that he should
have a lot less faith in his son, but it's not like Stefano was going to take
parenting advice from her. EJ was too distracted to care about any of this. He
did his best at offering fake comfort to Sami to get Rafe's goat and then left
him to stew with the cow (he's already had her milk for free). Sami and Rafe
went home and decided to split up because she couldn't stop blaming him for
everything. Even with a daily dose of clam chowder coating his stomach, Rafe's
intestinal fortitude gave way once again. Perhaps it isn't so much his guts that
were in agony as his head, especially his ears. He packed up his hobo knapsack
and the moping music from Charlie Brown started to play. For his part, Elvis
snickered to himself about everything this week like a perverse schoolboy who
peed in some soup and then fed it to his frenemies.
now onto the spoilers. If you don't want to know, run away now so that you won't
have to contemplate the terrifying spectacle of Salem's two ditziest blondes,
Anna and Sami, putting their heads together. Since Anna's head is full of
chocolate and Sami's is full of um.... Sami ends up opening her heart to Tony's
widow and gabs all about her emotional turmoil over Sydney. Will Anna be able to
play it cool? Nathan and Melanie are still trying to play it cool and act like
they don't want to play cootie inspector. Even Carly catches on to the sexual
tension so badly hidden by hospital scrubs. She's not the only one noticing
something is off about Mel either. Daniel continues to smell around and realizes
that there is more between Carly and Mel than his dear old friend has been
willing to say. If he can't figure it out fast, Kate might beat him to it. She
straight out confronts Carly about her weird fixation on a woman old enough to
be her daughter. Kate won't waste too much time on that though since she still
has to wrestle with Viv over control of the wedding.
Lines of the week:
Victor: What? Do you think I'm walking around with a tinfoil hat on my head?
Right... we are in love... in Vivian land, that is, way, way over the rainbow.
Victor: Something momentous
must have happened. You're not talking.
Anna: Go ahead and bring the
chocolates whenever it's safe.
Philip: Vivian has tried to
kill people. I didn't know how you felt about that in women.
Victor: Well, it shows they
Carly: Can you keep a secret?
Melanie: What is this junior high?
Victor: You told me she
reminded me of yourself — That's the ultimate compliment.
Mel: I really don't like
Vivian. She's... uh... sincerity challenged.
January 22, 2010
Sami and Elvis got down to the pier to 'end' the kidnapping, Rafe managed to
swan in and interrupt. The G-Man didn't trust Sami so he'd been having her
followed. He quickly got his people involved and they set up surveillance. Sami
flipped out. Bickering and shrieking erupted. Rafe finally had to ask Elvis to
cart her away because the high pitches coming out of her mouth were disturbing
the whales in the harbor, causing them to attack the local fishermen. The
dysfunctional threesome went down to the station to wait for news. EJ and Sami
took turns being outraged. He seemed to relish goading her into becoming more
distraught as Raphael 'Old Bean' Hernandez doddered around looking for answers.
They managed to pick up a woman who grabbed the kidnapping cash off the pier.
She turned out to be Marion O'Brion, just another of the random Irish
stereotypes who hang out down there. Sami plotzed. EJ tried to start a
kerfuffle. Rafe calmed them and asked if the voice the kidnapper let her hear on
the phone was really Sydney's. Sami is so finely in tune with all forms of
crying and babbling that she could pick it out perfectly, even through the voice
scrambler. He took Sami home and she erupted again. If Sami's emotions were
lava, there would no longer be room on the earth for water.
Meanwhile, Auntie Anna started to worry that EJ doesn't
really know what he's doing, even if he does have the planning skills to make
sure that he and Syd wore matching pink all week. When Anna told the little girl
that she will have to go home soon, Syd freaked. Elvis puttered over to announce
that it would all be over soon. Syd doesn't speak the same language and even she
was tired of hearing this. Anna worried that the little girl could have a fever
but Elvis insisted that only his taste in colour palettes was contagious.
informed Arianna that her undercover operation has been completely underwhelming
to their superiors. At this point, it's getting almost as pointless as her under
the covers operation with Brady. She tried to talk her bosses around, but
apparently she's not as good of a saleswoman as we've been led to believe.
Meanwhile, since Troy couldn't find a competent hitman in the alleys of Salem,
or at the American Apparel where he hangs out cruising for skanky hipsters, he
decided that he would off Ari all by his lonesome. Unfortunately, he's not very
good at it either. When he attempted to strangle her with his vintage coke
dealer's white scarf (he has the matching mittens sewn to his coat), her yelps
of death were interrupted when Elvis burst into her room. He chucked Troy out.
The dealer was abruptly arrested by the Salem PD in what may have been the most
successful day in their history. Roman showed up and began chatting to Ari. With
Troy out of the way, who will act as middle man between her and Mr. Big? We
might not have to find out since Troy managed to use his brain power to figure
out that Ari is a narc and told EJ all about it. Yes Elvis, that means another
woman who you want to be pantsless with has deceived you. Luckily, you already
wanted to ruin her brother's life, so maybe you can kill two birds with one
stone? During this mess, Brady was busy insisting to Chloe that he is finished
with Nicole. Any messages he has for her, he will send through the unemployed
diva, who has now added being a human telephone to her short list of talents.
were running even less smoothly for the other quadrant of one time friends, one
time lovers in town. Beauregard Aurelies Brady, or Babs 'The Bear', as he's
better known in Salem's metrosexual community, managed to make things even worse
for just about everyone. Seeking to throw Vivian 'The Viper' off of the trail of
Carly's daughter, he boasted loudly to Philip that Carly came back to town just
for him. Vivian swallowed this and went into a tizzy. She wondered if she should
really be gunning for Carly's daughter after all. This sense of doubt was
doubled when she got the icky feeling that mouthy Melanie may actually be Doctor
Manning's former belly bun rather than Mia 'The Moper'. She spent much of the
week trying to charm the broad smiling young woman with fancy wedding plans.
Although reluctant at first, Mel fell into the sway of things, a change which
caused Carly to explode. Sensing impending disaster and knowing that he can't be
everywhere at once, Bo asked Daniel to keep an eye on his old friend and former
colleague. Daniel wasn't particularly good at this and only narrowly managed to
stop Carly from taking her scalpel to her old enemy.
her part, Carly jumped between her three emotions all week. When she wasn't
stifling a sneer and looking at Mel like she'd never even heard of deodorant,
she was leaping into a blind rage or staring blankly. The blank stares were
courtesy of an overdose of flashbacks she endured. They all featured the dearly
departed Lawrence taunting her as she went into labor and then stealing her baby
away. Some of this emotive dexterity seems to have shown up in her spawn,
Melanie. She showed off her ability to make cock-eyed faces, some of which she
seems to have lifted from Philip. When she wasn't lashing out at Carly, she was
acting as referee when other people, notably Vivian, were laying into her.
Although Mel puckered her lips to exhale some memorable lines this week, she was
condemned to spend most of her time asking the mother she doesn't know she has
what her problem is. Ah, the philosophical implications... if only Mel knew that
she is the answer to that question.
were some other honorable mentions for the week. Kate returned from obscurity to
drop by Maggie's looking for Mel. Maggie didn't appreciate it and gave her a
tongue lashing. While Kate was off nursing her wounds, Mia pouted around as Chad
'The Woodman' talked Gabi into running away to the treacherous climbs of Canada
with him, T. and Kenzie 'The Human Failure'. But the most devastating event of
the week was Hope becoming sure that her marriage to Bo is over. If she can
figure that out, who knows what's next. And now... onto the spoilers. If you do
not wish to look ahead to the week that will be, avert your gaze now. It finally
sinks in for Hope (it takes a really long time for anything to sink in, which
means she either has super absorbent skin or she is a nearly bottomless pit)
that things are over with Babs. Justin sits on the sidelines hoping someone will
notice that he is still around and put him on the playing field before he gets
old and gray. But at least he'll have something to distract him as his family
prepares for Philly's upcoming nuptials. Things are already getting
uncomfortable since Victor and Vivian have decided to accompany the newlyweds as
they sail the globe for places undetermined. Even Carly's screaming about it.
But something else could get in the way. Apparently Mel still hasn't gotten
Nathan out of her system, as much as she insists that she has. She should
probably be more worried about the fact that Vivian finally clues in that she is
actually Carly's daughter. But if the fracas in the Kiriakis clan wasn't enough,
Stefano wakes from his slumber to erupt at the prospect of Sami and EJ getting
close again. Although this may all be part of EJ's plan to torture Samanther as
much as possible, Rafe won't be seeing it that way when he sees them together.
He decides to pack up his edition of the Sweet Valley High Board game and head
out. The FBI man may not want to leave town now that his sister is on the verge
of returning to the slammer though. Will he be able to help his sister before
she winds up sharing a cell with Nicole and they have to fight over which one of
them gets to play Brady?
Lines of the week:
Mel: So, I guess you're going all cougar on us... Is that why you didn't
want me to marry Philip? Why can't you just let me live my life?
Carly: I'd be happy to. Any chance you could live it on another planet?
Mel: Please don't get too excited. You'll hyperventilate.
Vivian: Wrong? We do not use that word in connection with
Kate: I've been snubbed by Smurfette.
Mel: I think you're being a bit dramatic.
Anna: Sydney at some point will need a normal life.
EJ: With Samantha?
Anna: No... with you and... if you should meet a woman... I can't be a nanny
Roman: I'm guessing that's not powdered sugar.
Carly: Let me remind you, I faced the
devil and the devil lost.
January 15, 2010
engulfed Salem yet again. But then, it's not as though it's ever exactly abated.
Instead, it's finding itself crawling into more and more spaces. Entire sets
have been added to accommodate the misery. Carly got a new room at the Salem
Inn, a shabby shack made of beer bottles where she has to put x-ray charts in
the windows to keep out the light. Maggie's had rooms added to her house too,
apparently purely for the purpose of grieving. Maybe soon we will see all of the
renovations which Stefano had done to the mansion, or the new basement which
John had put in before he left. It seems like that would be a perfect place to
go and cry with the rats after they leave the alley by the pub.
We saw the many faces of grief run by in a flash. Maggie
slowly cried and told person after person about finding Mickey. Hope cried
listening. Bo shrugged uncomfortably when he heard about it. Mia and Mel, the
blonde haired moppets, quickly cried. Nathan got sentimental and tried to
compensate by sucking face with Mel. Melissa showed up and punched at the air.
Will managed to leap through the entire cycle of denial and acceptance in less
than a minute, which demonstrates that he's not only been able to age fast, he's
also emotionally matured faster than everyone else in the cast. Mia pouted as
she told him. He trudged around town with a condolence casserole from Caroline.
funeral went on unseen and we were not treated to an Irish wake. Instead, there
was a little memorial in Maggie's front room. She remembered when she and Mickey
were just outcasts from "Little House on the Prairie". Mel wished that she was a
thousandth of the woman that Maggie was. Luckily for her, Philip is already only
half a man. Her hair got bigger to illustrate that her head was full of woe,
while Maggie's hair deflated to make explicit just how down in the dumps she
was. Apparently she'd had Mickey's soul stored up there and the sheer power of
hairspray couldn't keep it up. Mickey was remembered in all of his mustachioed
glory, but he would have probably been turning in his grave if he'd seen the
huge blown up photo of him in an atrocious Christmas sweater. Brady didn't
appreciate Mickey's former legal partner, EJ, showing up. After all, when you
are trying to take a death seriously, Elvis is the last person you want to see.
It wasn't all grief, of course, there was also the chance
for the marginally less depressing spectacle of Philip and Melanie's hobble down
the altar of love. Funerals are so much like weddings, only a little in reverse.
As Shakespeare once wrote, "Live, and love thy misery." They were ready to run
off and be married by an Elvis impersonator when the news hit. Mel made her
usual faux pas or two before trying to overcompensate by getting defensive.
Luckily for her, Carly showed up so she got to rail at her. Philip was more
subdued. He spent much of the week looking befuddled. Philly has been desperate
for a little continuity since mommy number two showed up.
brother was finding a different kind of continuity as he returned to the carnal
pleasures he'd once known in his youth. Carly sucked on Bo's ear (the entire
thing) until he couldn't resist any longer and they did the deed. After he'd
been thoroughly examined by the eyes-ears-nose-and-throat doctor, Hope called
and interrupted their erotic interlude to tell him that the angel of death had
kicked Mickey's bucket. Meanwhile, Victor seemed to be getting bored with
Vivian's antics. Maybe that was just because he couldn't hide it behind his
sunglasses anymore. That all changed when he discovered that Carly and Bo have
been playing cars and garages. He should have seen it coming of course. After
all, few women can sleep with only one Kiriakis man, they usually have to have
half the family, often several times. Except for Justin, of course, which may be
why he is really miffed that Bo has left him alone in the Sexually Unlucky Club
Kiriakis. Carly showed surprisingly bad tact for someone who got away with
murder. She showed up at Maggie's only to have Hope tear her head off. Carly was
defiant and paid her condolences while taking the piss out of Hope's marriage.
This only made Mel hate her more. The doctor was even more numb-skulled when she
tried to warm up to Mel and Mia at the hospital, which resulted in an even
higher level of hate. While she moaned to Bo about how her daughter, Mel the
motherless, hated her guts, Vivian got it into her head that Mia the moper was
actually Carly's spawn.
of the multiplying miseries in town, trapped in her chalet with dreams of
wearing a whole zoo's worth of animal print shoes on her petit terrace
overlooking the rhino swamp at her McMansion in Bora Bora, Anna began having a
twinge, not of conscience, but that Sami might not be as stupid as history has
shown. EJ assured her that such a thing was scientifically impossible and then
told his auntie to shut up, burped Syd and went out for the day. When he wasn't
having his drug money washed, he popped by Sami's and offered to put Johnny in
the washing machine. Sami spent most of the week sitting by her phone, filling
up EJ's voicemail and spitting nonsensical rants at Rafe. Elvis spent most of
his week deliberately ignoring her and enjoying the thought of her suffering. If
you can have sex by telephone, you can torture with it too. Maybe that could be
EJ's new business enterprise since he just sold off millions of dollars worth of
DiMera assets. His father noticed, but Elvis remained unrattled and then put the
next part of his plan in motion. No matter how hard he's tried to keep Rafe out
of it, the FBI man just kept stumbling back in, until he stumbled right into the
money drop by week's end. Rafe didn't manage to save his sister from Salem's
latest inept thug though. That was left to Brady.
Anyway, now on to the spoilers. If you do not wish to be
spoiled, run away now and enjoy a weekend of sipping limoncello and cruising
Craigslist for box springs you can set on fire to burn old barber's mustaches on
in memory of Mickey. Next week, Kate gets back into action as she begins
attempting to bond with Melanie, the woman who disowned her even before they've
become related. Is Kate just trying to weasel her way into Philip's good book,
or does she have something else in mind? While she is trying to be the mother
that Mel never had, Carly is still being angsty about being the mother she never
had a chance to be. Learning about what her daughter is like might only make
that worse. Meanwhile, as Vivian watches over the women and prepares to pounce,
Bo gets distracted so he leaves Salem's semi-retired lothario, Daniel, to keep
his eyes on her. That doesn't stop Carly from exploding at Viv when she pushes
her buttons again (are we sure that Carly isn't actually Sami's real mom?). All
the while, moppet Mia puts herself in more of a conundrum after she admits to
herself that she wants Will and Chad. If only Rolf were still around he could
find away to combine the two boys into one... And the misery persists and Hope
tries to help Maggie through her grief in spite of being emotionally fragile
Lines of the week:
Melanie: Nice welcome. Who just died?
Bo: (to Bo when he's in bed with Carly)
Hi... uh... It's kind of a bad time.
Rafe: I knew that was dumb when it was
coming out of my mouth
Hope: I need to start learning how to do
Chloe: (of her choclate mousse cake) How
can you leave this? That's not human.
Hope: You're hilarious. You sleep with
my husband and it's my fault.
EJ: All right. Let's pack it in. Let's
just give up. They'll figure it out Anyway. Sami and Rafe... they're probably
the second coming of Woodward and Bernstein. You don't have a right to insult my
intelligence. I have orchestrated this entire plan and my next move will be just
Victor: And how will you plant it on
her? Will you just ask, 'Do you mind if I attach this to your bosom?'
Chad: I like girls like you that are fun
Gabi: You hardly know me.
Chad: Some things don't take time to learn.
Kenzie: What are you... the sensitivity
Kenzie: Mia... teabags for swollen eyes.
January 8, 2010
Happy New Year's ladies and gentlemen. I'm back from my brief exile to our
sister site, Soaps.com. It's a new year in Salem, and just to make sure that
everyone knows that, they've actually brought one of their longest running plots
to a conclusion... kind of.
went to court, more or less concluding her starring role in the terrible tale of
the tot and the men and women who love her. Everyone showed up to say their
piece about what a wicked witch the blonde gone black was (it's Salem after
all). Even Mia and Chad made an appearance. Brady was the only one who spoke up
for her, even though it made everyone else gag. Nicole finally stood up and
asked to be punished without mercy. That's how you talk if you want to get into
a judge's good graces and that's exactly what she did, receiving a sentence of
twenty years. EJ bellowed. The judge thought that his objections were rich
coming from the head of the town's major crime family. Sami cried, which didn't
impress the judge either. Not because crying is like breathing for her, but
because she has a pretty lengthy criminal record and a habit of proving how
incompetent she is at handling her perpetually swelling family. Nicole's tears,
which have soiled her face to the point that she's started to resemble Charlize
Theron in "Monster", and her heartfelt profession of guilt, did turn the judge's
heart... and EJ's stomach. Once she was led off to wait for the last bus to
prison, Chloe stopped by to say goodbye and then, of course, Brady. With tears
in her big eyes, Nicole begged him to forget her and never speak to her again,
even though she loves him and wishes she had realized that a long time ago. She
was sadly carted off to the pen, but, then again, being sentenced to twenty
years without Sami almost sounds like a gift.
scandalous Sydnapping of Salem is still going on, with or without Nicole. Like
most criminal capers in town, it's quickly going from being scandalous for its
moral crapulence to being appalling for its sheer stupidity. It looks like
Elvis' taste in accomplices is almost as bad as Anna's taste in shoes. Maybe
that's why he enlisted her to abduct his daughter, which was kind of funny
considering how annoyed he was that Nicole basically abducted his daughter from
Sami. They've been in cahoots the whole time. She's just in it for the money.
She needs to finish decorating the hideous mansion she and Tony built in Bora
Bora. His motivations are a little tricker, but it's mostly about getting his
daughter back on his own terms, and getting revenge on all of the women he loves
Brady feared that Ari, Little Miss Second Best, was under threat, not just from
Salem's drug Cartel, but from the local clam chowder merchants and their
mercenary cronies who suspect that the secret ingredient she's been putting in
may be a little too addictive. He was right to be afraid because there was a
rather sinister chap who kept loitering around the pub. He was sent there by
none other than Troy, who has managed to outdo EJ by not only being one of his
incompetent goons, but by actually hiring and even more incompetent goon to do
his dirty work for him. Suffice it to say, thanks to the endless interruptions
which make up much of the plot development, the goon never managed to get a good
opportunity to take her out. She may be creating an opening though. After seeing
how much Brady still longs to spend his days in Misty Circle, she managed to
make him vaguely aware that their relationship has gone sour.
romance isn't entirely doomed for everyone in town. Nathan and Philip welcomed
the New Year in their jail cell until they were released, little the wiser.
Philip tipped Steph off that Nate is still pining for Mel and was even willing
to fight for her. Steph went sour. Nate later tracked her down and tried to
convince her that he was only chasing a fantasy version of Mel, but what he
really wants now 'something real'. But before he could find out how 'real' Steph
is, she took a little distance from him. While young Nathan seems to be
abandoning his fantasy Mel, the real Mel couldn't shake a fantasy of Nate. Even
while wrapped in the arms and leg of Philly, she kept thinking about the
intern's bedside manner.
As for Salem's even younger set, after months of misery and
being bullied around by nutty Nicole, Mia finally cracked and seemed to hatch a
bit of a different persona. Perhaps taking some inspiration from her enemy,
Kenzie, Mia tried her hand at being a master manipulator. Although she managed
to imbue Chad with the 'ick' factor in Gabi's eyes, she couldn't turn the peppy
teen entirely over to her side. After Mia gushed about how Chad was her soul
mate, she turned around and sucked face with Will. Gabi caught them at it and
guessed that Mia was just pushing her around. Will figured things out too, you
can't grow up with Sami as a mother and not spot a lie after all. He finished
things with her... again.
it turned out that Hope knows how to give Bo a taste of his own medicine. Since
she walked in on his game of tongue twister with Carly, she must have been
plotting out a way to use her tongue for something other than laying the blame
for everything on her husband. She came up with a guilt free way to make out
with Justin and not have to admit that it's what she wanted. When they were
searching Vivian's room for Carly's secret, Viv and Vic returned. The searchers
tried to cover by pretending they were only overcome by the desire to search
each other's secret places and ducked into Viv's quarters when they heard a
noise. Viv gagged and Victor ordered Justin to goosestep out of his mansion. As
soon as Justin began hauling out his boxes, Beauregard Aurelius Brady, or "Babs",
as he's sometimes known, showed up, fresh from hearing about the tonsil teasing
from a gloating Vivian. After he rehashed his argument with Hope about how they
would 'do anything for each other but they can't do that', he repeated his less
familiar argument with Justin, about how his cousin now has Hope while Babs has
nothing... and then Babs remembered Carly, who just happened to be having a
panic attack after being stuck in an elevator with Salem's giggle factory,
Vivian. Viv left her behind as the elevator started to malfunction. Babs ran to
her rescue. And since this is Salem, we all know what happens after there are
elevator problems. Who knew a dysfunctional shaft could be such an aphrodisiac?
and Mickey died, less than two weeks shy of his birthday. Sorry if that sounds
like an afterthought, but it was written that way in the script. The long absent
character, whose chief characteristic became the fact that he was always
off-screen, collapsed. Maggie attempted to revive him but had no luck. RIP
Mickey Horton: January 19, 1932 – January 7, 2010.
And now... the spoilers. If you don't want to know, please
avert your eyes now and have a nice weekend of frolicking and skating, eating
your final candy canes and knocking over lawn ornaments with snow balls. Bo
might want to build a little fort to protect himself after Victor hears that he
and Carly took an 'elevator ride'. While Victor berates him, calling upon every
language he knows for the full range of insults, the rest of his family seems to
be headed for equally dubious choices. Philip, sensing danger, decides that he
and Mel can't wait around any more and need to get married right away. The fact
that Mel and Nathan can't stop telling each other how much they don't want each
other might have tipped him off that something is seriously wrong. Meanwhile,
Hope already seems to have realized that something is horribly wrong and is busy
laying into Carly. While Bo gets between them, insisting that he's laid into
Carly enough, Vivian licks her lips as she suspects she's already stumbled upon
Carly's daughter. Of course, she's not the only one out for revenge. Troy sends
a goon after Ari again and Brady rushes to save her, but will that he enough to
convince her that he's still a good bet? And EJ's plan to get his daughter back
continues, though Rafe might get in the way.
Lines of the week:
Bo: You're the same Carly I fell in love with.
Brady: I think on some level Nicole went insane.
Anna: I've heard about you. How could you do the vile and
disgusting things you have done in your life? Sydney will never come home unless
you do something for me.
Sami: I lied to Rafe and now I don't know if I can trust
Hope: It just happened... It's not what you think... It's
Vivian: That duplicitous little tramp. Lawrence's ashes are
barely cold and she's trying to lure Bo into her sticky little web.
Vivian: I guess we both have a lot on our mind.
Specifically, the little succubus named Carly Manning.
Vivian: I wouldn't keep pushing that button, Carly. You can
breathe my air. It won't kill you. This must remind you of the trying time in
the casket. I must admit that was very satisfying. But I have regretted it ever
since. The truth is I should have just buried you dead.
December 31, 2009
December 24, 2009
December 18, 2009
Nicole spent the week sitting in her jail cell. She wished for
Brady to come. Her wish didn't come true. Chloe came instead. She was distracted
by Nicole's new hairstyle, but Nicole managed to push through the diva's ADD to
convince her to try and convince Brady to stop by. She tried but he wouldn't.
Nicole had a few other visitors though. Roman dropped in and she told him about
the woman who abducted Syd. He chose to ignore her. When she told Rafe the same
thing, he decided to believe her and the information was enough for him to get
the only useful lead they've had.
The dysfunctional romantic
triangle of Rafe, Sami and EJ took on a different kind of dysfunctional shape
this week. They decided to 'work together' in an attempt to corner Stefano into
coming clean about where Syd was. Such a feat could only be accomplished with
the help of Sami's superhuman ability to annoy most people to the point that
they will confess to crimes or have heart attacks. As EJ listened to Stefano
ranting at Sami, it was hard to tell how much of what his father said about her
deceptions and manipulations he actually agreed with. Stefano refused to say
anything. Instead, he caught Sami trying to catch him out and tore her shirt off
to reveal the wire she was wearing. Roman promptly arrived and arrested Stefano
for assault, which was a little rich since they had just committed entrapment,
harassment and trespassing without so much as a warrant. Stefano spit on his son
and left for his old familiar cell. While he was sitting in lock up gritting his
teeth, Rafe administered some truth serum to him and finally got confirmation
that Stefano really doesn't know where Syd is after all.
EJ, Ari and Brady bickered.
She demanded that Troy introduce her to Mr. Big. EJ set things up so that he
could meet her without her knowing that he is actually Salem's drug kingpin. He
used to opportunity to 'spar' with her and tell her how much he enjoyed it.
Brady caught them and threw a fit. It's unclear whether EJ really enjoys his
little moments with her as much as he enjoys sticking it to Brady and Rafe, but
it's rather telling that he compares flirting to punching someone in the face.
Brady and Ari then fought and flit apart before getting together for some sex.
Just to be complete about it, Rafe and Sami also had sex this week. They
exchanged their usual candles for Christmas lights. Once more, they did it on
the couch. She kept all of her clothes on and he took his shirt off, which leads
me to believe that old Catholic myth and assume that Sami's ears are actually
her sex organs and Rafe's nipples are his.
Carly got belligerent with
Justin when he continued rubbing her apparent romantic inclinations for Bo in
her face. At least it was snapping her out of her usual exhausted expression.
She even began sporting a broad smirk and pumped up the childishness when she
was at the hospital for her job interview. Justin went there to convince Daniel
not to hire her but it turns out that she and the doctor go way back. Daniel was
happy to hire her, but he seems to be the only one happy to have her around.
Even Maggie had to agree with Justin that having Carly in town is seriously
ruining things for Bo. Carly would have a hard time denying that she is there
for purely non-romantic reasons after the Mayan scroll she read at their wedding
popped out of her purse and into Bo's hand. Beauregard, grand detective that he
is, even managed to pick up the clue about what this meant when it happened.
Maybe he should have dug around in her purse a little more to see if she had a
voodoo doll of Hope as well... Hope came back for the holidays, which led to an
argument with Bo in which she admitted that she doesn't have much faith in their
future. They kissed anyway, but she walked out with a family photo and some
beard burn, saying that love is not enough.
Victor kept his sunglasses on
all week. It was his way of trying to stay invisible from the hell of the
holidays that visits the Kiriakis family every year. Vivian continued settling
into the mansion and setting up Carly from some grim revenge. Even Victor got
excited about that. It was enough to keep him sober after imbibing Vivian's
infamous eggnog. They played domestic, though the rest of the family was less
convinced. Vivian set out on the town with a bundle of flowers and soon left a
corpse in her wake. The corpse just happened to belong to one of Carly's newest
patients. Not a very impressive way to start a new job...
Philip's problems with women
became a little clearer this week when he was forced to deal with his two
mommies. He did his best to avoid their vicious sniping, but they've all lived
with Victor so they know how to give as good as they get. Philip was more
interested in licking frosting off of Melanie's face. They flirted and he asked
her to spend the holidays doing un-Christmas things like watching "The Exorcist"
and throwing watermelons at nuns. She was up for that, but the romantic vibe was
a little more off-kilter elsewhere. Steph and Nate decided to trim the tree
together and maybe go caroling or watch the porpoise fights in the harbor during
the Christmas clam bake. Mia stopped being mousy and just moped. Will had no
will and was totally indecisive. His mother had to prod him to go to the
non-denominational snowflake dance. Unfortunately, it looks like taking Mia to
the shindig could hit a snag since Chad asked her to go too. Mind you, he was
panting over Gabi after meeting her so we'll see how that turns out.
Sydney hung out with her kidnapper, perfectly oblivious, but then again, ever
since she left Salem she's seemed pretty jovial. Her kidnapper (Anna) fell over
while hanging a wreath and Syd giggled a bit. She's proving to be a real DiMera
– comfortable in captivity, laughing at other people's misfortunes. What's more
perplexing is the fact that the show's minions very publicly declared who the
kidnapper was even though they still refused to show who she is to the audience
until the end of the week.
Anyway, now on to the
spoilers. If you don't want to know about the merry happenings in Salem next
week, avert your gaze now and make some snow angels, or eat some shortbread, or
build a gingerbread replica of the DiMera mansion and let EJ and Sami be
gingerbread men so that when they bicker too much and you can bite their heads
off. Elvis "I like to spar" DiMera wants to hold a special candlelight vigil for
Sydney just to get everyone into the Christmas spirit. The plan could pay off
since he receives a note from the kidnapper. Plans are going a little
differently for Philip. It looks like he and Mel aren't going to watch "The
Exorcist" but they will do something shocking. He pops the question to her, and
it's not the question about how they are going to split the royalties for their
sex tape. Could this possibly pull them out of the romantic quagmire they've
been sinking into? Meanwhile, Carly could be sinking Bo even further into one
after she confesses that she really does have feelings for him. Brady finds that
he can't shed his feelings for Nicole easily and ends up going to her side after
Ari alienates him and Gabi makes Mia uncomfortable when she dances with Chad
(she's from the bad side of the tracks so she knows the Lambada).
Lines of the week:
Bo: You move out and I ask you to move back and you tell
me it's up to me. It's not. We're stuck in a pattern so tell me how we get out
of it because it's driving me crazy.
Vivian: My goodness, what
happened to your fashion sense. You almost look like a student nurse.
Rafe: It has a big long Latin
name I can't pronounce, but suffice it to say it's truth serum.
Philip: Whatever you do, don't
sit on the lap of the guy playing Santa.
the season to kick your butt to the curb.
Philip: Someone just told me
I'm lucky to have a family. I'm lucky they haven't killed each other or buried
Stefano: Samantha and that
pimp of a boyfriend and even Elvis are behind this.
Vivian: You're a poster boy
for sanity compared to the Botox bitch.
That's all I got for this week. I'll be back
next week for more of my take on Days, but in the meantime, check out
Christine's Days Of Our Lives Weekly Blog
on Soaps.com this week and Lori's Last Word (DOOL
December 4, 2009
raged. He ranted at his father to stay out of things and vowed to do things with
the help of the Salem PD instead. Nicole called. He kept her on the line for
half an episode but the Salem PD still couldn't trace the call. Stefano thought
his son was making a stupid mistake. EJ threatened to never let him see his
grandchildren again if he didn't back off. Stefano felt bad, after all, the
babysitters EJ and Sami constantly leave the children with need a break once and
awhile. EJ raged some more. Sami and Rafe worried, paced, cuddled, worried,
paced, she screamed hysterically, he calmed her down, worried, paced, screamed,
he calmed her down, worried, expected the worst, then got hopeful, then
pessimistic, then hopeful, then worried and screamed and he calmed her down some
more. To jazz it up, she also worried to the other two men involved this week –
Brady and EJ. She slapped Brady for bailing Nicole out. He felt bad and tried to
help out, which led EJ to scream and bellow and pout. Rafe calmed him down and
then there was more pouting and screaming. Elvis didn't want any help from a man
who loves his wife more than he does.
made it all the way to Cleveland, where she promptly gave herself a makeover,
going from blond to raven, for a moment becoming eerily reminiscent of Beth on
"Passions." She hung out at a flea bitten, bed bug ridden motel and Syd chuckled
the whole time. Fay made a return appearance. Nicole gave her a sob story about
being in a dangerous and abusive relationship, which was mildly accurate, and
spun it for maximum pity points. Her mom gave her all the tips she'd saved up
from the diner and even arranged for Nicole to get a fake passport. Bus tickets,
however, were enough to break Nicole's budget. She had a crises of faith about
what to do next when the bus conductor announced that they were preparing to
leave for Toronto (I know that's how I feel whenever I go back there). She
decided not to run with the baby and tried calling Sami. Before she could speak,
she passed out and was dragged into a hospital. In the fracas, Syd vanished.
Elvis, Brady, Rafe and Sami flew over to Cleveland, bringing their hilariously
awkward tension with them. They were shocked to find Nicole alone and no sign of
a baby anywhere.
settled into town some more. She even did some bird watching with Victor, who
has been sneering a little less than usual. While they shared some amusing
banter, which was surprisingly full of less venom than either of them are
normally known for, things went less smoothly with Philip. He didn't appreciate
having Viv swan back into his life again and ordered her to stay away.
Nonetheless, he did rub her presence into Kate's face.
began the move to Maggie's. Bo was still skeptical about the move. Hope thought
it was a good move, but she still doubted that Carly and Bo would be able to
stay out of each other's pockets. Beauregard did nothing to dissuade her. Hope
was scarce after that. Carly dragged her hobo sack across town and started
moving in. On the way, she spilled scalding coffee on Mel, who was rather
furious to find out that they would be bunk mates now. Of course, Mel had other
things to worry about this week, like her inability to make up her mind or
control herself. Melanie's facial expressions continued to run away from her.
It's like she's not even sure what they are communicating anymore. Watching her
is like seeing someone try to match their emotions to whatever look randomly
appears on their face. But this fascinating inversion of emotional reality had
consequences when it led to her nearly kissing Philly K. Nate walked in on cue,
blew up and broke up with her. Philip wanted to pick up the pieces with her.
He's been trying to do that for awhile. He even told her a sob story about being
a stolen embryo. "I had a tough childhood too," was all she could say in
response. She pushed Philip away, who skulked off to scowl at Bo over beer.
Meanwhile, Steph made a pass at Nate.
Anyway, now on to the spoilers. If you would rather stay in
the dark about the upcoming events in Salem, avert your eyes now and enjoy a
happy weekend stamp collecting, Christmas shopping, gum chewing, boxing, box
socializing, baby stealing or whatever else warms the cockles of your heart.
Otherwise, Carly better check if there is a bomb shelter under Maggie's and
stock up on oxygen masks because Vivian is going to be teaming up with Victor to
extract her revenge. Making things more awkward, she's just moved into the
dysfunctional version of 'The Fact of Life' and isn't being made to feel
entirely welcome. Adding to her misery, no doubt, will be her admission that she
really does have feelings for Bo. Now that she's gotten over the loss of his
mullet, she can share some more tenderness with him, which is exactly what
Justin walks in on. Will he spill this to hopeless Hope? News will be just as
bad for the rest of Salem as Syd continues to go missing. Nicole isn't much help
and gets bundled off to jail while EJ becomes convinced that she knows exactly
where the clever like tyke is.
Lines of the week:
Bo: All kids think their parents are idiots.
Carly: All my life I thought I was a pretty tough cookie,
but the last few years with Lawrence scared me.
Philip: I guess I just need someone to tell me the sun will
come out tomorrow and everything's coming up roses. I also need to hear it's
darkest before the dawn.
Arianna: But Phillip is what you want.
Melanie: No, and if he is, I'm wrong.
Arianna: This isn't about right and wrong, it's about what is and what isn't.
Philip: Now 'Incubator Mom' is back and she wants to coddle
me. How can I be a success if I started out as a stolen embryo?
November 20, 2009
that the truth is out, Salem will never be quite the same again. Each day
brought new torment for the poor people of the little town as they endured all
the pain and penury that's been held in reserve for the nation's capital of fish
guts, fishy births and gut-wrenching screams.
Poor Nicole. All of her dreams have been smashed again.
Even the porn industry might be hesitant to take her back now. On the bright
side, she did share a truly beautiful and highly nuanced confessional scene with
EJ on the pier. It was the kind of scene that soaps only do at their best. Now
that she is looking at the end to her life in crime, Nicole has to prepare for a
life with the 'biotches' and 'hos' in orange who she used to mock so
endearingly. But all is not lost for Nicole. She still has hope, and not Hope
Brady, just Brady. He showed up to pay her bail because she's so poor.
Sami. She finally found out the whole truth about Grace and Sydney. Well
informed is never where Sami is most comfortable, and this was no exception. She
kept losing her footing. To her credit, even if she bitch slapped Nicole and
sadistically ordered her to admit that Syd was her daughter, she still let her
say goodbye to the little tyke. The brief period of co-parental bliss with EJ
was short-lived and he soon exploded in paranoia, assuming that she was trying
to swipe away the child he had recently put out on the curb like trash.
EJ. Not only did he find out the vast extent to which he has been hideously
duped by Nicole, he's discovered that he now has to be stuck in a parental
triangle with Rafe and Sami, possibly for decades to come. It's amazing he's
still willing to leave the house considering how out of touch with reality he
must be feeling. But he braved it anyway, spending much of the week raving and
ranting at the pier when he wasn't swilling booze and ranting at whoever
stumbled into his mansion. He had it out with virtually everyone, from Nicole to
Roman to Stefano, and, after a brief moment of sensitivity, Sami and Rafe.
Mia. She's ruined her whole life to save someone whose life just got ruined.
That applies to Nicole in the short run and, very likely, Sydney in the long.
Maybe now that the truth is out, Will will forgive her for her lies, or maybe
she has just made things even worse. At least she's proven to Maggie that she
can be every bit as prone to trouble as Melanie. She's also proven that when she
gets angry, she can be pretty nasty, which bodes well for her future in Salem.
Poor Miss Melanie. Doomed to be adored by two attractive
men. If that wasn't bad enough, no matter who she chooses, she seems destined to
be stuck in a triangle with Stephanie. Actually, three men were interested in
little Mel this week. Mark flew all the way over an ocean of Eurotrash to find
her for a little afternoon delight. Well, actually he just wanted some money she
owed him for an Arabian horse which never materialized. Philly came to her
rescue, which resulted in kisses. With her past randomly coming back to haunt
her, however, does this mean Trent can come back? Roscoe Born usually comes back
as a ghost at some point after his character has been killed. Please?
Philly K. Without his mother around to fuss over him, he's been left to his own
devices. He seems particular fond of one in particular – his cell phone. In
addition to, no doubt, storing his own copy of his infamous video escapades on
it, it's also what he has been using to wage an unceasing war of seduction on
poor Melanie. He's called her so many times that she finally went to see him and
asked him to stop. He took this delayed reaction as meaning that she didn't want
him to stop. Even Maggie told him to stop but he wouldn't listen. How could he
though? His smile has been so broad that it's practically muffling his ears.
Poor Victor. Without any drugs to deal, all he wants is
love, but he's getting the cold shoulder everywhere he goes. He dropped by to
see Caroline, who hasn't been well. Even her clam chowder can not keep away the
swine flu. He didn't hesitate to make a pass at her but she thinks his business
is a big no no. Little does she know what Brady learned this week, that his
grandfather sold off his nasty business to some other sordid soul. Brady was not
at all pleased, especially after all the high and mighty chit chat his
grandfather spewed about Ari. Poor Victor wasn't getting any love from his
Vivian. She's traveled all the way across the world only to have to endure not
only Hope's abysmal design sense, but also the truly wretched coffee proffered
by the Java Cafe. At least she seems to be enjoying the prospect of making Carly
suffer. So far, they've only traded barbs, mostly about hatchets rather than
about being buried alive, but her arrival has finally brought this story to
life. It was starting to get so grim that the thought of Justin jumping Hope's
bones was the only thing to suggest it had any life in it at all.
Poor Stefano. He didn't show up until the end of the week
and only wasted a few minutes playing dumb before admitting what he knew and
saying that Nicole had, more or less, the right idea. After all, EJ still got to
raise his baby and he didn't have to have Salem's most frequent preggo around
for it. In his own way he meant well. But then again, didn't everyone? That's
part of what makes the whole thing so brutal. Good intentions often lead to bad
consequences. The big question left was, how did Stefano not know what went down
while he was away? How lazy is that? In the end, after Stefano told him he
feared the truth would send poor Elvis back to Sami, EJ tried strangling his
course, the person to feel really badly for is poor Sydney. Either way, she has
to be raised by one or two of the most inappropriate parents in the world. She
can either be raised by a burbling, neurotic, women who lives in a shoe with so
many children she barely knows what to do, or by the head of the town's drug
cartel. Being half Brady and half DiMera also leaves her with a rich genetic
inheritance that will give her a penchant for maniacal abuses of power,
perpetual lying, loud fits of rage, radical leaps in age and explosive bouts of
And now on to the spoilers for next week's Tom Turkey
truncated edition of the show. If you don't want to know, leave now and have a
pleasant weekend. Otherwise... she just got to town but she's already seen
enough to make her worried about what her sister has been up to. Gabi quickly
stumbles on some of her jailbird big sister's drugs and suspects the worst.
Tension in the family isn't getting relieved from the outside either. Arianna is
starting to suspect the worst of Brady thanks to his ongoing involvement with
the walking disaster known as Nicole. He tries to add a little scope to his good
deeds by reaching out to Sami but she slaps his hand away. It didn't help that
he bailed Nicole out. Meanwhile, Chad and Mia join hands to mourn the child who
they never really got to know. Vivian tries to get over her grieving by bonding
a little with Victor over their mutual hatred on Carly. While they plot her
demise, Carly finally comes clean with Bo about more details concerning
Lawrence's untimely death. His further involvement only manages to fuel the
fires of his ongoing fight with Hope.
Lines of the week:
Stephanie: It's just a dumb shoe.
Stefano. (on having Rafe killed) Insects
Justin: (to Bo) You're acting like a
Mia: Everything makes sense now
except... why... why would she switch babies?
Bo: Would he be so sympathetic if you
weren't drop dead gorgeous and fun to be around?
Vivian: You, Bo and Hope together —
ménage à trois. Do you darn his socks together... plan his special meals?"
November 6, 2009
paced around Bo's house and worried between flashbacks and nightmares. Bo paced
around and furrowed his brow to try and calm her down. She said they should
bring in Justin for help. When Justin arrived, she refused to tell him anything
so he refused to help her. When she went to bed, Hope dropped by, at Victor's
prompting, only to find Carly in her bed. Hope freaked out in a 'Goldilocks and
the Three Bears' kind of way and threatened to call the cops. She gave Carly 24
hours to clear off. Bo assured Carly that Hope would keep her word but,
apparently, as soon as she went back to the Kiriakis compound, she called the
Feds and Carly was arrested. That actually seemed to calm her down a bit.
Whatever happened to her to put her in this awkward place? This isn't exactly
the Carly that I remember. Either, she is a hapless victim or she is just
playing everyone. Victor thinks she's a psycho. Even considering his dubious
take on most women, he may have a point. When she killed Lawrence, she looked
cold blooded enough and she had willfully married a man who had always been
pretty far gone. Or she may just be a victim after all, which is a far more
boring option. The fact that this entire issue is unclear is the only thing
that's actually making the plot interesting at the moment, with the exception of
Vivian's smattering of slight appearances. From the way she talks, this is going
to be drawn out for awhile so she can get maximum pleasure out of afflicting her
old enemy with as much damage as possible. In 'Days' speak that can only mean
two things: It will either be rushed through quickly and farcically, or it will
never go anywhere. Then again, they could surprise us... Fingers crossed.
Victor also stuck his oar into another relationship this
week. He told Brady that Ari is a drug dealer. Brady blew up, ran across town
and confronted her. Their secret relationship ended rather publicly. He angrily
walked around town, drinking cappuccino after cappuccino. He bumped into Nicole
and dropped the hint that things are dead in the water between he and the raven
haired one. Nicole had other fish to fry and told him they are 'good friends'.
Since she's about to leave town, who will be keeping Brady warm at night?
it be Ari after all? Even though he said that she'd be sleeping alone from now
on, she may have already found someone to take Brady's place. EJ and Ari had the
first encounter in their 'new' relationship. Now that he knows she's a drug
dealer, he's paddling over to her. She has no idea that he's her boss, of
course. Can you sue for sexual harassment in the underworld? I'm actually
looking forward to this a lot, basically because Ari isn't Nicole or Sami. EJ
and Nicole were fun at first, but he changed her a lot, and, though they're well
matched in many ways, they've gotten kind of annoying. He had a few cold run ins
with Nicole and then one with Sami this week. They bonded a bit at Grace's
grave. But before the Irish flutes could start playing, I had a traumatic flash.
Didn't Santo go to South America and start a cocoa plantation after he left
Colleen? And wasn't he then haunted by Aztec spirits after he stole some of
their sacred jewels which were then passed down to Stefano? He could have had an
affair with one of the local novices there, a woman who just happened to be
Ari's grandmother? No, I'm kidding. They don't have to get that desperate
selling any romance that doesn't involved Sami. If I have to listen to poor
James imitating Chico Marx as he gushes about the virtues of olive oil for five
minutes again my head will explode.
Mel tossed and turned but couldn't get Philip out of her mind, even when Nate
was in bed with her. They didn't consummate their relationship as she'd hoped.
Even though she jumped into his comfy new bed, his phone vibrated in a way that
made him know that saving the lives of Salem's citizens was more important than
saving his sex life. She turned to Brady about her libidinal conundrum. "Dump
them both and go it alone," he advised, in what may have been the best advice
she's ever been given. Across town, someone else could have used some solid
advice. Poor little Mia had to tell everyone what a slut she was so that Chad
wouldn't think that he was the father of her child. She even had to lie to
woolly Will about it. But not everyone was convinced by the stories which the
young blond had lifted from a Larry Clark movie. Rafe stumbled back into town to
steal Syd's teething ring and Sami's toothbrush for a DNA test. Sami caught him
at her place and they pushed the penguin out of the way to swap some DNA of
their own on her couch. Then he ran back into the night to find the truth and
fantasize about how he'd like to kill Nicole.
And now the spoilers. If you don't want to know, now is the
time to run. Rafe's plans to wreak havoc by revealing the truth could be
railroaded when Stefano takes out a hit on the guy. Considering how incompetent
DiMera henchmen are, this could go anywhere. Anywhere, or at least, somewhere
else, is where Nicole wants to be. She leaves Syd with Chloe as she runs off
just as the proverbial hits the fan. Although the wide eyed diva has been
wanting a baby, this isn't exactly what she had in mind. With Nicole leaving the
picture, EJ's eyes are already gravitating on Ari. But he may have competition
from the same man who has been helping Nicole deceive him for so long. Arianna
won't let go of Brady easily and tells him that she's a lot more than a drug
dealer, she's an undercover operator too. Brady isn't the only one getting in
the way. Victor worries that Carly is the worst thing in the world for Bo and
Hope right now. The fact that Justin is trying to get her out of jail doesn't
help the old tycoon feel any better.
Lines of the week:
Chad: (to Nicole) Your film work makes me think you can fake things, you know,
like loving her.
EJ: I'm not pressing charges against Nicole, but I will
never forgive her. I think she's suffered enough.
Sami: I didn't want dueling headstones.
Nicole: It's scary to think his decision not to throw me in
jail is an improvement in our relationship.
October 23, 2009
Nicole's downfall continued this week, moving from one
desperate step to another. Each day things seemed to crumble a little more for
Misty Circle, the faded star of "Locker Room Lolita." She turned to Brady with a
desperate plea to run away to no man's land with her. They admitted that they
love each other and really seemed to mean it. He wouldn't run though, wouldn't
give her money and told her that he was seeing someone else. Nicole was
devastated, even I was kind of sad, but worse things happened to her this week.
Chad Peterson Woods, the only unmarried Salemite to have a
name that long, continued trying to ruin the lives of the blond women of the
town. He berated Mia and Will, who clung to each other lovingly. He berated
Nicole, who got really desperate and tried to bargain with the only thing she
had left: her body. Although Chad was a big fan of her glittering past in the
gutter cinema, he wasn't keen to take on a part in "Lays of Our Lives: Salem
MILFs." Instead, he threatened to use her porn past against her in court to get
his daughter back. Sami tried to talk some sense into him next by nakedly
telling him what a grossly incompetent mother she was and what a terrible person
she is for trying to raise children she obviously can't raise. After Maggie
bumped into him and revealed that Sami was Will's mom, her little chat collapsed
on itself and only made him more determined to get his daughter back. He turned
to his father, DA Woods, for advice, and Woods sent him to Justin to arbitrate
things. The meeting between Mia, Will and Chad was a flop.
Meanwhile, Nicole turned to Sami so she could listen to
someone else crying for a change. Sami told her all about how being a mother
entitles you to do anything, good or evil and, even if you're awful, as long as
you love your kid, anything goes. Nicole choked on her tears the whole time
because the flood of irony was large enough to fill an ocean. Sami then pulled
out a surprise: since Nicole couldn't get cash from anyone else, Sami decided to
give her some. She's been living off of money John left behind and decided to
hand it all over so her former enemy, now best friend, could leave town forever.
Stefano finally woke up and started talking, too fast for
his own good as it turned out. The Phoneix might never die but that doesn't mean
his wits are as lively as they used to be. He made several slip ups in as many
minutes to make his little EJ wonder if he's known about Nicole's penchant for
Kate made a perfunctory pop up to see if she could get away
with meddling in the life of the only son she has in Salem right now. She hunted
Stephanie down to try and urge her to get back with the bullet riddled
billionaire but she continued to insist that they don't fit together. Kate was
mostly doing it to prevent her son from continuing his porn star antics with
Melanie. Philip chewed her out for sticking her finely carved nose into his
life. He spent the rest of the time trying to pretend he wasn't flirting with
Mel, who spent the week leaping from pouting to biting her lip as she flirted
with Nathan. They kissed a few times until Maggs caught them in the kitchen and
tried to put the kibosh on their romance.
Victor started selling his drug operations to EJ. This
could be because he's tired of the trade, or he may be setting things up so
Elvis will take the fall for being the pusher of more than just prams. Hope came
back to pack up and leave. Before she could, Victor cornered her and begged her
not to go, even offering her a room of her own in the Kiriakis compound. She
reluctantly agreed to take it. While she was moving out on Bo, it looked like
someone else could be moving in. Carly's boat pulled up in the harbor. Omar
wanted to drop Rafe on the dock so he could become food for the sea gulls or
longshoremen, but Carly chose to be more ethical and snuck into town to rob the
hospital. After she grabbed some antibiotics, she shot him up and he continued
Chloe and Daniel had sex followed by cake and then he told
her it looks like she can't have children. Brady and Arianna made out quite a
bit and decided to keep their relationship a secret, much to Roman's chagrin. He
even threatened to have her thrown back in prison, where she was known as 'Lock
And now onto the spoilers, if you don't want to know, have
a happy weekend preparing for Halloween. It doesn't look like anyone in Salem
will be in the mood to go trick or treating. Sami's half-brother bumps into her
and tells her the half of the story which Nicole has already been telling her.
This leads Sami to wonder what else he knows and just how involved he was in all
of the child swapping going on. She may have to prepare herself for some other
ghastly news though. No matter what Mia says, even if she promises to play
Locker Room Lolita with Chad, he still won't back down on his determination to
get his daughter back. Unfortunately, he may regret being so easy going about
rejecting women when it turns out that the DNA test isn't going to come back the
way he'd hoped. While Nicole is trying to avoid being poked, Sami is busy
ranting at Stefano and accusing him of turning on Nicole.
Lines of the week:
Stefano: Where is Sydney?
EJ: With her mother.
Stefano: Oh my God! She is with Sami?
Kate: (to Nicole) Will you be leaving a forwarding address
for your hate mail?
Roman: I'm not so old I don't remember doing things that
were stupid and dangerous.
Chad: (to Nicole) Thanks, but no thanks. As much fun as it
would be to brag to my friends about about bagging a hot old nymphomaniac, I'm
not doing anything to screw up getting my kid back.
October 9, 2009
now EJ finally knows the truth... more or less. He exploded at Nicole all week.
He even opened up to his sister about the mess. Lexi had to stop herself short
of saying that he must be the world's biggest dope. More surprisingly, he opened
up to Sami about it. Of course, the real reason he's angry has to do with blood
and what it means to his, basically feudal, feelings of love. Sydney isn't his
biological child. That was the real shocker. He admitted that without the child,
he couldn't have loved Nicole. He only claimed he truly loved Sami after she had
his child. As he told Lexi, he loved Syd because he saw himself in her. As soon
as he discovered that they don't share DNA, it ended. That's because, as Tony
once observed, his 'love' is really all about Stefano. Women are a warped way
that he can consummate his relationship with his long estranged father by giving
him heirs and proving his sometimes dubious masculinity. The incestuous
overtones are even weirder now that Stefano is married to EJ's former sex
Nicole didn't handle the mess well either. She's determined
to stick around and fight for her family. That's what she's been doing all
along, after all, so why she thinks it will suddenly work it out well now is
anyone's guess. She had the nerve to rant at Brady, blaming him for her lies
coming out. Admittedly, he slipped up but this is still her handiwork. Aside
from Syd, he's the only one in the mess I really feel bad for.
and Kate's wedded bliss continued for a few days and quickly turned comatose.
Most of the town gathered around to sneer at them. Kate, who should be used to
it by now, was really annoyed, likely because even she is appalled by the
situation. Stefano, meanwhile, completely glutted himself at Chez Rouge. It was
almost like he was trying to, very publicly, put himself into a diabetic coma.
You have to wonder how deliberate it was on his part and why he would do this.
He was carted off after having a heart attack. Everyone stared at Kate, assuming
she'd just poisoned him. She seemed pretty relaxed about the whole thing and
took it in stride, rubbing EJ's face in the fact that this could mean she'll be
not only his new mommy, but also his new boss.
Nathan and Mel finally had a date. They had plenty of hand
on hand action and even some kisses. Philip made another pass at her, but she's
busy with Nate now. Maggie worried about the potential threesome. She should
have worried even more when Steph voiced her interest in Nathan. That's just
what Salem needs - another square romance. Things went even less well for Will,
Mia and Chad. All three are miserable. Mia is the most miserable of all, having
lost her baby and now Will. She's set to lose even more and Chad just comes off
like an assbag more every day. Daniel and Chloe still haven't re-consummated
their relationship. They just have lip on lip action. He's back at work and
she's wandering around town as clueless about everything as she would have been
if she hadn't been in a coma.
other big news of the week was that Carly is finally back, even if we still have
little idea what's up with her. So far, we've been teased with a splintered
glimpse of her final days with Lawrence. Their, always odd, romance apparently
went very sour over the last while and she wound up stabbing him in the gut.
Sure that he was dead, she ran off and jumped on a jet headed for Salem.
Although she tried calling Justin and Bo, there were phone troubles thanks to
turbulence and the apparent inability of Salemites to answer in-flight calls. So
far, I'm really intrigued to know what's going on with her, though I'm afraid it
will be less than surprising. It is nice to see her again, Crystal Chapell seems
to have sunk right back into the character.
The most shocking thing this week was seeing Sami look for
a job. She searched high and low. Well, she checked out an animal daycare and
asked Maggie for work. I guess she can't really work at the pub with Arianna.
Rafe was curiously absent all week after Meredith rolled him into the Salem
harbor, which brings us to the spoilers. Next week, everyone is Salem begins
answering questions in monosyllables and buying paintings of dogs playing poker.
It turns out that this strange change coincides with a large fresh batch of
Caroline's infamous fish soup. A DNA analysis of the soup reveals that the fish
had been feeding on Rafe for a good few days. No, I'm joking. That doesn't
happen, but this does... Word spreads that Nicole's deceptions have been
revealed and this means a few more people could be caught in the crossfire. Mia
and Nicole try to look for a way to shield themselves while Elvis goes after
Brady. Meanwhile, Carly left violence and trouble behind so she may be
disappointed to find that there is plenty more of it in Salem. She'll have more
than phantoms to deal with soon. She winds up having a gun shoved in her face.
Over at the Kiriakis compound, the news of Lawrence's death seeps in. How will
Victor and the family handle it and what could this mean for Carly when she
arrives? And Lucas completes the world's fastest course of rehab. A Salem day
usually runs long enough to brew a vat of wine in real time, but not this time.
He returns to town to make amends and take his twelve steps, one of which will
be to Chloe to make things right between them.
Lines of the week:
Kate: (to Daniel) Wow, you figured it out. He's a diabetic, his health isn't
great, he sat there gorging himself and had a heart attack. You should alert the
Nobel Prize committee. I didn't hurt the man.
Philip: (to Victor) You are a cynical bastard... A flaming
misogynist. I could date Joan of Arc and you would think I was scraping the
bottom of the barrel.
EJ: I seem to be drawn to women who lie.
Lexi: (to EJ) Y'know, for a smart guy, you are a total
Nathan: (to Steph) I'm having dinner with Melanie, so
tonight is a bad night.
Melanie: Thanks for defending my honor.
Philip: It was nothing.
Maggie: (to Sami) Gee, I've never seen a job application
with death row on it.
September 25, 2009
was a week of bad news for the mama's boys of Salem. Luckily, it was actually a
very good week for viewers of the show. There was a seriously different whiff in
the air that one can only hope lasts into the future. Long-standing roles were
inverted or reversed or mocked. Sami managed to be strategically vindictive and
an extraordinary bimbo in the same episode. Kate was pathetic enough that she
was almost pitiable and Stefano and Victor managed to be cruel but cheerful and
funny all at the same time.
The week started out a bit
solemn and then turned into a weird nightmare. After weeks of agitation, Hope
left Bo and took Ciara with her. They had the same argument they've been having
for weeks. He was miserable, she was distant and a bit righteous. Everyone saw
this coming. Even Bo probably saw this coming but couldn't be sure. After all,
he hasn't had visions since he was knocked on the noggin during Ciara's rescue.
Ciara is safe and sound, the same cannot be said for Rafe. Meredith, the
perfunctory loony redhead, returned to town to wage her war of revenge on
Salem's busiest unemployed man. She tracked him down at Sami's and conked him on
the head. Before she could drag him off, the blonde one returned. She kept
trying to call Rafe, who just happened to be slumped on the floor unconscious
behind her. She didn't notice and ran off to look for him while Meredith whisked
him away to a basement somewhere. Does this mean that we're in for a lengthy
torture session? The last time Galen Gering was imprisoned in a basement he was
forced to have sex with his girlfriend's sister while her grandfather watched.
Can "Days" out-kink "Passions"? I doubt it. Sami ran off to chat to Brady, who
was in a bad mood all week. So was Sami until the end of the week. I guess it
was only threatening to take Lucas' children away, without having to resort to
her usual bag of deceptions, that helped her blow off steam and put a smile back
on her face.
Bo and Hope's marriage crumbled and disappeared early in the week, the rest of
the week was concerned with Stefano finally get an answer to the question he
popped to Kate long, long ago. She came around and agreed to marry him, though
she let out a truly horrifying shriek when she did. This was thanks to Chloe
returning from her coma and brushing the cobwebs off her brain. She quickly
cleared Daniel's name and they spent the week being cuddly. Even Father Matt
dropped by to bless her, though she insists on staying 'faithful' to Lucas until
the divorce comes through. The priest was cool with that, even if it doesn't
make much sense from a Catholic point of view. Then again, Daniel did ask her to
marry him... Lucas was less cool with the whole thing, but then, news that his
mother was marrying one of the men he hates the most in the world probably
didn't help either. Since he's already disowned her enough times, he didn't have
to bother this time around. That task fell to his brother, Philip. Although
Philip was initially in denial that his mother could do such ghastly things,
that didn't last. Even Lucas managed to deny it to himself longer, but neither
of them were stubborn enough to keep it up. Philly begged his mommy dearest not
to go through with the wedding but Kate decided to be totally fatalistic, which
is a strange pose to take when you are trying to save your life. After singing
to her son that she is a survivor, he disowned her, though he showed up at the
wedding to watch the deed be done. Lucas was too busy falling off the wagon,
landing on Maggie's floor and then having his stomach pumped, to attend.
wedding was a small affair at Chez Rouge. She wore a rather ghastly red dress
and a long bead of pearls which resembled a noose. The ceremony was quick, but
the before and after was packed full of a lengthy series of one liners from
Victor. It was almost as if the writers had been saving them up for the
occasion. After the callous hilarity, Kate actually shared an almost tender
moment with Theo after he spilled her champagne all over her gown. Everyone took
digs at Kate this week, and really enjoyed doing it, which was enough reason to
watch in itself.
odd thing which has started to stand out was that since Stefano has, more or
less, handed over the business to Elvis, they've sort of reversed roles. Stefano
has actually become like the young one in the relationship, getting the older
one out of town so he can get up to mischief. He's also smart mouthed, sarcastic
and so on. When he called his son, who was vacationing in Paris, to tell him the
wedding news, Elvis' reaction was almost like that of an irate father in an old
sitcom who was outraged that his son was throwing a party at his house. Elvis
has been left to be a senile crank, completely out of touch with reality. Of
course, Elvis never actually had an adolescence. He was sent to law school when
he was barely out of diapers and came out a man. Maybe that's why whenever
Nicole is walking around him in a negligee he seems to be a mixture of leering
schoolboy and a pervy old man.
The darker side of Elvis,
however, will return next week... Now on to the spoilers. For those who do not
want to know, look away now and have a fruitful weekend. That's one thing that
Nicole and EJ won't be having. They'll return from their brief and sticky
honeymoon to the now over-crowded Casa DiMera. While he's staring daggers at
her, his former flame, Kate, can't help but notice. It will be even more obvious
when Elvis nearly gets violent as he confronts Nicole over her lies. Is this the
end for the couple? If it is, she may already have someone waiting to comfort
her. Melanie realizes that Brady still has pretty profound feelings for Nicole,
no matter how much he likes to deny it or how big and soulful Ari's eyes can be.
Melanie won't spend much time arguing about this with him since Nathan drags her
attention away when he asks her out. Is she interested, or will the moping
'motherless' Philip hold her attention? He may be distracted by what's going on
in his family's mansion, namely Victor blowing his top after Daniel declares his
plans to marry the diva of his dreams. While he's trying to fulfill his dreams,
Sami gets bored looking for Rafe and decides it's time to get over him. She
might not have given up so easily if she'd known he was trapped in Meredith's
Lines of the week:
Brady: Well, I guess Copernicus was wrong - the earth doesn't revolve around the
sun, but around you instead.
Brady: Most imaginary boyfriends tend to be fickle.
Victor: You want to smell nice
on your trip to skid row?
Maggie: I think they are going
to honeymoon in North Korea.
September 11, 2009
kidnapping story continued to unravel this week. Bo spent most of the week
sitting in the pub pouting about his fight with Hope. He complained to anyone
who would lend him an ear and fueled a remarkable degree of enmity against
Justin. Hope hung out at home with her remarkably untraumatized daughter until
Dean stopped by to bite his fingernails and act concerned. His nerves soon
turned to be his undoing. As he anxiously played with his lighter,
Ciara recognized the sound and tipped her mom off that he was the kidnapper.
She tried to play it cool but....
the rest of this musing on the blog!
August 28, 2009
Most of the week picked up where last week left off - with the
kidnapping. Ciara sat in her blindfold, ear plugs and blanket while Brenda, Kyle
and Dean argued over what to do. Since the little girl was sense deprived for
most of the event, she seemed virtually undisturbed by everything. Theo wound up
being the one to point the cops in the right direction. He identified the tattoo
which Kyle had and that led the cops to him. Dean caught wind that things were
about to fall apart and ended up shooting his two accomplices before shooting
himself in the shoulder to make it look like he was in a gun battle with them.
He got all of the commendations for rescuing Ciara, but his desire for revenge
The kidnapping seemed to annoy
more people than it thrilled. Between the bad dialogue, the extreme, angst
ridden facial expressions and the lack of any real tension, the plot quickly
fizzled. I did laugh uncontrollably several times, though that likely wasn't the
intention. Salem has a long history of dopey criminals, which only serves to
make the town's cops look even stupider. Now, in Dean, they have a character who
manages to do both. Nick Stabile, who plays Dean and has been bouncing around
Daytime since the early 90s, at least managed to evince something of a
personality through the debacle, though the reason for his revenge, professional
jealousy, are almost impossible to take seriously. While Dean sticks around for
awhile, waiting for his plot to rot, Hope and Bo seem to have opened a wound
between them which is likely to fester. Tongues are already wagging that the
couple will split, thanks to Justin popping up and Carly creeping in around the
corner. As a couple, they've been fizzling for years. A split up may be exactly
what both characters require to become interesting again.
Then again, splitting up has
never worked for Philip and Stephanie. They actually manage to become more
boring each time it happens. To cap it all, they keep making my Philly harder to
like. It's bad enough that he keeps going back to that laundry cycle of a
relationship with that non-entity Stephanie, but he has to break little
Melanie's heart too. Romance didn't exactly seem in the air for anyone else
either. Chad threw a lot of longing looks at Mia. She flits between longing and
confusion. Even if she reads her journal entries aloud, it still isn't entirely
clear what she wants. Chad tried to make another move on her during some dance
for teens at the Cheatin' Heart. She danced with Will instead and Chad had to
stop her from driving off with a drunken Kinsey. Salem's obligatory teen bitch
only got whiplash and a neck brace but her face was still intact enough to
bicker with Chad about what to do next. Since the adult characters on the show
are all so immature, it's actually really strange to watch the teenagers
interact. There's something remarkably weird and staid about it, like they've
hired random children to imitate old people trying to pretend to be young
people. Then again, I guess that's what it is.
Brady caught Ari with her
friend Troy again. Troy is a drug dealer with designs on her. The last time
Brady saw him, he punched him out. Now Ari wants Troy to get her in to see their
bosses. At the end of the week, Lindsay Hartley arrived to take over the role.
She's already shared scenes with both of her former "Passions" co-stars. One of
the things, perhaps the key thing that I've come to appreciate about Ari is
that, unlike the rest of the town's women, she doesn't constantly break into
tears. Now that one of the few actresses who can cry as much as Alison Sweeney
has come to town, how long can this last? I still don't know what to make of her
so I'll leave it alone.
Dr. Baker continued to
threaten Nicole. She fretted. Stefano groaned and offered to take care of it.
Rafe dug into it. Sami cried and tried not to cry. Rafe tracked Dr. Baker to the
Dominican and went after him. Sami followed. Lucas doled out advice to everyone
although he has no idea what to do himself. Chloe stayed comatose. Her father
dropped into town to check and see if there was anything he could do. There
wasn't. But the highlight of the week was probably Kate and Daniel. He's
obviously been going stir crazy in the Kiriakis compound and, between the random
hallucinations of Chloe and the binge drinking, he's managed to form a crazy
plan. He's using Kate's lust for him to try and get one over on her, or, at
least, get into her apartment for a snoop. All of their lewd stares, tawdry
comments and panting were a real sight to behold.
Anyway, onto the spoilers.
Please look away now if you do not wish to be spoiled. Go and have a happy
weekend instead where you can imagine what you'd actually like to see happen.
Next week Kate continues pushing Lucas to hurry up and do what Chloe asked him
to do in her living will. While she's busy bossing him around, Daniel is digging
around in her apartment looking for a way to take her down. Across town, Rafe
continues to dig. His job is a little easier since Dr. Dick is dead and his
lawyer holds all of the information that Rafe could need. Things aren't running
quite as smoothly for his sister. She is trying to get a meeting with her drug
masters while Salem's other crime families prepare for a shakeup. Stefano wants
to hand the family business over to EJ but, as usual, he's a bit distracted.
Philip's left his criminal past behind him for now and jumps into Stephanie's
loving arms. Meanwhile, Chad continues trying to get Mia to welcome him back and
recruits Kinsey to steal her diary so he can get the dirt on what's really going
on with her.
Lines of the week:
EJ: Football... involves a
foot... and a ball... That's why they call it football.
Daniel: Whatever it takes. A
man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Philip: I need to tell you
something. I promise – The past is over.
Lucas: Mia is a sweetheart,
but with a past. I'm trying to protect him. It could end up in heartbreak.
Kinsey: I just committed
August 14, 2009
tried to move ahead with Mia, even if she isn't a virgin. I was baffled about
how this was a big deal but I guess I didn't go to Salem High. Anyway, they
kissed and made up then he got to have his mother blubber to him about her love
life. I guess if seeing what relationships do to his mom isn't a turn off,
nothing can be. Meanwhile, Kinsey and Chad continued trying to do the
lightweight version of "Cruel Intentions" to break up the couple.
Things weren't much more sophisticated among the slightly
older Salemites. Melanie and Nathan continued to bungle hanging out together,
which is a real accomplishment considering the fact that they are roommates.
They tried going to the Cheatin' Heart, but when Mel returned to him after
running to the bathroom to figure out how to button her shirt properly, she
spotted his cheatin' heart with Steph and blew up. After Mel sulked away, Nate
and Steph apologized to each other and hung out.
went a little better for Brady and Arianna, who both managed to take off most of
their clothes this week for some poolside flirtation before the summer is over.
I guess they were trying to prove that neither of them were hiding any drugs.
But it wasn't all light. The other major couples in town were in various
versions of misery. Sami and Rafe broke up again. I've lost track of how many
times this has happened. I always thought it was just for the make up sex, but
Sami's feelings for him now run so deep that she likes his painting of dogs
playing poker. She whimpered to her son and then to Lucas, who was hardly the
right guy to open up to. He was gruff. He was ready to condemn her and just as
ready to condemn Rafe as a murderer.
course, Lucas has has other things on his mind, like his wife being in a coma.
After last week's skeptical version of Lucas, the one who was bright enough to
realize that his mother is a psycho, this week saw him return to his far dumber
self. While Lucas wailed, Daniel seemed to be getting exhausted from repeating
his accusations against Kate over and over again. This time he got to repeat
them to Justin when he returned to Salem to be his lawyer. Victor hired him
because he's family, though he's never actually tried a criminal case before. He
didn't do much but give and 'aw shucks' look and say that Kate may be too smart
for him to beat.
He wasn't the only return this week. Dr. Dick Baker also
reared his head, calling in from a tropical location to blackmail Nicole again.
She turned to Stefano to sort it out. She's still insecure about everything and
Dick is making it worse. The only time she and EJ seem secure is when they're
having sex. The rest of the time, they're a mess. He hung out at Grace's grave
and did some bonding with his sister.
visions returned to haunt him this week. This time, they came back to warn him a
little late. After he'd stuffed them away for awhile, they resurfaced just as
Ciara was being abducted at the carnival only a few feet from the mayor and
numerous parents. She gave the kidnapper the same eerily blank stare that Rafe
is always giving Sami. I guess you really shouldn't take candy from strangers.
So why take Ciara? For money probably, unless we're in for a real surprise and
this is tied to the Alamains. But wasn't this the same guy who was stalking Hope
and looking for a cash grab after hearing about her big charity donation? Since
he's going to want millions, does this mean that Bo will have to turn to Victor
for help? Victor may be looking for more of a father-son relationship since his
with Philip is rapidly disintegrating. Since Carlo was abruptly introduced and
killed, Philip has been drifting around town. His father tried to snap him out
of the moping and told him to get some backbone. This only made him more
alienated from the family business. He moped straight into Melanie, who offered
to make him feel better. Can you guess where this is going?
Now onto the spoilers. If you don't want to know, then look
away now and enjoy your weekend. The kidnapping gets into full swing. We haven't
had one of these for a couple of months and this one actually involves kids.
Hope freaks out and Justin tries to comfort her as Bo get bullheaded and refuses
to give up a penny. As usual, the Salem PD is next to useless, which may be why
Brady doesn't run it them right away after finding cocaine at the pub. It didn't
fall out of an old pair of his pants either. Will he have the brains to figure
out that Ari is Salem's biggest drug dealer? Daniel and Kate ran into each other
in her fantasy this week, but next week they'll run into each other for real.
Since she still has the hots for him in her own weird way, will he be smart
enough to exploit that to his advantage?
Lines of the week:
Sami (to Stephanie): Tomorrow is another day. You'll get
another happily ever after... uh...
Brady: Swimsuits are prohibited in this pool.
Victor: This is business. It's dirty sometimes. If you
don't like it, teach kindergarten.
Sami (of Rafe): He just gave me a blank stare.
July 31, 2009
Maybe it's because it's so bloody hot and I haven't been sleeping well,
but I was feeling really disengaged as I watched the show this week. It's been
sort of like Philip's hair - strangely limp but with too much body at the same
time. There were a few highlights. Victor laying into Kate and her pretending
that she cared was nicely over the top, if predictable. And then there were odd
things, like one of Abe's infrequent appearances. How come every time he shows
up to berate Bo about how he's doing his job, he tells him that things are
coming after his ass? Has he been moonlighting as a prison warden or something?
Nicole did a lot more heartfelt crying, which is now ceasing to be sad and just
become disturbing. It wasn't really a week where things happened but where
people argued about what happened.
Sami badgered and issued ultimatums to Rafe all week. He
even caught her sending her father out to investigate him. He finally broke down
and told her about Emily... sort of. It was only after she regaled him with the,
arguably quite incomplete, list of the crimes she's committed and others have
committed against her that he opened his mouth. After he promised that was
everything, she told him about her little run-in with Meredith, Emily's sister,
so he tried telling her 'everything' again. This time, he blamed himself for
Emily's death. She died in a car accident and he thinks he could have saved her,
but the details are still sketchy. Rafe also made the trip to the Salem Inn to
chat with Meredith, who wasn't at all happy to see him. She's convinced that
he's the one who killed her sister. Unfortunately for Rafe, it turned out that
Stefano is the one who brought the redhead to town. He gave her a whole lot of
money and she told him the entire, hole-ridden story of Rafe's wedding day.
Stefano promised to get her justice.
His son was having a quieter week. EJ seemed
extraordinarily quiet, his stiff upper lip a definite pout as he lounged around
the mansion, talking under his breath. He and his wife had sex and then talked
about how they aren't themselves anymore. She ran around town trying to do her
usual round of damage control before learning about what happened to her friend.
Nicole turned to coma Chloe and cried at her bedside, confessing every bad deed
she's done in the last year. Brady also showed up to weep for the dying diva...
when he wasn't busy following Arianna around. They tried to clear things up
between them some more and then he followed her to the park where she was
accosted by a man. Brady beat the guy into the ground until Ari pulled him off.
She seemed pretty unphased by it. They kissed and agreed to a date later. The
bloody man crawled out of the bushes. She handed him cash and he handed her a
bag of stuff. Is she drugging the clam chowder, selling dope to Salem's teens,
or is this something else?
Poor Daniel. I don't know who I feel worse for – him, or
the guy who plays him. All of the protestations of innocence and love for Chloe
punctuated his words. It was like those two things were commas in all of his
sentences. Anyway, Kate's plan finally started to pay off for her. Chloe's big
eyes closed and Maggie opened her big mouth to the cops, helping to back up
Kate's fibs. Unfortunately, she opened her mouth a little too wide and
suspicions was cast not only on Daniel, but on Lucas as well. As Kate paced
around, urging Chloe to die under her breath, Victor arrived. He was happy to
hear that the divas was in demise but his tune changed when he figured out that
Kate was hanging his godson out to dry for it. He took a break from threatening
Kate when Lucas bumbled back into town. They broke the news to him one piece at
a time. He didn't take it well. But audiences finally got the opportunity to see
him and Daniel in fight, in a jail cell no less. Surprisingly, they kept their
shirts on for it. The doctor didn't mince any words and told him everything that
a cuckold wants to hear - like that his wife only stayed with him to keep God
happy and then his mother tried to kill her.
Then there was big news off camera. Louise Sorel and
Michael Sabatino will be returning this fall to make up the Alamain contingent.
This could be good, but I'm always skeptical about bringing back old characters.
Not only does it tend to be ratings poison, they often seem out of place when
they've been absent and unmentioned for more than a decade. I like the
characters, but this really isn't the same show anymore. There was some other
casting news as well. Salem is getting a new Arianna. Lindsay Hartley, best
known as teary eyed Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald Crane Winthrop, will be taking over
the role. I have mixed feelings about it. As much as I loved "Passions," and I
did, this seems like a little much. I've been impressed by how successfully Eric
Martsolf has managed to carve out a character who is nothing like Ethan, so I
can only hope that they don't try and return to the Ethan-Theresa dynamic.
Thankfully, so far, Ari doesn't seem remotely like Theresa, but will it last?
Anyway, now the spoilers. Look away if you don't want to
know. EJ's grieving process takes an unusual turn when he shows up in the
graveyard to replace Grace's gravestone with one bearing the DiMera name. His
paranoia continues to simmer when it comes to Nicole. As her own paranoia
continues to bubble away, Stefano tries to sabotage Rafe some more by digging
deep into the mystery of his 'murderous' wedding day. These aren't the only
people grieving in Salem. Philip gets a shock when one of his guards is killed
and then begins to grieve for him. Lucas is grieving for his dying marriage but
Daniel seems more confident than ever that when Chloe wakes up, she'll be going
home with him. He better hope that she doesn't pick up a case of amnesia,
Salem's answer to the common cold. Also optimistic – Lexi and Abe get some good
news about Theo. But the disappointment of the week will come for Will who
finally learns that mousy Mia isn't a virgin after all.
Lines of the week:
Stefano: (to Nicole) Your optimism is firing on all
cylinders. You're a joy to be around.
Sami: (to Ari) Rafe and I broke up... or something. We're
not together any more.
Victor: (to Kate) Isn't it ironic for you to be outraged
Victor: (to Kate) Your concern is
touching... and a little bit scary.
July 17, 2009
Chloe wandered around town feeling doomed. That's pretty much
how Daniel felt as well. That's how we know they really love each other. He
tried to jog his longing away but only ended up with cramps. They pushed their
way through the torture which was shooting the pilot episode of 'Heart and
Home'. After it crashed, they were determined never to see each other again.
Kate continued her diabolical plan and snuck around town planting evidence in
Daniel's apartment and buying off various goons to do her bidding. If you're
going to be paying people to do illegal stuff, why she is resorting to all the
breaking and entering herself is beyond me. I guess she has to get her kicks
somewhere and she was certainly giddy as the week progressed. As Kate licked her
lips thinking of Chloe kicking the bucket, the diva swooned and collapsed, only
to be rushed to the hospital. As she veered in and out of consciousness (it is
an unusually thin line for her) she fantasized about Daniel while the doctor
prepared to leave town. Running off is working right into Kate's scheme.
Rafe and Sami moved in together. She's still determined to
get to the bottom of what was up with Emily, the dead woman who is haunting his
life. He wants to keep his past in the past. Considering how much baggage Sami
carries, I don't know how they would have room for any of his. They barely have
room for any of his belongings either. He moved his box of odds and ends in,
though his taste in décor filled her with dread. Most of his belongings seems to
be mementos of Emily and broken kitchen equipment. As he settled in, he burned
them or hid them in the couch. But it wasn't all about trying to disappear into
Sami's sense of interior design. He also tries to mend fences between her and
Will, which went a long way.
Nicole re-convinced EJ to drop the custody suit. He was
jumpy but agreed, though finding out that Rafe was moving in with Sami and onto
his paternal turf made him seriously angry. After catching Nicole and Sami
together in the park, he sent his wife home so he could berate Sami, though he
did agree to back off and let her see Johnny. Nicole spent most of the week
worrying about what was next. Elvis could go back on his promises at any minute
and Rafe is still digging around. Stefano assured her that Mr. Hernandez
wouldn't be a problem for much longer. He's got the dirt on former FBI agent and
he's confident that it will cause some serious trouble for Sami and maybe
Melanie continued trying to play matchmaker. Brady and Ari
went bust quickly. After finding out that he was a recovering addict, she told
him that they didn't have a chance. The barrista claims that her ex was an
addict and she couldn't go through that again. Brady moped around town, bumping
into Salem's other miserable single people here and there. Melanie continued
trying and failing to distribute joy in the lives of the people who are sort of
her friends. She used an old scheme to trap Philip and Steph in the cabin to
sort out their problems. It didn't work, although it did give the show its
perfunctory shirtless Philip sequence. She left again in tears and soon wound up
crying on the shoulder of a scantily clad Nathan. Brady returned to the mansion
and took a swim. As he wandered around glistening and shirtless, he got a lot of
unwelcome advice from Victor about women. Meanwhile, Ari made a mysterious phone
A stranger showed up with candy at Ciara's birthday. He
waited until she was alone to offer it to her. He claimed that he had all sorts
of other colors too. Then he vanished. Unbeknown to Bo, his daughter has a new
Tommy Bear that she's been hiding from him. Her new 'friend' could also prove to
be a problem. He's been snooping around town for information on Hope for weeks.
And now, on to the spoilers. If you do not wish to know, look away now and enjoy
your weekend. Before Doctor Dan can leave town, a woozy Chloe makes a confession
to him. Will it be enough to keep him around? He might not have much choice
since Bo and Hope are taking him as prime suspect when it comes to Chloe's
poisoning. While Chloe dreams of Daniel and his life turns into a nightmare, EJ
dreams of Sami and they aren't the kinds of dreams a married man should be
having. Nicole is wide awake and more paranoid than ever. She dashes around town
doing her best to keep everything under check. Since Mia also seems on the verge
of a breakdown, Nicole tells Chad to back off on her. He's not the only person
who should back off either. Sami continues to dig into Rafe's past and probes
Meredith all about it. While she's headed for more chaos in the romance
department, quite a few other Salemites are already there. Stephanie and Mel
seem to be ending their brief truce and begin fighting over Philip.
Lines of the week:
Nicole: (hugging Sami) People seeing
that would think it was a sign of the apocalypse.
Victor: Any woman with half a brain
would want to get her claws into you.
Melanie: Maybe the Pope is Catholic...
oh, he is.
Rafe: Thinking isn't my strong suit.
Bo: Yeah. Maybe you and I can head over
there later and see if we can have a little action in the bouncy house.
July 3, 2009
was a short week so I'll keep things short. There was more weeping in Salem,
though it felt a bit different than it did before. A weight is gone and the
temperature in town seems to have changed. The Chloe and Daniel affair has
quickly turned into Daytime's version of "Sleeping Beauty." Kate was licking her
lips and arching her eyebrows all week as she doped up Chloe's basket of Granny
Smiths. After a few false starts, the diva ended up taking a bite. It tasted bad
so she almost threw it away. Luckily, Kate was around to convince her it was
supposed to taste that way. Chloe soon dropped to the ground. I keep expecting
them to cut away from this plot and reveal that it was just Caroline reading a
book to Allie. The big question is – does this mean Kate can turn into a dragon
at the end, or, at least, a vicious cougar?
always thought part of what made Sami so crazy was that she had to put up with
Kate for all those years. Now I think it might have been the other way around.
Sami caught Rafe in the graveyard and began grilling him about who Emily was. He
wasn't forthcoming and got defensive in a way we've rarely seen. He may be sweet
on top but there's a brooding violence underneath. If he's got dark secrets, he
better have them well hidden because Sami wasn't relenting in her snooping. This
led to them fighting and her admitting that going back on her promises and
sticking her nose where it doesn't belong is about the sum total of her
personality. All of her self-diagnosing turned him on so he promised more fights
in the future and then they had some makeup sex, after which, she started
looking through his wallet.
liked seeing Nicole bonding with Johnny. He told her that he wasn't asking her
to replace Sami, which is odd because that's basically what she's been doing. In
addition to making women pregnant nearly every time he takes off his shirt, EJ
also has the power to turn them into prodigious whiners. She's become so
empathetic to Sami that she's been smuggling little Johnny out of the mansion to
visit her. Next thing you know, she'll be smuggling Sami food as well since she
realized this week that she can't afford any. I just hope she also smuggled over
some prophylactics because Sami really doesn't need any more mouths to feed.
Nicole is coming apart at the seams and suffering a real identity crisis.
Stefano isn't helping much, even if he is offering to take an interest in Rafe,
which usually means sending incompetent hit men to try and kill him.
isn't the only miserable mob woman of course. Stephanie has also been coming
apart at the seams. She went to see Father Matt for advice. He didn't give much.
Instead, he sat there and she gave advice to herself, telling herself what she
has already told herself many times before – that she loves Philip but shouldn't
be with him. She, abruptly, dumped the dimpled mob heir. It was quick and may
have been one of the least drawn out weepy scenes in recent memory, which leads
one to wonder if this is really the end at all.
everyone was miserable of course. Melanie was as pouty as usual but she had a
plan this week. She's decided to try and set up Brady and Arianna as a way of
getting good karma. No doubt this is part of her long term goal of winning over
Nathan, who was curiously absent this week. Anyway, now onto the spoilers. If
you don't want to know, leave now and have a nice weekend. You can look forward
to more of Melanie and her sexy summer antics as the youth section of
libidinally challenged Salemites travel out to the Horton cabin for a little
cleaning and other things. It won't all be romance though. Bo advises Nathan to
stay far away from Melanie and Chad informs Will that he is Mia's boyfriend.
Meanwhile, Chloe falls into Daniel's arms and is rushed to the hospital. While
she's getting her stomach pumped, Sami is asking Rafe to move in with her. But
will it work without the danger they had haunting them in the safe house. He
still has plenty of secrets he's hiding from her which could cause problems.
Across town, Nicole is keeping her secret alliance with Sami from EJ and
starting to fall apart under the pressure of being a DiMera wife. All the while,
Philip and his father are left arguing about how things went wrong with
Lines of the week:
Arianna: I appreciate what you're trying to do... aside from the creepy stalker
Brady: Why do I feel like you're Tom
Sawyer getting me to paint the fence?
Stephanie: With all your wealth, there
is one thing you can't give me: Peace of mind.
June 19, 2009
the grimness of the past few weeks, things got marginally lighter on the show.
Thankfully, the show is still managing to keep a fair degree of continuity, even
when that doesn't mean that every second scene is someone crying. The break in
the tension was largely thanks to melodramatic Melanie. Max has decided to ditch
town and go with Chelsea to London. His sister was not pleased and pouted around
town before deciding to take him up on his offer to move in with he and Chelsea…
and then came Nathan. Salem has yet another Horton in its orbit. It's been
awhile since a new member of the clan popped his head in. The last few didn't
fare so well either. Jeremy, while easy on the eyes, was hard on everything else
and things barely went well for Nick. Will the vain and sarcastic medical intern
turn out to be a weird hybrid of those two departed characters? He obviously has
a brain, as well as a lot of attitude and a propensity for taking his
shirt off. Time will tell. Anyway, he's moved in with the three Ms, Mel,
Maggie and Mia, which could lead to all sorts of shenanigans...
...find the rest of Matt's Musings
for this week on
June 5, 2009
was kind of a curious week. After lots of consistency, and consistent build up,
there was a small explosion and then things seemed to turn back to where they
were before this entire Kiriakis-DiMera war began. Philip was zipped into a body
bag and smuggled into the morgue with Melanie's help. He managed to kick his way
out of the body drawer with his special shock-absorbing legs and struggle with
Owen before beating him to a pulp. The kidnapping story abruptly (although I may
kick myself for saying that) came to a close, but what was gained in all of
this? We were teased with the various possibilities of a new character. The
loopy, and buff, gardener Owen certainly had some possibilities, added to by his
clearly difficult and angst filled relationship with his father. They were a
couple of characters who could have fit well into the canvas of eccentric and
incompetent creeps in Salem and added a lot of macabre and darkly humorous
details to the show. Unfortunately, and bafflingly, it looks like they're gone.
the kidnapping faded away, the baby switching returned to prominence. I don't
know, maybe all of this body switching, body bartering, half dead bodies and
living bodies in the drawers for the dead has some symbolic significance I'm not
aware of. Then again, Dena Higley is not James E. Reilly. The knot this story is
tied in may soon unravel though. Baby Grace wound up in the hospital this week
and Daniel was desperate to get some information on her biological parents so he
can treat her bacterial meningitis. Sami decided it's finally time to come
clean. Unfortunately, the truth as she understands it, isn't exactly true.
Nicole stood on the sidelines to fret. She watched the sight of EJ comforting
Sami with hardly a word and then went down to the chapel to pray for God's help.
She isn't Chloe so God didn't offer her anything; instead, she got Stefano. He
confronted her about the entire scam. He knows everything, but he doesn't want
to lose the baby any more than she does so he wants to keep her secret.
Strangely enough, she and Mia teamed up to let the cat out of the bag together.
They went to see nurse Maxine and informed her that Mia is the mother of the
seriously ill child.
were treated to a few fantasy sequences from Chloe and Daniel. He had his shirt
off a lot and tried to suppress his desires for her. No more writhing around in
his underwear like last week, this time he was in the shower. Meanwhile, she
fantasized about telling Lucas the truth. The first time around, he didn't care.
The second time, he did. Chloe seems to be having some serious issues with
reality these days, although I guess she always has. Kate popped up to tell her
that all is forgiven and the diva swallowed it without thinking. Of course, Kate
really is not the forgiving sort. Chloe isn't the only one having a hard time
with reality either. Stephanie seems to be turning more delusional by the day.
Considering the stuff she's been through, that makes perfect sense. Only a few
weeks ago she was dumping Philip because she thought his lifestyle was too
dangerous, not she's marrying him and assuring Roman that he'll keep her safe
and she was wants the dark life. There is something really missing there. I also
consistently have the nagging suspicion that something is seriously askew with
Rafe. He enthusiastically filled out reams of paperwork this week to get the
adoption underway. After much Sami sex, he bumped into his sister and she warned
him that "it" is happening again.
interesting development for the week was that we were treated to a glance into
Brady's past. Trapped in the mausoleum, he was surrounded by the ghosts of his
family and showed a bit of pathos. The way he kept staring at his mother's grave
hinted that something from his past could be coming back. How? I have no idea.
Meanwhile, Melanie provided the comic relief while he tried to act like
MacGyver. He even borrowed her bra wire to try and rig up some cell phone
reception. Bo and Hope tracked them down by screaming and then opened the
massive vault door with a credit card. In other Melanie news, it looks like she
is about to get a new house mate at big Red's. Following her cousin moving away,
Mia has been left homeless. In spite of harangues from his father about getting
involved with a former addict, Will decided to ignore that former addicts advice
and move Mia into the home of another former addict, Maggie. Now the three Ms
can spend their time re-enacting scenes from "The Facts of Life" Salem style.
now on to the spoilers. Look away if you don't want to know. It's time to break
out the 'bon voyage' banners for Max and Chelsea. She'll be returning to say
goodbye. She's decided to make a life for herself in England. Since Uncle Max
has realized that he doesn't have much of a life in Salem, it looks like he will
be departing as well. Luckily for him, there are Irish pubs almost everywhere in
the world. Meanwhile, former Euro-trash and now reformed good guy, Brady, gets
invited back into the bosom of the Kiriakis family. Will he be running into
Victor's open arms, or is he having another of his moral dilemmas? His ex-wife
is having a dilemma of her own. She still doesn't know what to tell Lucas, but
it looks like he actually has a secret to tell her. At least she'll be telling
herself the truth – that she still loves Daniel. Not to be outdone, Sami comes
out and tells EJ the truth about the baby, no doubt complicating things for both
Stefano and Nicole.
Lines of the week:
Stephanie: This is nice without you getting shot.
Philip: That always helps improve my day too.
Sami: What? You don't want her to have
Nicole: That makes me all warm and runny inside.
May 22, 2009
This week picked up where the last left off. The momentum has been
good, which is odd since so little actually happened. For the most part:
Stephanie was captive and repeatedly went nowhere and the Kiriakis and DiMeras
kept wondering what would happen next. The real action of the week, aside from
Owen and Stephanie knocking each other around like a pair of cross-dressers on
absinthe, was Sami and Rafe's bedroom romp, complete with candles. They didn't
have any Kenny G. records, so they just amped up the baby monitor. With few
distractions, everything has focused on the kidnapping and on the Sami-Rafe (or
Rafi, as I like to call them) romance. It's an interesting juxtaposition. The
kidnapping played out like a nightmare, the romance like a fantasy, allowing for
an odd emotional balance.
Philip and EJ continue set themselves up as rivals, ironic
since little over a month ago Tony was configuring himself as a sort of double
to both of them. It's almost as if his death spawned their change in
personalities. Both crime family heirs are now haunted by the heir who never
really came to power. Each man has entered into a duel of styles with their
father while they attempt to find themselves. Strangely, Philip's hot temper and
penchant for outbursts seems reminiscent of Stefano's ruling style while EJ's
cold and calculated viciousness is far closer to Victor's. But, aside from the
psychodynamic which they have going on, Philip and EJ have both been delicious.
It's also interesting to look at how the full blown mob story has actually
played out in comparison to the fantasy one which preceded it a few months ago.
For those who don't recall, Nicole had an elaborate black and white film noise
fantasy that spanned several episodes. It seemed utterly superfluous at the time
but in retrospect it's actually more interesting. The 'real' thing is remarkably
different from the smooth-talking, snappily dressed imaginary one. Instead of
everyone being conniving, everyone is distraught and off their game. Everything
is being bungled all the time. Most of those involved seem to have no idea what
they are doing. Even Victor seemed to come to the realization this week that the
whole thing is less a game than a chaotic series of events with little real
logic, fueled by the ghosts of the past and minimal capacity to see what's right
in front of them (such as Owen).
Owen has proven to be another intriguing addition to the
odd characters that the show sporadically invents. There are a few distinct
types of criminals on the show – those who have large, often quite crazy plans,
like Stefano, and those who just seem to bumble around behind the scenes,
occasionally spilling into sight and embarrassing their masters. The former see
themselves as grand tragic figures, the latter simply as people, though they
often come off as clowns. The late DiMera henchman Bart would be an ideal
example, though there are plenty of others. Owen falls into the same mold. He's
an odd character, and not just because he's been forced into a situation which
is completely abnormal for him; he'd still be odd if he was just a gardener.
Whether he's simply extraordinarily naïve or has some kind of mental illness,
it's far from clear. What is really interesting about the kidnapping story, to
me anyway, isn't so much how Stephanie will react through the ordeal, since that
likely won't hold many surprises, but what this will mean for Owen's character
and how this will turn out. After all, he seems like a completely doomed person
at this point. Neither family will want him alive after this, and it's doubtful
any of the other townspeople would want him around either, so what will happen?
Another intriguing development this week was Arianna and
Brady's flirtation. Was it forced? Kind of, but it was cute and they both pulled
out interesting angles of each other's personalities. She's new and still an
enigma, but he has a history and remains somewhat enigmatic. Like a lot of
people, I'm dying for Brady to really get a plot of his own. He also flirted a
little with Melanie, who wandered around the periphery of things, bickering with
one of Philip's bodyguards and thinking about selling Stephanie's giant gold
earring. It looks like next week might end up being rather different than this
one. Spoilers to follow... please avert your gaze if you don't want to know.
Stephanie continues to channel her old feistiness and fights back between pouts
and bouts of unconsciousness. Although she uses all of her womanly charms to try
and distract the easily distracted Owen, she still winds up winded and finds it
impossible to breathe. Meanwhile, Daniel and Chloe have been taking a breather
from their mutual obsession but it looks like they could finally be coming back
for more. They'll be panting, if not pantsless, again next week. The diva will
even admit that she's not exactly happy living cooped up in the cabin with
Lucas. Kate gets a glimpse of them together again. Will she keep her mouth shut
this time? She might not have to since Lucas memories of the night he discovered
the affair, before being blown up and saved by God, are starting to percolate
back into his brain. Across town, Nicole stops worrying about EJ and goes back
to worrying about herself when she discovers that Mia and Will are now getting a
little too close for her comfort.
Lines of the Week:
Victor: I'm still in charge of this family. My men won't let you near Stefano.
Philip: I have my own men. I'll get my men to go up against your men.
Philip: Thinking like that gets people
Sami: Did you just say smokin' hot pain
in the ass?
Rafe: Yeah, but I meant it as a compliment. I cherish every inch of you.
Brady: Thanks for the grievous bodily
Stefano: The man you work for is an
amoral swine. You could do better.
Nurse: Not in this job market.
Melanie: It's Stephanie's. Who else
wears earrings the size of a tennis racket?
Arianna: (to Brady) I don't give a damn
about your money or your looks. I don't care if you have something huge packed
away in your pants.
May 8, 2009
It was a week of romance, goodbyes and mob violence in Salem.
and Rafe bumped into Nicole at the Java Cafe. Insults ensued. Then the couple
went to the fair with the kids. Turning up the romantic gestures, he asked her
out to the forbidden woods on the bad side of town to have a nighttime picnic by
the polluted river. Shocked by the newfound knowledge that fish splash when they
are in the water, Sami slipped and fell. Rafe fished her out and then managed to
use one of the standard soap opera sex techniques – getting naked to avoid
freezing. Philip did this with Chloe after the jet crash. As Luis, Galen Gering
did it on "Passions" at least once to save Sheridan and she tried to do it right
back to him. Anyway, their naked picnic party was interrupted by a roving cop.
Since he liked the look of them, he gave them a break. They went back to her
place to fret over Grace and they made out some more, then played Scrabble and
made out again.
has left town. Max could hardly say goodbye. Bo and his daughter shared a nice
hug. Hope and Chelsea said their tear laced farewells. She even said goodbye to
Theo. Chelsea didn't say much of a goodbye to her grandmother though. Of course,
Kate was a little busy this week. She finally confronted Daniel about his affair
with Chloe. After months, and after deciding that she wouldn't bother with
revenge, she decided it was time to stick the knife in just a little. The doctor
was nonchalant and didn't show any signs of feeling guilty. Instead, he tried to
make Kate feel guilty for turning on the woman who saved her life. Kate abruptly
turned around and confronted Chloe, firing her right in front of Lucas. She fed
him some excuses and he swallowed. Meanwhile, his son, Will, was being fed some
lies as well. Will and Mia ran into one of her old friends, some "Gossip Girl"
reject named Kenzie, who gabbed all about Mia's past, suggesting that she was a
meth addicted bulimic. Will found this hard to believe but, not wanting to tell
him the truth, Mia went along with the lie. Pouting followed.
had his shirt back on this week while Steph mollycoddled him. His father slipped
in sporadically to say that their plan were going ahead. Steph would bicker with
Victor, then with Philip. This was interrupted by another assassin. This time a
woman dressed as a nurse attempted to kill Philip with a pillow. That flunked
and she was arrested, but Hope remained clueless. Brady dropped by to lecture
his family on the perils of violence. Philip and Stephanie then went home and
bickered some more. He managed to pacify her by asking her to move in and then
dropping to his good knee. "Stephanie Johnson. You are
beautiful, witty, wise..." he said before popping the question. She agreed, but
with that kind of spin, what else was she going to say? While Stephanie
starts down the road to becoming Salem's next mob wife, maybe she should stop
and ask Nicole how it's going for her.
worried about the fact that EJ and Stefano are investigating Dr. Baker. All that
they found was that he was a gambler but Elvis assumed he was working for the
Kiriakis clan. Nicole tried convincing him to drop it. He coldly told her he
would and then didn't. While he went off to deal with Victor, discovering that
old man Kiriakis had abducted Stefano, she panicked all week and ran around like
a chicken with her head cut off. Baker refuses to take her worries seriously.
She offered to take him upstairs and pay him off. As they argued about cash, he
fell down the stairs. She ended up giving the good doctor mouth to mouth and
saving his life, but the doctor's doctor wondered if the doctor might now have
memory problems. Maybe... but when she went to see him at the hospital, he
accused her of trying to kill him.
show has continued to be strong and has been embracing its more volcanic side
lately. As things have become more focused over the past few months, one is left
wondering why they were so messy in the past. Could it have been that they had
to cut so many veteran characters, not just for budgetary reasons, but just to
get a little focus back into things? It certainly feels that way. They've also
abandoned, or at least crystallized the reformation of, a few other things.
Ejami are no more. Even if the two characters admitted, more openly than ever,
what their feelings may have been for each other, there's clearly nothing much
there. Instead, there are three couples. Rafe and Sami, EJ and Nicole and EJ and
Stefano. EJ and Stefano, I would argue, were always the real couple behind Ejami
and Sami was just the confusing surrogate for his love for his father. But now
that his father knows how much he loves him, the love is coming out in a
different way. Before it was through sexual blackmail, organ stealing and a
baby, now it's a gang war. James Scott continues to prove that he's actually
remarkably good at being cold, brutal and vicious. He's managed to be genuinely
disturbing to watch, displaying a naked psychopathic streak which couldn't be
more foreign to Stefano's operatic swagger.
question many may have been asking by the end of the week was: Who designs the
stairs in Salem? I guess this is what happens when everything is done by mob
contract. I'm not sure what it means when carpenters end up accidentally killing
people with more efficiency than professional killers. Tony and Ford Decker died
falling down the stairs, Theo got close – now they just need to start making
people slip in the shower. That could be Sami and Rafe's next date.
And now... the spoilers. Stephanie and Philip won't be
enjoying their new engagement for very long. Not long after he's popped the
question, Melanie hears about it and starts to pout. Perhaps more worrying, the
gardener drugs and kidnaps the bride-to-be and carries her off. This could give
EJ the bargaining chip he needs. Although Junior's been calling in favors and
trying to get his own team of talented goons together (it's not easy with the
recession and all of the out-sourcing), he's still arse over face when it comes
to negotiating with Victor, who is now demanding that he sign over everything.
Meanwhile, Bo has another vision. Since Chelsea is gone, his unconscious must be
refocusing on his frequently forgotten other spawn, Ciara. And adding to the
complications in Salem, Rafe's sister, Arianna, starts to get in the way of him
and Sami because she thinks that little blondie is trouble.
Lines of the Week:
Stephanie: I've been a potential casualty ever since I fell
in love with you.
Philip: It's hard to reason from
underneath a pillow.
Kenzie: It's not gossip. I'm 95 percent sure.
Will: You're 95 percent bitch.
Nicole: They will find out and they will
hand you a shovel so you can dig your own grave.
April 24, 2009
was a steady, active week so my thoughts are kind of all over the place. Please
bear with me -- I haven't had enough coffee yet. This week gave everyone plenty
of excitement... or at least it had its male leads take off their shirts even
more than usual. After months of speculation, Eric Martsolf (Brady Black),
famous for his near perpetual semi-nudity on "Passions," actually took off his
shirt. It wasn't purely gratuitous either, which is, arguably, a good thing.
Melanie found him at Salem's favorite meeting place, the pier. Tony's blood had
barely dried on its crusty fish gut covered surface when the DiMeras decided to
shed a little Kiriakis blood in revenge. Since Brady is on Elvis' bad side, a
thug was sent out to pound on him after he nearly interrupted EJ and Nicole's
wedding. Melanie used her recently acquired capacity for compassion to help him
over to the hospital where she disinfected his muscular torso and tried to be
charming, perhaps to make up for that rather abrupt kiss she disturbed him with
the other day. He was remarkably calm and Zen about the whole thing and remained
so as the week unfurled.
had his shirt off pretty much all week. There's been a lot of suggestions that
he's magically gotten back the body parts he left in Iraq. He's certainly moving
a lot more nimbly. But his new body parts and his bare chest only gave the
DiMera's hit man an easier target. He and Stephanie finally made love this
week... several times for good measure, but this left him vulnerable in more
ways than one. After professional killer, Signor Masi, the man with a face made
for mug shots, earned his money and put a new hole in "billionaire
playboy Philip Kiriakis," he was ready to give the world a freebie and put a
bullet in Steph too. The maintenance guys walked in while she was screaming and
Masi ran off. Philip was rushed to the hospital. His family arrived to pace,
pray and worry. Of course, Daniel was the only surgeon in Salem with the
wherewithal to save his life, leading to many awkward moments between him and
the family he can't keep his medical instruments out of. Kate was against it and
then changed her tune. She seems to have suddenly found religion, or something
close to it. She isn't talking to God the way that Chloe was, but she is
promising not to seek vengeance anymore... not against the doctor and the diva
anyway. Considering the wallop she gave Stefano, he could be on her list now.
Meanwhile, Victor was his old self. Watching him spit out insults and threats is
always fun. He also had the chance to be warm with his son after Philip
recovered from a close call with death.
escaped his usual duty of gratuitously revealing his chest this week. Instead,
he hummed and hawed and hung out at the Salem airport until Sami came to collect
him. She spent the first half of the week humming and hawing at at the wedding.
She sped over but her car broke down. She asked Max to fix it and he noticed her
baby was sick. She said she would take her to the hospital instead of breaking
up the wedding but then took her to break up the wedding with her. It didn't
work. Although she disrupted it, after hearing about Philip's dangerous
misadventure with room service, she decided that staying away from the DiMeras
was a good idea. She and Junior talked about how they used to love each other
(which really isn't as straightforward as they left it last time they had that
conversation) and then she flounced off. Mia also showed up to almost ruin the
wedding. Dr. Baker stopped her but his explanations weren't quite enough. She
had to see her baby one last time. Nicole let her but mother and baby didn't
click. Dr. Baker popped up again and offered to explain why the maternal bond
wasn't all about men's chiseled abs though, with or without wounds. Poor EJ. He
barely even had a bachelor party. It was just him and his father having liqueurs
and planning to kill people. I guess if you're marrying a former porn star that
makes a perverse kind of sense though. Nicole and EJ had the briefest and most
perfunctory wedding nights in memory. That was only after having a wedding
ceremony that spanned several episodes. The Oxford educated mafioso wrote his
own vows, telling Nicole that he couldn't resist her in her orange jumpsuit and
then they went through many sacraments and blessings. I guess they needed extra
Anyway, here comes a peak into
next week... The Salem PD decides to do things right and by the book when
they're investigating Philip's shooting, but since they've had so many cutbacks,
they just send Hope to take care of things instead. Will she notice that Stefano
isn't his usual bright and clear eyed self? Is that because he thinks he's being
poisoned, or is it because he has diabetes? That's what Lexi will be unraveling
for her increasingly addle-brained papa. While he continues trying to wipe out
his enemies, Sami continues trying to hide the truth about her baby, or, at
least, what she thinks is the truth. Unfortunately for her, it looks like
someone else may be hiding something as well. It isn't EJ or Nicole either, it's
Rafe. Sami catches him telling another woman that he loves her. Meanwhile, Brady
is insisting to Chloe that he doesn't love Nicole but she should probably be
more worried that Kate is confronting Daniel about the affair. Maybe she doesn't
want any trouble though? After all, her family already has plenty. Just to add
to it, Billie is in a serious accident in London and Chelsea leaves to see her.
Lines of the Week:
Stefano: Shot but not dead. That is the problem.
Nicole: You mean I can't go
anywhere without a creepy thug?
Mia: I babysat this other
baby. I felt more connected to her than my own baby.
Nicole: If Phillip is dead, I
guess there won't be a party. I wonder what your daddy is doing that is more
important than out wedding.
We don't want it to look like
we're dancing on Phillip's grave.
Victor: What happened to you?
You look like you got put through a meat grinder. Did a DiMera thug do this?
Face the facts. Get some spine or leave me alone. Today the DiMeras tried to
kill my son and beat up my grandson!
Melanie: What if you're not
handsome anymore like Mickey Rourke or something?
April 10, 2009
is dead and the aftermath lingers. Philip was so sad about it even his hair
seemed to pout. His father kicked him to the curb. He was so lost that he let
Stephanie lead him home to her new apartment. They made out. She took off his
shirt. They tried making out on different pieces of furniture. He perked up a
little, in spite of the frightening blouse she was wearing. It's hard to run
away when you only have one leg. Victor interrupted and apologized. Both men
know they're jerks most of the time. Philip decided to go back to the family.
Steph threw a fit and broke up with Philly. He didn't blink and even pointed out
how often she dumps him. After he went home, she ran after him and told him that
she still wants him. He seemed distracted. She went out, thanked God and then
went home and told Chelsea and
Max all about her day. Max acted jealous. Chelsea is not
amused to see that he still cares about his niece/former flame. It's not clear
what Chelsea sees in him either. They spent the week making out and arguing
about how to assemble cheap furniture, at least, when they weren't giving EJ
advice about grieving.
was miserable all week. Surprisingly, he didn't pout. Instead, he growled and
groaned and grimaced. Sometimes he yelled, but when he wasn't doing that, he was
vowing revenge. His father wept and vowed revenge. In either accent, it rings
the same way. It's been really delightful to see Elvis return to form. He's not
the pushover he was for Nicole and he's not the noxious Hugh Grant reject who
was with Sami. Now he's just nasty, mean, irrational and cold. He's smart enough
to realize the absurdity of his situation and the futility of this spiraling war
with the Kiriakis family and everyone else, but he seems to be following in his
father's footsteps. But isn't this because of his vulnerability, so often masked
by his casual arrogance? There's doom in Elvis' eyes. Tony was one of the few
people who actually understood him and Tony died trying to do what Elvis must
have recently been tempted to do – betray his father and go out on his own. As
with everything else, he's so repressed he could hardly admit that to himself,
but he did admit that he was slightly happy with his brother's downfall, a slip
that now seems to have sent him into a guilt ridden mode of grieving.
Nicole's marriage plans are a train wreck. Elvis doesn't
seem to care if the marriage goes ahead or not. When he's not giving her the
cold shoulder, she's crying on Brady's. Even he is starting to feel the strain
of trying to be her conscience. Her life only gets worse. Dr. Baker's job offer
out of town fell through so he's returned to Salem, America's refuge for
unethical physicians. And, of course, Mia has been bumbling around town,
befriending Will and, unwittingly, becoming the babysitter-in-waiting to her own
showed up at the mansion to talk about what was good for her children. She
didn't come clean with EJ but was tempted. After seeing the way that he's been
treating Nicole, when she's actually done something honest, Sami finally pulled
up her cleavage and walked away. She went to Caroline to talk about her
problems. Caroline didn't exactly tell her anything she wanted to hear.
Meanwhile, Rafe stood around, trying to scope out the situation, get information
from the sarcastic lips of Will and hurl half-baked ultimatums at Sami. They're
getting closer, but how well can things work when you get most of your
relationship advice from nuns? Rafe is obviously hiding some skeletons in his
closet. Maybe the priest version of John Black had to perform an exorcism on him
when he was a troubled teen.
One nice thing to see lately has been the increased use of
ludicrous fantasy sequences. Kate's been dishing out gruesome scenarios for
Chloe's death and Nicole's been having wedding nightmares. I know they are
tacky, but that's part of what makes them fun. While most of the week was
actually well-measured and consistent, there were a few things which were simply
painful. Maggie playing matchmaker for Daniel comes to mind. I actually felt bad
for the guy. He already has to watch Lucas and Chloe make goo-goo eyes all the
time. I'm not in love with her and the spectacle is still gag inducing for me.
Now that Melanie is working at the hospital and checking him out, he could be in
for even more trouble. But the most painful thing of the week was the blouse
that Stephanie wore. I literally had to keep looking away from the screen. What
was the purpose of this inordinate level of torture?
on to the spoilers... We'll find out if Mia is as naïve and innocent as she
seems to be as her old friends start crawling out of the woodwork. Max's
intelligence starts to reappear and he is using it to apply for med school.
She's already had one doomed relationship with a medical man so how will Chelsea
feel about that? She might have more to worry about when the pub gets a sexy new
waitress. Meanwhile, after spending a day with shirtless Philip this week,
Stephanie finally gets to find out what's going on downstairs. While their two
bodies get better acquainted, Hope and Roman's do likewise, but all may not be
as it seems. Bo's vision of them in a motel room may be coming true, but it
turns out that they are there on a stakeout. Across town, Brady is staking out
the wedding and trying to stop Nicole from lurching further into disaster. Just
to make things worse, Mia starts asking for her kid back.
Lines of the week:
Brady: No more self flagellation. Just tell me what happened.
Kate: Daniel gets around... Think of him as the gift that
keeps on giving. I am not a stranger to his bedside manner.
Lucas: We were thinking...
Kate: That was your first mistake.
Maggie: Do not confuse the Hippocratic oath with celibacy
Stephanie: Hey God, sorry I haven't been here in a while.
March 27, 2009
spite of the dreary fact that Thaao Penghlis (Tony DiMera) is departing from the
show, "Days" has felt stronger in the past few weeks than it has in a long time.
Though the week was not exactly action packed, the actions it did contain were
filled with an unusual sense of determination. It wasn't that the week flowed
all that differently: It was still a series of delayed and repeated actions.
Kate flew back from Vegas with Lucas and Chloe. She repeatedly fantasized about
killing her new daughter-in-law. At least watching her kill Chloe was less
torturous than watching Chloe tongue wrestle with Lucas. Kate showed up at the
hospital to rub the elopement in Daniel's face and scope the place out for
dangerous drugs. A nurse with a big mouth told her everything she needs to know.
This will no doubt be complicated by the fact that Chloe suddenly noticed she's
Chelsea decided to move out of Bo's since he feels
awkward that she is sleeping with his brother. She's going to move in with
Stephanie, which is also awkward since she used to sleep with Uncle Max as well.
And if all of this familial awkwardness weren't enough, Bo also came to the
realization that it is his other brother, Roman, who has been haunting his
visions of Hope's infidelity. Despite Hope's many protests that she would never,
ever, ever be unfaithful, he still can't shake the certainty that this vision is
about to come true. It horrifies him so much that he's practically begun
hibernating. Hope can't even get him to open up with promises of a hot date. Now
we only need to find out how the dirty deed will come about. It's an intriguing
twist on things to show the conclusion and then walk through the events that
lead up to it. It's just unfortunate that Bo's mental processes are mostly
illustrated through the rate of his facial hair growth rather than more
intricate character development.
Another character who could use some more development
also had a busy week. Brady was being pulled between the Kiriakis family and
Nicole just as much as usual. I guess that's enough to keep anyone in shape. His
motives don't shift much. He wants to be good. But he's in Salem so it's not
that easy and even he knows it's pretty boring. Despite that, he's actually come
to be an important character and his presence on the show has made a positive,
if subtle, difference. He's always drifting around, pulled into everyone's
problems and relationships but never really involved. Brady has become what the
town rarely seemed to have: A conscience, albeit a flawed one. And, as a
"Passions" fan, it's nice to see that Eric Martsolf can play someone who isn't a
total dim wit. He can provide a casual likability to his scenes with Daniel and
give Nicole's selfishness more of a context. It was also nice to see him
interact with Galen Gering again this week, though it was brief.
Rafe is sticking around town for Sami's sake. She spent
the first half of the week flying off at the DiMeras. After breaking the news
that she was "adopting" another child, Elvis doubted how much she cared about
her children if she's bringing more in. She slapped him for that and then
flounced away, telling EJ that she never wanted to speak to him again unless it
involved their son. We all know that won't last, but it was a nice thought. She
pouted around town until she bumped into Rafe. Since she refuses to listen to
his advice, he tried to give her the silent treatment. That didn't last. She ran
after him. They kissed and kissed and then ran over to the convent to pick up
the baby... Okay, I give in. As much as I can't stand Sami, I have to admit that
she seemed genuinely cute and sweet in her scenes with Rafe, at least when she
wasn't talking. Now she wants to know about his past. The only thing we've been
told so far is that it's tragic. That's so vague I don't want to speculate.
The real highlight of the week, however, was watching
Philip and Tony kick off at each other. They set the confrontation up rather
crudely by having the two alienated heirs of Salem's big crime families discuss
how similar they are. While that's certainly true, it's a complex relationship
that could have benefited from being extended over time and illustrated with
more events rather than simply Tony's sage quips. That said, it was still nice
to watch the two actors working at what they do best: Intense verbal sparring
and sarcasm. But it wasn't long until the physical aspect overcame that. Tony
and Philip struggled at the pier and Tony wound up falling onto a stake below. I
guess that makes sense since he's felt more like a character who wandered in off
the set of "Dark Shadows" lately than he has like his old self. He hasn't taken
his final breath yet. Nicole showed up at his hospital bed and he flashed her
the evil eye. She had a crummy week all around. After her plan to steal the
blueprints with Brady's help failed, she was stuck in a loop with Mia. One woman
saying she was doomed, the other saying that she was sorry.
And now, onto the spoilers. Look away if you don't want
to know. Tony clings to life for a little while, just long enough to scribble a
note for his younger brother. Is he outing Nicole, or will this just be another
piece in his revenge on his sibling? Whatever he ends up writing, that same week
Elvis will agree to call off the wedding. Meanwhile, adding to the misery in
Casa DiMera, Anna shows up to give Stefano a slap around. Across town, Kate
plans to add to everyone's misery by asking Chloe to host a talk show. But while
she pushes the self-conscious diva into the limelight with one hand and fills
her other hand with poison, Bo has his hands full trying to keep Hope and Roman
apart. Adding to chaos in the Brady family, Sami shows Grace around and Lucas
begins asking some awkward questions.
Lines of the Week:
Lucas: I think things really
worked out well with us eloping. I'm sorry my mom missed the ceremony, though.
Daniel: Yeah, she was looking forward to a big
affair... uh, I mean event.
March 13, 2009
week began with a sizable event before slowing to a crawl. Circuitously, EJ
managed to have a worm implanted in Titan's computer system. It abruptly erased
all of the data, much to Philip's chagrin. He instantly knew that EJ was behind
it and decided it was high time that he killed him. Before that could happen,
Philip vanished until Friday to make airtime for everything else... like Chelsea
dumping Max. She found out he wanted children (at some point before he dies) so
she decided their relationship was impossible. She was so desperate, she even
went to Dr. Dan and begged him to operate on her so she could have some false
hope. He doesn't perform operations that are quite that dangerous, so she moped
back to Max to explain it was over. He didn't understand and it isn't over.
Meanwhile, Max's brother was
having emotional issues of his own, and this week they weren't about his brother
sleeping with his daughter. Once again they were about Hope and he is getting
pretty jealous. Then again, she's been confiding in Dr. Sex and being friendly
with Salem's newest tall dark and handsome man, Rafe. Could either of these men
be the man he sees in his visions of his wife? Maybe, or perhaps it's someone
much closer to home... He was uncomfortable enough that he told Roman to put the
kibosh on hiring Rafe to work at the Salem PD. He and Roman both liked him
because he doesn't know how to obey the law and they already have a 'secret
fund' to pay him with, but Bo was still too worried.
ran around town trying to get Rafe a job. He didn't appreciate it, but they had
a lot of moments together talking about how important they are to each other.
She only made up one 'Agent ___' nickname for him this week, which is something
of a record. Now that she's out in the fresh air - relatively speaking, since
she seems to spend her time hanging out at the pier, y'know, the place where
bodies wash up - she's suddenly hatched an idea to try and adopt Grace with
Rafe's help. She worried about not being around for Grace, but couldn't help
admitting to Will that she isn't around for him even when he is standing right
there. Will already assumes that Rafe's her new boy toy. Actually, he seemed to
assume a lot of things and cover it over with sarcasm. He gets that from his
father, but with Will it's more out of bitterness than self-loathing. The young
Horton/Roberts even had a conversation with Chloe. She tried to confide in him
so she could get him to speak sympathetically about her to Lucas. He pretended
to be interested, and then told her that he was only pretending, and she could
barely tell the difference. While Chloe prayed a lot less this week, she talked
to herself a great deal more. I guess that's what happens when you've been
living with Lucas (Sami seems to have the same affliction). Or maybe it just
happens when you live in Salem, after all, Nicole does it all the time too.
Across town, Daniel started
talking to God and looking for signs. He lit candles and everything. It didn't
take long for him to become Salem's latest sage and he rolled around town
drinking and doling out advice, encouraging Lucas to run off and elope with
Chloe (God told him to say that). Meanwhile, Kate made a thankful return to
form. She would have been licking her lips if she wasn't busy using them to
manipulate Chloe and Daniel all week. She made a pass at the doctor and tried to
turn him to do her dirty work. He walked away and she decided she'd have to do
things all alone. She hunted after the fractious couple only to discover Will.
He told her that they'd already flown off to Vegas, although the plane is
actually on delay.
and EJ had a blissful Thursday. It went from lingerie and a suit to instant
nudity. He didn't even notice that she hadn't popped out a kid recently. You'd
think when his other romances were Sami and Kate, he'd have a clue about the
difference. Fans of the couple were cheated out of the usual softcore footage;
not even much of a gratuitously shirtless EJ, just his back. They cooed about
their love until he passed out and Philip called to start threatening her again.
He returned to exactly where he left off on Friday, but the momentum was sadly
lost by that point. Nicole turned to Brady in a panic again. He spent most of
the week comforting Melanie before turning on her, and revealing a little more
of the intriguing personality he always seems to hide under a veneer of
self-help rhetoric. Spoilers to follow. All those who wish to avoid them should
know look away.
Next week, Brady will cast
aside his nice guy routine and start to verge on dangerous. Sick of the string
of threats and innuendo flowing out of Philip's mouth, he threatens to shut him
up. Philip already has other fish to fry though. In addition to raging at EJ and
Nicole, he now has Tony to take his tantrums out on. Tony stops lurking and
comes out to fight. This is likely to lead to some deadly consequences. Not only
will he be fighting with Philip, he'll also be holding his own against Nicole.
He knows what she's been up to and isn't afraid to use it against her. Her
problems could quickly double since Stefano will continue to dig into what the
very unholy woman has been doing hanging out in convents. It doesn't help that
she talks to herself in public either. Talking loudly and unwisely is a talent
shared by many Salemites, though few do it quite as well as Sami. It could come
back to bite her next week when EJ hears her talking about Grace. While that
might infuriate him, Kate has already run out of town, thoroughly infuriated, in
a bid to chase down Lucas and Chloe and stop the marriage. Daniel is left behind
in Salem, but his wandering hands will quickly find their way to Hope. Is he
just comforting her, or is this part of Bo's vision?
Lines of the week:
Say ta-ta to your Euro-trash lover boy, because I'm gonna tell him everything I
know about your sleazy affair with Brady.
Chloe: You almost died.
Lucas: That's a reason to get insurance, not married.
Daniel: I really got to know
part of Chloe when she was my patient.
February 27, 2009
At least the week started off well... After last week's string of
strong shows, the first few episodes of this week were still fun. Why? Strangely
enough, it was because everyone was angry, jealous and confused. Monday even
gave us a literal explosion. So what was all the feuding and finagling about?
The same things as usual. Lucas does and doesn't want Chloe. Chloe wants Lucas
and Daniel. Nicole wants EJ but threatens to leave. Philip wants Steph and Mel
and her project. Victor's a grouch. Sami and Nicole are compulsive liars. EJ now
yells more often than he blinks. The show also, and I could be wrong about this,
seemed to hit a new record for how many times they could squeeze the word
'bitch' into the dialogue this week.
We've been catching glimpses on EJ's darker side
lately. This week, it exploded. Of course, underneath his 'cordiality', Elvis
has always been a nasty nelly and he's so much more fun when he lets it show.
Watching him battling with Melanie was a delight. They clearly come across as
two people from radically different worlds and the contrast, and their
convoluted dialogue, is always amusing. Of course, Philip isn't amused by it and
still tried to use his powers of seduction to get her to renege on her
flirtations with the DiMeras. This blew up in his face so he had to do something
more desperate. He spotted Nicole with Brady together and proceeded to blackmail
her with his non-knowledge of what it was about. He knows that making EJ
paranoid is easy. EJ is so insecure that if a woman so much as kisses his cheek,
he wants to marry her and knock her up. It's only out of a sense of class,
apparently gleaned from Hugh Grant movies, that he doesn't bring a U-Haul with
him on his second dates. Nicole, uncharacteristically, let herself be bullied by
peg leg. After he hobbled off, she stuck her nose in Elvis' business and he
proceeded to try and bite it off. Nicole haters must have been thrilled to see
him laying into her in scenes which were virtually plagiarized from "The
Godfather Part II." She threatened to take her baby away if he didn't end his
war with the Kirkiakis family. He warned her that would never happen. She gave
in. She accused him of still being in love with Sami and threatened to take her
baby. He gave in and ripped up the project (which was a somewhat meaningless
gesture since there are copies). Is he just changing tactics for variety or is
there more to it? The battles between Sami, Nicole and EJ picked up more or less
where they left off. Now, I'm not taking sides. All three of them are mentally
unbalanced criminals and shouldn't be allowed around other adults, let alone
children. There are differences of course. Sami and Nicole are accomplished
liars while EJ is just underhanded, but they're all too insecure to be in a
healthy relationship with anything.
But as the week wore on, things stopped blowing up. In
fact, Thursday and Friday's episodes were all about not blowing up. The entire
episode centered around repressing things. Sami lied and told Lucas her baby was
stillborn. Nobody told Lucas why he was at Daniel's. Bo and Hope still don't
know how to communicate. Even Ciara had to mediate for them. But there was one
little blow up at the week's end. Bo actually argued back to Hope. A few days
alone seemed to give him the power to stand up to Fancy Face's death ray eyes,
but it didn't last. They might end up back together, but it's not looking
Meanwhile, Chloe has suddenly found religion. Well, not
exactly. You can't really do that on network TV, so she's suddenly had a
spiritual awakening, which is similar, but potentially far more annoying. After
telling Papa Walton, er, I mean Father Matt, all about her sexual escapades, the
priest had told her that Daniel was her soul mate. She prayed for a sign from
the Almighty. When she went to the doctor's digs, a fire ball came out and hit
Lucas. Assuming he was dead, she prayed for his recovery and he popped up with a
highly specific form of amnesia that blocks out his knowledge of her affair.
Daniel still wants her but she pushed him away because she has to be true to
God. He gave her a scientific explanation for what happened, but she rejected
his logic. While she may not have much use for logic in Salem, she should have
been working harder to keep up appearances because Kate caught the doctor
examining her tonsils with his tongue a few minutes later. Mama Bear tried to
tell Lucas, but he was impervious. The explosion didn't knock any sense into
And now, onto the spoilers. Please look away if you
don't want a hint of what's in store next week. Rafe comes to Salem and becomes
protective of Samantha. Maybe a little too protective since Elvis is soon
threatening to report him to his superiors at the Bureau. A desperate Sami
attempts to enlist Nicole to keep EJ away. They aren't the only people who are
having trouble with who to focus on in their love lives either. Bo has another
vision, this time of Hope and another man, but it's so out of focus, he's not
entirely sure what's happening. Meanwhile, Philip plants a kiss on Steph, Lucas
and Chloe decide to get back together and Max and Chelsea leap into bed.
Lines of the week:
Victor: (romantic advice for Philip)
That's hardly attractive for a man. Throw her out on
Lucas: (to Sami) The last
time I saw you, you were pregnant. Obviously, you're not pregnant any more.
Nicole: (to Sami) You seem
to have packed on the pounds. What? You thought a bigger target would make it
easier for the killer?
EJ: The time for thinking is over.
EJ: You don't play games with me, not unless you wish
to lose... I believe the expression is 'big-time'.
February 13, 2009
While it wasn't the most eventful week, it managed to be more amusing
than not. Victor received some precious air time and used it for his usual
charming string of nasty quips. Hope, still irate about shooting her
sister-in-law, left Bo so she can go clear her head. Kayla, who was obviously
pumped full of morphine, spent an episode teasing Daniel about his romantic
life. He had his hands full. Chloe dumped Lucas, claiming that he is too good
for her but not elaborating. He was, understandably, at a loss. His mother
showed up to berate him, assuming this is all his fault. She has romantic
problems of her own. Aside from lingering feels for Dr. Dan, she also has
Stefano still sniffing around her. He even showed up at Chez Rouge dressed as
one of The Hives and asked her out. Meanwhile, Brady gave his ex-wife a little
comforting. Chloe pondered whether you have to be stupid to be happy. It doesn't
seem to help in Salem...
...Read the rest of this week's Musings
January 30, 2009
It was baby week. Two popped out, almost simultaneously. Just to make
sure that this wasn't lost on anyone in the audience, they used split screen for
most of the action. I'm not objecting. I've always been fond of the technique
and it was used appropriately. If it was JER making this, I would know they were
making a joke, but this is Dena Higley, so I'm not so sure. The entire "24"
style of the episode was added to by Rafe and the killer playing mind games and
exchanging all sorts of pop psychobabble and caustic remarks. The baby broker
Baker got Sami's kid out while a nun forced her to concentrate. Meanwhile,
Nicole delivered Mia's baby. She had an easier time than Dr. Baker and merely
whipped out some old sheets to lay by the bed, telling the young woman to think
about 'rainbows and kittens'. She promptly placed the baby in a drawer, no doubt
to make Mia more comfortable since she grew up in one too. After putting the
newborn in a picnic basket, she hurried over to the clinic and discovered that
Sami's baby was having trouble. After building up some momentum for the plot
this way, they quickly threw it away and everyone involved spent the rest of the
week arguing and screaming, or, if you're Nicole, saying that something is too
long and difficult to explain and then spending a great deal of time explaining
it. Nicole prayed for a miracle and got one. Apparently God was impressed by her
idea to beat Sami to death with a statue of the Virgin Mary. After Dr. Baker
finally managed to make Sami's baby cry, Nicole told him that they were going to
swap the children. Nicole suddenly decided that Sami was a capable mother and
could look after Mia's baby while she looked after EJ's.
It's been awhile since Melanie
had much airplay but she was back this week and larger than life. She's
positively giddy at the opportunity to make the Kiriakis and DiMera families go
to war over her patent. Although she told her brother all about her plan, when
Philip showed up to talk to her she ran away. He already knows what she's up to
and he tipped Brady off about it. Brady, apparently, doesn't know much about
what's going on; he's been too busy playing basketball
with clients. Melanie ran into him and told him her sob story and he seemed
quite sympathetic. Is she going to try and use her bedroom eyes on Philip, Brady
and Elvis all at once?
Of course, her love life, or
lack thereof, isn't nearly as curious as Dr. Daniel's. He and Chloe played
break-up phone tag most of the week, dumping each other in voice messages before
meeting in person to share some truly odd dialog. They can't stay away from each
other and have been meeting up every couple of hours to talk about how they can
never meet up again. He also had a few peculiar scenes with Kate, who seems to
have no clue about what is going on inside of his head. He kept trying to avoid
her questions by ordering pizza melodramatically. Victor cornered him outside of
the pub as he watched Lucas and Chloe play with children. Daniel admitted to his
Godfather that all of the women he seems to want are already taken. Perhaps
that's the key to his psychology – he wants what he can't have, whether it's
because of death, disease or marriage. That's an appalling romantic cliché, but
maybe it's not even that deep. After all, there was a food fight following
directly after his little revelation.
Bo told Patch all about his
visions. Now he's having visions of Hope and Kayla getting hurt. Which leads us
to the spoilers for next week. Please look away now if you do not wish to be
spoiled. In the coming week, Bo will find his visions coming true again. Kayla
is shot and chaos breaks out across Salem. Since Marlena is gone, Daniel is the
only real doctor left at the hospital and his hands are already busy. No, just
kidding. Rafe and the killer battle it out and Bo lends his trigger finger to
the action. Nicole and EJ bring them Ejami baby home. This quickly gives her
something to freak out about and she's as sure as Sami was that there is
something wrong with the child. Meanwhile, Maggie can hardly keep her mouth shut
about Chloe's unbuttoned exit from Daniel's love shack and Steph and Philip
finally get it on.
Lines of the week:
Daniel: I meant what I said. It's over. We can't be together.
Chloe: That's why I'm here.
Chloe: When I listened to your
message the first time, I understood. When I listened again I wanted to kill
Baker: So the nun is lying
Maggie: You know he can be a
jerk and he knows you can be a bitch, but in time you will love each other more.
Nicole: Sami may be a
despicable person, but she is a responsible mother.
Melanie: The more greedy
hands, the more money in the pot.
Max: I think it was Karl Marx that said that.
Daniel: I belong in Salem, but
sometimes I think all the right women are taken.
January 16, 2008
been some sort of vague change at "Days" over the past few weeks. It might have
something to do with the pacing, which has picked up. It might have something to
do with the lack of a daily dose of Sami... or Melanie, but things are moving
differently. For the most part, this sounds like a good thing. It's like someone
flipped a switch and noticed all of the plot holes and dead ends and is now
hopping around to fix them. Or maybe that's hoping for too much. But it would
explain why Stefano and Kate finally discussed his marriage proposal. For those
who were baffled by their scene this week, the aging master criminal proposed to
the aging mistress of seduction early last fall... before both of them nearly
died. They didn't bring up her miracle revival, or his, and acted like he asked
her last week. Maybe, given those conditions, that makes sense, but it didn't
feel like it made sense. "Days" isn't "Passions" -- time actually passes in
Salem. Anyway, she needs more time to think about it, whatever that means. If a
day is a grain of sand in an hourglass, I guess half a year is about equal to
the sand that Daniel gets in his wet suit when he surfs.
flame, Dr. Daniel, has already started thinking about other things, or Chloe at
any rate. He showed up at her engagement party. She was wearing green; he was
jealous of Lucas. She tried to resist his talk of them being perfect together,
but then the zippers fell and the door magically locked itself. Lucas still
managed to interrupt, though he didn't see anything. Viewers had to wait until
the next day for the drawn out sex scene. Maybe I'm superficial, but it was hot.
It brought to mind what I remember soaps being about -- awkward and slightly
disturbing romantic pairings and long softcore porn scenes. I've complained
about this before, but, for whatever strange reason, this sort of thing is rare
these days in Daytime. That could be the real reason the ratings are dropping.
I'm not going to argue that Chloe and Daniel are a great couple. They're both
shells of characters, but they have potential. Most of hers is in her past, most
of his comes from the fact that we know nothing about him. Do people care about
them? Probably not. But they look good and listening to him whispering romantic
cliches while they tear off their clothes is a nice way to spend an afternoon.
They even had a fire going to show everyone how hot it was. Did anyone see if
the doctor had a bearskin rug? The other highlight of the week was Victor, who
dispenses insults with the grace that can only come from years of experience at
Nicole continued trying to get her baby. Over and over, she told Mia her sob
story. Over and over, Mia demanded to meet her fiancé. Finally, Nicole broke
down and took her to the mansion. The young woman looked at the crib Stefano had
flown over from Italy and said she used to sleep in a drawer. Tony, who has
spent the last few weeks haunting the mansion, popped up to find out who she
was. Nicole told him they met while she was trying to help girls in trouble. He
ran off and told his little brother, who tried to imagine that Nicole is turning
into a saint.
Nick finally had
his hearing and has been sentenced to two to five years. Melanie spoke up for
him to get him some leniency. He begged his friends not to let his project fall
into the wrong hands. What does this mean? Could it mean that the Alternative
Fuels Project could be exploited to make WMDs or something. Maybe that's why the
DiMeras are so interested all of a sudden, after all, they used to be in that
business. Meanwhile, Philip and Stephanie made kissy faces and kissed for most
of the week, but Melanie ended up impressing him with her 'magnanimity' in the
courtroom. So, for anyone who wants to see a triangle between Mel, Steph and
Philip, there is still hope. I don't. I hope she drops Philip for now and he can
run after her later when he gets bored with Stephanie the way everyone else
does. For now, Melanie should set her eyes on EJ. He's bound to get frustrated
with Nicole sooner or later and, whatever Mel's drawbacks, at least she isn't
The thing that's
bothered me lately has been that so much seems rushed. I'm sure that some
welcome the change of pace, but there's a difference between leaping through
hoops and pacing things well. Right now the show feels like it is following an
arbitrary deadline instead of any internal logic. I don't know if it would seem
this way if we didn't know so much about what goes on behind the scenes, and in
the actor's contracts, but we do and it does. John and Marlena are being pushed
back together. He's started to regain some of his old mannerisms even if he
doesn't have his memories back. Dr. Taylor quickly got him under hypnosis and
remembering his love of Marlena. This made her freak out so she lied, telling
him there is no chance he can get him memory back. In more of a surprise, she
pushed him to leave town with her. Marlena is desperate too; she kissed him but
it didn't jog his memory. Even more desperately, she went to Kayla for a second
opinion. Since Kayla lives with Patch, I guess she's qualified to give
psychiatric advice. While they bumbled around and Charlotte started acting
crazy, Brady snuck into her office, found the video of John's hypnosis session
and sent it to Marlena. So what's up with Dr. Charlotte and why does she hate
the Jarlena reunion? I shudder to think.
The real surprise
of the week was that they suddenly killed off Hilda, and in a completely lame
and undramatic way at that. It was bad enough that we were teased with a female
character that didn't whine constantly, or sleep with Lucas, or flirt with
Daniel, but they had to make her go down without a fight. Making it even worse
-- she died for the sake of Sami. The blond terror quickly ran away on Rafe,
while he was suffering from the wound he received protecting her, so she could
try and pawn her kid off on some nuns.
Now, onto the
spoilers. If you do not wish to be spoiled, please look away. Continuing the
freak out, Charlotte goes to see Marlena with a syringe. I guess she read her
rival's file and is trying to be ironic. Either that or she has no imagination.
Of course, by the end of the week, the couple will be back together. Maybe a
little more trauma is all they need to be on the same page. And speaking of
traumatic experiences, we get to watch Nicole and Sami talk to each other last
week after Nicole hunts her enemy down. Meanwhile, Rafe battles the killer once
more and Chloe runs away to Canada to escape from the men in her life for
Lines of the Week:
John: I can be negative and pessimistic on my own. Why pay a psychiatrist?
Nicole: Stefano is
just one of the sweetest goofs you'll ever meet.
John: I want my
memories back because Blondie is in my mind somewhere.
Nicole: But we
were invited. Chloe is my best friend.
Victor: That's a frightening thought. I'm uninviting you.
Victor: (to EJ) You're not just an idiot, you're a damn masochist
January 2, 2009
It was New Year's week on 'Days'. I don't think much more than a
single day, or night, of story time actually passed over the course of the four
episodes. Since it was a shortened week, and many of us are still recovering
from our holiday indulgences, I'll keep this brief.
The week didn't hold a great deal of surprises. While Sami
spent the week dropping hints and trying to get Rafe to open up to her some
more, he managed to stay relatively quiet. Of course, it's easy not to talk much
when you have Sami to fill up the vacuum… However, he did admit that he didn't
mind being stuck with her for New Year's. She was baffled. Maybe it slips her
mind that he is an orphan. Their relationship dichotomy modified somewhat. She's
become slightly less aggressive and a bit quieter. She's also showing a little
less cleavage and he's flashing more biceps. For a Sami Brady relationship,
that's pretty deep.
Lucas continued to be puppy-eyed about Chloe. Her anime
style eyes were busy checking out Daniel. They keep trying to avoid each other
and end up together over and over again. Not only was she terminally ill once,
she is also the donator of major bodily fluids. Those are two things the doctor
can't resist. The week even opened with a big softcore sex fantasy for the
not-yet-lovers. It was nice to see a brief return to 'sex in the afternoon'.
Kate, meanwhile, has lost her libido. Daniel keeps offering to stick around so
they can spoon but she keeps sending him away. She also clearly suspects that
there may be something between Chloe and the doctor. Perhaps she actually wants
them together as a way of saying 'thank you'? Can Kate really be that generous,
or is she planning something? Her support of the Chloe-Lucas pairing is truly
Elvis spent much of the week being frustrated. I mean, more
frustrated than usual. And this time it wasn't just because he was being denied
sex. He wanted everything to be just right so he could pop the question to
Nicole. Stefano kept pushing him to get a pre-nup and filled his time with
endless conference calls. When EJ wasn't busy with that, Tony would show up to
berate him about how dangerous their father is. EJ clearly doesn't care. It's
hard to know if he is naïve, distracted, or if he really is more of a knock off
the old block than is often hinted at. He could easily turn in any of those
directions. His bigger problem is one that he isn't even very aware of – Nicole.
She finally figured out that Dr. Baker is a baby broker. She repeated this
little tongue twister many times while attempting to enlist the help of Brady,
or to blackmail the baby broker into giving her the child that she's sure she
deserves. He hasn't been terribly helpful and none of the two facial expressions
the doctor has were offering her much comfort. In the end, there was much
weeping and she decided to come clean with Elvis. Before she could, he dropped
on a knee and proposed.
Salem's other burgeoning romances escalated this week. Max
and Chelsea continued to flirt and they even managed to kiss. Melanie kept
flirting with Philip. He can't help but flirt with anyone who happens to be
female. He ended up kissing Steph at 12 o'clock sharp. They both admitted that
they'd been playing games just to annoy Melanie. That seemed to endear them to
each other even more. They made out some more and will quickly take it further.
And John and Marlena accidentally, sort of, had a date.
And now… on to the spoilers. For anyone who doesn't want to
risk having their dreams of the future shattered (or prematurely fulfilled),
please look away. Kate is out and on the loose, but, without any libido to speak
of, she doesn't have much use for Dr. Dan. She'll continue to push him away and
into the arms of someone who has an operatic level of libido. The doctor may
have even more problems though. Lucas is going to use all the talents (okay, not
all) he learned in prison to smack the doctor in the jaw. Chloe nearly busting
Daniel's million dollar hands didn't seem to bother him much so a little damage
to ten-dollar jaw shouldn't be worse. The only question is: Which reason is
Lucas using to do the deed? Maybe he's in need of a vacation. Bo seems to be.
That's why Hope will convince him to run off with her for a while to rekindle
the romance in their lives. Will this stop his visions? Maybe he could ask John
for some advice on head injuries? Apparently, Mr. Black-DiMera is finally
recovering from his and will start to jog his memories of Marlena.
December 19, 2008
to say that I've genuinely enjoyed 'Days' lately. I'm not entirely sure why.
Let's review what happened this week to see if there is a hint anywhere. The
entire week was made up of relationships that mirror previous ones. Everything
that happened seems to have an echo in what happened before, only some of the
characters have been exchanged and none of the characters who had the experience
previously, seem aware that they had it at all. One of the curious things is
that, increasingly, all of these plots seem to happen in little worlds which
scarcely intersect. Even when they overlap, they seem sealed from each other.
Philip had a little tiff over the fact that they've both dated Chloe, something
which they've largely forgotten about. To his credit, Philip never tried to
marry her. Philip then spent the week leaping between the two women in his life:
Melanie and Stephanie. Melanie, who is channelling early Chelsea, hit the
jackpot this week when Nick handed all rights over his project to her. That
means she can earn millions. She hung this over Philip's head. Melanie sneered
and Philip barked, eventually firing Mel. She went straight to Victor, who seems
to exist solely to berate his son, which he did, yet again. Philip quit and,
five minutes later, asked for his job back. Meanwhile, Stephanie went to Max to
remind him that they were broken up and she was interested in Philip. He already
knew, but got angry anyway. Then Chelsea came, she teased him, they flirted, he
gave the toy dog that Trent left him in his will to Theo. Is that an ominous
sign? It seems obvious that Max and Chelsea are going to get back together, and
not just because she's the reformed version of his sister (which is a little
creepy). The fact that they are being placed in 'adult' situations, ie. with
Theo, suggests that it will be a very different coupling from the last time
around. So Uncle Max hooks up with another 'niece'. It would be nice if Chelsea
met a guy who hasn't slept with most of her friends or family.
been going to Dr. Charlotte for therapy. He's been lazily re-enacting his early
relationship with Marlena, which has also been slightly re-enacted with Marlena
every time he gets a new personality. Charlotte wants to reunite the broken
couple; that's her mission, which sound like the opposite of what she was saying
a week and a half ago. They both seem happy, but confused by this. I can't
figure out if this is the only purpose of the new character or what. Marlena was
strangely curt to her and the black hole the character crawled out of could
either mean that she has some dark secret to be revealed or she is just really
badly written. Most of the time, I can't tell. She isn't supposed to stick
around for long though, which is too bad, because I like her. Besides, Salem
won't have a shrink when she's gone and it needs one.
his head and now is having visions. He's been hearing a screaming child and
envisioning disaster. I think I'm glad that they might be bringing back more
supernatural elements, but it's too early to tell.
Sami managed to be less annoying this week. He was stabbed so he could take off
his shirt more than usual. Now that the killer knows who he is, he keeps
flirting with leaving but can't seem to tear himself away. She managed to pout
less and then slipped and fell. Meanwhile, Nicole dumped Daniel as her doctor
(she likely knew he'd try to feel her up and discover her secret) and ran to Dr.
Baker to ask him to fake being her obstetrician. He was reluctant but agreed to
do it for $750,000. Now she needs to figure out how to get it. To complicate
things, Elvis is getting randy and keeps flashing his chest and pointing his
flower at her.
If you look
at the plots, they aren't any better than usual, but something has definitely
changed with the show. There's a steadiness which has suddenly returned and
there's a new level of comfort in the scenes which was missing for a long time.
The characters even seem fresher, better articulated. That's all a bit
impressionistic, but that's how it feels. Daniel continues to unravel exactly
the way I always thought he would. Since day one, I had him pegged for a pervy
doctor and he just keeps fuelling the fire with his lust for Chloe. She's
clearly uncomfortable that he wants more than her bone marrow, but I think we
all know where this is going. Meanwhile, his godfather, Victor, showed up, which
is always welcome. He did the only thing they let him do anymore — make Philip
feel like an idiot because his libido gets in the way of business. He should
probably tell Stephanie to stop her cleavage from getting in the way of business
too. Like I've said of Philip before, Melanie seems to be acting on a different
show than most of the other characters. Usually, that doesn't work, but at this
point, she manages to be more entertaining than not. I thought she was laying it
on thick to start with, but Molly Burnett has really hit her stride lately and
they are loading her up with all of the good lines... I just wonder how long
they can keep that up.
on to what happens next week. If you don't want to see anything even approaching
a spoiler, please look away and have a happy holiday. Otherwise, Melanie will be
enlisting Max to smuggle her into the Brady Christmas. Will the spirit of the
season enter her soulless body, or will she be able to Scrooge the holiday for
everyone? Luckily for Alice, she'll be skipping the festivities this year; Mel
might have given her a heart attack. Doug and Julie will be around for the
holidays, however, and will be reading the Christmas story at the hospital.
Meanwhile, Chloe breaks an ornament Maggie gives her. Given the bizarre sense of
causality on 'Days', who knows what might result from this? In another bit of
holiday largesse, Victor will be giving the boot to Philip and Brady. And the
killer isn't taking a break for the holidays. Now that he's given Rafe a taste
of his talents, he's ready to spread the joy a little thicker and give Sami a
bullet for Christmas.
holidays to everyone!
the season, bitch!
EJ) You can't come in here looking like a chiseled God and expect me to fall at
your feet. Especially when I'm not sure you have my best interests at heart. You
don't trust me with seed money for our child's future.
when you get out of here do you want to hang out? Maybe take in a movie? Thumb
It's about the baby. It is driving me crazy and that's why I'm acting
Pretty soon, Stephanie, you will be the ghost of Christmas past.
Look at the way you dress. I think you should apply for a job at Hooters.
(to Melanie) How dare you talk to me like that! You were the one who was talking
about having sex with Philip!
Philip: Yeah, but that never happened. I'd rather stick my hand in a garbage
December 5, 2008
Nicole has been doing her best to hide the fact that
she lost the baby from EJ. Elvis realized something must be wrong and dragged
her to the clinic to find out what it could be. Nicole promptly blackmailed the
doctor and offered to pay off his debts if he would keep the truth from EJ. She
went home with her fake belly on, worrying that Elvis will stop loving her.
Things got even more complicated for her when Stefano decided he would fly in a
specialist to look her over. Nicole was outraged. Elvis and Stefano interpreted
this as meaning she was some sort of feminist (I guess, in a Camille Paglia sort
of way, she is).
dragged Rafe to the convent and they talked about nuns. She wanted to go to
confessional but he forbade her and dragged her back to the safe house so he
could subject her to some gratuitous shirtless time and Hilda with a Christmas
tree. He left little blond alone with big blond once again so that he could
dress up in a cable uniform and snoop around the DiMera mansion. Sami outcried
Nicole this week.
a lot this week as well, but considerably less than most of the other women on
the show. Daniel tested her family and dug through the hospital databanks for
someone who could donate their bone marrow to her. The procedure Daniel plans to
use would be, of course, extra risky and cutting edge. Chloe turns up to be the
only match. Kate forbids her to donate right after Lucas forbids her to tell his
mother that they are engaged.
finally met a doctor who he didn't freak out at. Marlena set him up with her old
mentor, Dr. Taylor. She had no idea that he was actually dead and his daughter
had taken over his practice. When John met Dr. Charlotte Taylor, he was
impressed that she didn't want him to change. He smiled a lot, introduced the
women and joyed in teasing Marlena, who was instantly jealous and annoyed. Not
only is the new blond shrink looking after John, she thinks Marlena is a bad
influence and she is moving her practice in right next door to hers.
sounds very dramatic... well, amusing anyway. Somehow, most of it doesn't feel
that way when I'm watching it. There has been some nice soap opera acting in the
past two weeks. Kate, Melanie and Nicole have all cried with wonderful agility.
Melanie's misery intrigues me the most, not because I enjoy the character (since
I don't), but because it's more complicated and slightly less conventional.
Terminal diseases and dead fetuses are sad things for sure, but that also makes
them easy. Meanwhile, Sami's pointless whining is just a litmus test for the
painful. If it weren't for the fact that the people she is interacting with are
so deadpan, it would be unforgivable.
Stephanie both spent much of the week trying to impress Philip. I keep having
the feeling that Philip seems to be acting on a different TV show. Sometimes it
even feels like I would much rather be watching whatever that other show is.
He's not alone either. I could say the same for John, or Stefano, when they
aren't shamefully wasting him, or even Daniel for that matter. One of the things
about "Days" that strikes me is the remarkable discontinuity between the actors,
not only because they are hedged into the same sets and repetitive plots, but
into styles that don't seem to fit with each other. It's sort of like interior
design in England, where everything seems to have been decorated by some monster
with eyes on every side of its head but none of them are communicating the same
information to the brain. Sometimes it just seems like the show's writers are
each locked in different parts of the studio and forbidden to communicate. I
don't think that's the case though, for if it were, it would likely be better,
just be accident. The other day, Chrissi (the editor for Soaps.com) and I were
forced to admit that one of the only interesting characters on the show right
now is Daniel. He's interesting because he's such an enigma. We can't decide if
the gravelly voiced doctor is just a terribly written character, or a terribly
perverse one. The other characters seem imprisoned in some terribly repetitive
routine, but he's strangely relaxed back about the whole thing.
forgive my rambling... what follows is spoiler type information, so, if you do
not wish to be spoiled, please avert your gaze. Next week, Stefano will be
pushing EJ to make things official with Nicole. Whether this means marriage or a
strictly legal arrangement, we'll have to wait and see. She will be making some
arrangements of her own. She'll even be forced to drug Brady to take care of
them. Melanie and Stephanie continue to vie for Philip's attentions, which could
get dangerous for everyone involved. And, taking a break from Sami stabbing him
in the back, Rafe gets stabbed in the literal sense.
Sami: All of a sudden you're being human and I don't want to think of you like
that! You have to keep acting like a jerk so I won't concentrate on Christmas.
thought caring for your unborn child would trump your hysterical feminism.
have a mind like a steel trap.
EJ: To talk
technical: I am a guy. Father is a guy. We saw a problem and decided to fix it.
When it comes to something like this guys are basically clueless.
it's not Dr. Good-News-Bad-News Jonas.
That's kind of hideous.
Daniel: I know. It's garish and commercial. I'm going to get you in the
November 21, 2008
It was an eventful week on "Days of Our Lives," both
onscreen and off. After last week's scandalous rumor that Jay Kenneth Johnson
was being let go as Philip proved to be no more than a 'misunderstanding', we
are still left with the disturbing news that John and Marlena will be leaving
the cast. Although some have already suggested that this may just be a crude
ploy to get some publicity for the show, we'll have to wait and see. So far it
has managed to generate a great deal of negative press. It's debatable whether
even bad press is good press in this instance.
things were dramatic too. The Trent murder plot reached its peak. Nick went
berserk, took Melanie away with him and tried to convince her that they needed
to get married to protect each other. Everyone he knew was searching town to
rescue him from Melanie's infernal clutches. Bo and Hope finally pieced together
that Nick was actually the dangerous one and managed to track him down. As the
cops broke down Nick's door, Mel leaped off the balcony, only to be saved by Bo
and Philip. Steph stood by and watched, not terribly impressed. Nick was
promptly arrested and confessed. Kudos to Blake Berris for how he played his
scenes. He managed to stay in character even when his character no longer was.
His scenes with Maggie were sad and genuine. Too bad everything around them was
something else altogether. Everyone blamed themselves for what Nick did. He was
a nice boy, corrupted by the evil of Salemites. That's actually one of the more
interesting things about the story. Usually, evil comes to town and is
orchestrated by some foreign force; this time the town turned someone evil.
one of Salem's other 'romances' has been flailing around almost as sadly as Nick
and Melanie's. Nicole and EJ have already succeeded in becoming as boring as he
was when he was 'with' Sami. That's what happens when he stops being sexually
frustrated. I can forgive that, but what they've done to Nicole is appalling.
She's become a simpering, neurotic mess, but there's reason to suspect that she
will return to her darker side in the coming months... In the meantime, Elvis
suddenly agreed to take over the reigns of the DiMera empire from his father.
Will this really happen, and, better still, how will Tony feel about it? He
might make a show of not caring, but it wasn't that long ago that he and EJ were
banding together to try and steal the company. Now that Brady is in town, and
part DiMera, will he want a piece of the pie like his father did? This fact
hasn't really come up yet, so who knows, but it's an intriguing possibility. So
far, Brady and Nicole have drifted around, being awkward with each other. Sexual
tension is inevitable. Sami will be gone for awhile and EJ can't exist without
being part of a triangle. Brady's been around for more than a week and I still
don't know what to make of him. There's a certain blankness to the character
right now. The first thing I noticed about him was the way he would sit there
and do mocking imitations of people when they weren't around. He's done this a
few times so far. I'm guessing this is supposed to signal some sort of sardonic
depth to come out in the character, but it's just odd right now. A few other
observations for the week: EJ has been blinking less and Melanie has been
blinking more; apparently Kate finds David Bowie soothing (I guess she was
listening to "Low"); Lucas was giddy and Sami continued to reduce her emotional
complexity to alternating between whining and whining loudly.
chemo is actually going well, or maybe not. Daniel is somewhat contradictory
about it. Maybe that's because, unconsciously, since he desires Kate, he wants
her to be sick, though, as a doctor, he can't acknowledge that. The more I see
of the character, the stranger I find him. I don't know if that's because he's
just a strange and complex character, or if it's because he's badly written.
Daniel's scene with Chloe this week made little sense. She already knows that he
gets over-involved with his patients and she knows that he's involved with Kate.
He had an almost identical conversation with Nicole before she and EJ got
serious, as well as with Chelsea earlier than that, and with Kate even earlier
on. The only thing their heart-to-heart revealed was how pathological the guy.
Chloe's also in a bizarre position right now. She has feelings for Philip but is
with Lucas. She obviously has something, at least hinted at, with Daniel as
well. More worrying was that Lucas excitedly asked her to move in with him this
week... in a huge new house he plans to buy. Less than a few months ago he was
broke and fresh from prison. After only a few months, he's already sure that
Chloe makes a great mother to his children. I suppose after watching Sami
attempt to be a mother that might seem true, but what is wrong with this guy?
Did those head injuries he received in prison do severe damage that we don't
know about? There's no reason behind any of this; their relationship isn't even
a sketch at this point, it's a doodle. I want it to end. Not because I want to
see either of them with anyone else; I just can't stand to see them together.
to the spoilers. If you don't wish to be spoiled, avert your gaze. John will be
defending Marlena against Sami's stalker. Sami will be getting more airtime.
Unable to bear being trapped with Rafe, she runs off to hide out in a convent. I
guess if Sami could be a boy, she could be a nun too. It's already being
speculated that she'll give the baby up to the sisters. Meanwhile, Nicole will
be having baby trouble of her own when her stomach pains get worse. All the
while EJ will be off with his father conducting business. Will Brady come to
Nicole's rescue, or will he be too busy making eyes at his ex-wife Chloe and
making Lucas jealous? Although Lucas has always excelled at displaying his
jealous and his joy of ranting, he'll be getting some stiff competition when
Chelsea and Melanie battle it out to see which of them can actually get a new
Bo: Did you
hear what you just said? You just threw her under the bus.
caused one person to die for Chelsea and now another one for you, Melanie.
Whenever I try to do good people end up dead.
I've always lacked humility but I need to learn I'm not a God.
many friends do you have?
John: Real or imaginary?
In order to deal with her you need mace and a net. Wherever they are, I'm sure
Nick is in trouble.
November 7, 2008
Abe was elected mayor of Salem, thanks in part to
the fact that he was running against a corpse who had never played any role in
the city's activities until a little over a month ago, not that such facts are
ever guarantees of political victory. He and Lexi worried that they could be in
the crosshairs of the Marino murder investigation since she sort of, but not
exactly, asked her father to get rid of him. Roman and Abe got a
quasi-confession out of Stefano to this effect and promptly agreed to forget it
since it might incriminate them. Abe instantly chose yet another Brady to be
police commissioner. Bo's first order of business, beyond complaining about his
tie, was to remind Abe that they have murders to solve. Will Bo change much in
the job? He and Hope have become cold and, frankly, have seemed like jerks for
the past couple of weeks. Is that just because they've actually been working,
however unsuccessfully, instead of hanging around in the pub and eating donuts?
arrested for Trent's murder and locked up. EJ has been slightly unhelpful since
he has the nagging suspicion that she's guilty. Since she hates her jail cell,
she complained her way into the medical ward where she was nearly pummelled by a
woman named Candi. EJ rescued her at the last minute and took her back to her
cell where he continued to suspect her and she began to be sure he just wanted
to take their baby. Across town, Kate started getting chemo and Chelsea tried to
reconcile... again. Philip got angry at Daniel, then supported him, then got
angry, then supported him, then got angry again. Daniel, who seems to be the
surgeon-general of nonchalant flirtations, made some more loving statements to
Kate before leaving her alone for her excruciating therapy. He went over to the
gym to work out and began flirting with Chloe, feeling up her muscles and
telling her that he's 'developing a taste for her'. I know he flirts with
everyone, sometimes he even seems to flirt with Philip (it's the artificial
leg), but it wasn't until he found out that Chloe almost died from leukemia that
he really seemed to get hot for her. Is this a coincidence? Either Daniel has a
thing for lusting after Philip's family members and lovers, or he really has
this fetish for morbidity. He's Daytime's first surfer-goth.
up with Philip? He 'sees himself' in Melanie, he says, and he has naughty
daydreams about her, all the while he acts jealous about Chloe and claimed, only
a few weeks ago, that he had deep feelings for her. Then he lent his shoulder to
Stephanie to cry on and was his usual flirty, and slightly snide, self with her.
I know he's supposed to be a player, but it's just weird to have peg-leg run all
over town to make passes at different women. Capping it, however, was when they
had the most bizarre shot of him graphically biting an apple that spontaneously
appeared in front of Melanie's face.
been somewhat more incoherent than usual (example: Max maniacally defending his
sister and then, spontaneously turning around and saying she's really no good,
not to mention what's happened to Nicole over the past few weeks and what's
happened to Nick), which has never bothered me, but it's rarely been as
incoherent as it's been lately. Or, I guess I should say, it's never been
incoherent in quite the same way. Usually, the plots are full of holes and the
characters jump through them. Now, the characters are full of holes and the
plots disappear in them. I know I'm not alone when I say that frequently, over
the past few weeks, the characters seem almost unrecognizable as their former
selves and their relationship make even less sense than ever. It's normal for
past events to be treated as irrelevant or, at best, mythical. In a recent
interview I read with James Scott, he said that the people at the show actually
recommended he remain ignorant of character and show history as a matter of
practice. This would seem to hold across the board. A certain degree of amnesia
is necessary. I can accept constantly re-writing a character. EJ can be nine or
twenty nine or fifty nine years old, he can have nine wives or have raped Sami
nine times or never, because character history really doesn't matter. There are
no facts on "Days of Our Lives" and characters don't do anything out of
experience, they do it out of personae which are created in a vacuum and then
dropped onto the set. That's why some people think soaps are badly written, but
I don't, I find it charming. The thing that bothers me about what's been going
on lately is that it's all plot and almost no personae.
all bad of course. I've been pleasantly surprised by Galen Gering's performance
as Rafe. You really have to see an actor in more than one role to appreciate
whether or not they can actually act. Unfortunately all he's done is play
blinking contests with Sami (I guess she couldn't really play with EJ). I'm
looking forward to him interacting with someone other than Sami. Despite some
superficial resemblance, there's little of the lumbering and, let's face it,
quite dumb detective he played on "Passions." It just makes me that more excited
to see what Eric Martsolf will do with Brady. By the way, spoilers from here
on... Brady will be returning next Thursday. It will be just as John actually
returns to get involved in the storylines again. He'll be searching around for
the man who took a shot at Sami. Does he want to give him pointers, or is he
trying to capture him to impress Marlena? Across town, Lucas and Philip aren't
thrilled with how Kate's chemo is going and have their doubts about Daniel
renewed. Lexi continues to renew her doubts about her maternal capacities when
she finds that Theo seems to prefer Chelsea's company. Meanwhile, Nick will try
to go on the run and will ask Melanie to go with him. Their plan hits a dead end
when he vanishes. Perhaps not coincidentally, Bo and Hope will be arresting
their latest suspect in Trent's murder.
Mel: I have
plenty of friends.
Philip: Aside from Nick, who are they? The mail man?
October 24, 2008
As usual, Sami spent most of the week weeping.
Crying about whether she should shield her children from the DiMeras; wailing
about not being understood; tearfully refusing to go into the witness protection
program because she couldn't bring her children; and whimpering about being
alone and in danger. She also scowled and screamed for good measure to the point
that she resembled a demoniacally possessed jack o'lantern. Where did this
week's horror's start? Salem's mayor was shot dead on Stefano's doorstep and
Sami just happened to be nearby, witnessing the slightly less horrific sight of
Elvis and knocked-up Nicole canoodling on the sofa at the time. She came face to
face with the shooter and now the shooter wants her dead. She ran indoors and
interrupted the intimate moment between EJ and Nicole to tell them about it.
Nicole thought she was full of blarney... until she tripped over the corpse in
the doorway. It's nice to know that 'Days' hasn't lost its dark sense of humor.
The show really was funny this week, if not entirely fun.
I know John
is strange, but this week he was actually bizarre. It's like he's turning into a
very eccentric child before our eyes. Watching him react to Nicole's abdominal
pains like she was going into labor was almost sweet. He spent the rest of the
week either threatening Stefano or acting like a naughty boy who was sucking up
to his mother to get a puppy. Marlena wasn't entirely convinced by the wide
unblinking eyes routine and is still filing for divorce.
else's hair was standing on end as well this week. Daniel spent most of his
appearance on Wednesday with his hair frazzled up in a bizarre display. Unlike
his mother, Philip wasn't impressed to see the doctor wandering around his
backyard soaking and shirtless. After punching him in the jaw and ranting at him
with the film noire attitude he had left over from Nicole's fantasy scene, he
finally agreed to back off and stay out of his mother's love life. Daniel seemed
to be showing his true colors though. He really has a thing for dying women. I
don't want to analyze it, it's sort of obvious, but I think Chelsea had a lucky
escape getting away from someone that pathological. Kate later showed up at the
hospital with the trunks Daniel left behind at the pool (yeah, I really want
someone who can't remember to take their clothes when they leave to perform
surgery on me). Chelsea came to try and apologize but, seeing them together,
reneged and wished she'd never have to see Kate again. Daniel then told them the
latest results: Kate has metastatic carcinoma.
his part, seems to be getting involved with someone who may actually be the most
pathological person in Salem: Melanie. Since he's already rich and she has no
money, she tried to bed him to get him not to go to the cops with what he knows.
They undid some buttons but Philip couldn't go any further than that. Lusting
after brain dead zombie women is one thing, but he draws the line when it comes
to killers. He went to Bo with what he knew. Bo was not happy that he waited so
long to tell him. For his part, Bo spent most of the week looking at people like
they were morons. Which segues into the next topic.
and Max broke up. I'm sure some people out there care but I'm not one of them.
Max is just plain disturbing lately and Stephanie needs some time alone to
regroup and get her feistiness back. I guess that's what happens when you stop
being a redhead. For a guy who is supposed to be a genius, Max is acting
incredibly stupid. That other genius, Nick, seems to have become equally stupid
recently. Rumors are that he's the one that offed Trent while hopped up on pain
killers. Poor Trent, or I should say, poor Roscoe Born. Just like when he was
murdered on "Y&R", he gets dragged back as a hallucination. Although I normally
hate this sort of thing, I'll forgive them since it's nearly Halloween and since
watching him bad mouth Melanie is always somewhat entertaining. I'm sorry to her
fans, if she has any, but the girl is just a brat. I'll give her credit though,
Salem has plenty of brats and she can already stand apart. There's a greater
desperation to her, a refined brattiness, a sort of brat chic. There was another
curious moment between a father and daughter this week as well. Lexi attempted
to confront Stefano about Marino's murder. He was offended by the suggestion
that he was involved and then acted very sweet and gentle. It was an unusually
you don't wish to be spoiled, avert your gaze now. Next week, after offers of
sex and her lack of cash fail to convince Philip that she's not the bad seed,
Melanie decides it would be a merry idea to skip town before she gets arrested.
Nick seems happy to go along. Maybe a little too happy... they may breathe a
sigh of relief by the end of the week when Nicole gets arrested for Trent's
murder. Even if this clears Caroline, this won't keep all the pressure off of
Max. He and Steph will continue to gloomily grumble about their failed
relationship. To compound things, Trent's will is read to Max and Mel. Did they
inherit his debts, a fortune, a gloomy house in New Orleans, the newest solar
car, his talent for dispensing insults, the porn home movies he made with
Nicole, or something unexpected? Meanwhile, Sami will be stuck in the witness
protection program while the shooter looms large. Who will protect the
protectors from Sami though? It appears as though that's what agent Rafael (aka
Galen Gering) may be doing. Back in town, Kate will tell her children about her
cancer and Daniel will try and tempt Chelsea to forgive them.
I'm not dying, I want you. If I am dying, I want you. I want to make love to
I'm not going to cry.
Max: What is there to cry about?
Bo: Let me see... maybe that she's in love with an idiot?
if you came back with a baby? What are you going to tell people? "Look what I
found at a yard sale!"
What? If sex doesn't work, you segue to tears?
There's stupid and then there's Chelsea stupid.
ctober 10, 2008
The week went by quick. Or maybe it just felt that
was because I drowsed through a lot of it. It was another week where little
really happened. Unlike most of the weeks when nothing much happens, it wasn't
bogged down with a lot of flashbacks. Instead, it was mostly fresh not-happening
happening. But even with all that not-happening, a few things went on. Caroline
is out of jail and back working at the pub. Max's room was searched, his bloody
shirt was found and he was taken in for questioning. He hoped that he would be
arrested and get his mom off the hook, but his hopes were dashed when the DA
actually bought his story. Other suspects continue to be mentioned. Even Melanie
tried expanding Bo's list. She seemed to have more ideas about this than he
does. Bo and Roman paced around wondering how they could get their mom off and
refused to seriously consider any of their family members suspects. They may go
through the motions to indicate otherwise, but it's pretty clear that they are
going about the whole thing with bias. So why was the mayor so impressed with
the Brady way of handling things? Because trying to look like they are doing the
right things has them exactly where he wants them and he's ready to pop up at
any moment and mirror their hypocrisy.
Abe and Lexi brought Theo to the park. They left him with the babysitter so they
could go and talk about his mayoral campaign. Mayor Marino popped up again, this
time to threaten to expose the skeletons in their closet. Lexi gave him the
voodoo stare (where's her mother anyway?). They returned to the park right after
Theo had run off. They freaked out and expected the worst. It turned out more
monstrous than they could imagine: Little Theo ran off to the arms of Chelsea.
But really, they should worry. There's another killer on the loose in Salem and
he'll start popping up soon. Of course, this person may have offed Trent, rather
arbitrarily or deliberately, and will begin offing more people as time plods on.
Murders on Days are always a tricky thing since people so often return from the
dead, but what's interesting to watch about them is the way they often cast an
unflattering eye on so many of the characters.
which, it was nice to see Trent in a flashback berating his little witch of a
daughter. She brandished a knife a lot and then, after snapping out of her
flashback, tried hiding her departed father's wallet in arch-enemy Stephanie's
purse. She even roped Philip over to her cause, imploring him to help her and
batting her eyelashes with frivolity. Since Philip seems sexually frustrated at
the moment, he's trying to act gallant, unlike when he has regular sex and acts
nonchalant. He offered to dig around for her and she spilled her purse on him so
now he knows that she had her father's wallet. Mel is sort of settling into the
grooves of Salem pretty well. Although she seems to be lingering on jumping into
a rehash of one previous plot or another, maybe she'll leap into something new.
Maybe she and Philip can hook up. Poor Philip, but he and Melanie do share a
similar twinkle in their eyes and smirk with equal bravado. Philly seems
slightly interested and then there could a strange romantic polygon:
Chloe-Philip-Melanie-Nick, and maybe a few other people thrown in. I'm guessing
it will be square though.
a spazz at EJ. She needed a big commitment from him and tried to forbid him to
see Sami. Even she realized this was quite a leap, after all, he and Nicole have
never even had a real date, just talked about having them. Both characters were
written strangely this week. He seemed cold and distant, highly distracted by
something which seemed totally unrelated to what was happening. She was needy
and corny, sort of like Sami, but Sami is rarely corny. She's usually too highly
strung and Nicole is usually too drunk. Unlike most soap characters, they
actually become less maudlin under those conditions. Whether this strange way of
writing them makes them complex or incoherent is anyone's guess. Maybe it's all
hormones (but what's EJ's excuse?). Sami discovered that Nicole is having EJ's
baby. Like EJ, she had to wait and hear her blurt it out to him after telling
half the cast. All of the puking that Nicole and Sami did around pub apparently
didn't tip her off. Why hasn't Sami been sick before by the way? Didn't she get
knocked up first. Nicole's been leaving puddles all around the pub for weeks.
still wants to go through with the divorce since 'real' John is still nowhere to
be found. I guess she'll never get the disc back. Part of me imagines they're
using the information on it to write the scripts for the show. Oh, and Nick got
berated for drunk driving and Daniel was frustrated by Kate because she didn't
want to die in a hospital bed. I guess he won't let her foil his plan that
easily because next week he's going to take her to bed and check out more than
just her vitals. Will the good doctor be both kinky and health conscious and ask
her to wear an oxygen mask while they do the deed? Meanwhile, Nick and Melanie
will be sharing a kiss. Does she actually have feelings for him or is this some
extraordinarily complex plan she's launching? John finally signs the divorce
papers but this more than likely is far from the finish line. Other couples in
town will prove equally problematic. Nicole and EJ aren't being brought together
exactly as she had hoped. He accuses her of exploiting her pregnancy for gain.
Out in the land without indoor plumbing, Sami will be leaping into Lucas digs.
How will Chloe feel about sharing the love shack? And the aforementioned
murderer will be poking around and making his presence felt.
Sami): Take a load off and I do mean a load. Are you gaining weight or just
(after being sick): What happened to you?
Sami (after also being sick): Your perfume made me nauseous.
need a friend. Do I seem like a person who isn't capable of normal emotion?
September 26, 2008
This week, Nicole reminded us that Salem smells like dead fish and garbage.
Honestly, it never really occurred to me how much Salem must stink. Between the
fishing, the dead bodies, the almost non-existent street maintenance, and the
green beer vomit that comes from the Brady pub, it's got to be unpleasant. With
ambiance like that, no wonder she keeps vomiting in bushes all over town. Is she
just sick at the thought of losing all that money? Bo and Hope finally pushed
her secret out and exposed her marriage with Trent to Victor. He found it
extraordinarily funny. It's been a long time since he was grinning that smugly.
I like Nicole, but it was still nice to see. Although she keeps blaming
Caroline's chowder on her condition, everyone watching assumes by now that she
is pregnant. Even she seems to assume it, despite the fact that she can't get
pregnant. But after last week's decision to have a day long fantasy flashback,
any decision TPTB make can only look reasonable in comparison. On the whole, it
was not a terribly eventful week. Instead, it was a week about preparing for
something to happen.
hallucinating while Anna talked to him. He had a seizure and was taken to the
hospital. Marlena and Kayla stared at x-rays of his brain and didn't know what
to think. Rolf broke the news to Stefano that John will soon die, or his brain
will explode, or something along those lines. Stefano doesn't seem to care much
about John anymore. I don't know if I should be optimistic about this change.
I'll try. But my guess is that we are going to get a replay of the pawn plot
with someone else. Maybe with Brady when he comes back, but more on that later.
up her job as Chief of Staff so she could spend more time with Theo and then
went to see her father and gave the typical DiMera child rant that they've been
giving since the 80's. Stefano seemed a bit bored. She went home and discovered
that Abe has finally perked up his backbone and quit his job so that he can go
after Stefano beyond the confines of the law. I guess that's why he may be
running for Mayor in the next election. Much of the rest of the week involved
people trying to avoid getting Abe's job. Fearing the devious Mayor would put a
DiMera crony in his old seat, Abe tried to convince Roman. He didn't want it.
Then he tried to convince Bo. He didn't want it. Then they tried to convince
Hope. She didn't want it. Then they tried to convince Bo again. Why didn't they
want it? Because they were afraid of paperwork, afraid they'd actually have to
obey the law and Hope was afraid she wouldn't be able to spend time with the
daughter who she never spends time with in the first place.
week concluded on a more somber note. The death of Trent, which has been hinted
at for weeks, finally came. Now don't get me wrong, Trent was a nasty bastard,
but that's what I liked about him. And he wasn't nasty in a convoluted DiMera
sort of way, but in the more down-to-earth way that only a sleazy physicist is
allowed to be. I don't particularly care who killed him, though the show has
gone to great lengths to spread the pool of possible killers as widely as
possible. They've also gone out of their way to make him unlikable, throwing
away any credibility the story originally had. There was more complexity to the
character originally, and hints that they could have actually ingrained him into
people's lives more, maybe even made him slightly pitiable. That would have been
at least marginally daring. But the cheap exposure of him as an abuser, when
Nicole seemed to hint at so much more, was pathetic and exploitational. If
you're going to do sleaze, go all the way. And if you're going to have
flashbacks, why couldn't they have flashed back to Trent and Nicole's seedy life
together. I do care, however, that Trent is dead. For one thing, he is yet
another in a long line of dead end plots which have been shabbily built up and
abruptly dropped. For another, and more importantly, I actually enjoyed the
character. That was mostly due to Roscoe Born, one of the most hard working and
talented actors to ever grace Daytime. Every sentence he spit out was coaxed
full of acerbic venom and a wonderfully raw, anguished undertone which few
actors in the genre ever successfully muster. Like most good soap villains, and
even when they are being written at their most cartoonish, he can fill up a
single scene with more depth than most 'heroic' characters do in a whole career.
To top it off, the people he was battling, namely his 'reject', 'loser',
offspring, are genuinely boring characters. Every character the guy sneered at
was less intriguing than his grimace. Just watching him tear into Max and giggle
when he threatened him was a joy.
the whole whodunit plot will get under way. Caroline is locked up looking
guilty, Max and Melanie bumble around looking guilty, and everyone else runs
around looking guilty since they usually are guilty of something. Morgan is
continuing on her long goodbye. She'll catch Philip with his lips on Chloe. Is
the diva missing the lips of young Kiriakis, or just weighing her options now
that she knows being a mommy isn't for her? Meanwhile, Nicole has spit up enough
that she realizes she must be with child and Kate spits up more blood.
exciting news, the official word came down today that Galen Gering and Eric
Martsolf, best known as Luis and Ethan from Passions, will be coming to Salem.
Gering will be an FBI agent and Eric will be Brady Black. More than a few
already suspect that Brady will be returning to become Stefano's new pawn. This
could be good, or it could just feel like retreading, we'll see. At any rate, he
already has plenty of experience playing a mindless man who is endlessly bossed
around. I'll admit that I'm thrilled to see them both coming back to Daytime,
this may even slightly ease the pain I still feel from Passions withdrawal, but
I worry that this could be another sign of the erratic plotting the show has
been suffering from. One after another, they just drop characters and subplots
in and let them quickly evaporate, re-tooling things as they go without any
sense of direction. There's something very random about the way the show has
been working. Maybe it's always been that way but the distractions now are fewer
and the seams show more. At least Martsolf's role will already be ingrained in
the show's history so that could anchor things. Now, if only they could bring
Ben Masters in...
are coughing up blood, which is the sign of a serious illness!
was two people reaching out for a little warmth.
Chelsea: It sounds really touching.
Don't worry. The board knows Eleanor is just a constipated busybody with too
much time on her hands.
How could my children be so stupid?
Trent's lines! Particularly when he told Max that he could drink all of the
green beer in the world and still wouldn't be a Brady.
September 12, 2008
felt bad for EJ this week. 'Bad' isn't the word, I felt his pain, I guess would
be more accurate. And what is his pain: Only the most excruciating thing in
Salem — Sami. EJ and the two blonde women in his life kicked each other around
for a good part of Wednesday's show. It was entertaining. His eyes almost burst
out of his head because he is so fed up with it. Nicole painted him as a drama
queen and Sami annoyed him so much he seemed ready to burst into tears. He even
started calling himself Allie's daddy; even Sami started saying that she was
'our' baby, but she quickly stopped that when he refused to fix her problems for
her. After the cursory pouting, Sami decided to ignore a court order and ran off
to the wilderness, well, the Horton cabin, to give a teddy bear to her daughter.
She was shocked to find Allie alone (Chloe had slipped a few feet away to wash
her hair) and started to go into panic mode. EJ tracked her down and tried to
calm her but Lucas and Chloe caught her there and so did the police. After Sami
ran out of Salem, Nicole had called them to suggest that someone was kidnapping
baby Allie. Nicole (a.k.a Misty Circle, and what kind of porn name is 'Misty
Circle' anyway? It sounds like a Celtic girl band) spent the rest of the week
being unusually perky for her sober self, dispensing insults and talking about
her renewed self-respect.
back in Salem, where people usually shower in the co-ed locker room at the
hospital, Lucas' brother Philip was trying to get things back on track with
Morgan since her father came back and then promptly left for prison. They shared
a sweet kiss but, I fear, it will all be for naught now that Kristen Renton will
be departing from her role. I didn't care for Morgan at first, but she grew on
me a bit. For months, however, the writers seemed confused about how to use her
and they wasted her with some bland pouting and completely asinine fantasy
sequences about Philip. I mean, really, that frequently repeated dance sequence?
I know nuns who are more naughty and still manage to remain chaste. She probably
still plays with her My Little Ponies. Does this departure mean that Philip will
be putting all of his energy back into the business? Perhaps that's what
Victor's little business talk with him this week was in preparation for. Or
perhaps he will take Tony and EJ's offer to join them in an all out war on John.
Once they take him out, Stefano will be next. At least, that's the 'plan'. But
Tony really doesn't have much of a plan. He just keeps changing his suits and
bumbling around the mansion with Anna, chewing on his words. Perhaps, in moving
the brothers in with their father, they are slowly transforming the boys into
the adolescents that we never got to see them as.
And how is
the war going? EJ says, "It's not a bloody laugh riot!" But it sort of is. While
eavesdropping on his father, and this seems to be the extent of Tony and EJ's
ability to be underhanded these days, Tony heard Stefano propose marriage to
Kate. Of course, if Kate married Stefano, that would make her EJ's new mother-in
law. How would he feel about having his former conference table romance as his
mom? Better yet, how would Sami feel having Kate at the mansion. They seem to
have taken a page out of the Bold and the Beautiful's playbook. I don't know if
this should be exciting or just, I don't know, kind of gross. Mind you, I like
Kate and she's in an awkward position right now. She's at loose ends. After the
horribly handled Daniel affair, she seems to be coming down with some sort of
disease, which is not new territory for her and which is why this is so
disappointing. Other people have been feeling sick as well. Nicole was ill, some
may suggest pregnant as was Chloe, though she put her nausea down to traveling
by boat. I'm trying not to think about this. The last thing this show needs
right now is more children.
France, we finally learned some more about Melanie and her father. Trent, who we
know is a gambling addict (yes, heavy irony: Trent the math whiz can't work the
numbers), asked his daughter, who is practically bankrupting him to pay for
booze and clothes, to have a drink with a man in exchange for erasing his debt.
She wasn't pleased. It wasn't a drink that was expected of course. Melanie
seemed more insulted by the fact that she was doing this to pay off his debts
(which are, in fact, largely hers) than anything else. Dispensing her
'attentions' on men is essentially how she's been paying most of her bills
lately. Max didn't see it that way, of course, even though everyone else figured
it out. Max the math genius tallied up the situation and decided that the only
way to solve his problems was to kill his father. Anyway, back to the 'plot'. He
ran off to rescue his sister (how he found her was not explained) and Nick was
shot in the fracas. She went to the hospital and pouted at him before offering
him a kiss. Chelsea stood around being green eyed. Melanie suddenly decided she
would go back to Salem after all. Back home, a jealous John punched out Trent in
the pub while he was on a dysfunctional date with Marlena. John's really lost it
over the past few weeks and, frankly, it's making less sense now than anything
they've ever done with the character. John is just becoming a sort of Bermuda
triangle where storylines float to and vanish: Paul, Ava and now Trent.
things get nastier for Trent and his brood in preparation what has been hyped as
the big fall whodunit. Theo continues to melt down and so does his father. Abe
throws a fit and chucks his badge away. This could have something to do with the
Mayor sticking his head into police business. Marlena tells Sami to grow up. She
eats mushrooms to make her grow. No, I'm kidding, Sami wouldn't do anything that
EJ: I was not put on this planet to fix your problems, Samantha. Nor you,
Nicole, so just leave me out of it. I've got my own problems to deal with!
you like the idea of 'us'?
I’m not giving up. I'm letting you go.
EJ: I can't
help but be attracted to you. It's a matter of biology.
(watching EJami): I want to change the channel.
Why can't things just be simple and good?
Trent) If you need money talk to the shrink inside. Maybe she'll pay you to be a
you need help, just scream.
August 29, 2008
Strangely enough, with the Olympics over and last week's hallucinations
now a thing of the past, getting back to Days regular storylines was somehow
unrefreshing. Maybe that's because the almost pointless, though pleasurable,
meandering of last week had fewer flashbacks and likely will rarely be flashed
back to in the future. One of the things that made Nicole's film noir fantasy
sweet was that we would never have to go through it again... and again. It's not
as "green" as the current Bo plot, which is so filled with recycled flashbacks,
he must have shaved in a bid to further clarify what was past and what present.
With the concentration on the hospital set over, the plot lines are now spread
all over the globe and just as discontinuous as before. Suddenly, it appears as
though Bo's tabloid outing was practically planned. He didn't actually destroy
evidence, only a copy of the evidence to flush John out. Paul conveniently
escaped from John's dungeon and is running around in the shadows. Roman, once
again agrees to do what the Salem PD does best - bend the rules. Proving once
again that even the mob have higher ethical standards than the cops.
And speaking of questionable
ethics.... Chelsea and Daniel were delayed from consummating their relationship
at an "inopportune" time, although it gave them enough time for a gratuitous
shirtless scene from the good doctor. Now, thanks to a thoughtless text message
from Kate, the truth about them is out. The expected Chelsea eruption followed,
although with less of the customary flailing; I suppose she's matured. He and
Kate apologized profusely. Chelsea whimpered; everyone is miserable. After what
happened between Nick and Billie, I feel bad for Chelsea; the poor girl must be
getting a complex. Please let her go crazy and start abducting things... there's
nothing else Days does so well. Meanwhile, Daniel has grown on me... a bit, but
more in the way a room deodorizer or elevator music does than an interesting
character. Maybe it was all that talk of surfing, or the slight gravel in his
voice, but when he's on screen I feel like I'm listening to one of those white
noise/sound of the sea tapes. Things were played a little thick when he was
introduced, but he's settled more now and would look good in a relationship with
Lexi, or even Kate for that matter. But this relationship mess wasn't the only
one dwelt upon this week.
"Oh my Gosh... that's not what
I want," Marlena said after 'android' John professed that he may have feelings
for her... if he can only figure out what the feelings are. It may have just
been me, but for some reason, I laughed aloud when Marlena uttered that
rejection. After their entire Frankenstein love story, you would think that
attempting to abort its future would at least merit a little blasphemy. Instead,
she made gestures to getting back with Roman. He almost blushed and brought up
their past romance, which was nice since it was as much of a part of her as John
has been. John kept trying to take her home. She backed him off. He went away to
sulk and then came searching the next day, tearing around town to find her. She
showed up at work, which is unusual, and John tracked her down. They had sex in
the office, one of the perks of being your own boss. But I find this new shift
in John's character completely unbelievable and really, sort of depressing. He
claims the gas did something to his brain, or whatever is left of one.
Meanwhile, across the ocean...
the France story is slowly winding down. I have mixed feelings about this. I
enjoy it when Days goes on the road. Contact with real places clarifies a lot
about what "reality" Salem is part of. Melanie is growing on me a bit (so long
as she isn't turned into another Chelsea), and certainly more than her brother
and his female companion. Somehow Max and Stephanie seem to have gotten more tan
while sitting in their jail cell. He's also managed to acquire more chemistry
with any woman who walks by than he has with Steph. Seeing spoiled little rich
girl Tiffany plant one on him bordered on the cute. Anyway, Max and Steph got
out thanks to a little help from Nick who prodded Melanie to get them released.
She obviously has a thing for his wallet, though Nick's fortune is still largely
theoretical at the moment. But what was intriguing in this plot this week, was
when we saw Trent actually bickering with someone on the phone about keeping his
children apart. It's unclear why he wants this, and even less clear why anyone
else should care, but Trent seems desperate, otherwise he wouldn't have roped
Steve Johnson PI into this.
The DiMeras are finally moving
back into a potentially interesting plot. With Tony preparing to battle John
and, perhaps his father, I have a feeling of optimism. Everyone is moving back
into the mansion, slowly but surely. Maybe that's why Lucas is so eager to leave
with Allie. Even Mickey thinks he might have a shot. Sami might not have his
criminal record, but its hard to imagine you could even convince a jury in Salem
that she is a fit mother.
Next week we can look forward
to Tony trying to move the family in a new direction; Victor and Stefano going
in an old direction; City Hall proving to be as corrupt as Salem PD; Abe telling
Daniel to stay away from Lexi and Nicole and John teaming up to go after Trent
when he starts to make a play for Marlena.
Lines of the Week:
John: If it's the cigars, I'll
go outside to smoke.
John: Thoughts in your
brain... bold new concept.
John: I've been doing some
thinking myself and, when the gas hit, I realized I care about you.
August 15, 2008
To start with: Days was fun this week. I haven't said that for awhile,
but the show was actually consistently enjoyable. Most of the credit for this
belongs to the DiMeras - all four of them. Virtually the entire week has been
concentrated in the hospital. Surprisingly, the show is usually its most
effective when it is at its most reductive; when it limits the sights and cast.
It wasn't always like that and it's hardly a healthy situation for a series with
a broad ensemble, but for the past year or so, less tends to be more.
There was a good reason for
things to be so concentrated this time. Everyone was locked on the unlucky
seventh floor of the hospital. While they began to freak out, things were
complicated by the mysterious, hallucinogenic vapors Stefano released. He
stalked around the halls gloating and threatening revenge. I know, it's all
cheesy and ludicrously over the top. Even the writers seem to know it; After
all, isn't that why they have characters saying they feel like they are in some
cheap slasher film? However, I prefer this cheesiness to last week's wedding.
Mind you, the flashback to Bo's mullet were probably more frightening that this
week really was, but I digress... It's DOOL. If I didn't think everyone involved
knows how silly it is, I don't think I could laugh without feeling mean.
It's nice to have Stefano
back. I can already take issue with certain details, but I'm going to reserve
judgment and just enjoy him, hoping that he isn't turned into a caricature of
his former self (which is what they did the last time they brought him back).
Already, since he's woken up, the dialog has become quicker and more amusing and
I'm optimistic this will continue. His repartee with his family members was
enjoyable all around. I'd like to see his relationship with Tony and their past
fleshed out a great deal more. I felt a bit cheated last time around. But I'm
really looking forward to he and John battling it out, because it shouldn't be
like any of the previous times this has happened.
Ejami fans may have gotten a
boost when Sami admitted she has more than the occasional carnal itch for EJ. He
kept probing until, finally, her admission about her admission was more telling
than what she admitted: "You were on the floor and I thought I had killed you
and a lot of things came into play. Anything is possible. I'm sorry I can't
promise you more than that." Is that complicated? or idiotic and meaningless?
With Sami and EJ, it's always hard to tell and the whole thing may have just
been the byproduct of the gas they were huffing. But, as I've argued in the past
and as Tony explained months ago, EJ's feelings for Sami are predicated on his
love for his father and she is merely a vessel for this expression. Stefano
fleshed this out a bit this week when he, or Sami's hallucination of him, began
gushing about breeding the future of the family. Sami is ideal for this of
course, because she is Marlena's daughter and EJ's pursuit of Sami is only a
continuation of Stefano's pursuit of Marlena. What does Stefano's return mean
for them, just as they were falling apart? I don't know, but watching Sami and
EJ's relationship continue is a greater torture than anything else Stefano could
come up with. Poor Nicole. No wonder she has to run off to a completely random
and convoluted fantasy sequence next week.
The other thing the week
brought out once again was the fact that Marlena is, in many respects, a double
to her enemy. Not only is John basically a pawn to both of them and who both of
them have used and manipulated for decades, but they are moral equivalents,
something which they point to with endless irony. They are also doubled in their
children and their children mirror one another. That's where whatever attraction
exists among any of them has come from. Attraction via narcissism when manic;
repulsion stemming from self-hatred when depressive. They each re-double their
vows to put each other through Hell, or profess their other feelings, which are
essentially euphemisms for the same thing. I can't help but not feel sorry for
any of them. None of them are victims and none of them have any redeeming
qualities — some of them just have more class than others.
Next week, we can look forward
to a much-hyped black and white fantasy from Nicole, in which she and the other
young Salemites will couple and uncouple in some vintage clothing while looking
smashing in some high contrast photography. But there will also be some plot
movement: Nicole will be pushing EJ about his feelings for her and she'll be
getting far more active in her pursuit of the blinking lawyer. We'll get to
watch her team up with Chloe to make Sami's life a living hell, which, in DOOL
logic, must mean they really like her. Marlena's dead twin returns to give her
sister some advice. Since the living people in her life have such a shoddy
relationship with reality, this might not actually be a bad thing. And the
battle among the DiMeras will go into full force while each of them takes a side
- and even two sides at once - in a bid to outdo each other.
Lines of the Week:
Philip (to Nicole): If EJ can accept Sami, you shouldn't have a problem.
Stefano (to John): I can
reboot you and your metamorphosis will be complete.
John: Are you functional?
John: I was Stefano's personal
Sami: As soon as they find out
what Stefano did to my mother, I hope John kills him.
August 1, 2008
Philip was shot. He tossed himself in front of Morgan when one of Ava's
goons tried to level a shot at her. I guess this proves he's noble, or perhaps
just that he has a talent for being shot or mangled by weaponry. If much more of
the poor guy's flesh gets shot away, he will be on the road to becoming a bionic
man. Maybe he can hire Rolf to help him out with that... That would likely be
more entertaining than watching Morgan's perpetual weeping. I know she misses
her father and loves Philip, but it's reached the point that it has just become
maudlin. I had some hopes for the Philip-Morgan pairing. They're both cute and
there's something tender between them, certainly something more sincere than in
their relationships with anyone else. This is boring though and as far as
passion goes, her expressions of affection are more reminiscent of a little girl
longing for her missing My Little Pony than an adult romance.
Hospital-bedside-romance is an even more overused situation than
trapped-in-the-elevator-sex and nowhere near as fun.
The southern belle might be crying over something else soon however....
Want to read
more? Catch the rest of Matt's Musings at
SOF's new blog spot!
July 18, 2008
This week was a bit of a mixed bag. I actually have
to scratch my head a little to remember everything that happened. That may be
because I'm getting old, or maybe it's because there are always so many
flashbacks. While there is still no grand summer plot in sight, at least there
has been some movement in a possibly worthwhile direction. This week we saw the
glimmering return of the old EJ. Although he's always hovered somewhere beneath
the surface, he finally seems ready to come back as what he was to begin with: A
real DiMera. I hope that pie in the face finally settled things for him.
everyone seemed to acknowledge this week was the problem of Sami. After the
dysfunctional pair repeated their usual argument, EJ went a step further,
saying, "This environment is not conducive to the raising of a child. It's not
the life I want for my son." Sami's eyes boggled. She's already fought hard and
dirty to be a virtually absent mother of a dysfunctional child once, she can do
it again. EJ continued his analysis: "I know you love him as much as you hate
me. I think your hatred for me will eventually lead to resentment toward
Johnny." He was actually right: She is an unfit mother and shouldn't be allowed
anywhere near children or even the immature men in her life for that matter. And
then he repeated how irrational she is (and she is) and she repeated her threats
against him. Hopefully this will end it, but I don't have much hope. Anyway,
after leaving Sami, the pawn in his love affair with his father, behind, EJ
promptly ran to Uncle John so he can play son to him.
Marlena and Roman also mused on the problem of Sami. Roman, wisely, said she
would be better off without the two men in her life. Marlena, manically as
always, had other things on her mind. Perhaps she is still projecting her own
failed relationships with men on her daughter. She said as much herself, even
suggesting that Sami's problems were all her fault. So why can't she learn from
her own daughter's mistakes since she certainly never learns from her own. After
this moment of clarity, the doctor abruptly started travelling down the
Frankenstein route again and is recruiting, or blackmailing, poor Rolf back into
his old profession so she can John's brain back.
secret haunting Ms. Roberts came out this week: Kate and the doctor had a bit of
a fling, if it amounted to that much. They were "there" for each other, but
there wasn't much "there" anywhere to be seen. Why this wasn't actually given
the plot time it merited is beyond me. Seeing him and Kate is certainly less
boring that he and Chelsea. But it's a rather disappointing and humdrum. I know
Kate seems to sleep with everyone, but if they were going to do this, couldn't
they have put it in their distant pasts or even taken the sleazy route and had
the doctor two time Chelsea with her grandmother.
Max ran off
to France to search for his sister. Steph pouted, told her dad to stop being
over-protective, donned a beret and ran after him. Trent found out and is
miffed. On the train in France, a paparazzo cornered Max and snapped his shot.
Apparently, he's still a star over there... or maybe there's more to it than
that. The most exciting thing in this plot was the little map they keep showing
with Max traveling over it. That's cute. Why can't they do that all the time?
finally found out what Paul left behind: A package full of cash with a "generic"
letter. She and Philip waited in line at the post office for most of an episode
only to be greeted by a lazy postal work played by crazy Norma from "Passions".
She was reluctant, but searched around and got it for them. I'm hesitant to be
so descriptive about this, but this is about as much tension as they put into
the show these days. Before Philip and Morgan could open it, Bo and Abe caught
them and took the package to the station. They looked in and found the money,
only Bo had enough police skill to actually look through the entire package. He
soon discovered a tape recording of Philip threatening Paul. It wasn't long
before Victor and Kate found out about it. Victor guilted his son into giving it
up and now it's in Kate's possession.
Now we can
look forward to: Someone flatlining; Max being blackmailed; Lucas and Chloe
continuing to cuddle; Nicole revealing more than her body to EJ; and a bunch of
Ava: John and I kept things PG-13.
Nicole: What is the point of foreplay if you're not gonna play? I don't get it.
Remember, you're doing this for Allie.
Lucas: I just hope the next time she sees me it isn't at my funeral.
love each other and Stephanie just wants to be there with him on his journey.
It's not like they are going to Somalia or taking up cave diving, right?
EJ: So you
can start your life with Lucas?
Sami: He's the love of my life.
EJ: He's also in prison.
June 20, 2008
outsmarted Lucas this week. She figured out that he managed to sneak away
without anyone noticing. Lucas has been relatively quiet this week outside of
his newfound bond with the former opera singer. One would almost assume that
prison taught Lucas a few tricks about how to be conniving, if it wasn't for the
fact that Chloe is a step ahead of him. I suppose this proves that Sami is even
dumber than both of them. After all, she still has feelings for EJ, a man so
vapid he makes Nicole look deep. This is the secret of the Nicole and EJ
pairing, perhaps the most exciting pairing for EJ since he was bedding Kate.
When Nicole looks into EJ, she sees the void staring back at her and this allows
her a depth that she doesn't know with anyone else. As soon as she starts
looking into EJ's face, that darkness wells up. She's struggling with
drunkenness and a lascivious past; he struggles through the ambiance of idiocy
that he thrives in. It was a pleasant surprise to see her get his shirt off and
then send him packing, refusing to be a cheap distraction for him.
of EJ was finally unlocked this week by his brother. Tony proved himself to be
the cleverest shrink in Salem when he unpacked EJ's skull. The real reason that
Elvis is so obsessed with Samantha, he explained over a martini, is because of
his love for Stefano. It's a detail which has often been forgotten: The whole
Ejami thing is part of Stefano's last plot to destroy the Brady's and, far from
their relationship reconciling the two families, it ended up destroying them.
After all, the Brady's are more disparate, desperate and aimless now than
they've ever been. Nothing much is binding them together. What binds EJ to Sami
is his love of his father and his loathing of himself for being a failure to his
father. If Ejami is really a love story, it's the love story of EJ and Stefano
and the child they perversely created together. Sami is just a tool that
conjures EJ's nostalgic fantasy for a time with his father that he never really
knew. That's what the Santo-Colleen malarky was really about.
Marlena have decided to begin again...again. Watching the plots for these
characters is starting to feel like watching EJ talk, it's just twitches and
stuttering with an occasional quip to distract from the mess. It's not that
there's something incoherent about it, on the contrary, it's too coherent. It's
as coherent as a brick wall. But what really annoys me, more superficially
perhaps, is that this means the John-Ava story will go nowhere. It's a shame,
because they have more actual chemistry than he's had with Marlena in years.
There was a palpable pleasure in their scenes which had nothing to do with the
infusion of nostalgia or tragicomedy that fills his scenes with Marlena. He
reached out to Ava this week and she brought her mob knowledge and power to work
as they abducted and intimated Paul. They brought an enjoyable balance to the
scene, part malice, part charm. After all of the talk of beginning a new life,
we are quickly heading back to the old...again.
reveal of the week was Dean Robbins coming out and admitting that he was Max's
father. Although there are some very serious weaknesses in this plot, I'm just
happy to see Roscoe Born on the screen. He's long been one of my favorite soap
actors and I'm glad to see him do anything. It's unfortunate that he tends to be
typecast, but he's so very good at being nasty. To put the icing on the cake,
he's got a past with Nicole, a nasty past. Does she know anything about the lost
sister Max is looking for? Will she turn out to be his long lost sister or
mother? Are these two plots completely unrelated? The less intriguing aspect of
the story is actually Max and Stephanie. They've quickly come to suggest a
deranged version of an aging and miserable married couple. Is this because they
were both pushed into early retirement from their careers? For months Max has
been trying to be a little old man; perhaps Shawn's soul jumped into his body
and possessed him? He seems to be reacting to reuniting with his past much the
same way Shawn did when the Colleen-Santo thing was dug up. I guess they deserve
credit for pulling a radical SORAS without actually aging the actors, just their
less inspiring this week: Phillip and Chloe continue their "arrangement"
although she has feelings for him. He says he has feelings for her but obviously
has feelings for Morgan as well. Daniel finally asked Chelsea out. Kate is
appalled and refuses to let him operate on her. Is there something she knows
that no one's saying. Didn't she tell him that he would have to tell Chelsea the
truth about something?
Chelsea: Daniel is a gentleman, but a girl can dream.
(offering Marlena dinner) What would you like: French? Italian? Inuit?
EJ: I don't
know why I want to be around here anyway. She infuriates me. If she wasn't the
mother of my child I'd wring her bloody neck.
Lucas: Yeah, I know exactly how you feel.
know John is capable of bad decisions.
June 6, 2008
Most of this week seemed redundant. Even when trying
to collect my thoughts, they keep getting mixed up with past weeks or past
plots. Lucas is back, but now in an odd position as the odd man out, living down
the hall from Sami. Something is seriously missing though. He's as bitter,
paranoid and repetitive as ever, Sami is as whiny, needy and defensive, EJ is as
smarmy, obvious and manipulative - watching them interact, it's almost as if
these three characters actually know each other less well than they did
before. Maybe they do... maybe Sami's bouts of amnesia, Lucas' alcoholic
blackouts and EJ's recent drunken blackout don't have anything to do with booze
or mental instability but are merely essential parts of their characters that
allow them to tolerate themselves and others by never developing anything more
than the most superficial relationship with anything. I wasn't a fan of this
triangle the first time around. The only thing I enjoyed about it previously was
watching Kate cringe at her son's stupidity and Lucas' continual vows to change
his name. At least Kate stuck her head in this week, albeit briefly. Even for a
perpetual troublemaker, Kate seemed bored.
Nicole are getting closer, which is swell, because, unless he's drunk, he's a
lot less entertaining. "Lucas is a boy," says EJ, "He doesn't know how to look
after a woman. He put a bullet in my back like a coward. I haven't forgotten
about that. I told Sami I forgave him just to woo her." That's the old EJ, the
one who obviously went to school reading Jacobean tragedies and knows the value
of hypocrisy. This is the real EJ and love has nothing to do with his motives.
It's spite and loathing; everything else is just theatre. At least, for the
moment, the character is getting back to his old consistency. That's not exactly
true for Nicole unfortunately who, when she isn't pouting or making jokes about
alcohol, seems quite lost. I know that's part of her position right now,
allowing her the opportunity to jump into one of the several plots she's
peripherally involved in, I just wish she would get a little more focus. With
focus, she might actually be dangerous and that's what the show needs right now.
The lack of
real threats was obvious this week in the little Joe episode. Sick babies are
always an easy ploy, but this one vanished almost as soon as it came. This has
been a consistent problem with Kayla's character ever since she wanted to get
pregnant. There has been a desperate attempt to give her drama and despite
throwing a series of melodramatic standbys like abduction and a troubled,
premature labor at her, nothing seems to materialize. Plots just keep dying
around the woman.
And now to
another character whose plots quickly go nowhere: Chelsea seems to have realized
she's made a horrible mistake by dumping Nick for Daniel the non-committal
surfer. "I'm not discussing this with you. It just seems sneaky and weird not to
tell you," was what the doctor offered as his non-explanation in addition to
saying that he was seeing someone he couldn't see but isn't really seeing her...
at least not anymore, if he was in the first place. I might have missed a nuance
that would have made it all make sense; I was continually distracted by him
making bedroom eyes at Lexi. That's a pairing that I could stomach. Poor Lexi
has been in just as much of a black hole since they pulled her out of the
basement as she was when she was down there. At least an affair would be better
than her and Abe bickering about their Mohawked child. All of the actors have
been sleepwalking through this plot. It's like watching an episode of the
"Twilight Zone" where the "mentally ill" child turns out to be the sane one and
everyone else is really crazy.
closer to the end of his tether this week. He had a few outbursts, finally
violent ones towards the end, attacking his docks supervisor and nearly coming
to fisticuffs with John. The reasons for all of this will soon be apparent. He
revealed a few details this week, particularly when he was discussing his "Rain
Man" type skill with numbers. "Genetics and sweat" is what he kept repeating and
that's all I'm going to say.
usual lately, had the more interesting moments of the week. His conversation
with Ava, though somewhat labored, was enjoyable and they played off each other
well. His confrontations with Phillip are also a pleasure to watch. If they'd
only give Philly the kind of air time they give EJ, or to Bo talking about going
green, they could really develop him into a more complicated and mischievous
Victor: "The Salem cops were just here sniffing around about the cocaine on
I'm your lab rat?"
Chloe: "More like a guinea pig."
"Nice to see you too."
Victor: "You want nice – teach kindergarten."
know a fellow mental case when I see one."
John: "More or less"
married to the Jolly Green Giant."
May 23, 2008
"It's not the 80's anymore," Tony tells Anna as he proposes to her. Of course it's not, so why does it feel like show seems so confused about it? From the 80's and onward, soaps have essentially been slow paced ultra-softcore porn for housewives. And while, since the turn of the millennium the sex scenes on most series have dwindled and don't come anywhere near to the lengthy soft focus romps of yesteryear, many viewers watch daily in giddy anticipation that a little more flesh will once again
fill their screen. That's what most of this week was about, or what it danced around. There were more double-entendres and lewd suggestions this week than in most of the past month. A nice sleazy time all around.
The centerpiece of the week was the sex scene between EJ and Sami. It was graphic enough to give Ejami fans something to oooh about and Lumi fans something to ewww about and everyone else something to shrug about or a chance to see what was on the other channels. After the two rapists got
together in a little ab and cleavage fury, Lucas arrived and quickly blew his stack at them. I can't claim that I missed Lucas and I can't even claim that his surprise return was particularly surprising or exciting. It was more like a pilot for a TV sitcom that doesn't get picked up. At least John got a few laughs at everyone else's expense. The only surprising thing was that Lucas didn't react more. By Lucas standards, the shouting and stomping was pretty mild. After bedding Sami, EJ got the bright idea to sneak away and avoid another tongue lashing. He went out to find a dank bar to think about his feelings. Is this what the DiMeras have sunk to? How I miss Stefano... not that the other members of the family are fairing much better. For example: Poor Tony and Anna. It's not the 80's anymore, it's not even the 90's, so what are she and Tony doing? While I enjoy them, I'm bewildered as to what to do with them and I don't know how much longer they can keep using them as filler between other things.
Across town, a hospital locker room got it's fair share of traditional sexual farce. Chelsea continues to corner Daniel, left in nothing but a towel, ready to be exploited by the wandering hands and lips of whoever drifts into the steamy co-ed locker room. The doctor is intimidated by her "vitality" as he puts it. After they start kissing, he shoves her in a locker and leaves her there while a woman with the scintillating name of Amber Cress comes in to make some lascivious offers to him. I wonder what
her medical specialty is? The writers are obviously playing with the age thing, ratcheting it up ridiculously. Although some people are put off by the perversity of the whole thing, but it's hard to decide if Chelsea lusting after someone old enough to be her father is more disturbing than
Daniel's thing – lusting after someone because of her sickliness. The most perverse thing about it is still, of course, the surfer talk. I can't wait for Chelsea to get an Annette Funicello hairstyle and start dancing the Luau Cha-Cha-Chá.
The other big theme of the week was whether there is more to something than meets the eye. Lexi worries that there is more to Theo being un-talkative than meets the eye and wonders if, like she and Abe, the boy needs therapy. I guess the Travis Bickle haircut she gave him didn't really register. Apparently there is also more to Max than meets the eye. At least this is the conclusion we're supposed to reach after they played variations on that line nearly half a dozen times in the past week. It seems like Max is hiding his prodigious science talents so that he can stick around the pub and help Caroline, at least that's what his grave side conversations with his father would indicate, but there must be more
to this, though I shudder to imagine what it could be. Even in a different part of the city, Nicole was playing with the same line, suggesting she was just as shallow as everyone thinks she is. EJ insists that can't be the case. He should know, he's been flipping from depravity to saintliness ever since he came on. It's the fact that characters aren't what they seem
to be that makes them so easy to change. And that's the secret to soap opera writing: The more vacuous a character is, the more plot potential they have.
Lines of the Week:
Sami (after sex with EJ): "I can't believe we just did that... but Nicole upset me."
EJ (after sex with Sami): "Were you just marking your territory?"
Bo (on violence): "Killing a guy sticks with you. Even a dirt bag like him."
Tony (proposing to Anna): "We're not the same people we were when we were young. It's not the 80's anymore. We're mature now."
Daniel (to Lexi): "I bet Abe thinks you are all that and a bag of chips,
so just go see the psychiatrist."
Sami: "That slut!"
Lucas: "Are you talking about Nicole?"
Sami: "What gave it away? "The word 'slut'?"
Lucas: "You had sex didn't you?"
Sami: "Yes, but I didn't know you were coming home."
Chloe (to Philip about Morgan): "I'd like to get to know your little girlfriend. Oooohhhh... Look! She's a college girl. Have you been trolling the campus for freshman coeds?"
Marlena: "I'm going to go up and check on Sami."
John: "Knock first. She might be 'entertaining.'"
Philip: "Friends with benefits can be tough to pull off. I don't have time for drama. But what the hell – You can be just the medicine I need."
Chloe: "The best part is it goes down really easy.
Nicole (after hearing that Lucas caught Sami in bed with EJ): "Holy mackerel! That was some welcome home."
EJ: "Actually, it was a bit of a mess."
May 9, 2008
Mob boss and all around ubergoon Martino Vitali came to town and very soon he
will be gone. I'm unsure if this is a shame or not. With Stefano gone and Victor
back, a good feud among rival crime families would be welcome, especially when
you throw a loose cannon like John into the mix. But perhaps the writers quickly
realized that they've been down similar avenues before and the mob is best left
to "General Hospital", where there isn't much of anything else. In the process,
everything's changed for Ava pretty quickly. It's an easy trick to blame drugs
for everything and suddenly transform a character into someone else. So who is
Ava going to be now and will we get a chance to see much of her? I find it
terribly hard to dislike someone who would level a shot at Hope, so, hopefully,
there will be something else worthwhile for her to do.
As for the
other newer characters: We discovered Daniel's secret, which was that,
apparently, his wife was a terminally ill patient and she died. Not a terribly
impressive secret, so I hope there will be more to it. The fact that he took her
down to die by the waves makes a rather tidy excuse for his surferisms and
explains why he refuses to hook up with Chelsea... for now anyway. He'd be
better with Kate, I think. He would even be better with Lexi, and considering
how much trouble she thinks her marriage is in, she might be priming herself for
a fling. Meanwhile, Chelsea is going back to her old self, brutally dumping
Nick, who also seems to be getting screwed over by Max who is slowly acquiring a
new and strange personality. The irony of this is that Chelsea seems to once
again be chasing a phantom. Nick seduced Chelsea from afar by pretending to be a
handsome doctor. She discovered this lie and found the "real" doctor who turned
out to be a creep. Nick saved her from the doctor and she discovered that Nick
was who she really wanted. This fantasy now seems to have returned in the person
of Daniel, but it's far from clear who he will turn out to be.
news, EJ and Nicole are in cahoots after all. He's paid her to lie to
Immigration and it's unclear exactly what else they will get up to together.
It's very nice. Finally a little more of the evil EJ, even if it's evil of the
boring variety. Using Nicole to make Sami jealous is cringe-worthy on many
levels, but Nicole still makes the pair more amusing than they are on their own.
To be honest, I could care less what he does to Sami, as long as he does it in
an underhanded and evil way. Why can't he just get Rolf to reprogram her or
stick Kate's brain in her body? Instead, Sami continues to move toward a Lucas
level of blatant stupidity. If the flashbacks this week reminded us of anything
other than John and Marlena's old hairstyles, they should have reminded us of
what a devious and vindictive creature Sami is. What happened to the cruel and
scheming Sami of old? When they magically aged Will did they accidentally start
aging her backwards? Beneath her thin maternal veneer, she seems less mature now
than she did when she was teenager.
central scene of this week was when Sami, wearing a pair of large monkey
slippers, sat down to psychoanalyse both herself and John. I'm not sure if she
got her lessons from her mother or Dr. Nussbaum, I'm not even sure which would
be worse, but Sami passes the test as a daytime shrink, handing out the regular
advice and excuses; they even gave her glasses to do it with. But the whole
conversation between them was an important one, not just for John but for "DOOL"
itself. After all, if you keep bringing back the past in flashbacks, how do you
move on? Isn't it better to forget and abandon the past, something the show
always tries to do but never completely manages. Some soap operas don't require
a suspension of disbelief, they require recurring amnesia. That's the thing that
makes John's role so interesting now. Not only is he Mr. Amnesia, he also serves
to center everything around him. In spite of the fact that, as a person, he's
completely inconsistent, it's only his present which changes dramatically as he
re-imagines himself, whereas everyone's past continues to change. Up until now,
this has always made him easy to manipulate, whether by Stefano, Victor or
Marlena. Now he's become far more creative. Maybe Sami, also a remarkably
inconsistent character and frequent amnesiac, could learn a few things from
Nicole: "I don't know what I'll do if Pookie leaves me."
you will have me."
"Daniel told me he was going to marry her in the hospital. That night she took a
turn for the worse."
at this place. There is no sign of forced entry. Either a professional or a
freeloading relative robbed me."
Sami) "I can't just exchange Pookie like you do husbands."
(imitating Charlton Heston) "You can have it when you rip it from my cold, dead
April 25, 2008
The highlight of the week was Sami punching Nicole. Not
that Nicole isn't swell, but it's so nice to see Sami get aggressive. It was
also good to see the possibility of a Morgan/Philip pairing continue to blossom.
Philly needs some love, or, at the very least, some non-Chloe-related lust, and
it should be fascinating to watch him get involved with a woman who isn't a
flake or a bimbo for once. Two other romances continued to percolate at
different speeds. Stephanie is doing her best to get over her problems and move
on with Max. Nothing new was revealed about Max's recent odd behavior, but
Stephanie certainly seems sexually frustrated. What else could explain her
wearing those white socks with that all black outfit the other day? The
Chelsea/Dr. Jonas thing also moved on. I'm afraid it will develop into a story
instead of staying in Chelsea's drug induced haze where it belongs. The most
ominous sign of the week was seeing Rolf holding John's ID disc in his hands.
Why isn't he destroying that thing? Please Rolf, before it's too late!
started to get way out of hand with the "old" and the "new" this week. Perhaps a
third of the conversations in the past week revolved around whether the old you
was the real you and the new you was not, or whether the new you was the real
you and the old one was not... or something similar. It would have been more
amusing if the conversations had employed flashbacks to different actors who
have played the parts (for those to which that applies). They didn't really play
it that way, sadly. It will be interesting to see how far they can push this
angle without resorting to the use of doppelgangers and mysteriously appearing
twin--not that either of those things are objectionable. It seems to be a
dwindling possibility, however, as the Ava plot loses the steam it had left and
Marlena tries to embrace the new John.
in all of this is really a question of how to deal with redundancy and ambiguity
and go beyond them. John Black's mysterious identity was finally solved when he
discovered that he was a DiMera. Ironically, when he discovered this, he was no
longer who he had been for years. This same theme finds a variation in Steve,
who is also the product of other character's imaginations and machinations,
though largely a cypher himself. It's a plot device they've been pulling out for
years. Usually it keeps things fresh. If you can't integrate new characters,
which is notoriously difficult, the least you can do is reinvent the old ones,
even in a ludicrous manner because--as DOOL writers have always known--history
is contingent. What's worrying is that at the moment, the show seems more intent
on creating a semblance of coherency than it's ever really bothered with before.
There was a time when the holes in logic could easily swallow entire storylines;
now the sailing is a little too smooth. For instance, the incredibly bland
problem of Ava. Patch left her, she got depressed and wanted him back... more or
less. Apparently, she suffers from "brief psychotic disorder", which is
something the show could use more of.
Marlena (to John): "Married people don't date."
Nicole): "I lost my memory not my senses. You didn't think this tasteless dress
and the painfully embarrassing come-ons would be enough to make me reveal my
affairs, did you? Who are you working for, Victor or little Philip?"
(to Max): "It's about you and me. And me and you – and how I feel about you."
"Nicole hydrates. She drinks two quarts of something a day."
"Juice without vodka is like a day without sunshine."
don't even know which brat I was holding. EJ's baby or Lucas' baby... Good thing
you didn't have triplets. Can't tell the fathers without a program."
April 11, 2008
Marlena is hell bent on getting the old John back. We
even got a glimmer that there might be something of the old John in the new
John. When he, rather gruffly and over-adamantly, asserted that he wasn't
remembering anything, something seemed to be returning... but maybe he was just
uncomfortable, which I guess anybody would be if they were under Marlena's
hypnotic control. I suspect the old John she seeks will return eventually, under
the hypnotic spell that Marlena's hair seems to cast on him, but it will be a
tragedy when that happens. What's really baffling about it all is that Marlena,
of all people, seems so convinced that there was some specific old John she
could call back up. John, if he's had any consistency over the decades, has
always been a cipher with no really stable identity, continually flirting with
new personalities. Maybe the new and wonderfully laconic John is just who John
has always been underneath it all and Marlena has become excessively superficial
and nostalgic for a past that was about as real as the erotic fantasises she
used to have about him when he was in a coma. It was rather striking that all of
the moments that she used to try to make him remember their past, were moments
when the old John was pretending to be someone he knew that he wasn't, simply in
order to please her. It was good to see that they didn't shy away from the irony
that Marlena is now taking on the role of Stefano, albeit Stefano light, and,
once again, John gets be someone's pet project.
EJ's "marriage" got a little more real thanks to Nicole waving cash in his face
to help him support his martini habit. It's hard to say if Sami is jealous or
just annoyed that Nicole seems so intent of getting into EJ's life. I just hope
she can get rid of reformed EJ and push him back into the realm of darkness. If
Chloe, Nicole and John are the most sinister people on the show right now,
something is seriously wrong...beyond the bizarre pacing. The show seems to have
returned to the John E. Reilly version of time. More time passed in the first
few minutes of Monday's show than the entire rest of the week. Not that I'm
complaining about that. I'm probably the only person in the world who would
prefer it if he was still writing the show. At least it was relatively
consistent, even when it was consistently bad, and it always seemed like
something could happen. Now it persistently seems like, whatever is going to
happen, is going to happen in some distant future and nothing much is pushing it
along. Couldn't we have gotten a few more details from Ava and her shrink this
week, or at least some ludicrously phoney TV psychiatrist talk. Ava should send
her doctor after Hope/Kayla and have her brainwashed using all the information
on her that she's culled from the internet. Then Hope could run around thinking
she was some strange version of Kayla, resulting in many uncomfortable moments
for both Bo and Steve. Or at least they could have Steve brainwashed again.
Isn't that what soap opera psychiatrists are there for? Kayla and Bo worrying in
bed is not interesting, or necessary, and the only thing exciting about
Stephanie and Max's scenes this week was that pie and cake were involved.
Sami): "I'd cry too, if you were my mother. You know... the twins having
different fathers is freakish. How does that work, anyway? You really must have
been slutting around."
Nicole): "I dislike tomatoes. I despise her."
the difference between being used by Marlena and Stefano): "He didn't look half
as good in a dress."
Nicole arriving at Chez Rouge): "Maybe I should tell Maggie to hide the
Sami): "You look... like you've just had twins."
"I'll lock you up."
Bo: "On what charge?"
Roman: "Reckless stupidity."
April 4, 2008 -
It's been bickering week on "Days". Well, that's not
entirely accurate. Bickering and inappropriate flirting seem to have been
the rule. Not that I'm complaining. While every woman in Chelsea's orbit noticed
her obvious crush on Dr. Daniel, none of them managed to stop themselves from
throwing a few double entendres his way. Kate probably has a shot with him...
Chelsea has yet to share a man with her grandmother. I
don't trust him at all, by the way. I think it's the surfer talk. I also found
it a little odd that, considering he's known Victor for most of his life and
their families are supposedly close, he suddenly needs Chelsea to explain
everything to him. Some people have suggested he may have something to do with
Ava, citing the mention that he was hired to help the troubled daughter of a
powerful Italian family. Maybe...but he also seems to be trying a little too
hard to be ignorant about fellow world-traveler Nicole.
finally gotten out of the hospital, for the most part, we have instead been
confined to a series of dining rooms. It's been wonderfully theatrical: just
when soaps seem to be moving away from their campy phoniness, "Days" maintains
the tradition. To accompany that, the chatter on the show has really been upped.
My hands hurt from typing, but little has actually happened this week. Whoever
is writing the dialog is really outdoing themselves. EJ somehow turned from
being Hugh Grant to Cary Grant while he and Sami tried to re-enact the first
half of "His Girl Friday" for the Immigration agent. The more successful humor
came from John and Rolf. I never thought Marlena, Salem's own Lady Satan, would
be put in the position of straight man to John, king of the monosyllabic
response. But, to me at least, this is the most fun they've ever been and
listening to anyone make sardonic remarks about Sami and EJ makes me smile.
continues to become more mysterious, which is a relief since I often wonder what
they'll do with poor Uncle Max. His efforts to keep Stephanie away from the
docks and his increasingly perplexing behavior towards Nick are giving him a
darker dimension. Though I doubt Max, however troubled, can make the leap into
villainy, this weird side of him is, at least, more interesting that he and
Steph making Little Orphan Annie eyes at each other. I suspect his working down
at the docks may be more than random considering the fact that John and the
Kiriakis' are currently dancing around going to war over them.
never realized Aunt Maggie was such a cutie until Tuesday. New, surprisingly
youthful, Mickey pops up and Maggie's hair truncates in size and she suddenly
becomes mischievous. Perhaps this means they'll finally get something to do,
though the cynic in me assumes they'll become props in the ongoing EJami Punch
N' Judy routine. This prospect is almost as exciting as Ava noticing how
unbelievable it was that Hope is pregnant. Of course, that didn't last. They
really have to hurry things along with this. I actually find Ava amusing, but
they have repeated the exact same flashback sequences with her repeatedly and
it's starting to seem like she's just a time filler to put between John's laconic
big excitement of the week was the return of Nicole. So far it's been fun…
though I worry it will turn into another pointless parade of cleavage a la
All photographs are courtesy of Soapoperafan.com.