SoapOperaFan.com . . . Passions Summaries

At Harmony hospital, Eve stares in shock at Pretty's file, so Luis pushes her to speak and Pretty asks pathetically if she's dying. Fancy comes in with coffee just as Eve drops the bomb that Pretty is pregnant. There are many pregnant pauses, during which Pretty coos to herself over having paid the nurse to fake her results. She plays the shock well though and when Fancy asks who the father is, she says it has to be Luis. Fancy simply responds that it can't be, so Pretty reminds her she was a virgin before Luis. When Fancy asks if she's been with anyone recently, she flashes her scar in denial. Fancy figures to herself that if it were dark and the guy were drunk enough... Luis starts to smile at the news, but Fancy denies it again from behind him. When she calls Pretty and "her over ripe eggs" the enemy, Pretty insists, "It's not my fault that I'm fertile and Luis is potent!" Fancy finds it hard to believe Pretty managed to get knocked up the one and only time she's ever had sex. "I'm in shock," Luis admits and after Fancy grumbles some more, Eve reminds her it's not Pretty's fault and this is likely the last thing they want. She recalls how hard it was when she got pregnant with Vincent, then excused her emotion for exhaustion from Julian's surgery. She reveals she's not back on staff, but was called in for Julian and then asked to stay because they were short docs. She offers to get someone else, but Pretty wants her as her doctor.

Fancy asks after Julian, who is still in recovery with Rebecca. She snorts over Rebecca's motives, but Eve is quick to say Beccs "genuinely cares" for Julian and they should appreciate her support. Then Pretty smiles and coos, "I can't believe I'm having a baby, you're baby Luis." Fancy calls her a bitch and accuses her of getting pregnant on purpose to come between her and Luis. Pretty denies it vehemently out loud, while laughing inside. She pulls up some crocodile tears and Luis takes her side, reminding Fancy Alistair is to blame. After she rants for a bit more, Luis tells her to calm down. "We have to deal with it," he begs and then says, "A baby is growing inside her, mine." Stunned by his sensitivity, she asks if he even wants to have a baby. He can't say he doesn't want the baby, nor that he does want to have one with Pretty. Pretty apologizes and covers her face in tears. Luis holds her, while Fancy lets out a knowing, "Huh." Luis insists Pretty has nothing to apologize for, since she "didn't set out to get pregnant" to trap him into marrying her. It was in fact Alistair's fault. She says she wants a kid, but not like this. Luis admits there's much to work out. When Fancy demands to know why she didn't take a morning after pill, she shrugs she didn't think she'd get preggers her first time. Eve notes abstinence is the only way to avoid pregnancy unless people take responsibility for protection and then tells Fancy to be nicer to her sister, for the sake of the baby. When she sends Luis and Fancy out so she can check Pretty's vitals, Fancy can't believe things took such a 180 so soon after she started feeling better about her and Luis. He empathizes and notes it's a shock for him, but insists it won't change things. She counters that it will, especially since he wanted to wait to have a kid with her and now he's having one with her sister. "We are still going to be together. End of story," he says and hugs her. "We'll just see about that," eavesdropping Pretty says.

Later, Luis and Fancy return with a snack for Pretty. Before going in, he asks if she feels better after their talk. She's glad they talked, but not feeling any better about Pretty's carrying his baby. When she again comments on how unbelievable it is that Pretty got preggers her only time, Luis notes Miguel knocked up Kay their first time. "Are the Lopez-Fitzgerald's super potent or something," she snaps. He doesn't know how to answer. She warns that things are only going to get more complicated, but he is more dedicated then ever to making it work with her. She agrees to trust his love. Then Eve lets him know Pretty wants to see him. Fancy balks at following, but Luis tells her to go in with him because they're a couple. Pretty asks for alone time with Luis, so he tells her the same thing. After "empathizing" over the bad timing of her getting pregnant and the trouble it will cause, she tells them she's decided to end her pregnancy. Luis steps back as if hit by the statement.

Noah and Paloma are discussing what got Roberto in trouble as they arrive at the station. Noah is certain his father wouldn't arrest Roberto for no reason, but Paloma reminds him good guy Roberto smuggled drugs to take care of the old. Noah guffaws that crossing the boarder wasn't Roberto nor Paloma's brightest move. She remains convinced the arrest is a mistake, but Noah hopes it wasn't. When cuffed Roberto emerges, she asks what happened, but he just glowers at Noah. She promises to get him out, so the chief asks if she's paying his bail. She tells Sam she's sure it's a mistake, since Roberto is such an upstanding dude. Sam explains that during a drug raid at NightCrawlers, Roberto was pulled in with everyone else. She assumes he got caught up in the crowd, but Sam corrects that he was inside the club. She can't believe that, but he confirms it, so she asks why. Roberto glowers again at quiet Noah and flashes back to asking Noah if the club was a drug spot. Noah had said "not that I know of" and called the area "not the best, but definitely not the worst." Instead of answering Paloma, he says he didn't know about the drugs or that any neighborhood would be so skuzzy, "not with chief Bennet in charge." Sam references budget cuts and being short staffed, but Roberto isn't blaming him. "I was told the area was okay," he says. When she and the Chief ask who, he shoots Noah a look but stays quiet.

When Paloma asks if he's afraid to tell, Noah admits it was him. Paloma crosses her arms and glowers at him, demanding to know why. Noah insists the bar isn't that bad and he figured Roberto would be able to take care of himself. Even Sam saw the mistake in that! Paloma let right into Noah, who squeaked, "Who am I to tell him where he can and cannot go." She insists as her fiance, he should care about her friend, so he again insists the bar isn't that bad. "It's not like he sent me there on purpose," Roberto shrugs and she says it better not be. She tells Sam she'll pay the bail and tells Noah he can "go home if you want", but then Sam explains that due to new regulations, he has to report Roberto's arrest to Homeland Security and that Roberto may be deported, even though he's there legally. Paloma whines that it was Noah's fault, not Roberto's. She turns her back on Noah, unwilling to listen anymore, and promises Roberto she'll get him out. Roberto thanks her and she's promises to always be there for him, while Noah grumbles to his father that they look like a couple. He admits he'd wanted Roberto out, but insists he didn't know the club was that bad, let alone that Roberto would get arrested for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Sam agrees it looks like he set Roberto up, but trust his son's intentions. He suggests Paloma just needs time. Noah kicks himself for pushing his girl closer to Roberto.

Ethan and Gwen are still hurling from the itchy powder. Ethan agrees to check on crying Jane while Gwen showers, but on his way to get his robe, he trips, hurting himself. As Jane starts screaming, he teases Gwen, saying he's certainly gotten the "unforgettable evening" she'd promised. Gwen is crushed their perfect night is ruined, while Gert-resa listens in with a smile, pleased at how her itchy powder in the bed played out. "Those that muck with me, get mucked," Theresa sighs. With Gwen bitching and Ethan on the floor cleaning up, Little E asks whose going to go after Jane. A frustrated Ethan says they hear her and Gwen snarks that "even the deaf" could, so Little E says his mom would never let Jane cry like that. Gwen counters by suggesting Jane is crying like that because Theresa coddled her, which makes Ethan roll his eyes and grunt at her. Little E decides to help his sister himself, but knocks something over on his way out. Annoyed Gwen tells him to get to his room, but Ethan says to leave him alone. The adults are still itching like mad, but Little E is focused on his sister's cries, so Gwen grouches, "I'll get her when I can." Gert-resa is thrilled Gwen is showing her true colors, but mutters to herself that if she raises her voice at Little E again, she's going to punch her out. Luckily, Ethan calls for peace, reminding her Little E isn't at fault for their itch-fest and that the mess was his own fault. She raises her voice again, still upset over their spoiled night, and Ethan screams right back at her.

Then Little E notices Jane's stopped crying. Ethan still wants to check on her, so Gwen goes to shower. Gert-resa walks in and says she put Jane right back to sleep. Gwen pops back out and demands to know why Gert-resa took so long getting to Jane. Gert-resa says she was out and before Gwen can be too rude, Ethan says he knew she'd be out. Then Gert-resa reports she put Jane back down with a book and a bottle. They thank her and she asks about their itching. She ews and ahs over what a mess they've made and then sends Gwen to the shower, offering to clean up and put Little E to bed. She even offers to find them some soothing cream. They are very impressed and Gwen again apologizes to Ethan for their ruined night. Gwen figures things couldn't get worse, but Gert-resa thinks otherwise. "I'll make sure of it," she promises herself. When Gwen goes to shower, Gert-resa gets to scratch Ethan's back. "What would I do without you," he moans, but he need not worry. She's "back and here to stay."

When Gert-resa tucks Little E in, he asks what next. She tells him to say his prayers and go to bed, but he meant with Ethan. "You are trying to get him back with us, right?" he asks. She says her first step is getting Gwen away, but she doesn't know how long that will take. He offers his help, so she promises to let him know when she can use it. Then she reminds him to keep her identity a secret for now. "Somehow, some way, I will find a way for us to be a family," she promises.

When she returns to help Ethan clean, he says he can do it, but she wants to pitch in. He apologizes for Gwen, noting he's never heard her raise her voice to Little E before. She empathizes that it's a difficult time for all, which leads to him admitting he still loves Theresa, "the great love of my life." He confides his love for Gwen just isn't the same and she promises to keep his secret. Then she asks if he wants to talk about Theresa and she doesn't have to ask twice. He waxes romantic about her passion for life and the way she touched him like no other woman. He flashes back to a make out session from the past and then sighs that she was incredible. Getting over her may be his toughest hurdle, and he worries it's the same for the kids. She again promises to shower them with love. She suggests he say goodnight to Little E, which gets him to say, "You're really something." She jokes that she's heard that before -- presumably in a negative way -- but he just reiterates that she's amazing, thanking her for listening to him open up about Theresa, since Gwen can't hear it. He continues that he's not "dissing Gwen," but is surprised at the way she talked to Little E. Theresa says it happens, but he realizes he shouldn't have mentioned it to the nanny. She counters that it's important to know these things as the nanny, since they affect the child's mood, self esteem and health. He admits there's something about her that makes him feel he can say anything. When he goes to say goodnight to Little E, she wishes she could tell him the truth and curses Gwen.

When Gwen gets out of the shower, Gert-resa is just remaking the bed. She tells Gwen Ethan went to check on Little E, who is surely upset after the way she screamed at him. Gwen denies screaming, but Gert-resa shrugs that Ethan can undo the damage. Gwen insists she'll apologize in the morning herself -- after she gives Cook trouble for poisoning them! Gert-resa wonders if it was the mussels, not the sauce that was bad. Frazzled Gwen doesn't care, as long as someone pays for ruining her night. Gert-resa figures a comfy night's sleep in fresh sheets should help and Gwen suddenly wonders how Gert-resa knew they needed new sheets. Theresa says her hands started to itch when she touched the bed, so she'd assumed it needed changing. Gwen realizes the itching did in fact start in bed, so maybe she won't yell at Cook. She figures housekeeping changed detergents and asks Gert-resa to tell them to go back to the original.

Ethan returns, so Gert-resa stays a minute to listen to Gwen apologize for raising her voice to Little E. Ethan tells her that while Little E says he's alright, he's not so sure. He again notes Little E needs special attention, so Gert-resa mutters, "Sounds like Theresa was a very special woman." Gwen grimaces while Ethan agrees and then says he wants the kids to stay close to Theresa's family so they know about her. When Gert-resa agrees, Gwen thinks to herself that she better remember her place. Ethan feels the kids should be reminded of their mom daily and Gert-resa is happy to oblige. Ethan, still itching, praises Gert-resa for saving the day and forces Gwen to agree. "Gwen is already starting to feel threatened," Theresa realizes, warning herself to play it cool. When Jonathan starts crying, Gert-resa says she'll handle it, but Gwen wants to check on him herself. She tells Ethan to shower up and heads out. While Gert-resa grabs the sheets, Ethan thanks her again and tells her to sleep well. She enjoys the view for a moment and leaves. Outside, she flashes back to making love to his beautiful body on a night he told her they had 60 years of lovemaking ahead of them. She is more committed than ever to getting her future with Ethan back.

When Ethan gets out of the shower, Gwen immediately tries to reset the sexy mood, but Gert-resa burst in before they get anywhere. She reports the kids are all down and she'll take care of it if anyone wakes up. Gwen thanks her and sends her off. Unfortunately, Gwen's talk of sexy clean sheets just makes him flashback to that time with Theresa. "It's late," he demurs and suggests they go to sleep. Gwen curses internally, while Theresa smiles outside the door.

Tuesday
April 15, 2008
Disguises and spying: It's like the CIA!

Paloma and Roberto stop in at the Blue Note during Noah's shift. Noah asks if Paloma wants to try his newest concoction but then sees Roberto is there too. Paloma doesn't hide her feelings when she says she just bailed Roberto out of jail. Noah apologizes again, but Paloma insists it's his fault Roberto was arrested at NightCrawlers. He insists he didn't want Roberto arrested, but she reminds him he knew it was a dive and a place Roberto would likely find trouble. Roberto backs Noah's claims, asking oh so innocently, "Why would he want something bad to happen to me?" She figures it's his jealousy and notes Noah should have sent Roberto to somewhere cool, like the Blue Note. When she and Roberto take a seat, the eavesdropping Demon Elf steals a drink from Noah's tray and wonders what his next move will be. Then he realizes bringing a lady from Noah's past would sour the mix even better. He toasts himself up and down for his grand new plan, but then has to think of which lady will make Paloma mad enough to put their relationship "on the rocks permanently". He tries to grab a memory from Noah's head. When a song starts, Noah smiles and is lost in reverie, so Elfie gets excited. Too bad for him Noah's swooning over memories of Paloma. He orders Noah to think of another woman and pulls out a new memory, but it's just Paloma again. Then he overhears Paloma's admission to Roberto about Fancy and reconsiders using Fancy, but ultimately decides he needs someone new. He asks the dark forces for another woman from Noah's past. He pours out some nuts, which spell out the name "Maya". Some dirty video of her and Noah pops up on Elfie's PDA, convincing him she's the one for the job. Then he learns she's dead and decides it's not worth the paperwork to bring someone back from purgatory. He tries for another memory bubble, but Noah thinks of no woman but Paloma, which makes Elfie gag. He grumbles there must have been one sexy woman he flirted up at the bar and the next bubble is a sexy brunette. He blows some green out of his ring and it pops Noah's memory bubble. Then Elfie turns into the hottie and moves toward Noah. He loses his balance when he stands, grumbling, "I always forget how top heavy these are," and readjusts his breasts. Noah turns around and before he can finish his hello, Efl-hottie starts kissing him. While they kiss, Elfie prays his magic lips will win Noah over, or at least keep him locked until Paloma sees.

At the table with Paloma, Roberto worries he's coming between her and Noah. She smiles that he isn't, explaining Noah drives her crazy, but is the man for her. Roberto takes that as a challenge, realizing he'll have to work harder to break them up. He empathizes with all the problems she seems to have with Noah and asks if she's sure he's the one. She raves over how content and in love she is. He pushes, "concerned" at how much she and Noah seem to fight, but she just reminds him how much they used to fight. He insists he remembers everything. She counters that she'll always think of him fondly, but turning his proposal down was the best decision she's ever made. (Ouch!) "We just weren't right for each other," she maintains, adding that the fun they had can't compete with the "magic" she and Noah have. She goes on to talk about their desperate desire to get married and Noah taking two jobs so that they can. She hopes one day Roberto will meet the girl who makes him feel that way. "I already have," he thinks to himself. Then he gets her to admit she's caught Noah with Fancy a few times. Roberto calls her naïve, then backtracks and says he just wants her to be happy. She says she is happy and didn't like that crack about her being naive. He reminds her that she used to say, "Once a man cheated, he'd always be a cheater." She counters that Noah's not like that and didn't cheat with Fancy and never would cheat. "What do you call that?" he asks, pointing out Noah kissing Elf-hottie. She wonders why "that woman" is on her man, but Roberto suggests it's the other way around. Once Elf-hottie knows they've been seen, he pulls back. Noah immediately realizes Paloma saw and rushes to Paloma. Elf-hottie tries to stop him, but he storms off.

Gert-resa listens in as Ethan tells Gwen "the mood is broken," but she isn't ready to "just" go to sleep and can't imagine he'd turn her action down. He suggests they have a dinner out together the next day, while Gert-resa cheers at her success in ruining the couple's night and swears to herself she'll keep her identity masked. Gwen is upset at the way things turned out and keeps pushing for some action. Ethan finally admits he's not tired and suggests a night out at the Blue Note. Gert-resa stumbles away to make a plan, but Ethan comes out and calls for her. She says she was on her way for her nightly pint of ice cream. "I have a very fast metabolism. That's why it hasn't affected my figure," she laughs. When Ethan says they're heading out, she tells him they can't -- because it's cold. She warns he'll catch pneumonia and end up fighting for his life, then moves onto the crazies on the road and the dangers of the curves at night. Ethan remains committed to a night out and asks her to watch the kids. She agrees, touching his naked shoulder, and says she'll have the kids pray for his safe return. He laughs, telling her not to worry, and reflects that a man has to occasionally take his woman out for a romantic night on the town. Not about to let that happen, Gert-resa comes up with a new plan. She goes to Little E's room and gets out of her Gert-resa costume. He's concerned she'll be seen, but Theresa explains she has to make sure Gwen and Ethan's night continues to be a bust. Little E concedes they don't want the couple bonding and agrees to watch his siblings. She asks him to be a critique of her new disguise and he teases, "Disguises and spying. It's like the CIA," but says he's glad she's not like other moms. She wishes she could be, but first she has to get Ethan back, which means ruining Gwen's date night.

Ethan dons a suit and Gwen gets sexified for their night out. Gwen lays a kiss on him and says she feels like a teen going to prom. He wonders if that means she'll put on her cheerleaders outfit later, so she jokes she can borrow one from her mother. Then she smiles that she'll be naked for the next part of the night and pulls him out the door by his tie. When Little E spies them leaving, he tells Theresa, who scolds him for referring to Ethan as "Daddy". Theresa pops out in a blonde wig and tight black dress.

Ethan and Gwen walk into The Blue Note to find a fave song playing, so they immediately giggle to the dance floor. While they sway, Gwen notes they're perfect together. Just moments behind, Blonde-resa grumbles to see it. Then she realizes vain Gwen will run home if some drinks happen to spill all over her. She rushes in for the spill, but runs into Noah instead. She puts on a southern accent to hide her identity, but then uses his name, making him curious. She coos, "All the girls talk about the hot bartender at the Blue Note!" He thanks her and offers to give her free drinks. As Gwen and Ethan place their order, Blonde-resa fears she'll lose Ethan if she doesn't cause some disturbance. ASAP. As if by fate, the waitress puts their food right in front of her, so she douses it with enough hot sauce to make allergic Gwen sick. Unfortunately, it's not Gwen's food! Meanwhile, Ethan coos that he's enjoyed Gwen's company so much he hasn't thought of Theresa since they walked in. Gwen is thrilled and kisses him, while Blonde-resa recognizes she's losing him. She watches them dance and quietly begs Ethan, "Not with her."

Noah rushes to talk to Paloma, but balks when she demands an explanation. He says he doesn't know the hottie and then she waves to him. He says she was a regular years ago, who used to flirt with him, and she just didn't know he is engaged now. Roberto backs him up, noting that when he bartended, all it took for some ladies was a "little encouragement." Paloma angrily announces she's had it and they need time apart. "Are you breaking up with me?" he gasps and then refuses to let her do so. Elf-hottie comes over and asks Noah to talk about old times. Noah refuses her touch and introduces her to his fiancee, so she storms off, but not before saying she'd wanted to "pick up where we left off." He begs Paloma to ignore her. She says she's not dumping him, but she's had it, so they'll talk about it in the morning. Noah walks back to the bar, where he moons over Paloma until Efl-hottie pops back up. She asks if he's "sure" he's engaged to Paloma, considering how hot she's getting with her escort. Noah grumbles that they're just friends, making Elfie-hottie laugh.

Luis is horrified by Pretty's decision to end her pregnancy. She immediately jumps into her "no one wants this baby" routine. Luis takes a strong stand, so she next moves to the "my body: my choice" routine. "Do you really want this kid to get stuck with me as a mother?" she challenges, noting she has no one to help her, thanks to her ugly scar. Fancy insists she will not be alone and says her scars are better. Pretty says she's scared and won't be convinced to keep the baby. She challenges Luis to "try and stop me," referring to herself as another notch in his belt. He accepts the challenge, insisting every baby is a gift and refers to the fetus as a "he". Luis is committed to raising the child and tells her it's not only about what she wants. With a growing excitement, Pretty grills Luis about whether he really wants this baby, in spite of the changes it will bring. He insists he can handle it and that even though it's unplanned, "It's going to be great. Children bring nothing but joy." Fancy looks like she's swallowed something nasty, but Pretty is thrilled, agreeing to have the kid, while smiling over how easy it is to get what she wants. Too bad she's not actually preggers. When Fancy turns her back, Luis pushes for an explanation. She admits she's concerned about how a newborn will leave room for them. His face lights up as he again says, "It's a baby!" She tears as she notes he'll have a child with Sheridan and Pretty -- families with two other women -- and wonders where he'll find time for her. Pretty smiles from ear to scar. She steps away while Luis supports Pretty and promises to make it work. "Someday, you and I are going to have lots of kids," he swears. Pretty cringes as he professes his love to Fancy and Fancy agrees to "do everything I can to be supportive." He's relieved, since he can't get through this without her. Pretty looks like she might throw up when they kiss and make up.

Before heading out, Luis tells Pretty to get some rest and again shares his excitement over keeping the baby. She agrees to keep the baby as long as he can tell her he was "genuinely happy" when he first heard about it. She's not convinced he believes this is a miracle or that she can always count on him. Fancy jumps in, insisting she's being ridiculous, since she knows Luis is wonderful. Pretty counters that he barely knows Marty and challenges him to say his first response was "pure joy." He can't say that and insists what matters is what he's committed to doing now. That doesn't cut it. She pushes him until he admits he "wasn't happy at all". She accuses him of lying about wanting the baby and then cries, "I'll get rid of it and then you'll be happy." He insists she's not making sense. He rehashes all that's on his plate, from trouble with Fancy to trying to be a dad to Marty, which she figures proves her point. His point, however, is that at first he was scared and overwhelmed by the idea, but now he'll do "anything for this baby -- and for you." A nurse arrives, asking for some alone time to check up on Pretty. Outside, Luis apologizes and figures, "We're just going to have to roll with the punches on this one." Fancy empathizes that it's exciting news for him, but notes something always happens to keep them apart. Pretty shakes her head as she watches them hug it out. Fancy admits she's scared because she cares so much. Then they see Pretty signing some papers, so Luis asks what's going on. They're release papers for her abortion.

Wednesday
April 16, 2008
Don't Waste Your Breath

At the hospital, Esme is still reeling over Julian's injury and says she'll be careful during sex now, for fear she'll knock it off again. Viki asks Esme for an update on her adoption and is not pleased to hear they'll have to check with Ethan since Esme's been too preoccupied to think about it. Viki realizes she has to finish Julian off, because, "Even unconscious he's coming between me and Esme." Sam and Ivy arrive, and Esme immediately asks about leads in Julian's case. She tells them he's still "out of it" and Sam says he's committed to catching the person who's been killing off Esme's lovers. (Careful Viki!) Esme wishes she could identify the attacker and wonders what kind of "sick freak would cut off a man's penis." Viki thinks she's not a freak, but is rather desperate to keep Esme for herself.

Eve and Vincent in drag as a nurse survey Julian's reattachment. "What a topsy turvy mess," Eve sighs, and Vincent is quick to note Daddy will not be pleased to see what Eve's done to him. She blames the downsizing and improper attachment on Vincent for drugging her. She tells him he's horrible, hateful and mean. But he counters that he's a Crane, with the benefits of both sexual organs. She gaffaws over him carrying his father's baby and insists he stop pleasuring in pain. He tells her to watch her tone, so she grabs him and orders him to stop telling her what to do. He simply hopes her malpractice is paid up. At her wits end, she storms off to tell Sam Vincent's alive. He holds the door closed and pokes her back into the room. He's tired of her threats and doesn't believe she'll turn him in. And if she does, he'll just escape and go kill Whitney, Simone, TC and the grandkids, while letting Eve live. She curses him and Sam enters to hear her say, "I'm not going to let this go on!" He asks her to explain, but then Esme, Viki and Ivy rush in for an update on Julian. After Eve says Julian's still unconscious, Sam again asks her to explain what he overheard. She says she and the nurse were discussing a patient. Vincent goes to leave, but she stops him and prepares Sam for the full story, "No matter what the fallout." She then whispers her apologies to Vincent, who reminds her what will happen if she talks.

Before she can, Julian moans from the bed. Sam asks him who attacked him, but he only groans more. This gives Vincent a chance to remind his mother how "deadly" he is, so she agrees to be quiet. Julian slips back under, frustrating everyone -- except Viki -- so Sam turns his attention back to Eve. She suggests they let Julian "rest in peace," which sends Esme into a tailspin. She fears she's blacked out, and that Julian's now dead. She's relieved to hear that's not the case, noting that her meds interact sometimes and her greatest fear is, "I'll wake up on the mother ship, mid probe." Eve moves everyone to the hall, leaving behind Viki, who locks the door and plots to kill Julian before he can marry Esme and send her to boarding school. In the hallway, Eve tells Esme, Sam and Ivy about the "reversal" in "the function and aesthetic" of Julian's penis. This only confuses them, of course. Julian's screams interrupt, but the door is locked. He screams like mad, while Viki looks crazily at him and those outside try to break in.

Pretty wakes in her hospital bed to find Sheridan waiting to tell her she's "the dumbest woman on the whole freaking planet." Pretty asks for a minute to wake up before she attacks, but Sheridan insists it's the truth, not an attack. She says she knows Pretty still wants Luis and tells her she's dumb for thinking she'll get Luis with an abortion. She tells Sheridan to get lost, gives the "my body/my choice" line and then says she promises to talk it over again with Luis later. Sheridan finally figures out she's "up to something" and is playing with Luis. She demands to know her game, so Pretty admits she hasn't given up on Luis, but isn't up to anything. Then a nurse comes to get her for the procedure. Pretty says she'll be right there, which shocks Sheridan. She notes Luis will hate her for aborting his baby, but Pretty smiles and shrugs that should only help Sheridan's efforts. Sheridan is also upset for the "innocent child", but Pretty just calls the nurse in and leaves her aunt standing there. Sheridan is sure there's more to this and realizes Luis may hate her too if she doesn't tell him.

Fancy dozes in bed, but Luis is wide awake, staring at the ceiling and remembering Pretty's decision to terminate her pregnancy. Fancy guesses what he's thinking about and again worries about competing with his two baby mamas, especially since he won't make her one yet. He insists Pretty's not a threat, even if he's thinking about her, but she counters that he's thinking about her on what was to be their special alone day -- breakfast in bed and a hike along the bluffs, with no distraction, but he's distracted and will remain so. He promises his undivided attention. She appreciates it, but says it's not possible considering the circumstance. He's sorry things are rough, while she just wants to feel important to him. He laughs at the idea she'd question that and says she's the most important. He kisses her and apologizes again for his distraction. He promises his undivided attention and that they'll be together forever, no matter what. After they work up an appetite, Fancy offers to make breakfast before another round in bed, followed by their hiking. As soon as she walks out, he tells himself he must stop Pretty's abortion. After his shower, Sheridan calls with news on Pretty. He says he'll be there ASAP, but Sheridan fears he will be too late. When Fancy returns with breakfast, Luis is MIA.

After a dream about Ethan and Gwens' romantic night, Theresa opens her eyes and sighs that she should never have returned. It's too hard to watch, but Little E overhears and tells her he's glad she came back. She apologizes that watching Gwen worm her way back with Ethan will kill her, so she has to leave him, Ethan and Jane. Little E insists they all need her, even if Ethan thinks she's a nanny. She's concerned she'll "slip up and make a horrible situation worse." He begs her, so she promises to check on him and says once Ethan adopts him, he'll have his dad everyday and Little E will barely know she's gone. Little E finally got his mom to see the light and promise to stick it out. She thinks she just has to last until they catch Juanita and the truth comes out about Gwen and Rebecca. Little E can't wait to be a family together. Theresa notes his father will always do what's best for him and keep him near. She also promises to protect him from Gwen, though she expects Ethan will take care of that.

Gwen wakes up from a night of lovemaking more confident than ever she's pushing Theresa out of Ethan's head. She wakes him with a soft touch to rave about their night out, making love and getting to wake up with him again. He notes their night was "borderline kinky" and asks for a replay. Before they can warm up, however, Rebecca walks in unannounced and asks Gwen, "So, did you ask him?" Gwen shoots a look of annoyance, saying she's going about it wrong, while Ethan pushes to know what the question is. Then she asks why he doesn't knock. She laughs it off and says they're running out of time to make a decision. Gwen can barely look at him, so he demands to know what they're scheming now. Gwen apologizes for the timing, but admits they need to talk about sending Little E to boarding school. Ethan insists he'll never agree, which Gwen says she already told her mom. Gwen respects his position, but asks him to hear her out. "Don't waste your breath," Ethan says and jumps out of bed. When he returns clothed, he says she might as well drop the subject. Gwen and Beccs say they've done some research that proves it's best for Little E to go, but Ethan notes you can find data to support anything. He asks why they're so intent on sending him away right after being adopted, so Gwen (also now dressed) shrugs it's what's best for Little E. Rebecca brings in Dr. Spears, an authority on childrearing. Dr. Spears won't be put off, saying, "If you love Little E, you will send him away to boarding school." Ethan agrees to let him talk, but then says Little E lost his mother and needs to be kept close. The doctor sees his logic, but calls it flawed. He says boys like Little E need to gain confidence, self-reliance and emotional strength, which he can do at boarding school, while "selfishly" keeping him home would undermine his emotional development, leaving him too dependent and maybe even causing behavioral problems. The ladies ask if Ethan's changed his mind. When he doesn't answer, the doc gives him research to review and leaves with Rebecca. Gwen is thrilled to hear Ethan is reconsidering his stance and then when he actually agrees to send Little E away.

Outside, Beccs thanks the doctor for his expertise. He says he'll do anything for her, so she notes he was always good in the sack. After a deep kiss, they head off for a session. As they walk away, the mailman asks if Ethan bought his shrink act. She's sure he did.

Paloma finds Pilar at the manse, holding a picture of Theresa, mourning her loss and damming Rebecca and Gwen. After they embrace, Pilar sighs that Theresa was finally about to get everything she wanted, only to die. Paloma insists God has a plan and her mother can't deny it, even if she can't imagine what it is. Paloma wishes she knew what God's plan is for her, which leads to talk of Noah. She says she's confused and reveals she caught him kissing a strange woman. Her mother can only tell her to follow her heart. Then Paloma reveals she may have feelings for returned Roberto and that she suspects he is still stuck on her. Mom asks if refusing his proposal was a mistake, but Paloma is too confused to answer. She promises to listen to her inner voice. Then they go up to visit Little E. Up in his room, Theresa is fresh from the shower and asks him to lock the door so she can get into her Gertie costume. Before he can lock it, Paloma and Pilar enter. Pilar cries, "Theresa!" to which Paloma adds, "O dios mio!"

them some of the magic tricks she taught him, while she silently gloats over Gwen's impending downfall. All are impressed with Little E's magic trick, but he gives Gertie the credit for teaching him. She refuses the praise, but agrees to be his assistant for the next show, "as long as you don't saw me in half!" When Gwen tells him it's time for bed, he says he's not tired, but Gert-resa backs her up. He gives hugs as he follows Gert-resa to the door and then asks Ethan to tuck him in.

Rebecca takes another peek at Julian's surgery and immediately notices his detachable penis is much smaller... and upside down! She passes out in his lap, which looks mighty strange when Eve walks in. Eve shakes her awake and asks about the flashlight, which clears Rebecca's head. She jumps up and slaps the doctor, demanding, "How could you do what you did to Julian's penis?" She ridicules Eve, who is still slurring a bit, and insists, "Whatever it is you attached to Julian is not his penis," but Eve doesn't get it. She says that's impossible, so Rebecca lifts Julian's blanket, noting she's an expert on Julian penis. Eve pulls rank, claiming to have far more experience with it and shoots that Rebecca must be confusing Julian's member with one of the many that's passed through her doors. She swears it's Julian's penis. Then she looks at what Rebecca is showing her. "What?" she stutters in horror. Rebecca starts by pointing out the shrinkage and Eve recalls taking off "a little" to make the reattachment stick, but Rebecca insists she took off "more than most men start with." Eve demurs that she tried, so Beccs asks why she put the penis on upside down. Eve has to take another look and says it's just off the side, but Rebecca convinces her it's worse than that. Eve covers her face in horror, but is saved by the bell when she gets paged to the ER. Rebecca yells after her, questioning whether they need to redo the procedure before it's too late. When she goes back, she's just relieve Julian isn't awake to see his condition.

Later, Gwen calls to report that Gertie is working out great and, with Little E heading to bed, she and Ethan are about to make the most of their evening. An upset Rebecca tries to explain the "complications" with Julian's surgery, calling his penis a "toothpick" that's "topsy turvy to boot." The upside, of course, is that Julian will need her more than ever to keep his reputation safe, which will mean tons o' money. Satisfied, Beccs turns talk back to Gwen and Ethan. "Pull out all the stops," the sex fiend tells her daughter, but Gwen assures her she's planning a "major seduction." She's ready to sex Theresa name right out of Ethan's head. Her mother is impressed and supportive, especially when she says she'll get as dirty as necessary. "Desperate times call for desperate measures," Gwen sighs.

Eavesdropping Theresa does not like the sound of that! She knocks on the door and asks to grab Little E's magic kit. Gwen lets her in, asking her to tell Ethan she went to get their midnight snack. Left alone, Theresa comes upon Little E's itchy powder, which reads, "A little powder goes a long way." She shuts the door, mimicking Gwen's statement that, "Desperate times call for desperate measures." By the time Gwen returns with the tray, Theresa has poured out the powder and remade the bed. She helps with the tray of Ethan's fave foods and coos that she's sure Ethan and Gwen's romantic night will be "unforgettable." Gwen slips into the bathroom to slip into her nighty, so Theresa pours some powder into the Mignonette dip for the oysters. On her way out, she runs into Ethan. He tells her the kids are down for the night, so she asks for permission to leave the grounds and get her things. Obviously, this isn't a problem. He even promises to listen for the kids while she's out.

In the room, Gwen doesn't hesitate to get on Ethan, while Theresa listens through the door. Gwen toasts to them and Ethan toasts to Gertie making their alone time possible. Then Gwen seductively feeds him an oyster and he returns the favor. Theresa does a little count down from outside and suddenly both scream, but Ethan's is more desperate. He guzzles water from the pitcher. It's far too spicy for him and Gwen empathizes, feeling the kick too, but then it hits her full steam too and she grabs the pitcher from him. They figure the chef made a mistake and Ethan decides he'd rather just skip eating anything on the cart tonight, so Gwen offers him dessert. She's offering something new, but he can't imagine what they haven't already done in bed. She whispers in his ear. He laughs, asks if she's serious and says it sounds "extreme" and "enticing." She leads him to the bed, throwing back the covers and throwing him down. Then she climbs on him and things are going well, until he has an itch. It hits Gwen too, but then they both feel better and continue… and then the itching pops them out of bed. Ethan's so desperate he's knocking things over trying to scratch his back. The two even try to scratch their backs against each other. Theresa laughs in victory from outside as they make a mad dash for the shower. Before they can get in, Little E opens the door, saying Jane is crying. Ethan agrees to check on her while Gwen showers. On his way to the bed to get his robe, he trips, hurting himself As Jane starts screaming, he teases Gwen, saying he's certainly gotten the "unforgettable evening" she promised.

Luis carries Pretty into an ER room, while Fancy explains that her sister fainted while walking toward them. The nurse sends them out after Luis tells her they couldn't stir the unconscious Crane. They walk out to a concerned Sheridan, who quickly goes from asking about Julian to asking about Pretty. She's relieved to hear Julian's penis is attached, since it's so important to men. "And to us," Fancy smiles, taking Luis' arm. Meanwhile, the nurse tells Pretty the coast is clear. She sits up and says, "So far, everything is going according to plan. You know what to do next?" The nurse does, and walks out to tell Luis and crew that Fancy is conscious but week, so she's going to get a doctor to examine her. Then she warns it may be a while, since the ER is packed. Luis correctly guesses that the lobster shack had an all you can eat sushi night. "When will they learn," Fancy sighs. When the nurse leaves, they go into Pretty's room to find her crying. She tells Luis she's scared and doesn't want to be there and collapses into his arms. Her performance is so good Sheridan and Fancy actually buy that she's petrified. They both felt guilty for being mean earlier.

When Doc Eve shows up to check on Pretty, Sheridan asks whether she's back on staff. She explains she was called in for Julian's surgery and then asked to stick around due to the shortage. Luis wonders if she's too "beat" to be working, but she shrugs she's tired from the surgery. She says it's too soon to say how the penis is faring and warns Julian's base may reject the reattached shaft. Luis, who lets a few nervous smiles slip, asks when Julian will be up for giving his statement. Eve says he's still out, but she too hopes Julian can shed some light. "It's frightening there's a butcher on the loose," she says, before heading to check Pretty out. Her vitals are normal and Pretty reveals she's eaten, but has felt queasy and "odd" all day. She claims she'd written it off as nerves over her father. Eve asks the nurse -- the one in Pretty's pocket -- to put a rush on Pretty's blood test. Pretty shoots the nurse a knowing look before she leaves and after Eve suggest she may just have the flu, Pretty reminds herself to look surprised when she hears otherwise. Then she asks for Luis, so Eve sends him in.

Left with Fancy, Sheridan wonders how she feels about her man being alone with Pretty. Fancy admits she doesn't love it, but says it's okay. Sheridan is surprised at how she's changed her tune, so Fancy tells her about Pretty's promise to walk away from Luis. Sheridan just laughs and rolls her eyes. Fancy concedes she'll still be keeping an eye on Pretty, "And on you too, for that matter." She suggests Sheridan follow Pretty's lead and realize Luis is Fancy's. "Never say never when it comes to me and Luis," Sheridan warns, adding the same goes for Pretty, who is too much like Alistair to give up. Ever confident, Fancy reminds her she blew her chance with Luis, who's with her now "for keeps". Sheridan suggests Fancy spend less time protecting her ground and more time taking care of her man. Fancy doesn't let Sheridan ruffle her feathers, so Sheridan goes to check on Julian and Fancy goes to get coffee for her, Luis and "everyone."

Elsewhere, the nurse doctor's Pretty's lab results while Luis supports Pretty. She talks about her discomfort at hospitals ever since her accident. Then she apologizes about the terrible things she said about Fancy, including the comparisons to Grandpa. He tells her no apology necessary, considering how terrible Fancy was behaving. Pretty laughs in her head, remembering how she'd controlled Fancy with the chip. Out loud, she confesses she's worried about Fancy, but more concerned about overstepping with Luis by speaking against his girl to him. He says no apology necessary. Then Eve returns, followed by the nurse. Upon reading the chart, Eve gasps, "Oh my God!"

Noah swings by the station, where his dad is just wrapping up a call about Julian's case. Both men recognize the other looks frazzled, but Noah is blown away by the Julian attack story, from snip to reattachment. "Makes my problems seem so trivial," he says as he crosses his legs. Then he opens up about the return of Paloma's ex, Roberto, and his concern about Roberto living next door to her at Tabby's. He insists he trusts his girl, but not Roberto. He grumbles over Roberto's habit of walking around half naked, so his dad asks if he feels threatened. He wonders if Roberto was "strutting his stuff" or just happened to be getting out of the shower. Noah suspects it was for effect, but has no proof. While he's sure Paloma has no feelings, he recounts how Roberto followed Paloma from Puerto Arena, proposed and was then turned down. He can't imagine Roberto is there for anything other than getting his girl back. Sam empathizes, but warns him against pushing Paloma away by "giving Roberto grief." He suggests his son stay close to Paloma and spend some time at Tabby's. "I'm not going to lose Paloma," Noah says with confidence.

At Tabitha's, Roberto stops by Paloma's room in his boxers to lay a kiss on her. She says she shouldn't, but gives in and they make their way to the bed…. Ah, but it's just Roberto's fantasy. He is in fact fully clothed when he knocks on her door and there is no kiss when she opens it. He says he "gets" that she's with Noah and won't jeopardize that, but reminds her she matters to him. He recounts how her decision to not marry him left him hurt, but hopes they can be friends now. After a hug, he asks if she's sure about Noah. She is so sure that she suspects the boys will become good friends. Roberto's up for that -- if that's what it takes to get her back! Later, she struggles to fix a fallen curtain rod and falls backward. Luckily, Roberto is there to catch her and she's still laughing in his arms when Noah walks in. She hops down, hugs Noah and tells him about her slip and fall. Then she says she made them a bedtime snack and heads to the kitchen to get it. On her way out, Roberto teases Noah in Spanish and they laugh, leaving Noah feeling left out. Noah smiles and tells Roberto he and Paloma are "spending the night in." Roberto says he's going to check out a dance night at one of the clubs near the wharf. Noah warns that some of those spots are sketchy and asks which one. When he says he's going to Nightcrawlers, Noah laughs that it's not the best part of town, but not the worst. Roberto thanks him, saying he doesn't want to go anywhere where there's trouble.

When Paloma returns, Noah is in bed with the candles lit, his clothes off and roses in his hand. She climbs into bed and he welcomes her to Tabby's. When she worries what her landlord will think of them bunking together, he notes Miguel and Kay lived there in sin. He adds that it's her first night in her new home and they can finally get to it without disruption or distractions. She coos that she can get used to them living together and he promises they will -- once they're married. They get into making out, but the phone interrupts. She answers in case it's her mother, but it’s Roberto calling from the police station. He was arrested at the club and needs bail. She hangs up and tells Noah, who asks, "What about our evening?" She apologizes that she has to go help and leaves him with a kiss and love.

Feel free to leave comments about today's show update on our message boards! If you're not yet a member, remember that it's free to join and will allow you to post your comments and join in any chatter with others in our community!

All photographs are courtesy of Soapoperafan.com

AdChoices