SoapOperaFan.com . . . Passions Summaries

With the sand run halfway through the Hourglass of Destruction, Tabby is losing her patience over her daughter's invisibility act. She begs Endora to show herself so they can skip town before it's too late. When Jua-melia shows up instead, Tabby asks her to keep an eye out for "anything moving that shouldn't be moving." Then she gets back to searching, leaving Jua-melia to unload and caress her plastic explosives, while cackling about her plan. Her lackey shows up with bomb parts from a home improvement store. He marvels over finding it so easily in this day and age, but Jua-melia shrugs "the gringo's homeland security" doesn't worry about internal threats. "Nothing will stop us," she cheers just as Tabby returns. The witch is quick to ask what won't be stopped, not to mention the identity of her sidekick. He's more than annoyed when he realizes Jua-melia doesn't even know his name, but Jua-melia quickly explains that her friend "Hench" is there to help her get settled in. Hench jumps in to add that she caught them talking about remodeling the house, which Tabby doesn't like hearing. Then she laughs it off and says they can do what they want. She leans in for a look at the explosives and starts playing with it, thinking it's gum used to protect delicates. She even takes some to use in her packing. Tabby suddenly realizes that if Jua-melai does any landscaping, she'll uncover more bodies than you can find in Harmony's graveyard, but then she shrugs the idea off, since she'll be gone already and Jua-melia won't likely survive the coming destruction. "Blow it up, if you like," she offers the new owner before walking out again. Left alone, Jua-melia and Hench start going through the boxes. When she sees there's no timing device yet, she slaps him across the face. He explains that to keep the feds from getting suspicious, he's going to buy it from another store the next day. Jua-melia understands, but there's of course no apology. After he outlines how he'll plant the bomb during the wedding rehearsal at the church, she sets out to take a walk to clear her head, but not before warning there can be no mistakes in her vengeance.

When Tabby returns, the pair is gone, so she checks the sand again and calls for her daughter, who tells her to "Get a grip!" She also refuses to leave town. Tabby orders her daughter to cut it out, insisting she's old enough to know what's at stake, but Enodra doesn't want to leave her friends to die. "Can't we help?" she asks. Tabby reminds her they tried everything in the book and that they too will die for good if they don't leave.

Sheridan gets in Pretty's face, charging her with choosing to stay miserable and bitter. "It's over," she cries and peels Pretty's scar right off her! Pretty grabs for it, and then grabs for her face, crying that it hurts. "Is there blood?" she asks desperately, while Luis and Fancy try to take in the big news that Pretty's scar is fake. "I want it back," Pretty cries. When Sheridan says no, she charges at her, but Luis catches her. Fancy says her face is lovely, but Pretty starts crying that she's ugly and she needs her scar. Not even Luis saying she's beautiful can get through to her. Sheridan reveals Pretty's face heeled years ago and she's been using it as "an excuse to be a total failure in love, in life, as a human being." Luis asks her how she knew, so she explains that she was curious about why no doctor could fix Pretty's face, so she did the research and called all her old doctors, who were shocked to hear she still had the scar. "She wanted to be ugly," Sheridan says and they all turn to look at Pretty. "I'm not presentable. I have to put my face on," Pretty says, dropping to the floor and devolving into unhinged mutterings about her "beautiful scar." After calling the hospital for help, Fancy tries to calm her sister. She caresses Pretty's arm, but Pretty doesn't seem to hear her and continues muttering.

At the same time, Luis thanks Sheridan, who quickly goes from anger over her niece's deceit to heartbreak. Watching Pretty reminds Sheridan of her grandmother, who "went mad" and was confined in a room by the attic for decades. She had to be watched 24/7. "Like the wife in Jane Eyre," Luis notes. Sheridan agrees, continuing that while the stories of grandma seemed thrilling and spooky to her as a child, seeing Pretty descend into madness makes them all too real. "It's horrible," she shudders, before going on about her sleepless "clever" grandma who, if not watched, "would run through the house bloodshot eyes, wild hair, barely dressed." Luis is stunned, but Sheridan notes that every family has its secrets. "She was so paranoid and filled with hate," she continues. "She tried to kill her husband, cut the throats out of her own children." She fears all the Cranes - especially the women - are susceptible to the crazy in their genes. Luis tells her she's not going to go mad, but she can't help but think of all the crazy things she's already done to get him back. "Is there any chance for me?" she asks, teary. "Can we ever have what we once had?" He wonders at the timing of her question, but says, "Sheridan, I love you... but..." He references all their past lives and how each of them have ended with them apart, which is what happened this time. "It's my fault," she says, recalling how she pushed him away over Marty's presumed death and everything else. He apologizes, but she won't hear it. "I want you to be happy Luis. It's just going to be so hard to be without you," she says, mourning the hope she had for them and saying that it will have to "be enough" to see him so happy with Fancy. Luis counters that she's let chances for happiness pass, but he is sure there's a guy waiting for her. She doesn't want to hear it.

The conversation is tabled when the phone starts ringing. After Luis answers, he and Fancy tell Pretty some "nice people" are going to take her away to get help. "They'll make me beautiful again?" she asks happily, but when Fancy says they'll help her with her pain, Pretty demands to know what kind of people they are. "It's for your own good," Sheridan says, at which Pretty jumps up, backs away and refuses to go to the crazy house. Fancy says wearing a fake scar wasn't normal, but Pretty counters, "It isn't fake. It's just invisible. Fancy, you put a scar on my heart." Fancy again insists that the whole thing was an accident, but Pretty pulls a gun and threatens to kill her. Then she explains she's going to keep Fancy at gunpoint while they order her a getaway car and get the Crane jet ready for takeoff. "Oh honey," Sheridan tries, but Fancy's sure her sister means her threat. Luis makes the call, while Pretty cries that Fancy is her "ticket out of here". Then she starts cackling about shooting Fancy's face to give her a scar. Fancy gives Luis a look and then loses her patience again, screaming at her sister for faking it and calling her a freak. As Pretty answers back, Luis knocks the gun from her hand and gets her in a virtual headlock. After he gets her into a straight jacket, he leads Pretty out. She screams the whole way, spewing her hatred for Fancy and swearing she'll kill her.

When Beccs asks Gert-resa what she knows about Theresa, the "nanny" is sure her nemeses are onto her about something, but still unsure of just what they know. She buys time by playing dumb, while Gwen smiles happily. Ethan steps in to ask why Beccs would ask Gertie about Theresa and why they were taking about "dealing with Theresa" in the first place. Beccs laughs at the idea that Gert-resa has had a makeover, considering she has the worst teeth in the county, so Ethan reprimands her for her cruelty, but Gwen cannot wait for her mother to drop the last bomb and reveal Gert-resa's identity... that is, until she remembers Ethan loves Theresa more than he loves her! Beccs winds up for her big moment, building it up as her daughter tries to send her messages with her eyes. She rants about Ethan getting so close to this "little, conniving Ugly Betty," but before she can say her final bit, Gwen punches her out! "That'll shut her up," Gwen shrugs to herself, while Gert-resa thinks of all the times she's wanted to do that. Ethan asks for an explanation as he leans over Beccs. He can't wake her, but she does grab him, call him Pablo and plant a good kiss on him. Gwen then shrugs that she hit her mom because she was drunk and acting up. Gert-resa asks what kind of example Gwen's violence would set if the kids saw her. Gwen counters that her mom wasn't talking sense, but her eyes tell Gert-resa something else. "Your mother's drunk all the time. Her blood is like 70 proof," Ethan gawks in disbelief, so she explains that she picked it up from her dad, who used to knock Beccs out with a rubber mallet when she got drunk. Gert-resa and Ethan again ask Gwen why all the questions about Theresa and Gert-resa. Gwen is thrilled to realize Gert-resa is staying quiet for fear of Juanita, which means she can torture the "nanny" endlessly. Ethan again pushes for why they were talking Theresa, so she explains that she knows Ethan wouldn't marry her if Theresa were alive and Beccs was upset that Gwen still feels second place to Theresa. Ethan professes his love, hugs her and tells her not to think about Theresa. "Theresa's a distant memory, and she's fading more and more," he coos. After he talks about how he's loved Gwen since boarding school, he swears she'll "never never know Theresa existed." A quiet Gert-resa is horrified by it all.

When Beccs comes to, Gwen asks Ethan to go upstairs and do some wedding prep while she and her mom have a moment. Gert-resa follows, leaving Gwen to explain why they have to be quiet about Gert-resa's identity. "The advantage is on our court and we need to keep it that way," she says, noting Ethan would have been thrilled to hear Theresa's alive. They can't wait to torture Gert-resa, but Beccs warns her daughter that Gert-resa can't be part of the wedding planning this time. That sends Gwen running upstairs, while Beccs sets out for a drink and runs into Jua-melia - literally. When Jua-melia asks if she's okay, Beccs opens up, asking, "Have you ever hated someone so much you wanted to kill 'em?" Jua-melia certainly understands! Beccs enjoys talking to someone who knows what it is to hate - not like these wishy washy kids today - but she's a bit confused when her new friend promises, "There will be death in Harmony."

Upstairs, Ethan takes out Gwen's To Do list for the ceremony and says he wants the day to go perfectly, because Gwen needs to know they're a couple. Gert-resa smiles that he "did say" he loves Theresa. Ethan nods, shrugging he'll have to keep those feelings locked up. Then he calls to get airplane traffic rerouted around Harmony during the ceremony, to avoid jet noise interference. Gert-resa sighs to herself that there's no way to stop the ceremony, which means she'll have to watch Ethan marry a woman she hates and then leave him forever with her family. Teary Gert-resa takes a breath and turns back, ready to take it all with a stiff upper lip, "because there is no other way out." When Gwen comes up, she takes the To Do list from Gertie and tells her to stay away from anything to do with the wedding. Both Ethan and Gert-resa think that's odd, but Gwen shrugs, "Just call me a control freak." Gert-resa's suspicions are rekindled, but she still isn't sure what's up. When Gwen gets everything finished, Ethan and Gertie again note they could have helped, but she simply shrugs, "If you want something done right, do it yourself."

Tuesday
July 1, 2008
Don't Dilly-Dally Dolly

Locals begin showing up for the big Luis/Fancy, Miguel/Kay, Paloma/Noah and Gwen/Ethan wedding rehearsal at the church, which has a fantastic view of the harbor, incidentally. The caterers, Vincent and Viki, are disgusted by all the happiness. Dressed as a mature woman in a grey wig, Vincent puts on a faux accent and stirs their deadly mushroom sauce. When Esme shows up, Viki introduces Vincent as "Dolly" the caterer. Esme raves the food will surely be memorable, but after she leaves, Vincent chuckles, "Only those left in Harmony will remember this dinner, because the rest will be dead." That includes his parents and anyone who might take Esme from Viki.

Inside the church, Fancy gushes to Luis about the big day, which gives way to kissing. Sam and Ivy leave them to canoodle, but Sheridan shows up and watches dejectedly. "Look at them," she sighs to herself, comparing the couples' evident joy to her and Luis' not-so-real wedding in Mexico. She quietly wishes them luck, before admitting she can't give up Luis. When Ivy joins Sheridan, she asks, "Where did I go wrong?" But she stops Sher from answering, sighing that she has one child dead and one in the mental hospital. Sheridan reminds her she still has Fancy and Ethan, insisting Pretty's downfall was Alistair's doing, but also Pretty's fault for reveling in hatred instead of asking for help. Ivy reveals she's ordered flowers to be delivered anonymously everyday. When Fancy waves her over, she almost manages a smile. "At least one of my daughters is happy," she says as she goes to join her and Luis. Sheridan wonders if she's any better than Pretty, noting, "It's hard not to get bitter when thwarted love is involved." When Ivy returns, she sighs that she hopes Pretty gets the help she needs. She empathizes with what a scene the breakdown must have been for Sheridan. Sheridan admits it was, especially as it made her think of the stories about Great Grandmother. "She was mad as a hatter," Ivy sighs. When Sheridan responds all Crane women fear the insanity gene, Ivy says she kept the stories away from her daughters. Sheridan wonders if that was the best idea and Ivy can't argue that it was. She does however note, "The Crane women went crazy when someone they loved was taken from them. I'm certainly glad you didn't go mad when you lost Luis."

After Beccs meets Gwen, Ethan and Gertie near the altar, Ethan heads off to drop the garment bags in the changing rooms and Gwen sends Gert-resa on "a very special errand". When her mom asks what she has in store for Gert-resa, Gwen smiles, "She is all taken care of."

Paloma is thrilled to be just a day from marrying Noah, but her mother is too distracted by her fears over Juanita. Paloma begs Pilar to enjoy the special day. Pilar just wants the weddings over and done with, so they can hit the road and be safe. Paloma warns she can't protect them forever, but Pilar is intent on staying alert. When she joins Luis and Fancy, she overhears Ivy as she "entrusts" Luis to take care of "one of my greatest treasures". The two old friends embrace over the twist of fate that has their children tying the knot and Ivy hopes their status as in-laws will help rekindle their friendship. Pilar is "open to that possibility," but not till after the trip. Sam and Ivy are very curious, maybe even suspicious, about how the whole family managed to schedule their vacations together on such short notice. Pilar shrugs that she can't wait to be with the family.

After Gert-resa gives her baby sis a pep talk and a hug over her big day, Paloma empathizes with how hard it must be for Gertie to watch Ethan and Gwen. Gert-resa shrugs that she's over it, so Paloma laughs that she's lying. When Gwen walks up to find them in an emotional embrace, she marvels pointedly at their surprising closeness. Then she asks Gert-resa to go get a gift for Ethan that's in the basement. Gert-resa heads straight down and spots the box for Ethan, but then she hears the door shut. When she goes to open it, it's locked. She knocks and calls for help. No one answers and in her desperate search for keys, she accidentally knocks over a stack of boxes. She goes back to knocking on the door, not knowing the boxes have opened the gas line! Soon, she starts coughing and realizes something's wrong. She calls for help as she drops to her knees. Back upstairs, Ethan wonders where Gert-resa is and Gwen tells him she's taking care of something. He hopes she gets back soon, but Gwen is smiling at the thought that she won't.

Julian and Eve are excited for the big day too, but Eve has some news for him and it's weighing on her. Julian has high hopes about what "the best penis man in town" had to say, but before Eve can tell him anything, Esme joins them. She picks up on the tone, so Julian catches her up on his seeing the specialist. Esme gets sidetracked by thinking Julian means a gay man and then suggesting the penis doc is still likely gay, before asking what the doc said about fixing (and re-enlarging!) Julian's penis. He looks horrified as she empathizes over his "great American tragedy". She hopes they find the culprit... Viki overhears and smiles that she'll do anything to anyone who tries to take Esme from her. Esme, however, is not smiling when Julian asks her to leave him to talk with Eve alone. She stutters her assumption that the couple has reunited and fights tears as she cries, "Am I being abandoned again?!" Julian tries to explain, but she gives him the hand and sighs, "The end of a dream... but it was a lovely dream, wasn't it? The sex goddess and the billionaire." She notes how Ginger always loved the professor on Gilligan's Island and then asks Eve to take care of Julian. Eve says Esme's misunderstood, but Julian says the "episode" with his penis has changed his priorities. Esme fights tears as she waxes on about being an independent woman and her new career in catering. As she leaves, she notes the new career may even land her another moneyman. She walks straight in to Viki and "Dolly" and starts barking orders, insisting she's the boss. "Don't dilly dally Dolly," she says, sending the kids to get the rest of the food from the truck. Intent on getting started on her new career, she leans in to try the mushroom sauce.

Left alone, Eve asks Julian what he meant about those new priorities. "All I care about now is love and the woman I love. And the woman I love has always been you," he says. She's surprised he wants to "rehash" their relationship at this moment and Julian reverts to asking about the doctor. "There's nothing he can do. The penis can't be turned around," she apologizes. He doesn't blame her, knowing it was Vincent who got her hopped up on pills and then orchestrated the surgical disaster. They fall into a sad embrace, but then Julian jumps back, remembering an erection will kill him. Muttering about dead kittens, nuns and such un-sexual nonsense, he goes on a desperate hunt for ice, just happening to pass Esme. She's intrigued by Julian's odd behavior, but goes back to taking a taste of the sauce. As it gets to her lips, Viki intercepts it. Esme, intent on learning the ropes to being the caterer to the stars, demands to know why she can't taste the sauce. Viki and "Dolly" tell her it's not at the right temperature to be tasted, so she leaves. When Viki frets that they almost killed Aunt Esme, Vincent doesn't respond out loud, but it's clear he wouldn't mind her going down with everyone else. Then Viki asks how she can count on the poison sauce working, so Vincent suggests she try it out on a cat. Viki is horrified that he'd suggest something so repugnant, so Vincent pours some into a Gerber plant and it quickly keels over. With Vincent's prodding, she admits, "You are an evil genius."

Unbeknownst to them, a suspicious Sheridan is watching, trying to figure out what is so odd about that old woman. She figures it out when she hears Viki worry that if everyone doesn't eat the sauce at once, those served first will "start dying and we won't get everyone." Vincent says the filet sauce will be served at the last minute and that no one will start eating until the brides and grooms do. Viki is satisfied, giddy over how much more satisfying mass murder will be than her other murders. Sheridan gasps over what she's stumbled upon and spies Sam. She's about to run to tell him, but then it occurs to her that if the Vicious Vs go through with their plan, Fancy will die too!

A nervous Pilar starts to come undone, so Paloma asks her to cheer up, reminding her that three of her kids are getting hitched. Luis is trying to cheer her up too when Fancy arrives with news that Father Lonigan won't make the rehearsal. Sam steps in and offers his services, promising he already knows the plan. Then he wonders after Julian, who should walk Fancy down the aisle. He's still off searching for ice. When Eve finds him, he won't let her near, for fear he'll get a killer erection. He can't even look at her face without getting excited, so he holds a cup of ice to his groin. Relieved that it works, he desperately asks if there's any chance another doctor could help him. She says they can look, but may have to wait for science to catch up to his predicament. He can't imagine there's a ton of research on correcting his ailment. When Ivy finds them, she's stunned by the ice on his groin, but when he barks at her, she responds that he's needed for the rehearsal. He says he'll follow and sends her off. Eve again apologizes for the bad news. He's ready to accept it, but asks if she can be with a man who cannot make love to her. "Maybe you can't make love to me physically anymore, but intellectually and emotionally, I feel that we're constantly making love. Just the thought of you is electric," she coos. They kiss, until Julian is forced to stave off his fatal erection with a cup of ice down his pants.

When Eve and Julian join the party, they ask Sam for any word of Vincent. The chief wonders if perhaps they have heard from their son and then notes that "with his talent for disguises and the fact that he can appear as either sex, he can be anywhere." After that uplifting chat, everyone sits down except for Luis, Julian and Fancy, who take their places. Luis smiles down the aisle and Paloma and Pilar are touched by the love in his eyes. Pilar also notes that, sitting with Gwen, there is no love in Ethan's eyes. She wishes her daughter could be with him. Throughout Luis and Fancy's run-through, Sheridan battles over whether to turn the V's in and make sure no one eats the poisoned sauce or just make sure only Fancy eats it. "I'd have Luis all to myself and Marty needs his father," she says, calmly deciding to stay quiet.

After the first rehearsal is done, Sam says it reminds him of when he and Ivy were "young and that in love". She counters that she's still that much in love. Julian is touched by the scene, while Eve is touched to see how Julian has changed. "Happiness seems to be very popular in Harmony today," Eve smiles. "For some," Julian sighs, but Eve suggests he may find his happy today too. Ethan wonders after Gert-resa, so Gwen sends him to get her bag, reminding him their rehearsal is next. Beccs is impressed with her daughter for getting rid of Theresa - who has just collapsed in the basement!

Vincent and Viki are walking protectively with their perfected sauce, when Esme spots them and asks for that taste. Vincent distracts her by announcing that the bar is open, which sends her running. Vincent spies his parents' body language and tells Viki he can't wait for dinner. "Death will reign supreme in Harmony," he smiles, but Viki just shrugs that she hopes there isn't a lot of "icky" vomiting.

Back at Tabby's, Jua-melia and Hench are getting the bomb ready. He worries Tabby might catch them, but she shrugs that the house will be hers soon enough and with Tabby out doing errands, they have it to themselves for now. When Hench opens the case, she exhales and has one of her usual rants about blowing the Lopez-Fitzgerald's to smithereens. The impatient wacko hurries him, so he warns, "These things can't be rushed. This is how accidents happen." She rolls her eyes in response, spewing, "Don't teach a grandmother how to suck eggs. I know how to build a bomb as well as you do." Then she pushes him aside and brags as she finishes it off herself... but it turns out she's armed it! "Say your prayers," Henchy gasps and when she won't let him run, he drops to his knees. To his relief, Juam-melia disarms the bomb. Then she demands he finish it for the wedding. He finishes it off, adding both a timer mechanism and a remote activation system, in case she can't wait. She can taste her revenge and wants the bomb ready to blow. He worries they should hold off for the final touches until the last minute, for safety reasons, but she counters he be "more concerned with keeping me happy." He activates the alarm, but not the countdown, which means Juanita can set it off with the remote at any moment.

Wednesday
July 2, 2008
What a way to go!

Tabby is still trying to convince Endora to pop out of hiding when her caldron starts bubbling. When a salty splash shoots out of it, she forecasts, "The prophecy is coming true. Disaster is almost upon us. Oh, the sea's going to reclaim everything that was taken from it, including Harmony!" More freaked out than ever, Tabby calls out that she and Endora must run for their lives. Endora pops a bubble message that she has a plan: They should just zap everyone from Harmony to Precious' house when they go there! Tabby notes her daughter's sweetness, but warns the coming evil will hunt down Harmony locals, wherever they go.

Julian worries he and Eve should have stayed at the rehearsal dinner instead of skipping back to the manse, but is quickly distracted by the romantic dinner set up in the living room. Affected by his earlier profession of love, Eve has set up a surprise for him! He grumbles there's no point, since the doc can't repair his penis, which means he can't survive getting an erection. Suddenly, he turns and asks, "Were you trying to kill me?" She denies the notion, but again apologizes for the penis thing. He gives in, again admitting it was Vincent's doing, not hers. She talks of wanting a little romance as she fumbles for a syringe from her purse. He turns from her, fearing romance will kill him. "Romance will not kill you, Julian. I will make sure of that," she says, injecting him with some mystery meds. As he gasps in panic, she coos, "If anything's going to kill Julian, it's going to be me." He starts to catch his breath once she explains the surprise injection will keep him from getting an erection. When she references their earlier chat, he grumbles that he just doesn't understand how she plans to "make love to [him] emotionally and intellectually". In answer, she turns on some slow jazz and drags him to dance. Julian worries he'll get excited being so close to her, but she promises the shot will protect him. She begs him to "give into this" and talks about "moving to the rhythm with our bodies". She asks him what his most powerful desire is. All he wants is to hold her in his arms forever.

When they sit down to eat, she wonders what happened to them and wishes she'd been stronger when they were young. He counters that he was weak, so she reminds him she was the one who gave into drugs and alcohol. He sighs that he gave into his father and then waxes poetic about love being wasted on the youth as he rehashes how he folded to his father's will and money. "I should have trusted in our love," he sighs and after all those years wasted apart, they both know now that the love they shared would have sustained them. They argue apologetically over blame, going through the "what ifs" for a while, until Eve suggests they look to their future together. She wonders if they have what it takes. "Can you promise me that if you're in pain, you won't seek someone else's arms?" she challenges. "And can I promise you that I'll have the strength to find strength in you, rather than a bottle or a pill." He assures her, "In times of trouble, I will turn to you," but she fears, "We're the masters of self sabotage." Julian thinks this is their chance, even joking that it's rather convenient that turning to another woman might actually kill him. She in turn promises to trust in their love. It sounds very much like an exchange of vows. They wonder what other things Alistair has done to keep them apart, which leads Eve to hope Vincent isn't hurting anyone. Then Julian asks to read her a poem, but she wants to hear from his heart. This time, he actually calls his promises a "vow". She accepts his offer. She caresses his face, noting how time, loss and strength has affected the boy she loved. He thanks her for the strength and then they kiss. Of course, no injection can keep down Little J! Fighting his growing problem, Julian grabs the ice and dumps it in his lap. "This intellectual lovemaking is hotter than I thought," he sighs.

Back at the rehearsal dinner, Vincent gets caught up in his Dotty costume and loftily hopes his poison mushroom sauce is "both deadly and delicious." Viki tells him to focus and goes to check the church. Vincent smells the sauce and anticipates serving it to his parents, but then Viki comes in and tells him they've left. He throws a tantrum and accidentally knocks over the sauce. Gwen and Ethan come in and offer their help, but Viki just appeases them and sends them on their way. They scoop what they can back into the pot, but it's no use. Viki demands to know what they're going to do now. Vincent says they'll have to start from scratch and get new mushrooms from the pier. In the rush out, they unknowingly leave the poisonous saucepan out.

When they get to the wharf, they see the wood pile is gone. Vincent is at a loss. At that same moment, Tabby notices the sands have stopped running through the Hourglass of Destruction. She wonders if the coming disaster has been swayed. Ah, but then Vincent spots the woodpile and they start picking mushrooms. More calm now, he realizes if mom and dad don't return for the deadly dinner, he can bring them leftovers. Needless to say, the Sands of Doom at Tabby's start running again as the V's get back to cooking.

Sam prepares to run his second rehearsal, this one for Paloma and Noah. As the couple enjoys joking with dad, Pilar watches on with her old pal Ivy. Pilar sighs that she had a love like that once, or so she'd thought. Ivy insists she did find it, but was just unlucky that it didn't last. Spying Gwen and Beccs, Pilar hopes Theresa will have better luck than she did. After the couple is done, Pilar asks Paloma if she's seen Gert-resa. After she tells her mom Gwen sent her on an errand, Noah asks why they need a nanny, anyway. Paloma and Pilar shrug that Gertie is helpful and a friend. Then, with a look to Beccs, Ethan and Gwen, Pilar suggests they go downstairs to look for her.

With Ethan and Gwen's rehearsal up next, Beccs happily notices Theresa is nowhere to be found. Having locked "the nanny" downstairs, Gwen grins, "There is no way I'm going to let Theresa stop my recommitment ceremony." Before they go up for their run-through, Ethan suggests they make tomorrow their official anniversary, to mark their new beginning. Gwen loves the idea. Believing she's beaten Theresa forever, she is over the moon when Ethan calls her for their turn at the altar.

Downstairs, Gert-resa is half-unconscious from a gas leak. She opens her eyes to see a rat has died next to her. She fights to get up, weakly calling for Ethan, but can't get anywhere. Luckily, her mother hears her! Of course, they can't get the door open and Noah soon smells the gas. He breaks the door open, but Gert-resa is not breathing. Paloma turns off the gas and turns on the fan, while Noah starts mouth to mouth. He stops cold when Pilar screams, "Save my daughter!" Once he gets Gert-resa breathing, he says he gets what's going on.

Following a fast paced Jua-melia, Henchy offers to carry the heavy, delicate bomb, which is encased in a silver suitcase. "I like to keep death close. It gives me comfort," Jua-melia shrugs. Henchy rolls his eyes, but lets her prattle on about blowing up the Lopez-Fitzgeralds. Her mood changes after they find the church basement door locked and fail at picking it, but they find another way in. As they come in, they almost hear heroic Noah say, "Theresa is alive!" It's clear they've missed the big reveal even as Pilar backpedals, telling Noah calling the nanny "daughter" was just a slip. While Noah throws out the dead rat, Gert-resa says Gwen locked her in. She thanks Noah for saving her life and they head back upstairs, where Gert-resa sees Ethan kissing his soon to be (again) bride. She wonders how things have gotten there and her mother answers, "It's Juanita. It's always Juanita."

With all the run-throughs done, Gwen and Beccs don't mind seeing Gert-resa has escaped, though Gwen figures she may have to kill her to keep her away from the actual ceremony. Vincent and Viki are thrilled as they watch everyone gather for dinner. Beccs gets called away for a ride on Pablo, but Vincent serves the sauce to Ivy and Sam. When Sam notes steak is bad for you, Ivy sighs, "But what a way to go."

Tabby warns her daughter that if she stays invisible too long, she might stay that way. Then the caldron starts bubbling red and green. It takes a minute, but Tabby realizes it means there are two different evils in town. The idea raises more questions than answers for her. With the bomb in place and the new batch of poison being served up, it may be a matter of who gets there first, but Tabby is just struggling to figure out the basics.

Feel free to leave comments about today's show update on our message boards! If you're not yet a member, remember that it's free to join and will allow you to post your comments and join in any chatter with others in our community!

All photographs are courtesy of Soapoperafan.com

AdChoices