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2nd Week of May 2008 Daily Summaries

 

All Summaries Written and Copyrighted by SheKnowsLLC
(unless otherwise indicated)

Please LINK to summaries. Do not cut-n-paste them to other sites. Thanks!
  

Monday
May 12, 2008
Have your Baby like a Man!

Eve insists she must deliver Vincent's baby at the hospital, but both Julian and Vincent balk at the idea of anyone finding out Vincent is alive, let alone having his father's baby. When Eve tells Julian the baby won't fit through Vincent's "lady parts", he offers her a massive kitchen knife and suggests a c-section, with booze as the anesthetic. Eve warns the baby and Vincent could die if they don't get to a hospital. Julian doesn't seem to mind the sound of that, but Vincent just promises he and his baby will survive. Confident his mom will persevere in spite of everything, he orders her to perform and his father to catch it on video for his blog. "Even in labor, my son is one scary son of a..." Julian thinks to himself. Then Vincent cries out that the baby is stuck, which just proves Eve's earlier concerns. "You're male genitalia's in the way!" she cries, so Julian, at his wits ends, again offers her the knife and says, "Here, whack it off like you did mine!" After another warning that the pair may not survive delivery, Eve cheers that she sees the baby's head. Julian doesn't seem to know how he feels about either announcement, but moves around to see the action. "It's such a mess down there," he mutters at all the extra parts between Vincent's legs and after Eve and Vincent go another round of "the baby's too big for the opening," Julian runs to the sink fearing he'll throw up. "Childbirth is a perfectly natural thing," Eve deadpans, but Julian counters this one is different.

Then Vincent passes out. Julian refuses to give him mouth to mouth, suggesting they pull the baby out with salad prongs or use that kitchen knife. Eve cries that this was just what she feared would happen, so Julian screams for Vincent to wake up and shakes his head around. "Have your baby like a man!" Julian demands and Vincent gasps for air and wakes up. Eve says she needs one more push, so Vincent takes Julian's hand and gets that baby out! After Vincent asks for the baby's sex, Julian pleads, "Oh please, God, let it be one or the other!" Eve is thrilled to announce it's a boy and Vincent is soon feeling well enough to get back to tormenting his father. Eve happily reminds Julian their son has given them a grandson, before letting Vincent holds the baby. "I'm your daddy. And your mommy," he coos, promising he'll never abandon him like his parents did. Julian grabs a fresh bottle of booze, takes a swig and passes it to Eve. He is awed by the strange birth, but Eve just wants to be happy and again promises, "Vincent's baby is all boy.'

Before checking the news to see if Fancy and Luis' plane crash has made the airwaves, Pretty takes a moment to consider what she'll wear to Fancy's funeral. She feels somewhat remorseful about "having" to kill Luis and the pilot, but shrugs, "What choice did I have?" The crash hasn't made the news yet and Pretty realizes she should warn Sheridan before it does, so Sheridan can protect Marty from hearing it. "Finding out Daddy's dead out of the blue really could make him snap," she figures. Of course, the plane has not yet gone down. With the pilot unconscious on the couch, Luis heads to the cockpit to call air traffic control for help, but the plane lurches before he can get anywhere, throwing him and Fancy to one side. He promises they'll survive this, just like they survived the mineshaft, but Fancy is sure they're done for. He counters by proclaiming they will grow old together and "die in each other's arms after making love for like the millionth time." After his pep talk, they bump their way to the cockpit and Luis puts on the pilot's headset. No one responds to his calls and he's at a loss as to what to do next. The couple quickly starts bickering as they buckle into the pilots' chairs, but just as quickly, they catch themselves and apologize. Then Luis suddenly remembers Sheridan knows how to fly, so Fancy calls her on the cell phone. Sheridan is annoyed to hear from her, but then Fancy puts Luis on the phone and he catches her up. Sheridan immediately talks him through lifting the plane's nose and slowing it down. With the alarms quiet and the plane under control for the moment, Sheridan promises, "I will help you land this jet safely."

Pretty is not happy to arrive for that statement and demands Sheridan hang up the phone. "Who do you think got them in this predicament in the first place?" she asks, to which Sheridan gasps, "You really have lost your mind!" The girls fight over the phone, while Luis worries they're running out of time. Fancy screams that they'll die if she doesn't help, but by then the phone is lying on the floor. Sheridan can't believe Pretty wants to kill her baby daddy, but Pretty shrugs, "Luis isn't that great with Marty and besides, as soon as he has kids with Fancy, my child will never see him again." Unconvinced, Sheridan goes for the phone again, but Pretty jumps on her. She explains she'd come over to tell Sheridan about her plan, but Sheridan insists the plan sucks and she won't kill her niece. Then she punches Pretty out! Unfortunately, when she picks up the phone, Luis doesn't respond. "I'm so sorry Luis," she sighs as she puts the phone down. She kicks angrily at Pretty, but then Luis calls her name out. She puts the phone back to her ear and cries that he's got to make it home to Marty. After Luis agrees he has many people to survive for, including Pretty's baby and Fancy, Sheridan gives him landing directions. "Here goes nothing," he says, and lands the plane. Luis and Fancy are overjoyed and thankful, but realize they have to get the pilot to the hospital. Before letting him hang up, Sheridan professes her love for both him and Fancy and her relief at their survival. After Fancy thanks her and hangs up, Luis admits he'd been afraid they wouldn't make it. Pretty wakes to hear Sheridan patting herself on the back. "You stupid bitch, you ruined everything!" she growls and punches her aunt out.

Gert-resa tries her best to hide her teeth and mouth awkwardly behind a water glass and a bottle, while Gwen holds up her false teeth up in disgust. "Who the hell are you, and what do you want?" Gwen demands, but Ethan tells her she's being too hard. Gwen suggests the nanny is planning to kidnap the kids or rob the mansion, which Gert-resa of course denies. She explains they're not a disguise, but meant to hide her real teeth, which are really horrible. Ethan is horrified at the idea that her look is an improvement on anything. She says her teeth were so bad folks thought she was British, so she invested in falsies, but she couldn't get perfect teeth, "Because it would make the rest of me look worse." Ethan immediately empathizes, noting he works out like a fiend and Gwen's had a few... Gwen doesn't let him finish that sentence, so he switches gears, saying, "Rebecca is testament to cosmetic surgery." He cools the situation down, though Gwen is quite bitchy when she gives Gert-resa her teeth. Gert-resa sticks them back in, apologizes and offers to clean up. Gwen says the maid will deal with it and sends Gert-resa off so that she and Ethan can get busy in the guest room. She gets Ethan's shirt off and moans that it's been hours since their last round, to which Ethan sighs, "You know, I'm not a robot." Gwen keeps working him up, until there's a knock on the door.

It's Gert-resa, of course. She was crushed that Juanita's escape ruined her romantic reunion with Ethan, but immediately came up with a new plan. To Gwen's annoyance, she presents them with after dinner drinks (with a healthy dose of white powder!), but Gwen accepts it and when Theresa returns later in a sexy negligee, Ethan and Gwen are both passed out. She wakes Ethan, who can barely stand and thinks he's dreaming. She gets him out the door and to another romantic bedroom. His eyes look closed, but he moans that she's beautiful. They kiss and she undressed him, pushing him back into their old bed. "I've missed you so much," he moans. "We're going to make up for it, right now," she promises. She hasn't felt alive until now, in his arms, but knows she has to let Ethan think it's a dream. As they make love, Theresa moans of his name so loud it rouses Gwen. Gwen struggles to shake off the drugs as she searches for the source of the moans and wonders why the voice sounds so familiar. She stumbles into the door and sees Ethan making love to someone. "Theresa?" she gasps in confusion.

Tuesday
May 13, 2008
Cootchie, Cootchie Coo!

Eve is touched and tickled as she watches Vincent's first moments with his/her son, but Julian is quick to remind her that their son is both mother and father to the baby, with Julian being father. When Eve asks to hold the baby, Vincent says no, explaining his baby needs a fresh start, free of pill popping fiends like her. "Will you swear to be a better grandmother to my son than you were to me?" he asks. She reminds him that she and Julian never even knew he was alive, thanks to Alistair, but still agrees to try to make it up to him. She says she love him and the baby, "And I'll help you do everything I can to be the best mother you can be." After he confirms her hands aren't shaking, Vincent puts Eve's grandson in her arms. She takes the baby to Julian, who refuses to take his son/grandson. Vincent asks if he has a problem with their baby, so he clears his throat and feigns he's coming down with something. Eve hands the baby back to Vincent and while pretending to check the "ailing" Julian, reprimands him, but Julian insists, "I'm not touching that freak show baby!" Eve counters the strangeness of the situation should not change the fact that this is his grandson, comparing Julian's rejection to that of Alistair. She reminds him that the child is not responsible for the circumstances of his birth. Julian then admits he fears the baby's inherited Vincent's craziness, but Eve assures him Vincent's problems are nurture, not nature. "Isn't it obvious that it's due to Alistair's cruel treatment of him as a child? He's been emotionally and mentally tortured," she sighs, but Julian isn't budging. When Vincent asks for Julian's support, however Eve demands he behave appropriately, even if he has to lie.

Julian slowly walks to Vincent and awkwardly takes their child in his arms. "Cootchie Cootchie Coo," he says and quickly softens to his son/grandson. He wants to give the child all the Crane privileges and says they must register the birth. Vincent and Eve balk at that, reminding them Vincent is supposed to be dead and if the law finds out he's not, he'll end up in prison. Julian considers Vincent's going to jail a given and counters that parents must sacrifice for their children. Vincent holds his son and cries, but Julian is sure they'll take Vincent's mental state into account and goes to call Sam. Eve stops him by asking if he plans to tell Sam the whole truth, noting, "You impregnated your own son. Now your penis is disfigured. I think the media would have a field day with that." She even threatens to provide the media with some post surgery photos, so Julian hangs up. A thankful Vincent runs to him, embraces him and even apologizes for maiming Little Julian. Eve is so happy she too embraces him, but Julian worries over what their little psychopath will do next. Eve is confident motherhood and their assistance are already turning Vincent into a good person. In fact, after Julian's show of support just now, she's confident, "Vincent will never do anything evil again." Julian looks less convinced and Vincent's quite chatter to his baby proves Julian right. Vincent does promise his son he won't kill Eve and Julian, but remains committed to revenge. "I have all these talents and it would be a shame to let them all go to waste," he explains. Then he shows his son Sheridan's picture and says, "Aunt Sheridan has to die."

Noah's still trying to calm Paloma over having seen Theresa's death in the glass shards. "Someone sent me a vision of that viscous Juanita stabbing my sister to death," she cries. Noah reminds her Theresa is dead, but Paloma still believes it's some sort of sign. He suggests it's her imagination, referencing the recent stress of Theresa's death and their own love problems. "Not to mention all those strange things that have happened in this house," she adds and seems to be considering Noah's theory. They embrace, as Tabitha shakes her head at obtuse Noah, since the sign was of course real. Noah suggests Paloma is making a mountain out of a molehill and she finally gives up, saying, "It must have been my imagination." He holds her and says, "We should find some way to alleviate your stress." They start kissing, which disgusts a watching Tabby. "If it were Paloma and Roberto," she chuckles, "that I could watch!" It reminds her of her hot nights with Zorro back in the day. "Good times," she smiles before getting up to pour herself a martimi. When she stands, the Book of Disasters starts sparking, smoking and spinning. "Maybe I should just grab Endora and hit the road," she thinks, but she's too curious about the next victim to do that. The sparks start flying straight up in the air and right into Noah and Paloma's love session in Kay's room! When the sparks shoot through the bed, throwing them apart, Paloma panics. Noah jumps through the sparks to hold herm so the sparks tighten into a ball. When the couple runs out of the room, it tries to follow, but hits the door. The duo runs down to the living room to ask Tabby what's going on and recognizes the sparks coming out of the book. Noah demands an explanation for the fireworks, so Tabby asks if he's drunk. The book stops sparking, but the couple still wants answers. Tabitha doesn't seem concerned until he says he made tea from her blue container in the kitchen. She puts her hand to her head and chuckles about the good times she's had on that tea. "I too was young once, and believe me I lived. I bought that tea during a marvelous psychedelic summer in San Francisco," she explains. She reminisces about the liberation of the 60s, Flower Power and fighting against the man, not to mention dancing naked in the moonlight. Noah doesn't get it, so she finally reveals the psychedelic tea was made by Timothy Leary himself. The kids lecture Tabby about being more careful and she laughs, "I should have learned that summer your mother took the brownies out of my freezer!" Then she promises to get rid of the tea, so the couple heads back upstairs. Tabby is impressed with her lies, but worried about Noah's fate.

As Theresa and Ethan make love, Ethan moans that it must be a dream or she must be a ghost. Theresa lets him believe it's a dream, while drugged Gwen wobbles in the doorway and struggles to understand what she's seeing. At first, she too thinks it's a dream, but then she thinks it must be a living Theresa here making love to her husband. She gasps, catching Theresa's attention, but then decides it's a vision and "my conscience punishing me." Theresa stares her in the eye and figures Gwen is too drugged out for her to worry about and eventually, a confused Gwen leaves. "What is wrong with me?" she asks herself and stumbles off. Theresa tells herself to live in the moment and forget about everything else but her and her true love. Afterwards, with Ethan passed out again, Theresa talks to him about the cruelty of fate and insists the risk tonight was worth it, even if he won't remember it. She falls asleep and when she opens her eyes, Ethan is staring at her. "Theresa, you're here. And alive," he whispers, amazed she's come back from the dead. He nods off, muttering that it can't be real. She tells him it's just a dream and that she wishes she were with him. She kisses him and they start making love again.

Pilar checks with Agent Anderson for news on Juanita. He has nothing new to report, but the call tells eavesdropping Juanita that he's the key to finding Pilar. She and her goon follow and when Anderson hears a noise behind him, he turns the gun on them! He tells Juanita she's going back to jail, but then his phone rings, startling him and giving Juanita a chance to escape. It's Pilar calling again, on worry overload now that Theresa is in fact alive. She flashes back to her argument with Theresa about her plan to drug Ethan and Gwen so she can have tonight with her true love. "Gwen may be evil, but she's not stupid," she mutters, just as Gwen stumbles into the room and slurs, "Pilar, Theresa is alive." Gwen tries to convince Pilar and points her to the love session going on upstairs, but Pilar counters, "Theresa is dead and it's all your fault." Gwen actually looks guilty, but then says she never put Theresa on that plane to Mexico and that it doesn't matter anyway, since Theresa isn't dead. Pilar tries telling her she's drunk and senseless, so Gwen wants to drag her upstairs to show her. Pilar insists her vision is a sign of her guilty conscience, but Gwen suddenly realizes Pilar wasn't surprised by her statement about seeing Theresa and thus she must be in on it. She sets upstairs to get Theresa, but it isn't hard for Pilar to stop her. When Gwen admits she's not herself, Pilar demands she stop, which just makes Gwen more suspicious and insistent that Theresa is alive "for now, but not for long." She pushes Pilar aside and falls up the stairs. 

With the agent on their tails, Juanita steps aside, but pushes her lackey back into Anderson's path! Her goon runs and the agent follows, leaving her free to follow the agent. Eventually, Juanita has the agent at gunpoint. "Will you take me to Pilar, or will you die?" she asks.
 

Wednesday
May 14, 2008
Number two maybe.

Between kisses, Ethan moans and professes his love to Theresa, while Theresa silently apologizes for drugging him to get near him. Outside the room, Pilar tries to stop Gwen from entering, but in spite of the drugs, Gwen's convinced her visions of Theresa making love to Ethan are real and that Pilar is involved. At a loss, Pilar shoves her away from the door. Gwen fights to catch her balance, while Pilar wishes Theresa had given her more drugs. Gwen finally pushes her aside and storms in. "Theresa!" she gasps... but no one is in the room. "You see," Pilar says and immediately turns it on Gwen, calling her cruel for putting grieving Pilar through this. Gwen insists they were just making love in the bed, so Pilar asks, "I knew that Ethan felt Theresa was still alive in his heart, but does he make it a habit to make love to ghosts?" Gwen isn't convinced, so Pilar suggests she's on drugs. Then she realizes her daughter is hiding under the bed! It seems while Pilar and Gwen were fighting, Theresa sent Ethan off, made the bed and blew out all the candles.

Gwen searches the room until Ethan walks in wearing a towel. He asks why she woke him up, but Gwen immediately rails on him for making love to Theresa. He thinks she's being ridiculous, so she snidely insists, "This was only minutes ago. I'm sure you can remember back that far." He flashes back to blurry memories of his recent romp with Theresa and his face says it all, further convincing Gwen she's right. Ethan wonders if he said Theresa's name in his sleep, but Gwen again insists he was actually making love to a very living Theresa. He apologizes for dreaming about Theresa, but insists he can't control that. Pilar steps in again, but Gwen loses her patience, ordering her to accept that she's not drunk, drugged or guilty over Theresa's death. Ethan doesn't miss a beat before asking why she would be guilty! Gwen stutters, desperate to hide her connection to Juanita, so Pilar offers to explain Gwen's troubling behavior of late. Theresa doesn't want her mom talking and neither does Gwen, who threatens to call Juanita. Gwen instead explains that Theresa's death gave her everything she wants, "So it feels so weird to me that I owe all of my happiness to Theresa." Ethan empathizes and comforts her with a hug. He tells her she has nothing to worry about, to which Theresa thinks, "The hell she doesn't!"

When the couple leaves, Pilar rails against her daughter for taking such a risk. Empowered by the love session, Theresa insists she will no longer play dead! Pilar reminds her of the danger they're in, but Theresa knows Ethan will keep their secret and runs to tell him everything. Pilar chases after her, stopping her just outside his room. Theresa cries that it should be her in his room, not Gwen; while inside, Ethan reminds Gwen they'll be together forever. Eavesdropping Theresa can barely take it, so an understanding Pilar tells her she just has to hold on until Juanita is stopped. Inside, Gwen still swears she saw Ethan with Theresa. "I know I haven't said I love you lately," he apologizes and again promises he's not leaving. Gwen agrees verbally, but looks worried, while Theresa chokes up. Pilar pulls her away and again reminds her they must stay protected from Juanita. "She will never find us," Theresa promises.

Yeah right! Juanita has her goon tie up Agent Anderson, who warns she's just making her problems worse. "They couldn't get any worse than they already are," she shrugs. He counters she'll spend her life in jail, but she just slaps him and asks where Pilar is. Even after she threatens to torture him, he tells her to go to hell. She surmises somehow that Pilar is nearby, perhaps even in the same town as them. "I'm really quite good at torture," she says, confident the agent will speak so that she can avenge the deaths of her children and husband. Try as she might, however, her threats and torture don't seem to be loosening him up, so she searches his wallet for pictures of his wife and three kids. "Oh and look, here is your address," she smiles, before asking about Pilar again. "I will make sure the children watch as I kill the puppy first," she threatens, so the agent admits he doesn't know where Pilar is or what her last name is, by design. Juanita throws something, then pulls herself back together. She puts a tracer on his cell phone, so they can get a fix on Pilar's location when she next calls. The agent finally agrees to cooperate for the sake of his family. Juanita can taste success.

Eve is confident Vincent will be a great mom, but Julian is not convinced their son isn't still a murdering whack job. "If you're wrong and he kills again, it will be our fault for not turning him in," he worries. Vincent overhears Julian call him crazy and sings to his baby, "Stick and stones will break their bones and guns and knives will take their lives," but then he admits names do hurt him. He shows the baby Sheridan's pictures and coos about killing her, remembering how she let him fall to his presumed death. Then, Julian suddenly realizes the baby may not be his. "I want absolute proof that child is mine," he insists. Eve tells him not to feel bad about being duped by Vincent's Valerie disguise, but Julian is more concerned with how well Vincent played them all, going so far as to seduce his own father. Yuck! Eve blames Alistair's devilish treatment and promises to spend her life working to make it up to their son. Julian notices Vincent looking at the photo and asks who it is, but Vincent lies that it's, "a list of all the things that I want to do for my son during my lifetime". Eve thinks it's sweet, but Julian still isn't convinced. Vincent excuses himself for a nap, asking the new grandparent to baby sit. "I'm coming for you Aunt Sheridan," he sings to himself as he heads out.

Eve watches Julian with his new son/grandson, noting how ready Julian is to love the child even before confirming it's his. "In another world, Julian would have been a wonderful father to his kids," she says, blaming Alistair for ruining him. She mutters that Julian would never torture someone as Alistair tortured Vincent, turning him into a killer. "Someday, he's going to pay for what he did to Vincent." When Julian jokes about the baby turning into a hellion in a year or so, Eve counters that true hell comes from "the wrong up bringing." Julian sighs there's not much to do now, but Eve says she can protect Vincent now that he knows love. She leaves Julian, claiming she's off to get a DNA kit from the hospital, but she's really off to kill Alistair. Outside his room, she pulls out a knife and says, "Your reign of terror is over, old man. You stole my son when he was born and turned him into a psychopath. For that, you die!"

Sheridan is still nursing a sore jaw from Pretty's punch when Pretty comes back for "round two." Sher tells her to get lost, but Pretty just rails into her for being a fool for letting Fancy live, since they'll never get Luis from her. Sheridan counters that she also saved Luis, but Pretty shrugs that if she can't have him, no one will. Sheridan reminds her of her "no killing" policy and calls Pretty "absolutely nuts", before threatening that she'll kill her before letting her kill Luis. Pretty insists Luis loves her and her (imaginary) child.

Meanwhile, Fancy sets up a candlelit thank you surprise for Sheridan, including her fave cookies and champagne. Luis is impressed, but Fancy frets, "It's not much of a thank you for saving our lives." Luis is sure she'll appreciate the gesture and says now they can tell Sheridan about their engagement. He actually thinks she'll be happy for them! When Fancy goes to call Sheridan up to the main house, Luis stalls her with a kiss. He tries to convince her to get nasty in the Crane living room and she eventually gives in. When she calls Sheridan later, Pretty listens in. Sheridan says she'll head over and then orders Pretty to leave Luis alone before leaving. Luis doesn't miss a beat before telling Fancy to show off her engagement ring. Sheridan feigns happiness and gives them hugs. "I told you Sheridan would take it well," he says, and broken hearted Sheridan smiles, "We can all let bygones be bygones." She tries to excuse herself, so Luis insists she have some champagne. Then Pretty walks in, intercepts the glass and offers an engagement present. Sheridan grabs the present and shakes it suspiciously. "Oh my God, it's ticking! It's a bomb!" she panics, pouring the champagne over the box. Everyone thinks she's crazy, especially after she points to Pretty and yells, "You're trying to kill Luis and Fancy!" When she opens the now not ticking bomb, it's a broken clock. "Kaboom," Luis deadpans. An embarrassed Sheridan gives them her best, apologizes and runs out. "Poor thing, she really does need some help," sighs crazy Pretty, who goes on to suggest therapy, since Sheridan's so stressed and wrapped up in Luis. Pretty then laughs that it's, "an odd situation of all of us" and says she's fine as long as Luis is a good father to their child. Fancy is taken aback by her sister's mature stance. "I am going to be a mother now and I had to grow up eventually," she counters, but Fancy doesn't look like she's buying it.

Back in her cottage, Sheridan kicks herself for falling for Pretty's newest game. "She made me look like such a nut job, when she is the number one nut job on the eastern seaboard," she grumbles, but then Vincent enters with a gun and corrects her, saying, "Number two, maybe. My father thinks I'm the number one nut job around here." Sheridan is shocked to see him alive and he quickly promises to show her what death feels like. She tries to talk her brother down, apologizing for dropping him off the cliff. "Everything turned out all right in the end," she begs, but he's ready to shoot.

 

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