SoapOperaFan.com . . . Passions Summaries

Eve again warns Julian that having an erection before his reparative surgery could kill him. After the pain of the last one, he needs no convincing. Eve is just glad she interrupted it before his penis popped off, since that may have made reattachment impossible. Esme is relieved too, sighing, "I'd hate to be the reason people started calling you 'Stumpy.'" The ladies empathize with Julian's frustration and humiliation, but Eve promises good things if he can stay un-aroused. Easier said than done! "I'm a hot-blooded man, despite my damaged dangler," Julian worries, so Eve tells him to control his thoughts and Esme to keep on her clothes. When Esme giggles that she's hot even in her clothes, Eve decides to drag her out of the room and restrict all visitors. Julian worries he'll be lonely, but that's just what Eve has in mind. She tells him to think pure thoughts, read a book or watch TV, but Julian can find sexual innuendo on The Weather Channel. She gives him two very dry magazines -- "Global Business" and "Field and Forrest " -- but just imaging how he'd prefer the pictures in a National Geographic heats him up. He is frustrated, but Eve offers, "You can be limp and live, or you can have one last erection and die." Then she pushes Esme out of the room, telling her not to return until after the surgery.

When they leave, Julian tells his penis to take it easy for a change. Then a fishing photo in the magazine reminds him how people used to say his penis was so big. He fantasizes that he's fishing off the end of the bed and then catches a mermaid-esque Beccs, who says, "I love a man with a big rod!" She apologizes she has to leave him for other men, but he says she's his and calls for help. Eve and Esme enter in yellow raingear and hold her back for him. He flashes his penis at them and suddenly, they're all dressed for the beach. "Surf's up, so to speak," he brags and the ladies fight over him and his Big Kahuna. The fantasy sets him smiling, until he remembers he has to stay clear of such excitement. "It's going to be harder than I thought... not to be hard," he grumbles and tries to distract himself with the TV, but the rap video playing is all about getting undressed and getting it on. He quickly changes the channel, and the unseen show has a woman cooing and moaning over a song that sounds very much like the Passions intro. Julian is smitten with the redhead, and amazed by what she and her cohort are up to. "What sort of sick mind comes up with this stuff?" he marvels. "It's got to be some reclusive hack with too much time on his hands." The show starts giving him ideas about Beccs, so he has to change the channel again, but he soon finds even the cannons in a war movie get him aroused. He grumbles that everything on TV is riddled with sex and bemoans not being in the thick of it anymore. Then he promises his penis he'll make it up to him, which leads to another fantasy, this one ala "Dynasty". Beccs referees as Eve and Esme have a bizarre, staged catfight, with Julian calling the shots from a wheelchair. He interrupts to yell at them when the diamonds start flying, so they all turn their attention on him, covering him with kisses. Julian just can't stop his "huge carnal urges", so he decides to go to sleep. When he closes his eyes, he sees his three ladies offering him sex. "I'm destined to die from thoughts of doing the deed!" he fears. Later, Eve and Esme come by to check on him and are relieved to find him resting. They're both worried about him staying un-aroused, so Esme suggests they surround him with ugly nurses. Eve worries that's not legal, adding, "Even a beastly nurse could arouse Julian," so Esme suggests male nurses.

Smurftastic Gwen rages that she's caught Ethan blue-handed, thanks to the blue fingerprints left on the chemistry set. Pilar shrugs anyone on staff could be responsible. "They all hate you, Gwen," she says and Ethan can't deny it, but Gwen insists they all know it was Ethan. She references "Dr. Spears" advice, suggesting the behavioral problems he warned about are already starting. She rages that Little E will burn down the manse and kill them all, concluding, "Theresa's little spawn in going to boarding school--tonight!" Ethan tells her to calm down, noting this is totally out of character for Little E. and was not likely him. She again references the "doctor's" warning, insisting the only surprise is that it happened so soon. Ethan isn't convinced, adding that even if it were Ethan, "sending him away seems like overkill." Gwen compares him to Eric and Lyle Menendez and screams that Little E has probably poisoned her. Pilar and Gert-resa wish it were true, while Ethan again tells her she's overreacting, which only makes her more insistent that Little E go to boarding school. When Ethan refuses to make a decision without talking to Little E and confirming whether he actually put anything in Gwen's bath, Gwen tells him to hurry and ask Ethan and fast--before he hurts his sibs. Ethan guffaws at her again, but she just hopes Little E gets the help he needs at boarding school. She points out everyone says murderous kids seemed harmless until they actually flip out and kill their families. "He needs to learn that revenge isn't good and that this kind of behavior won't be tolerated," she vents.

Pilar and Gert-resa hold their tongues about her hypocrisy, but when Gwen again says he's going away, Gert-resa slips and yells, "You can't send Little Ethan away. You are not his mother!" Gwen gets right in Gert-resa's face, aghast that the nanny doesn't know better than to talk to her that way. Gert-resa repeats herself, explaining that only Ethan is adopting Little E, so Gwen has no say. "You're skating on thin ice," Gwen warns, but then Gert-resa tells Ethan he can't do what Gwen is suggesting, because it's not what Little E's mother would want. Ethan looks concerned for the outspoken nanny, while Gwen wonders how Gert-resa would even know what Theresa would want, since she was "lucky" enough to have never met her. Ethan didn't like that one! Gert-resa just says she's heard so much about Theresa from Ethan and Pilar that she feels she knows Theresa would want her son home and surrounded by family. Ethan tells her she's right, telling Pilar, "She's told me numerous times how much your family suffered when you were forced to send Paloma to Mexico and Theresa vowed never to do that to her children." Gwen tells Ethan this is not a decision for "the help" to make and says they'll discuss it one-on-one after she showers. Before Ethan follows to search for Little E and get to the bottom of this, Gert-resa speaks up for her son again, insisting Ethan not send him away. "The poor thing would think that he's being punished, on top of being abandoned," she sighs, reminding him that Gwen was the one who raised her voice at Little E and started this. He respects her position, but goes to look for Little E.

Left alone, Pilar moves in to thank the nanny for being Little E's champion, but Gert-resa tries to keep her distance. Pilar is becoming suspicious -- or hopeful! -- thinking, "Gertrude is Gertrude... isn't she?" When Ethan returns, he's had no luck finding Little E and admits he's "on the fence." He references Dr. Spears warning that Little E would have problems, amazed at how quickly Little E seems to have follow suit. Pilar counters one mistake doesn't warrant sending him away and begs him to trust his own instincts. "You are Little Ethan's father," she insists, so Ethan reminds her for the millionth time that Julian is. Gert-resa starts to panic when she realizes her mom is about to tell Ethan the truth, fearing Juanita will kill the family if she does. She "accidentally" bumps Pilar with her tray to interrupt and then bumbles in apology, refusing to let the conversation continue. Pilar tries to shoo her away, until Gert-resa offers to get her hot cocoa with chili pepper. Pilar stops short, so Gert-resa quickly makes up a story about a family in Mexico, but Pilar doesn't look convinced. When Ethan excuses himself to look for Little E, Pilar thanks Gert-resa again, but Gert-resa is worried she's been recognized. She tries to make her escape, but then slips up and responds to Pilar's Spanish. She again references the Mexican family, only to have her teary mother cry, "Madre de Dios, it's you Theresa!" She takes her daughter in her arms and Theresa finally admits it. They cry and embrace some more, as Ethan searches for Little E.

Meanwhile, a still blue Gwen runs into Beccs, who's just had a roll in the hay -- literally! -- with Eddie (aka Dr Spears). She sees Gwen's blueness as a tool to get rid of Little E and Gwen tells her she's a step ahead. Beccs is thrilled, until Gwen shuts her down with the news that Gert-resa ruined her play by saying Theresa wouldn't want her son sent away. Beccs rants about "the help" and Gwen considers flogging her, but then gets serious, noting her instincts say Gert-resa needs to go. Beccs reminds her she'll still have the other two kids after she gets rid of Little E and will still need Gert-resa's help, but Gwen isn't sure, noting "That woman gets under my skin. I just don't know why."

Luis continues to assure Fancy she's the one and only for him, not knowing Pretty and Sheridan are eavesdropping. Pretty isn't concerned, confident she and the baby can beat out Fancy. "Just watch. Luis will be mine before we even christen our bundle of joy," she predicts before interrupting to ask Luis for a ride home. Fancy suggests Sheridan do it, but Luis says he will and Sheridan is impressed at how good Pretty is at driving a wedge between the couple. Pretty thanks him and hugs him, while Fancy keeps her cool by reminding herself of Luis' assurances that he loves her. As Pretty walks out, she innocently asks Fancy if she's joining them, knowing full well Fancy drove herself there. When Luis follows Pretty out, Sheridan huffs, "Wow, that's some wedgie Pretty gave you."

At the manse, Luis gets Pretty settled in, while she coos that she feels better now that Luis told her she and the baby are the most important to him. Sheridan and Fancy enter, running a few minutes behind since they hadn't been able to use the police siren to get home. Pretty is feeling quite cocky, until Luis explains he is off to spend time with Fancy, since they had special plans for the day. Pretty quickly turns on her passive aggressive charm, trying to manipulate him into working on the nursery with her instead. As usual, Luis says just enough to show he's alive, while the ladies duke it out around him. Fancy can't believe her sister is already thinking of the nursery the very day she learned she's preggers, railing, "This has nothing to do with your baby. You're doing this to keep Luis from spending the day with me." Fancy then promises her sister that she won't come between her and Luis. Pretty is aghast at Fancy's attack, whining that she wants her baby to feel wanted and loved. She grumbles that she doesn't want her baby born in a pit like Sheridan's, which Sheridan takes personally, reminding all that was only because she'd been kidnapped. "Marty's life was turbulent from the moment that he was born," Pretty says. "Beth used him to steal you away from Aunt Sheridan. An innocent baby, Luis, treated like a lure. I don't want that for our child." Luis agrees -- what else would he do? -- and she counters that as much as he wants what's right, he wants his "planned" day with Fancy more than this "unplanned" baby time. She continues to turn everything he says around and again threatens to get an abortion instead of having an "unwanted, unloved child". He insists he wants and loves the baby, while Fancy watches in amazement. Then he really blows her away by agreeing to work on the nursery with Pretty. Pretty smiles, giggles and rushes to the other room to get started, being sure to give her angry sis an elbow on the way out.

Luis stumbles for the words that will convince Fancy not to freak out. Too late for that! Fancy points out the obvious -- that Pretty's manipulating him. He acknowledges Pretty's being needy and testing him. He says he's not stupid (sure!) and gets that she is a scared single mother who needs to see that he is supporting her. Fancy isn't convinced that's what's going on, but Luis says he can't take the chance that Pretty will abort the baby. "Look at them go at it--and I'm just getting started," eavesdropping Pretty brags to herself. Fancy ultimately accepts Luis's explanation that he has to indulge Pretty, but she's not happy about it. When he leaves with Pretty, she tells Sheridan she's sure she's lost the fight already. "One down, one to go," Sheridan thinks. Then she sits down with Fancy and agrees that Pretty is manipulating Luis. "Why do you care?" Fancy grumbles, but Sheridan simply recalls Beth's plots to steal Luis by pretending to be preggers, which leads to Pretty realizing her sister may be playing the same game.

Tuesday
April 29, 2008
I'm Going to Have to Take Drastic Measures!

After a heavy mattress section at Tabitha's house, Edna tells Norma they should get their next gig set up soon. Norma hopes they're not going on another Alaskan tour, where the ladies care more about fishing than Edna and Norma's performances, but Edna insists they'll do whatever it takes to pay off their P'Town summer home. When Tabby enters, Norma asks if she can take credit for the "strange things" in the paper, like a chicken laying a hardboiled egg. Edna is relieved when the witch insists it's just a scam, not evil on its way to Harmony. There's some side talk about being environmentally responsible, with Edna bragging she only uses one diaper a day, regardless of need. Then Norma finds a story about a cat having a litter of puppies. "Uh-oh," Tabby thinks to herself and shaken, asks what else is in the paper. Norma's next article is about Netta Cochran's husband returning from the dead. Tabitha pulls out her Book of Disasters, which leads Edna to rant, "Is that a list of NBC's programming decisions? You know, to make The Today Show four hours long, and give a hit soap the boot to do it!" Tabby laughs that Mr. Zuker wrote the preface, before getting serious. She agrees the signs in the paper are concerning, but not necessarily disastrous -- unless they're true. If they're true, then disaster is on its way. The wacky duo hopes all is okay, as they are warming up to the idea of retiring in Harmony soon. Tabitha is sure the stories aren't true and tells the girls they can sleep well. Relieved, they head up to bed. Tabitha decides to hang out downstairs, so she doesn't have to listen to their evening romp. She opens the paper to read the story on the returned dead man and sees Cochran's grave had been dug up from the inside out, according to Sam. "Evil really is coming to Harmony," she gasps and then her Book of Disasters bursts in flames. "Life as I've known in Harmony for nearly 400 years is going to change forever," she cries, fearing the "unspeakable horrors" coming.

Just as Esme washes her meds down with some Jack Daniels, Viki walks up and startles her. While Esme fumbles to find an explanation for Julian's condition that her "innocent" niece can understand, Viki flashes back to her not-so-innocent attack on Julian and Little Julian. After Esme explains Julian's condition in baby talk, Viki asks point blank what an erection will do to him. Esme thinks his penis will pop off, leaving him to bleed to death, but isn't sure. Viki likes the sound of that, especially when she sees Julian is having a dream that is getting him aroused. She suggests she and Esme go get a little snack and Esme agrees, but then goes in to see if Julian needs something. Too bad for Viki, Esme sees what's up and screams, "Shades of Bruce Willis, Julian is going to Die Hard!" Viki suggests they see if it goes down on its own, but Esme rushes off. Viki grumbles that Julian's murder has been tougher than her first four put together. Then Esme runs by with water and throws it on Julian. He wakes with a scream and she quickly explains. He recalls a whip cream dream, but she interrupts and reminds him he can't go that way. She tucks him in and when he checks out her boobs, she insists, "I'm going to have to take drastic measures!" She returns dressed like an old lady. Julian doesn't know if he even wants to talk to her looking so dour, but gives in and lets her read him the yellow pages. Viki is sure Esme's plan will protect Julian, so she joins them. He says she can stay for a bit, but worries even she offers budding sexuality. In the end, it's Esme's fishnet stalking peeking out of her coat that distracts him. Viki tattles on Julian for staring, so Esme heads out to get even less sexified. Instead, Viki grabs the wig and jacket off her, exposing her to Julian, who immediately reacts. Esme panics and calls someone for help. Julian's sorry to see her go, but understands it's for the best. Bored, he decides to ask Tabby to bring his daughter for a visit. Before he can call, however, Edna and Norma enter dressed as candy stripers. Esme follows and takes credit for calling them over. She takes a seat with Julian and waits for them to perform. The two start doing a strip tease! Horrified, Julian watches from behind his sheet as they take off knee braces, diapers and even a jock strap. "No more!" he screams and Viki can't agree more.

Fancy is thrilled when a servant sends her to her room for a surprise and she finds the surprise is Luis. After a kiss, he explains the "secret rendezvous" is an attempt for some alone time, sans Sheridan and Pretty. Of course, those two are eavesdropping at the door, wondering how they can best interrupt. When Fancy admits she can't get past the situation with Pretty, Luis again begs her to trust him. "That's what you told Aunt Sheridan when Beth pretended to be pregnant by you," she reminds him, noting Beth's plan worked. He insists she doesn't have to compete with Pretty or the baby. "Who's the one woman in the world for me? It's not Sheridan. It's not Pretty. It's you," he says, promising they'll be together forever. Pretty wants to run in to interrupt, but Sheridan holds her back, explaining she must keep her cool, while dreaming of the sisters taking each other down. As Fancy and Luis start to get it on, Sheridan worries it's weird that they're watching it. Pretty shrugs that it's fine, as long as they don't get into it, and then gets an idea. The two run off and return with a cage of bats. Sheridan worries releasing them into Fancy's room is going too far, but Pretty shrugs they'll blame the Crane zoo wrangler. Sheridan agrees, with the caveat that she thinks it's a bad idea. Pretty slides the cage in and slides out, but there's no follow up commotion in the room. They investigate and find Luis and Fancy are gone. Then they're the ones who have to run from the bats! After they get away, they grumble over losing Luis and Fancy. They panic that the couple's next step is marriage, but Pretty is intent on tracking them down and torpedoing their relationship once and for all. At the same time, Luis uncovers Fancy's eyes to show her the romantic night he's prepared. They immediately kiss and she calls it a dream. He promises all their dreams will come true and, unbeknownst to her, pulls out an engagement ring.

Pilar is beside herself with joy as Theresa recounts being saved by the DEA and escaping back to Harmony. She reminds her mom her being alive puts them in danger and they tearfully embrace. Ethan walks in and thinks that's very odd! He asks Pilar for an explanation and then Gert-resa says his name, while hiding because she doesn't have her glasses on. Ethan stumbles that he thought Pilar was in there with someone, but never says who. He's interrupted when a cleaned up Gwen walks in. She is not happy to hear Ethan hasn't tracked down Little E. Pilar then explains she'd been talking to Gert-resa about Theresa and got emotional. Ethan notes the nanny has a big heart like Theresa did, before going up with Gwen. Pilar and Theresa want to tell him the truth, but Theresa says they can't, not as long at Juanita is on the loose. She tells her mom Little E knows, but not Jane, and then admits, "I don't know how much longer I can watch Ethan with Gwen." As hard as she struggled to get home, she's starting to wonder if she should have stayed away. Pilar insists Grandma and the Nanny will be able to protect Little E and keep Gwen from sending him away, but she fears Theresa's secret will get out. "You have to go away Theresa," she warns. Theresa agrees it's risky and hard for her, but says she can't leave Little E with Gwen. She promises to remain in hiding until Juanita is caught. Needless to say, she can't wait for that to happen so she can tell Ethan everything, from Little E's paternity to Gwen's part in her "death".

Gwen gets Ethan upstairs for some private time. She throws him on the bed, straddles him and rips his shirt open. He marvels at "what you're doing to me" and says she's "become a wild woman in the sack." She's sure he can keep up, and is willing to do anything to get rid of Little E. When she leaves to freshen up for another round, Ethan pulls Theresa's picture out of his dresser. Gwen hears him say he won't get over losing her and can't imagine what more she can do to help him get over it. She leaves and reenters with a cough, so he doesn't know she's caught him mooning over his ex. He balks at going for another round, but she gets him worked up anyway. She moans that she loves him and he responds, "I'll never stop loving you," but he's talking to Theresa's memory and Gwen knows it.

In Mexico, Juanita is on the run, having heard the Americans were working with the Mexican Feds to bring her down. "I cannot be caught until I exact my revenge on Pilar and her family," she insists, but then she gets cornered. A Mexican officer calls in that he has her, but she knocks his gun and runs. He corners her again, and this time a helicopter has her in its light when he says she's under arrest. As he cuffs her, he reprimands her for thinking she could escape and tells her it's all over. "No!" she growls.

Wednesday
April 30, 2008
It Would be Nice if Life was More Like a Telenovela

As Theresa puts her Gert-resa costume back on at the manse, she's caught between relief at having her mother's support and fear her identity will get out. Pilar is just thrilled her daughter is alive and can't keep her hands off her. As Gert-resa bemoans having to keep this secret from Ethan, he enters to ask, "What secret?" She stumbles and then admits they were talking about telenovelas. He teases them for being fans, but buys the story. He then recalls Theresa and Little E loved watching those together, adding that even the commercials give him a pang of sadness now. "It would be nice if life was more like a telenovela," he sighs. "It would be nice if Theresa was secretly alive somewhere and she could come back to me." He apologizes for getting too personal yet again, but the nanny tells him not to worry and Pilar tells him Theresa would be thrilled to hear what he's said. He admits his mother says Theresa should let him go. Pilar scoffs at Ivy's advice. Then Ethan admits he's beside himself with grief and unable to handle all the recent problems that have arisen. "If Theresa were still here, everything would be different," he bemoans. He turns to mope off, but Gert-resa asks Ethan what he would want to happen in his telenovela. "I fantasize about Theresa coming back pretty much all the time," he admits, so Gert-resa asks what he would do if Theresa came home. Pilar tries to stop her daughter, but Ethan is enjoying the conversation. He imagines Theresa's big return would be romantic. He'd be summoned to a romantic room where her perfume and soft music fills the room, only to find his one true love.

Pilar tells Ethan he's torturing himself and shoots Gert-resa a look, but Ethan is glad for the fantasy and reveals he feels Theresa is near him. "It was the first time I felt whole in weeks," he sighs and Theresa swears silently to make his dream a reality. When he leaves, Pilar reprimands her for temping fate. They again fret over Juanita learning she's alive and Theresa worries the hiding could go on for years. She considers quitting as Gert-resa, but instead prays to God for Juanita's capture. Then Pilar gets a call with news that Theresa's prayers have been answered! As they embrace over her freedom, Theresa is already planning her reveal about herself and Little E's paternity. She runs out, but stops short, realizing she must give Ethan his telenovela fantasy. Pilar tells her not to wait, but Theresa just gives her a note to pass to him. It asks him to come to one of the spare rooms, where Theresa is preparing for the big moment. She thanks God for his help, promises not to lie or scheme and goes to freshen up in the bathroom.

Tabitha paces the house with the Book of Disasters, which is no longer flaming but still popping and fizzling. When Paloma enters asking Kay for advice, Tabs hides the book behind her back. Kay is trying to deny having been in love with both Miguel and Fox at the same time, but Tabby won't let her. Paloma begs Kay to help her understand how she could love two men. Before she can answer, the book sparks like "fireworks", catching Paloma's eye. Kay shoots Tabitha a look of warning and Tabby poofs the book across the room just as Paloma closes in on her. "That was like another strange thing that's happening in this house to add to the list," Paloma marvels and Kay goes along with it. Tabby suggests it must be static electricity, so Paloma turns the convo back to her two men, who enter on cue when she says their names. They instantly start bickering, jockeying for a position with her, so Kay tells them to, "Knock it off." She pulls Paloma aside and admits she was miserable during her love triangle days. She wishes she'd listened to her heart and gone for Miguel to begin with. Paloma can't forget about Noah's illicit kiss, so Kay says to talk to him before it's too late.

When Paloma takes Noah for a private chat, Miguel shows up for "wedding work." Kay and Migs get to work, while Tabitha realizes she can't warn Kay of the impending darkness, since the young, unpracticed witch would try to fight it. Miguel comments on how expensive the wedding favors were, but Kay tells him they're saving money by putting it together themselves. Then he asks Roberto for a hand with some boxes, leaving Kay to question Tabitha about why she's "acting like the Queen of Gloom and Doom." She accuses the witch of casting spells, so Tabitha lies that she was just working a little surprise for the wedding favors. She plays the martyr until Kay apologizes and asks what the spell will do. "Things are going to happen that will make your wedding unforgettable," Tabitha offers euphemistically, while thinking, "The bride of Frankenstein had a better shot at a happy marriage than you do dear." When the boys return, Kay gets right into the boxes with Miguel, determined to plan the most romantic double wedding ever, but Tabitha fears evil is targeting her special day--not to mention Kay and everyone around her. She joins Kay and Miguel at the gift preparation table, where she samples a few tasty wedding chocolates. She giggles that she's often thought chocolate was one of human's historic saving graces.

Meanwhile, Noah again explains the kiss at the bar and says he never dated the old regular who'd come onto him so strong. He does admit he'd thought about it, but insists he only wants to think about Paloma now. She says she's heard it before, so he plants a kiss on her and she gives in. He tells her they always find their way back to each other because they are meant to be together. She says she believes him, but it doesn't look like it. He suggests they take a vacation and she agrees. When he rushes out to tell Kay they're going to skip out on the wedding prep, Roberto enters. He reminds her of what a good time they had the other night and asks to talk, but she insists Noah has her heart and will have her hand. He congratulates her again, as if having given up, but when Noah heads back in, a shock from the Book of Disasters beats him to the kitchen. He finds the duo kissing passionately. When they break, a confused Paloma doesn't understand what's happened. Noah storms out and Paloma follows in tears to the living room, where Kay's dress has been delivered. She won't show it to Miguel for fear of bad luck, but as she opens the box, another spark prepares to leave the book. Tabitha begs her to put it away, until Noah and Paloma enter bickering. While Paloma insists the kiss is a product of the house and Noah challenges Roberto to a duel outside, the spark catches on Kay's dress. "If that isn't a bad sign, I don't know what is," Tabitha thinks. Kay smells the smoke and everyone stomps the fire out, while Kay cries over it.

Pretty and Sheridan are in a panic over having lost Luis and Fancy. "We have to ruin this day and all their days together," Sheridan groans, while Pretty fears they're about to lose the game for good. Imagine if they knew the couple is off in the romantic inn, with Luis preparing to pop the question! Luis tells Fancy he loves her and not to talk of Pretty, so she kisses him. He again promises no matter what he says to keep her batty sister in line, Fancy is the one he loves. He gets down on one knee and pops out the ring box. "When you came into my life, I finally realized miracles can happen," he starts, leading up to the big question. She's beside herself, but when it comes time for her answer, she refuses his proposal. She's sure the news will just incite someone's efforts to stop them, so he suggests they keep it a secret. She also wonders if he's proposed because she's upset about Pretty. "Have you gone insane?" he gasps, insisting he respects the sacrament of marriage too much to propose for the wrong reasons. He's so frustrated he calls her an idiot and vents about his love until she asks why he's screaming at her. He finally earns a smile when he says he'll tattoo "I love Fancy" on his chest. She apologizes for ruining his big moment and asks if they can start their evening over again. He teases he can't remember it, but then gets down on the other knee and gives her the same proposal. This time, she accepts with glee. Meanwhile, Sheridan finally guesses they're at the inn and she and Pretty bribe the innkeeper for the couple's room number. Sheridan is aghast to peek through the keyhole and see Luis on one knee. She falls back speechless, but Pretty can't help but release a blood curdling scream when she spies what's happening.

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