SoapOperaFan.com . . . Passions Summaries

At Harmony Hospital, Sam tries to break into Julian's room, while Esme, Eve and Ivy panic over Julian's screams coming from inside. Nurse Vincent even grumbles about who could be trying to kill his daddy -- "That's my job!" Inside, Viki is stabbing repeatedly over Julian's crying face. When Sam breaks the door down, Viki has ducked out of sight and Julian is curled on his side crying. Everyone demands to know what's going on, but Julian just continues to have a wordless temper tantrum until he finally reveals his horror, throwing the blanket back and showing them backwards, shrunken Little Julian. Everyone cringes. Esme freaks over what she's "supposed to do with that". She catches herself and tries to tell him size doesn't matter, but then says, "Please, we all know that's a lie. If it wasn't, Katherine the Great would have raised chipmunks." After Ivy gets a peak, she notes, "It's like looking at an old friends through the wrong end of a telescope, in a mirror, upside down." Julian covers himself up, while Vincent gloats to Eve, and then Julian asks who's to blame. Eve begs him to calm down, but Julian just plots his revenge on the surgeon until she admits it was her. He's shocked and tells her he could kill her. He even starts to get out of bad, but they hold him back. "How could you do this to me?" he demands and rails into her, with Esme jumping in as well. Esme of course gets a bit sidetracked, until Julian yells at her. Then she offers a solution... One of the lotions she gets all those spam emails about. Julian groans again and asks Eve to explain herself.

When Eve says it was an accident, Ivy wonders aloud if that's true. "You fiend!" Esme screams and accuses Eve of being jealous and extracting vengeance on Little Julian. Sam and Julian both ask Eve if it's true, but she denies it. Julian demands to know how she was allowed to do the surgery, considering she was booted from her position for drug and alcohol abuse. She explains that Little Julian needed constant blood flow and thus needed to be attached super fast, and she was the closest expert. "He's useless now!" Julian moans, noting that her proximity didn't make her a good doctor. After Ivy and Esme chime in again asking for an explanation, Nurse Vincent steps up to offer one. Viki, still hiding behind the equipment, sees her opportunity for escape, while Eve tries to interrupt Vincent. Sam warns Nurse Vincent that lying to protect Eve will expose him to criminal charges. Nurse V isn't concerned, so Eve pulls him aside, but he says he's got it covered. Julian wants the info, because. "I'm trying to decide whether to start legal action against you or have you boiled in oil." Nurse Vincent says it wasn't Eve's fault. He recounts the ER being a madhouse before Julian even got there. Eve, the anesthesiologist and nurse were all called in and the next they knew, they were in surgery. He then explains that intake supplied reversed computer images, which is why his attachment was backward. Julian notes that doesn't account for the size adjustment, but Vincent simply shrugs that swelling called for "a little whittling." Julian simply stutters, "This is truly unacceptable." Vincent empathizes, but notes Dr. Eve saved his life and his penis, not to mention his chance for a sex life. Again noting its size, Julian insists he'll make Eve pay for the rest of her life.

Having escaped the room, Viki is relieved, but unsure of her next move. She's concerned Julian will tell everyone she was his attacker and wonders how to kill him with so many folks around. Esme comes out to catch her up on Julian's shrunken vine and worries how married life will be. As she fumbled through her purse for pills, she notes, "I'd hate to have to take my first lover on our honeymoon, but a girl's got needs!" She tells Viki to wait in the corridor. Then she asks if there's a bar where she can get her "breakfast." There isn't, so she just swallows her pills and returns to support Julian. Viki isn't concerned about Esme's honeymoon, because she'll never let it get that far.

Back inside, Sam asks Eve if they can repair the penis. Eve says they can schedule a surgery to flip it and add some reconstruction. Julian balks at the idea of another operation, sure he'll end up with an even littler Little Julian. Eve explains if they remove and reattach it, "you're going to be all right." Esme starts railing at her, until she realizes Eve's offering him his size back. After apologizing that she's a bit dingy since her "breakfast" hasn't quite kicked in, she leans in and asks if Little Julian can be even bigger that it was, since she has seen a bigger one before. Everyone is horrified as Esme baby talks to Little J, promising all will be okay. Then Julian asks when he'll be able to perform again, but Eve doesn't know. He falls backward with a sigh, almost fainting. Ivy notes she's never seen him "that color before." When Julian says his penis is a third of the size, Esme again makes it worse by saying its more like a fifth. Sam yells for her to stop, but she insists Eve should be aware of the magnitude of her error. Julian pats her hand, sighing, "Sometimes I don't know where your mouth is, but your heart is in the right place."

Vincent asks Eve if she can do what she says she can. She can only hope and pray so. She tells Julian he must put his vengeful thoughts on the backburner to rest up for surgery. Julian's too upset too sleep, fearing nightmares about his penis, so Sam suggests they use the time to question him about the attack. Eavesdropping Viki grumbles that he better not name her. When all he says is, "Dear god!" Viki's sure she's off to prison instead of boarding school. She's even more mortified at the thought of Lindsay Lohan playing her in the TV movie they make about her. Then Julian admits his memories from that night are blurry. She cheers, thrilled that old people have no memory. Sam empathizes with Julian's trauma and suggests he relax to allow his memories to come back. Afraid it will work, Viki is ready to kill the chief, but no need. Julian is too focused on Little Julian to get anywhere. Esme pulls pills from her cleavage, saying they'll help, but Sam stops her, saying he needs his witness clearheaded. (Interestingly, Eve offers no concerns!) Sam asks Julian to breathe deep and think back. Esme does it with him and laughs as she recalls Julian's skeleton costume. Ivy yanks her from his side and threatens to lock her in a room without any drugs, alcohol or men if she speaks again. As Julian struggles to remember, Viki can't decide if she should run. Sam used a calm voice to guide Julian through his memory until Julian gasps in surprise, "Viki!"

At the manse, Gwen is on cloud over Ethan agreeing to send Little E off to boarding school, but Ethan recalls how crushed he was to learn he'd be sent away all those years ago. She counters Little E will adjust and learn to love the freedom of school. Again, Ethan isn't so sure, noting Little E's just been "freed" from his mother and wondering if it's really right to send him away before the adoption's even final. Gwen simply reminds him what their "expert" recommended and Ethan begrudgingly agrees. As they hug it out, Gwen gloats over her phony expert and her chance to be alone with Ethan. Then she begs him to be positive and trust the expert, adding that the schedule of school would be "comforting." He seems to be where she wants him, until she says Little E should go now, in the middle of the term. He's concerned about Little E fitting in and also has big plans for their summer together. Gwen continues to push, suggesting they call the school to let them know he's coming. Ethan balks at the fact that Gwen has already picked a school out and finally seems to get it, demanding, "Are you trying to get rid of Theresa's son?" Gwen insists she's not, but he isn't convinced. She explains she's chosen the school all the Cranes went to. He hangs his head and agrees to tell the school Little E is on his way. As he picks up the phone, Gwen bubbles to herself, "With any luck, we won't see Theresa's brat until he's 21!" She must not be lucky, because Ethan can't even make it through the introductions before saying, "This call is premature," and hanging up. He refuses to call again until she says, "Little Ethan needs to be sent away!" Then he explains he has to tell Ethan before talking to the school, so they set off to tell him.

As Theresa prepares to transform into Gert-resa, Little E goes to lock the door for her, but not fast enough. Pilar and Paloma barge in and seeing Theresa from the back, somehow know it's her. Theresa freezes, while Little E asks why Pilar is calling the nanny Theresa. The ladies insist they heard Theresa's voice and Pilar demands her daughter turn around. Theresa slips her Gertrude teeth in and refuses to turn around because she hasn't, "put her face on." Pilar again claims she's heard Theresa, but Little E simply reminds her Theresa was shark bait. Before her family can get too upset about his insensitivity, Gert-resa reveals he's been saying odd things like that. She shoots him looks as she suggests it's a defense mechanism for his grief and pointedly acknowledges how it upsets Theresa's mother. Ethan is laughing, but pulls it together to apologize to Pilar. Theresa takes the mistaken identity as a compliment and runs to the shower, asking the ladies to keep an eye on Little E. She returns as Gert-resa and again says she'll take the compliment, giggling that she's heard Theresa was a beauty. Little E teases that she was "all right", but then Paloma says "No." Theresa thinks Pilar is saying she wasn't beautiful, but in fact, it's that she can't see any resemblance. Everyone apologizes for the misunderstanding. Paloma reveals they'd just been wishing Theresa was still with them and Pilar sighs, "The grief is about killing us both." Paloma kneels before Little E and reminds him his whole family is there for him. Pilar promises they'll keep him close. Gert-resa agrees, adding Ethan will always do what's best.

When she raves to Pilar about the honor it is to take care of the kids, Pilar notes the kids aren't angels. Theresa agrees, teasing that Little E is stubborn, but noting the kids have great manners and hearts. Pilar of course credits Theresa for that and then asks Gert-resa for her "childrearing philosophy." She tells them not to worry, "I love my children." The ladies demand to know why she said "my". She apologized for misspeaking, but explains that's how she thinks of all her kids while she's working with them. Pilar calls it "sweet" and then Theresa outlines her parenting theories, including keeping the kids close, teaching them about right, wrong and an honest day's work and showering them with love. Pilar chokes up, explaining it's just what Theresa would have said. Gert-resa, also choked up, says, "I just want to do what my mother did for me." Pilar then pulls her aside and warns that Gwen doesn't have Little E's best interests at heart. As luck would have it, Gwen walks in to hear her name. "Speak of the devil," Paloma whispers angrily.

Gwen acts hurt, but Ethan just hopes they were saying good things. Pilar explains they'd been complimenting Gertrude and are impressed with Gwen's choice. After Gwen gives Ivy and Rebecca credit, Ethan sits down to share the news with Little E. Gert-resa suggests it wait until after breakfast, but Gwen says it can't. Paloma teases she hopes he's not in trouble, thanks Gert-resa and leaves. Ethan doesn't say anything, which worries Theresa, but Gwen tells Gert-resa it's a family thing. Gert-resa counters that as the nanny, she should be involved and asks what's going on. Gwen reprimands her for speaking out of turn and reminds her she just started and isn't his mom. She apologizes again, this time for being overprotective of her charge, who looks worried. Little E says he's not worried. Ethan supports Gwen, but Pilar tells them grandma isn't going anywhere and Gert-resa manages to stay too. Little E asks if someone else is hurt or dead, so Ethan sits him down again. He recalls Julian sitting him down for the same talk, notes some of the greatest men in history went through the same thing and asks if Little E, "You want to be a mover and a shaker in this world, someday?" Though confused, Little E says he does. Ethan continues that it will be hard at first, but worth it. Gert-resa begs him to come out with it, which Gwen does not like, but Ethan finally tells him they're sending him to boarding school. Pilar's "No!" barely compares to Gert-resa's "Never!" Gwen tells Gert-resa to butt out, but Pilar jumps in and says Theresa would never have agreed to this, asking Ethan, "How could you?" She lets Ethan know she's already told Gwen how she feels on the subject, but Gwen counters she has no more say in the matter than Gert-resa does. She tells them about the expert who says Little E needs to get away from the bad memories, but Little E counters that this is where his good memories are. Pilar can't imagine what kind of therapist would suggest such a thing, gasping, "I'm never surprised by what Gwen does, but you Ethan?" Little E asks his father if he really wants to send him away and, after acknowledging it's not his decision, insists he wants to stay with his "mo--grandmother" and Ethan. Ethan sits down, looks him in the eye and agrees not to send him. Pilar shoots Gwen a satisfied look, while Gwen thinks, "This isn't over, Pilar." Theresa can't believe she ever doubted Ethan.

Tuesday
April 22, 2008
I Rest my Case

Little E thanks Ethan for not sending him to boarding school and Gert-resa applauds the turn of events. She tells Little E she's thrilled she'll get to keep getting to know him and whispers that she never doubted Ethan. Pilar gloats to Gwen about Ethan going against her, but Gwen simply brings up her psychologist. Pilar rolls her eyes, certain no psychologist would suggest sending Little E away. She knows the real issue is that Little E reminds Ethan of Theresa. "You have failed and you will always fail," she tells Gwen. "Theresa will always be in Ethan's heart." Eavesdropping Gert-resa can only hope her mother is right. Pilar warns Gwen she may as well give up on competing with Theresa, but Gwen just moves in on Ethan and Little E. She reminds Ethan of their discussion on the topic and tells Little E about the expert's advice, which Ethan had agreed with. Ethan contends Little E is too upset about boarding school for it to be the right decision. Fancy pokes her head in looking for Luis, who'd vanished on her. Ethan lets her know he rushed out earlier, "pretty upset about something." She figures it out and heads out to find him. As she leaves, Little E thanks her for his chemistry set. Ethan recalls Fox used that same set to blow up the gardening shed and almost burned down the stables. Little E thinks that's funny, but promises to be careful.

While he runs to get the kit, Gwen continues to work on Ethan. She empathizes that no child wants to go to boarding school, even if it's the right choice. After some back and forth arguing between Gwen and Pilar, Ethan says they have to go with their gut sometimes. Gwen just references her professional again, but then Ethan notes how much better Little E has been lately, even having made a joke about sharks. Gwen counters that's just a sign he's not dealing with his grief and they should be concerned and follow the psychologist's advice. Pilar, who doesn't care about the psychologist's advice, can't imagine Gwen and Ethan are even discussing it. She suspects the shark comments reflect his confusion and his need for his family. Little E returns with his chemistry set, bragging it's enough to blow up Harmony. Gert-resa reminds him he must have supervision to use it and watches over him. She asks Ethan to step aside and tells him, Gwen and Pilar that she agrees with Pilar, citing her experience as a nanny. Gwen thanks her, but agrees it's not her decision. She says parents are the ones who have to make tough decisions, but Gert-resa wins the day after asking Ethan if he can really bear sending Little E away. Passive aggressive Gwen shrugs that she knows Ethan wants to do what's right and there's no rush. "We can think about it and then do what the psychologist advised," she figures and moves onto Little E. She coos over his fancy chemistry set and tells him about the amazing chem lab at the school. He shrugs that he knows chemistry, so she tells him about the pool and lake, assuring him he'll like it. He ignores her, so she tries to make small talk with him and asks what one of the tubes is. "Poison," he says, without a hint of smile. She then casually strolls to Gert-resa and warns her to keep her opinions to herself. She also smiles that Gert-resa should reexamine which side she's on and who pays her check. Then she heads out for a bath, leaving Pilar to tell Ethan he can't send Little E away. They leave Little E and move the conversation to the hall. Ethan agrees with Pilar, but worries the psychologist was right. Gert-resa can't imagine that's the case and Pilar agrees. She suggests they discuss it more, but before following Ethan, she thanks Gert-resa for her support and imagines they'll persevere. She also notes she feels like she's know Gert-resa forever.

Theresa goes back in with Little E, noting how he loves the chemistry set. He shows her a trick, causing some foaming action to happen. He denies being concerned about all the boarding school talk, but Theresa doesn't buy it and promises him she and Pilar won't let it happen. "Why does Gwen hate me?" he asks, so Theresa explains that selfish Gwen is acting out because she wants Ethan all to herself. Before heading out, Theresa tells Little E to put the set away, since no one is watching him. Instead, Little E decides to counter Gwen's "surprise" with one of his own, while Gert-resa goes off to have tea with Ethan and Pilar. Ethan shares what the psychologist said about Little E gaining independence, but Gert-resa interrupts at the ridiculous concern that Little E will have behavioral problems if he stays. Then Pilar goes for the money, asking if Gwen and Beccs are really coming from the right place. He asks her not to attack Gwen, adding Beccs helped her find the psychologist. Gert-resa notes how poorly boarding school has done for the Crane men thus far and again says children need the people they love. Pilar agrees, saying Little E needs to stay near his father. "His father?" Ethan asks, but she just references the adoption and the fact that he's always been more of a father than Julian. She insists it's his job to protect Little E and keep him close, but he again references the psychologist. "Did he meet my grandson?" she asks and Ethan proves her case by saying no. She fears boarding school will be traumatic for him. Gert-resa adds that Ethan knows Little E best and should trust his heart.

Gwen is on the phone in her bubble bath, confident she'll get her way with Ethan. She hangs up to relax and puts two cucumbers over her eyes, unaware Little E has snuck into the room. He quietly pours something into the bathwater. "Is someone there?" she asks just as he gets to the door. He sneaks out, but not before she spots him and calls him a perve. Then she goes under water, while Little E returns to his room laughing that poor Gwen is going to end up quite blue from her bath. Then he sneaks downstairs, eavesdropping as his mom and Pilar work on Ethan until Ethan finally promises Little E will not be going to boarding school, no matter what. As he adds that Little E may decide to go one day on his own, they're interrupted by Gwen's scream. "The mad scientist did it again," chuckles Little E and Gwen comes running downstairs dyed blue. While Little E runs away with a smurf-tastic smile, she points the finger at him and insists he's going to school in Siberia. She's furious, but even Ethan can't help laughing.

At Harmony Hospital, Viki is in a quandary over her next move, while Eve, Ivy and Nurse Vincent watch Sam try to help Julian recall the attack. Esme is shocked when Julian says her niece's name, demanding to know if he's accusing Viki, who now stands in the doorway, silently panicking that it's all over. Julian just shrugs that he said her name because he noticed her come in. Relieved Esme slaps him in the head for giving her such a scare. She hugs Viki, calling it crazy talk, but Vincent didn't miss the look of fear that was on Viki's face before Julian explained. "What are you hiding?" he wonders, while Julian says he's too preoccupied to remember who attacked him. Sam can't believe he doesn't want to catch "the sick bastard who maimed you." Then Eve realizes something is wrong and Julian admits he needs to pee, but fears it won't work right. He laugh-cries over his fate and covers his head in horror. Ivy tells him to calm down, but Julian warns them to keep their distance in case it's messy. Then he gasps, "You're all just going to stand there and watch?" so Eve ushers the rest of the crew out. Esme asks why there's no catheter and when Eve starts to explain why Little Julian's catheter was removed, Sam loses his patience, demanding they stop calling it "Little Julian." He reminds Eve she's a doctor -- which Julian grumbles at -- and then leaves, telling Julian to let him know if he remembers anything. Before following, Esme reminds Julian it will all be better after his next surgery, while Viki reaffirms her plot to kill him before he can remember what she's done.

Nurse Vincent offers his dad the bed pan, but Julian insists he'll stand and pee like a man. They help him up and Vincent hands him the bed pan, suggesting he aim straight down. Eve tells him not to worry about missing. He screams because of the pain, but sighs in joy as it begins to work. Apparently he doesn't know it's spraying over his head and all over Eve and Vincent! The rest of the crew comes in for the end of it. "Did you all enjoy the show?" Julian demands, so Eve sends them away again. She tells Vincent to clean his father up, without giving his identity away. While Vincent cleans the nightgown, Julian says it's "unseemly" that a woman so pregnant is still working. He asks if the baby's daddy knows what's going on, which of course he (Julian) doesn't.

Outside, Sam asks when Julian will be up for talking about his attack, while Eve steps aside to order Julian's six different meds, telling the nurse the most important one is the one that keeps him from getting aroused. She warns an erection could be his end, which makes eavesdropping Viki smile, "Death by erection… how appropriate." After the nurse gets a call from home, Viki empathizes with her and swipes a vile of pills. Then she plots to give Julian a fatal erection, at the hands of fire starter Esme. She empathizes with her auntie about how sad Julian is and wonders how he'll ever feel strong and manly again. Viki is thrilled when Esme decides to use her "gift from God" to help and runs off. When she returns, she's changed into a pink coat and black gloves. "I'm going to go make Julian feel like a man again," she purrs and slithers into his room. She baby talks to Julian, but he says he's not in the mood. She gives him a sexy strip show, music and all. Julian likes the show, while Viki happily anticipates his death.

Before finally leaving, Ivy reprimands Eve, with Sam's support, noting the botched surgery was the worst fate for a man who defines himself by his conquests. Vincent comes out and his mom says, "You live by the sword: You die by the sword." Sam warns talk like that won't bear well when Julian's surgery is reviewed, but she's referring to the attacker. She explains that whoever hacked off Little Julian was likely a lady with an axe to grind. Before agreeing to leave with Ivy, Sam warns that Eve is on thin ice. Vincent enters, complaining about his sore back and boobs, and notes, "At least Daddy won't be knocking up anymore unmarried women, thanks to your malpractice." She tells him to shut up, insisting she can ignore him and repair Julian -- as long as he doesn't get an erection.

Luis busts into Pretty's hospital room, where Sheridan tells him he's too late to stop "the procedure." He's floored and when Pretty is rolled in by a nurse, he demands to know, "Why did you kill our baby?" He rails on her, while she thinks, "It's hard to have an abortion when you're not pregnant." The nurse starts to speak, but Pretty hushes her and send her off, saying it's a family matter. Luis can't believe "stuff like this" has happened to him and yells at her for not consulting him before making her decision. Sheridan suggests he give her some space, but he's sick over what she's done. Pretty asks what Sheridan is even doing there, so Sheridan tells Luis she's there for him and hugs him before leaving (to listen from the doorway). Alone with Pretty, Luis can only ask, "Why?" Once she's in bed, she finally reveals she couldn't do it. "I want our baby, Luis," she says and he hugs her in relief. Then the nurse comes in, asking her to sign that the procedure was a success. Luis immediately asks for an explanation, but Pretty turns it around, to the nurse's confusion, and Luis buys it. She sends him to get her water and, while she signs the papers, the nurse tells her the tattoo removal was a success and asks why her boyfriend thinks she had an abortion. She tells the nurse to butt out and sends her off. When Luis asks why she looks sad, she says she needs to be sure he's there for her and the baby.

Fancy shows up to have Sheridan call her an idiot and say she's lost Luis forever. Sher explains Pretty's plot all along was to claim to have the abortion only to change her mind. "She's playing him like a piano," she warns, but after their morning chat, Fancy is confident Luis is hers. She says Sheridan is jealous and Sheridan can't deny she's after Luis, but insists, "Pretty is playing her cards perfectly, but we're not even in the game." She shrugs that Luis loves her, but Sheridan says they've been outplayed, because whatever they say, they'll end up "looking like absolute bitches". Fancy believes in what Luis told her this morning, but when they listen in, they hear him tell Pretty, "You and this baby are the two most important people in the world to me, right now." Sheridan crosses her arms and says, "I rest my case."

Wednesday

April 23, 2008
It's Time to Turn up the Heat

Insensitive Nurse Vincent is entertained to learn an erection will kill Julian, but Eve isn't concerned, thanks to the medicine she's given him to stave off excitement. When she mutters that he'll be fine, Vincent is quick to remind her he is anything but. They go by Eve's old office, which is still in boxes. She grumbles at Vincent for getting her kicked off staff, but he tells her to stay on point and asks how "Daddy" feels about not being able to get aroused. He doesn't know, because she didn't want to upset Julian by telling him. Vincent shakes his head at her lies, but she fears the news he could die might put him over the edge. Vincent laughs at what irony it would be if Julian died of "terminal lust" or "death by horndog." She insists it's not funny, but Vincent keeps going. She tells him it's his fault and reminds him he's talking about his father. When she calls him sick, he chuckles and reminds her, "I'm your pregnant son, carrying my daddy's baby. That doesn't do much to encourage a normal psyche." Then he laughs about the poetic justice it would be if the thing Julian lives for ends up killing him.

Meanwhile, stripping Esme is putting a juicy smile on Julian's face. "Something is happening," he giggles, while Viki clutches those pills Eve thinks he's taking and anticipates his erectile death. Julian screams and cheers that Little Julian is waking up, but cries he's pointing the wrong way. Esme tells him to roll on his side and tries to use his medicine drip as a stripper pole. That doesn't work, but Julian still enjoys the show. She climbs into his bed and tries to find his penis. Julian has to roll over so she can get a better angle and is glad she's not the kind of woman who would freak at his strange dangle. Then Julian's moans turn from pleasure to pain. Esme doesn't realize until his cries sound like Chewbacca. Sirens go off and she starts yelling for help, while Viki rubs her hands in anticipation. Esme opens the door and grabs Eve, who demands to know where her clothes are. Eve is surprised to learn Julian has an erection, considering the meds she gave him. Nurse Vincent wonders if she made a mistake with the prescription, but Eve is sure she didn't. When Esme learns what she's done, she throws her jacket back on and tries to distract Julian by mentioning nuns and sweaty lumberjacks. Instead, she distracts herself as she starts imagining a crew of lumberjacks, so Eve tells her to shut it and Julian cries that he wants to live. Eve injects his penis to take away his erection. Viki whispers that it better not work, for Eve's sake, and Julian howls in pain. As Esme and Eve watch, Julian loses his erection and everyone sighs in relief. Julian cries for explanation. Vincent can't wait to see what his mom has to say, but she finally has the sense to send her "nurse" out of the room. Julian threatens jail if she doesn't explain, so she tells him an erection before his next surgery could kill him. Eve can't understand why the meds didn't work and Esme realizes it must be that she's just too sexy for the meds. While Eve demands Julian not get excited for any reason, he sucks his thumb.

Pretty gets Luis to repeat that she and the baby are the most important people to him, while Sheridan has an "I told you so" moment with Fancy. "What was that you were saying about being the most important person in the world to Luis?" she asks. Fancy turns away and refuses to believe she'd been replaced since that morning, but Sheridan tells her, "Pretty has been bumped to the front of the line, with her baby." Inside, glowing Pretty gets him to repeat it again. Fancy's hurt sigh is audible, making Luis and Pretty turn to the door. Pretty tells her to come in and giggles about "our baby". Sheridan follows her in and Pretty tells them how much Luis says she and the baby mean to him. She says she can't believe she almost had an abortion, while laughing to herself that she's not even preggers. Then she empathizes with single moms everywhere and thanks God for, "this great man I know I can lean on." She tells Luis she's never been cared for or felt so loved. "You do love me?" she asks. He's startled by the question, but says she and the baby are important to him. She asks him, "the most important?" and he says yes, so Fancy walks out. Luis follows, closing the door behind him.

Sheridan gives Pretty a slow round of applause, calling her performance masterful. "I gotta hand it to you. Congratulations. You are a true Crane, down to the bone." She just smiles at the compliment, admits to nothing, but smiles over Luis recognizing how much he loves her and the baby. "Don't get ahead of yourself," Sheridan says, reminding her she's still got competition. Then she commends her niece for upsetting Fancy so much she may step out of the race for Luis. "Keep feeding her doubts," Sheridan coos, but Pretty is "way ahead of" her. She warns her opposition often underestimates her in life and Sheridan would be wise not to do so again. She gloats over her power over Luis -- and Sheridan. Sheridan warns her to stay on her good side or she'll put on a show for Luis and confess Pretty's plot to him. Pretty counters that she doesn't want Fancy with Luis either, which Sheridan agrees with. Pretty loves her secret game, gloating to herself that not even Sheridan know the rules. Sheridan, for her part, can't wait to watch the sisters fight each other out of contention, so she can ultimately claim the prize.

Fancy won't even let Luis talk and insists it’s obvious Pretty is more important than her. He reminds her Pretty was going to have an abortion and insists, "I needed to tell her something so she could keep the baby." Fancy asks why he had to say Pretty was the most important, just hours after promising her that she was and no one would come between them. She insists Pretty is manipulating him with this pregnancy and abortion. He empathizes with Fancy, but also empathizes with Pretty's fears about being a single mom. He says the baby comes first and he'll say whatever it takes to keep Pretty calm and healthy. "Once she is secure, things will go back to normal," he promises, but Fancy knows it's just the beginning. She recounts how Pretty never had boundaries, but once she got scarred, she really seemed to believe, "normal rules of behavior didn't apply to her anymore." He accuses her of being hard on Pretty. She counters that Pretty is obsessed with him and begs him not to underestimate her. Not wanting to talk about Pretty anymore, he tells Fancy he loves her and she's the most important person to him. "That would be a lot easier to believe if I hadn't heard you say exactly the same thing to Pretty just now," she sighs, but he tells her to believe it. Eavesdropping Pretty is not pleased to hear him say he only said what she wanted to hear to protect his baby. He ultimately wins Fancy over with an "I love you," so Pretty plots, "It's time to turn up the heat a little more."

Blue Gwen is all the more angry and frustrated because Ethan, Gert-resa and Pilar can't stop smiling at her predicament. She insists Little E will pay, but Pilar says it's a good color on her and Ethan is sure it will come off. If it doesn't, giggling Pilar suggests she start a fashion trend. Ethan realizes how angry she is and tries to empathize with her frustration, but she yells at him, again insisting Little E will pay. Theresa silently commends her son's trickery, but fears he may have gone too far. Gwen calls herself a smurf, calls Little E "a mean kid" and insists this just proves her argument on boarding school. "That little brat, he's going!" she announces, but Ethan simply informs her he's decided Little E is staying. "After this?" she gasps, saying she's thinking military school, now. Ethan insists they don't know it was him and when Gwen says she maybe saw him in the bathroom, Ethan just tells her she's overreacting. She references the (faux) therapist's advice and suggests Little E is taking advantage of them. Then she asks what's next, "Sell drugs? Rob banks?" Pilar rolls her eyes, and so does Ethan. He says Little E will be punished if he pulled this "little prank", but not sent away. He says he'll confront Little E. Gwen imagines the kid will lie, so Ethan growls she should show some compassion for the orphaned boy. He's sure Little E won't lie to him. Gwen offers an ugly chuckle and reminds them what a liar his mother was. Gert-resa remains silently, and her mother and Ethan stand up for her. Ethan even points his finger at Gwen, asking her to control her temper. "Or what?" she challenges, but he leaves the room without answering. She snarls at Pilar that the brat is out. "Over my dead body," Pilar snarks, to which she counters, "Don't tempt me." Gert-resa finally jumps in, offering to get Gwen a robe. Pilar can't help but laugh at Gwen's blueness again. Then she sighs that it’s too bad it hadn't been sulfuric acid in her bath, since that's what she deserves. She rants about Gwen and Beccs causing Theresa's death until Gwen grumbles that she's sick of the guilt trips and storms out. Pilar just follows her and warns she's stepped out of her role of good wife this evening, with all the yelling, and will continue to show her true colors. "Green is more like it," she accuses, sure Gwen's still jealous of Theresa and Ethan's love. Then she postulates that Gwen dyed her own skin to get her grandson out of the house and calls her shameless. Instead of denying she's trying to rid the house of anything Theresa-related, Gwen shrugs, sure it will work. Pilar says it's absurd to think sending Little E away or anything else will change Ethan's feelings for Theresa. She laughs that Gwen's machinations only succeed in forcing Ethan to talk more about Theresa. Gwen tries to walk away, but Pilar stops her to call her pitiful and says if she truly believed she was in Ethan's heart now, "You wouldn't act so desperate." Gwen goes upstairs to change and pack up Little E, promising she'll get him sent far away. Pilar wishes Theresa were there to stop this.

Gert-resa finds Ethan looking for their son. She asks if Ethan thinks he really dyed Gwen and suggests it's a prank that went too far. She says he's lucky to have Ethan for a dad and that he loves Ethan very much. He counters that he's felt a fatherly bond since delivering him. He then apologizes for speaking out of turn with the nanny, but she's glad he's so comfortable with her. He wishes Theresa were there, because she was the bestest mom ever. Gert-resa wishes she could tell him the truth. When Ethan returns, he asks Pilar if Gwen has calmed, which of course she hasn't. He hopes Little E wasn't responsible for the blue, since Gwen will be even more committed to sending him away, but Pilar gets him to again promise that won't happen. He's just worried about convincing Gwen and prays there's another explanation. He notes that he's not against boarding school, but rather against Little E going now. Pilar points out Gwen has changed her argument and seems to just want Ethan gone, no matter the reason. Ethan can't hear that she's not a good mom. Meanwhile, Gwen is on the hunt, intent on finding proof Little E is responsible. She catches her reflection in the mirror and whines about it. Then she searches the room and finds the chemistry set, with Ethan's blue fingerprints. She marches it right into the living room and shows them the proof, announcing Little E is leaving that night.

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