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2nd Week of May 2008 Daily Summaries


All Summaries Written and Copyrighted by SheKnowsLLC
(unless otherwise indicated)

Please LINK to summaries. Do not cut-n-paste them to other sites. Thanks!

May 19, 2008
The New Sheridan Crane

At the manse, Fancy and Luis celebrate their engagement and Luis promises, "nothing will stop us from getting married." They cuddle in bed and Fancy prattles on about planning their future. Luis suggests they focus on planning the wedding first, so she fantasizes about their big day. Luis carries her over the threshold into her room and tries to seduce her. She wonders if they should get back to the guests, but of course, she gives in to her new hubby. Back in the real world, Luis teases Fancy for losing herself to planning, so she tells him about her fantasy. He goes along and the fantasy continues with the couple laughing about Esme's horror at catching the bouquet. Then Fancy gets upset. "Something always goes wrong for us in this town, so why should a ring on my finger mean things should end any different for us," she pouts, but Luis promises her perfection and says he loves her. They make love as she moans about perfection.

Alistair is relieved when a nurse arrives with his food, but instead looks up from his hospital bed to see Eve wielding a knife. "I'm here to do something I should have done decades ago," she announces with tears in her voice. "I'm going to kill you!" Alistair only laughs, teasing that if she wants him dead, she should just become his doctor. Then he says she can't kill him because of the Hippocratic Oath, but she shrugs, "I just think of it as eradicating a deadly disease." He then reminds her everyone in town has tried to kill him once, but no on has succeeded. "I will," she promises, glad Alistair had been stabbed in the back and sent to her hospital/turf, instead of jail where he'd be protected from her. He insists he's done nothing to her "lately" and calls her crazy, which she won't argue, "But at least I had a chance to be normal. That's more than Vincent ever got!" she cries. He asks if she was surprised to learn "freakarama" was alive and coos that he knows everything that happens in Harmony. As he goes on about how sick and confused Vincent is, she can barely contain herself. The tears run as she covers her face, but then Alistair angrily offers he must be the one who turned Vincent into a psycho. "Or maybe it runs in the family she says," she counters and with a scream, she charges him with the knife. He darts out of her way and taunts her failed attack with song. When he goes to open the door, however, she slices his arm. She laughs maniacally as she thinks of stabbing him through the heart, but her next lunge also misses, giving Alistair the upper hand and ultimately the knife. He rants about being "the only true Crane in this half assed town" and insists it would take a "tower of strength" to take him down -- clearly he thinks Eve is no such thing. He goes on and on about being an alpha in the power structure, with beta folks like her doing all his heavy lifting. She quietly reaches for a syringe and stabs him in the leg! He falls back and she grabs the knife. Then she switches up for a gun and says it's time to do her beta task: "Taking out the garbage." He tries to talk her down, wondering how they can work things out. As he offers to set up her and sick Vincent somewhere far away and safe, she starts to lower the gun. He thinks he's getting somewhere, but she just sighs that it's always about money with him, aims the gun, shoots... and misses. "I won't miss again," she promises him.

After Gwen takes a call, she calmly lets Ethan know the driver is outside waiting to take Little E to boarding school. A shocked Ethan is beside himself and reminds her Theresa would never want this. She stays calm and asks why he's "consulting Theresa's ghost" instead of turning to her for support. She refuses to compete with Theresa's ghost, insists she's right and again references that (faux) psychologist's advice. She tells him to make his choice between her and the ghost.

Down the hall, Theresa gets into her Gert-resa costume, all the while venting about her desire to just reveal herself to Ethan. Pilar understands, but reminds her it's too dangerous. Then Little E storms in, upset because Ethan is going back on his promise and letting Gwen send him to boarding school. He begs his mom stop this, but fears she can't do anything as Gert-resa, so insists she should tell the truth and lose the disguise. She reiterates the Juanita situation and Ethan and Gwen walk in to hear her warning that, "We will all be killed." The couple demands an explanation, but Gert-resa just says they misunderstood. She was saying the boarding teachers will be "skilled", so her mother pushes her to get to the real point. Gert-resa reports they were discussing the fact that Theresa wouldn't want her son in boarding school. Pilar then asks Ethan if he's really going to break his promise. Gwen prods him along as he explains she is his wife and they are a team. Pilar guffaws at that, but Gwen keeps her cool. When Gwen says they've agreed to send him off tonight, Little E cries "No" and Pilar tells Ethan, "You're stabbing me in the heart." Then Gert-resa steps in, but Gwen reminds her she's the nanny and sends her away. Little E begs her not to leave, but she walks out. Pilar starts again, but Gwen says time for talk is over and that Pilar has no say. Pilar and Little E continue to beg and argue, but every time they make any headway with Ethan, Gwen gives him looks. He reveals he had mixed feeling about boarding school as a child and is going to trust Gwen's judgment today.

Pilar asks for a moment with Gwen and immediately calls her a bitch. She also threatens that not even sending Little E away is enough to get Theresa out of Ethan's heart. "Unless your dead daughter walks through that door, Little Ethan is going to boarding school," Gwen shrugs. It's a trap! Still believing she saw Theresa in bed with Ethan, Gwen is trying to "smoke her out". Instead, Gert-resa returns with something to tell Ethan "about Theresa and me". Gwen tries to interrupt, but Ethan wants to hear this "outside" opinion. Pilar panics, but Gert-resa's big reveal is that she rifled through Theresa's things in the attic. Gwen accuses her of stealing, so Gert-resa explains she's felt a kinship with Theresa of late, after realizing they are both from poor backgrounds and moved on up. She hopes one day to become a princess like Theresa did and says she was going through her things to feel closer to the dead woman. "I found this letter," she says and asks Ethan to read it. He sees that it's dated the day before Theresa left for Mexico and offers directions for caring for her kids, should she not return. Surprise, surprise -- it actually says no boarding school. Little E hugs Gert-resa in joy, while Gwen insinuates Gert-resa must have written it because it's too convenient. She suggests they compare the writing to the nanny's, but before she can push it, Pilar offers Ethan a personal note she carries from Theresa. The writing is a match, so Ethan tells Little E he's off the hook, while Gwen wonders how Theresa still manages to ruin her life from the grave.

When Ethan and Little E head down to have milkshakes, Pilar asks Gwen if she's satisfied Theresa's dead. Gwen is, though she again insists she saw her. Pilar again says the vision was just a sign of her guilty conscience and Gwen again wonders how she's still losing fights to Theresa and when she will ever be free of her. "Never," Gert-resa promises silently.

Vincent has Sheridan at gunpoint and his aunty struggles to keep her cool. She congratulates him on surviving the fall and notes not many people can pull of returning from the dead. "I've done it. So has Julian, my parents. Must be a family talent," she considers as she gets to her feet and backs away a bit. When she asks where Vincent's been all this time, he snarls he never left and has been watching and waiting for the perfect time for revenge. He rails against her for choosing Spike's life over his when they were hanging from the cliff, but she insists she had no choice. "I had to get my son back," she begs. Seemingly unmoved, he brags he's murdered many, but then he drops to the couch in tears. Sher Sher considers running, but then Vincent apologizes. She sits at his side, so he jumps and points the gun at her. She admits he's scared her and swears she never meant to hurt him on the cliff. After more talk of how she chose Spike's info on Marty over Vincent's life, she says, "A mother will do anything for her child. Can you understand that?" She admits she's had nightmares about choosing Spike over Vincent, but apologizes she would make the same choice again. "I understand, because I'd do anything for my son," Vincent finally says, and then throws Sheridan by saying, "I just gave birth to him."

She slides off the couch, making her way to the kitchen door for tea, but he fires near her head and says, "You're not going anywhere Blondie!" She insists he doesn’t want to see her dead and that she just wanted her son back. "You have everything," he cries. "Why would you need your son when you have the whole world?" Vincent is back in high gear, beyond reason, please or logic, until Sheridan brings it back to his new son. He lowers the gun and starts talking about his baby boy. Sheridan empathizes with him as she moves in and then grabs the gun. The two begin to struggle, but Sheridan loses and Vincent is furious. She says she's trying to help him by keeping him out of jail, but that leads to a tirade from Vincent about him being a Crane. He cries that he deserved the same luxuries she's enjoyed and demands to know why he missed out on them. "Being a Crane is not a ticket to paradise," she insists, but promises to give it all to him if that's what he wants. He doesn't believe her and cries that he's the family joke, "because I'm not a blonde!" He notes all the Crane women are blondes and concludes that's why he was sent away. He then puts on a blonde wig, asking her how it looks. It's sloppy and not quite on, but she nervously plays along. She again apologizes about the cliff, but notes all ended well. He points the gun at her, promises to take care of Marty and reveals, "I'm going to be the new Sheridan Crane." Though still at gunpoint, Sheridan finally loses it, calling him an idiot. "Putting on a wig does not make you a Crane," she snarls, so he suggests maybe killing people does. She lets loose, calling him every name in the book and crying, "If you're going to shoot me, I'm going to say whatever the hell I want!" She taunts him, promising that he won't get away with killing a Crane. When he asks her to turn around, orders her not to make fun of him and then chloroforms her. With her unconscious, he brings in a barrel and stuffs her inside. "Lets see how much you like going over the falls to your death," he sniffs.


May 20, 2008
Already Missing You, Father

Juanita paces her hideout, gun in hand, anxious for Pilar to call Agent Henderson so they can trace the call. She fantasizes about her revenge per the norm until the phone rings. When it does, her henchman recaps that he has a tracer on the phone and Juanita has Henderson take the call, warning she'll kill his family if he gives Pilar any indication that trouble's afoot. Pilar immediately asks for news on Juanita, while Juanita listens in with a smile. Henderson balks at keeping her on the line, not wanting to endanger her, but another threat to his family gets him talking. He feigns poor reception to stall and tells Pilar their lead on Juanita was false. When she goes to hang up, he empathizes in an effort to find out where she is. When he asks straight out, Juanita threatens him with the gun, afraid he's raised suspicion. He says he didn't mean where specifically and was "just making small talk." Juanita slugs him for that one and he groans, making Pilar ask if he's okay. Juanita orders him not to play games and her sidekick says his trace is closing in. Henderson gets back on the line and apologizes that he has just had an ulcer flare. He promises to keep her posted and hangs up. "Something sounded different in his voice," says a spooked Pilar, convinced something is wrong no matter what Gert-resa says.

Agent Henderson hopes the trace didn't work, but Juanita's henchman reports it a success. Juanita can taste her revenge. "What does one wear to a massacre?" she wonders, but then the henchman says the tracking was incomplete and he doesn't know where Pilar is! She tells Henderson he will die for this, but the henchman reminds her they need him for the next attempt. Juanita orders Henderson to call Pilar, say he has news and then hang up, so she'll call back. Still spooked, Pilar doesn't think she should call back. Unfortunately, Gert-resa convinces her to call anyway and Henderson keeps her on long enough to complete the trace. Henderson tells Pilar they've found a lead and she can rest easy, before hanging up, but Pilar's suspicious, wondering why Juanita would flee to Hawaii as Henderson said.

All girled up in a blonde wig, Vincent stuffs unconscious Sheridan into a barrel. As he drives along with her in the back of his van, he sings to himself: "This is the way we dump the blonde… by drowning her in a barrel." When Sheridan comes to, she freaks out, especially after she realizes the barrel is nailed shut, and calls for Vincent. "Vincent's not here," sing songs Vince-idan. "I'm Sheridan, the fabulous Sheridan Crane." Things get worse for Sheridan when the barrel starts spinning, apparently rolling down a hill. In fact, Vince-idan is using all his strength to push her to the falls. The barrel goes in with a splash and he sings, "Die die Sher Sher!" Then he vamps, introducing himself (to no one) as Sheridan and swearing he'll be Luis's lover "again" by tonight. "I am fabu-lous, with glam to spare," s/he swishes, while in the barrel, Sheridan hears the waterfall approach. She loses it when she realizes he's taken her to Niagara Falls, screaming as the barrel drops over, falling into the mist.

Eve waves the gun and whines at Alistair to stop avoiding her bullets and make this murder easier for both of them. He warns she might hit an oxygen tank and cause a dangerous explosion, but she counters she's a great shot. She snorts that she'll never be convicted for killing him and again says she must protect Vincent and his son from Alistair. "This is payback, for ruining Vincent's life," she says and tells him to "take a death like a man." He warns she'll land in prison. She counters her loved ones will approve, but then Julian bursts in and orders her not to do it! She makes her case again and Alistair commends his son for getting a backbone and protecting him. "I didn't come here to save you: I came here to keep Eve from going to prison for killing you," he growls. His voice is softer as he reasons with Eve, begging her not to do it for the sake of her children. When Alistair again commends him and calls Eve a whore, Julian barks for him to shut it, sniffing, "You should have been maggot snack long ago!" Eve begs him to let her get their revenge and recounts Alistair's crimes against his children, but Julian doesn't want her in prison. After he reminds her how Vincent needs her, she finally gives him the gun... and Julian turns it on his father! "I guess I'll die laughing," Alistair taunts and then teases his son about his upside down and smaller "pecker". After he concludes Julian and Eve deserve each other, Eve watches Julian level the gun. "I'm already missing you, Father," he says.

Tabby gets drunk on martimis, hoping it will calm her nerves. She's afraid of the impending doom, since it's not evil controlled by witches. "When we are the victims, it is more than enough to rattle my cage," she admits. The book flashes at her, inciting her to take a deep swig. When Kay enters, the book starts shooting flames. "End of the story, dear" Tabitha explains to her. "Harmony is going to be destroyed, killing every last one of us." Kay asks for more than that and then says they can't die, because they're witches. Tabby shakes her head and says while she and Endora are immortal, getting new bodies every millennium or so, Kay is mortal, albeit with powers. Then she admits that being a witch may not even save her this time. "Humans have stolen so much from nature that nature is going to retaliate and take back everything and more!" she says, foretelling that the ocean is going to take over the world, starting in Harmony. Kay insists they must be able to stop it, especially since her life is so close to perfect. Tabby commends her for her "concern" about the rest of Harmony, so Kay goes on about how well everyone else is doing these days too. Tabitha reveals the book won't let her read it, so Kay suggests they combine their powers. They zap the smoking, flashing book in unison and it is "sufficiently subdued." They cautiously approach and Tabby flips through. Then she pulls back in horror to reveal the destruction will be set off by "a revenge killing of the most hated person in Harmony". She insists they must stop the murder and they begin guessing who is most hated. Kay suggests it's Mr. Zuker at the TV station (aka NBC), but then realizes it's Alistair. Tabby thinks it's not worth finding him, since Alistair won't listen. "He thinks he's immortal," she guffaws. The book flashes and offers a picture of Julian, Alistair and Eve and the gun firing! Then it slams shut and stops the phones from working, so Tabby and Kay run out to help the villain.

Back at the hospital, Alistair laughs at Julian... until Julian points out the bullet hole in his chest. Shocked Al falls to his knees as Julian recounts his sins against folks like Eve, the Lopez-Fitzgeralds, Rachel and Sheridan, not to mention poor Vincent. "Good riddance," Eve says to Alistair and when he begs for her help, she shrugs that it looks fatal. "I gave you life," he begs of Julian. "It's not fair that you should take mine!" he cries and then collapses.

Just as Tabby and Kay close in, the ground begins to shake. Tabby cries that they're too late to overt disaster. The shaking reaches Julian, who marvels at his success, and Pilar and Gert-resa, who have just hung up on Henderson. "If the earthquake doesn't kill us, Juanita will!" Pilar cries. She may be right, because at the same moment, Juanita cheers that she's found Pilar's location. 

May 21, 2008
Don't let Mommy Die!

The earthquake rattles all as Gwen panics in Ethan's arms, remembering the tsunami that followed the last quake. He says they'll be okay and comforts that Gert-resa is likely taking care of the kids. In the midst of the shaking, Gwen agrees, but still says, "After the quake, Gertrude goes!" Then Ethan recalls her earlier rant about firing Gert-resa for a "nanny who knows her place" and doesn't undermine Gwen's motherly decisions. "She's not just the help: She's the children's nanny," Ethan counters, but Gwen fears Gert-resa is trying to turn the kids against her. What more, that negativity makes it that much harder for her and Little E to bond, a difficult task anyway because he knows how she fought with Theresa. Ethan flashes back to the shaky present and tables the topic so they can go check on the kids. Down the hall, Pilar tries to keep Gert-resa from putting herself in danger by running to check on the kids, but then Little E shows up in the doorway. Gert-resa runs for the door, but something falls. She tells Little E to stay in the doorway, but he runs toward her, so she runs to him and a huge bookcase comes down on the pair!

Tabby and Kay wobble around the hospital hallway and worry that Alistair is dead and thus "the beginning of the end for Harmony" has kicked off. Kay suggests they turn back time like Endora once did, but Tabby says even together, they're not as strong as her. She decides to head home to pack up and skip town, but then they run into Sam and Ivy. Kay tells them Alistair has been shot and Tabby points to Al's room. Sam and Ivy go in and see Alistair covered in a white sheet. "Father's dead. Shot through the heart," Julian calls out over the shaking and clattering of the earthquake. Eve confirms he doesn't have a pulse and is "really dead".

Kay tells Tabby they must buy some time, so she tries a very dangerous spell. "The end of our days the book foresees; Our town consumed by angry seas; Though our fate seems sealed, as the clock ticks down; Please give us some time to flee our town."  The witches' hands glow and the shaking ends, but Tabby reminds Kay this is just a delay. "Soon Harmony will be no more," she sighs, so Kay suggests the bad book is just telling them a rumor and calls Tabby an "alarmists". "I have no experience with impending doom," Tabby guffaws. "The barbarians were never a threat to Rome; flea bitten rats where never a threat to Europe; and an asteroid isn't going to hit the earth in 2742." A call from Miguel interrupts them and he tells her something strange. "He heard reports of people seeing fish with legs walking out of the ocean, onto the beach," Kay tells Tabby, who says it's another portent of trouble. Kay thinks it's a sign someone's being hysterical, so she searches the internet for more info, only to learn, "people are seeing statues come alive in the park and they're talking to people." Kay finally realizes a destination wedding would get everyone out of town, but then backtracks and wonders if trouble is really on its way. When Tabby wonders how many more signs Kay needs, a corpse in the hallway sits up and asks for a snack. Kay is completely freaked as he wanders around in his boxers chatting about how he can eat anything he wants now and asks where to get a burger. Kay finally sends him to The Cow Patty and then tells Tabitha she realized that not everyone will leave to go to her wedding, so they must stay and fight to overt disaster.

With the quake over, Sam and Ivy ask Eve and Julian what happened. After the body is hauled away, Sam notes this isn't the first time Alistair's "died," but this time, he's been shot in the heart, quipping, "I didn't really think he had one." Then he picks up the murder weapon and asks Julian and Eve what they know about the death, insinuating one of them did it. A call comes in, so while the chief gives emergency response and relief instructions, Ivy tells the pair to be honest or just say it's self defense. Since everyone wanted Alistair dead anyway, they won't get in too much trouble. They tell her to stay out of it, but without malice or attitude. When Sam returns to demand the same info, Ivy says she's sure they have a good reason, but he too tells her to "be quiet or leave". After he makes a call to find out who the gun is registered to, he warns Eve and Julian it would better to get that answer from them. Julian just suggests Sam focus on the disaster at hand, agreeing to meet him at the station later to answer questions. After Sam gets a call, he gives them one more chance to talk and then announces the gun belongs to TC, who is in New Orleans. "You are prime suspect," he tells Eve, reading her her rights and cuffing her. Julian tells him to wait, but he continues and then insists the evidence will prove her guilt. Julian challenges Sam, asking how many crimes he's actually solved. Ivy jumps to his defense about the crime rate spiraling out of control, insisting, "The department just never had the resources to go up against Alistair." Sam thanks her and starts to lead Eve out by her cuffs. Julian apologizes to Eve, but she is honored to take the rap for killing Alistair. "I love you with all my heart," Julian professes, before telling Sam he stopped Eve from killing Al and then did it himself. "I've never been more proud of you," Ivy says, believing him totally.

Pilar can't believe her daughter survived execution and sharks only to die under a bookcase. She tearfully prays for her and Little E to survive and calls for help as she struggles to lift the bookcase. In the hallway, Gwen is impressed Jane and Jonathan slept through the quake, but snidely wonders why that terrible Gert-resa didn't check on them. He worries she may have been hurt trying to and goes to search for her and Little E. Gwen rolls her eyes and follows. When Ethan finds Pilar, he rushes to lift the bookcase, while Gwen considers the situation. On the one hand, she could be rid of Gert-resa; on the other, she may survive and sue them. She empathizes - barely - that it must hurt, while Ethan catches a glimpse of Gert-resa with her arm over Little E. He hears them breathing, so Pilar calls the staff for help. Or she tries to: The intercom isn't working and 9-1-1 is busy. Desperate to save Gertie and Little E, Ethan uses everything he has and lifts it alone. Gwen fantasizes that a greased up, shirtless Ethan lifts it with no problem, lets her pull Little E out triumphantly and then drops the bookcase back on Gert-resa. In contrast, Pilar's fantasy has Ethan in a shirt as he flips the bookcase off with no trouble. When Gert-resa pops up and reveals herself as Theresa, Ethan calls Gwen "a horrible woman" and Little E kicks her in the shin. Once Ethan learns Little E is his son and Gwen knew all along, he pushes Gwen to the ground and drops the bookcase on her - to cheers.

In reality, Ethan can barely hold the bookcase up, but with one final push, he gets it upright again. He pulls an unconscious Gert-resa off of Little E, impressed that she was willing to sacrifice her life for a child that isn't even hers. The kid is breathing, but Gert-resa isn't. Ethan and Pilar panic, while Gwen thinks about how she'll spend her severance pay since she won't have to pay it now. She then reports 9-1-1 is still busy, so Ethan sends Pilar to look over Little E while he moves Gert-resa to start CPR. When Gwen finally offers her help for Little E, Pilar tells her to pray. Then she begs Ethan to save Gert-resa, who is still disguised. Little E is improving, but Gwen just hopes Ethan doesn't notice the scar he has from donating his liver to Jonathan. She's grossed out watching Ethan give mouth to mouth to Gertie-Gross-Teeth, but touching those lips moves Ethan to recall his recent, drugged lovemaking session with his true love. "What is it?" Gwen asks, snidely wondering if he's reacting to Gertie's breath. He shakes it off and continues, while Gwen realizes she'll never get heroic Gert-resa fired now. "I guess she still could die," she thinks hopefully. She's bored and tired of waiting when Little E comes to and asks where his mom is. Pilar interrupts to cover, but then Little E sees her and cries, "Don't let Mommy die!" Gwen and Ethan immediately demand an explanation.

Juanita recalls the teary moment with Pilar when her best friend apologized that Carlos raped her and she accidentally murdered him. Then in current time, she relishes how close she is to revenge and asks her sidekick how much longer to Pilar. He says he doesn't want to get a speeding ticket and then swears the discarded Agent Henderson won't be a problem. She daydreams about killing Pilar the moment she sees her, then about taking her time to torture her to death and finally, killing her family before her eyes. Her sidekick says, "Whatever makes you happy," but can't help thinking she's crazy. Then he tells her he made a wrong turn, so she orders him to make up time or she'll tie him to the back of the car and drag him the rest of the way. "If Pilar and her loved ones don't die tonight by my hand, I may have to kill you to calm my nerves," she considers with a stretch, making her lackey again regret signing on with a wacko. As they cross into Harmony, she cocks her gun and says, "Sweet revenge is finally at hand."


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