SoapOperaFan.com . . . Passions Tuesday's Summary

Locals begin showing up for the big Luis/Fancy, Miguel/Kay, Paloma/Noah and Gwen/Ethan wedding rehearsal at the church, which has a fantastic view of the harbor, incidentally. The caterers, Vincent and Viki, are disgusted by all the happiness. Dressed as a mature woman in a grey wig, Vincent puts on a faux accent and stirs their deadly mushroom sauce. When Esme shows up, Viki introduces Vincent as "Dolly" the caterer. Esme raves the food will surely be memorable, but after she leaves, Vincent chuckles, "Only those left in Harmony will remember this dinner, because the rest will be dead." That includes his parents and anyone who might take Esme from Viki.

Inside the church, Fancy gushes to Luis about the big day, which gives way to kissing. Sam and Ivy leave them to canoodle, but Sheridan shows up and watches dejectedly. "Look at them," she sighs to herself, comparing the couples' evident joy to her and Luis' not-so-real wedding in Mexico. She quietly wishes them luck, before admitting she can't give up Luis. When Ivy joins Sheridan, she asks, "Where did I go wrong?" But she stops Sher from answering, sighing that she has one child dead and one in the mental hospital. Sheridan reminds her she still has Fancy and Ethan, insisting Pretty's downfall was Alistair's doing, but also Pretty's fault for reveling in hatred instead of asking for help. Ivy reveals she's ordered flowers be delivered anonymously everyday. When Fancy waves her over, she almost manages a smile. "At least one of my daughter's is happy," she says as she goes to join her and Luis. Sheridan wonders if she's any better than Pretty, noting, "It's hard not to get bitter when thwarted love is involved." When Ivy returns, she sighs that she hopes Pretty gets the help she needs. She empathizes with what a scene the breakdown must have been for Sheridan. Sheridan admits it was, especially as it made her think of the stories about Great Grandmother. "She was mad as a hatter," Ivy sighs. When Sheridan responds all Crane women fear the insanity gene, Ivy says she kept the stories away from her daughters. Sheridan wonders if that was the best idea and Ivy can't argue that it was. She does however note, "The Crane women went crazy when someone they loved was taken from them. I'm certainly glad you didn't go mad when you lost Luis."

After Beccs meets Gwen, Ethan and Gertie near the altar, Ethan heads off to drop the garment bags in the changing rooms and Gwen sends Gert-resa on "a very special errand". When her mom asks what she has in store for Gert-resa, Gwen smiles, "She is all taken care of."

Paloma is thrilled to be just a day from marrying Noah, but her mother is too distracted by her fears over Juanita. Paloma begs Pilar to enjoy the special day. Pilar just wants the weddings over and done with, so they can hit the road and be safe. Paloma warns she can't protect them forever, but Pilar is intent on staying alert. When she joins Luis and Fancy, she overhears Ivy as she "entrusts" Luis to take care of "one of my greatest treasures". The two old friend embrace over the twist of fate that has their children tying the knot and Ivy hopes their status as in-laws will help rekindle their friendship. Pilar is "open to that possibility," but not till after the trip. Sam and Ivy are very curious, maybe even suspicious, about how the whole family managed to schedule their vacations together on such short notice. Pilar shrugs that she can't wait to be with the family.

After Gert-resa gives her baby sis a pep talk and a hug over her big day, Paloma empathizes with how hard it must for Gertie to watch Ethan and Gwen. Gert-resa shrugs that she's over it, so Paloma laughs that she's lying. When Gwen walks up to find them in an emotional embrace, she marvels pointedly at their surprising closeness. Then she asks Gert-resa to go get a gift for Ethan that's in the basement. Gert-resa heads straight down and spots the box for Ethan, but then she hears the door shut. When she goes to open it, it's locked. She knocks and calls for help. No one answers and in her desperate search for keys, she accidentally knocks over a stack of boxes. She goes back to knocking on the door, not knowing the boxes have opened the gas line! Soon, she starts coughing and realizes something's wrong. She calls for help as she drops to her knees. Back upstairs, Ethan wonders where Gert-resa is and Gwen tells him she's taking care of something. He hopes she gets back soon, but Gwen is smiling at the thought that she won't.

Julian and Eve are excited for the big day too, but Eve has some news for him and it's weighing on her. Julian has high hopes about what "the best penis man in town" had to say, but before Eve can tell him anything, Esme joins them. She picks up on the tone, so Julian catches her up on his seeing the specialist. Esme gets sidetracked by thinking Julian means a gay man and then suggesting the penis doc is still likely gay, before asking what the doc said about fixing (and re-enlarging!) Julian's penis. He looks horrified as she empathizes over his "great American tragedy". She hopes they find the culprit... Viki overhears and smiles that she'll do anything to anyone who tries to take Esme from her. Esme, however, is not smiling when Julian asks her to leave him to talk with Eve alone. She stutters her assumption that the couple has reunited and fights tears as she cries, "Am I being abandoned again?!" Julian tries to explain, but she gives him the hand and sighs, "The end of a dream... but it was a lovely dream, wasn't it? The sex goddess and the billionaire." She notes how Ginger always loved the professor on Gilligan's Island and then asks Eve to take care of Julian. Eve says Esme's misunderstood, but Julian says the "episode" with his penis has changed his priorities. Esme fights tears as she waxes on about being an independent woman and her new career in catering. As she leaves, she notes the new career may even land her another moneyman. She walks straight in to Viki and "Dolly" and starts barking orders, insisting she's the boss. "Don't dilly dally Dolly," she says, sending the kids to get the rest of the food from the truck. Intent on getting started on her new career, she leans in to try the mushroom sauce.

Left alone, Eve asks Julian what he meant about those new priorities. "All I care about now is love. And the woman I love, and the woman I love has always been you," he says. She's surprised he wants to "rehash" their relationship at this moment and Julian reverts to asking abut the doctor. "There's nothing he can do. The penis can't be turned around," she apologizes. He doesn't blame her, knowing it was Vincent who got her hopped up on pills and then orchestrated the surgical disaster. They fall into a sad embrace, but then Julian jumps back, remembering an erection will kill him. Muttering about dead kittens, nuns and such un-sexual nonsense, he goes on a desperate hunt for ice, just happening to pass Esme. She's intrigued by Julian's odd behavior, but goes back to taking a taste of the sauce. As it gets to her lips, Viki intercepts it. Esme, intent on learning the ropes to being the caterer to the stars, demands to know why she can't taste the sauce. Viki and "Dolly" tell her it's not at the right temperature to be tasted, so she leaves. When Viki frets that they almost killed Aunt Esme, Vincent doesn't respond out loud, but it's clear he wouldn't mind her going down with everyone else. Then Viki asks how she can count on the poison sauce working, so Vincent suggests she try it out on a cat. Viki is horrified that he'd suggest something so repugnant, so Vincent pours some into a Gerber plant and it quickly keels over. With Vincent's prodding, she admits, "You are an evil genius."

Unbeknownst to them, a suspicious Sheridan is watching, trying to figure out what is so odd about that old woman. She figures it out when she hears Viki worry that if everyone doesn't eat the sauce at once, those served first will "start dying and we won't get everyone." Vincent says the filet sauce will be served at the last minute and that no one will start eating until the brides and grooms do. Viki is satisfied, giddy over how much more satisfying mass murder will be than her other murders. Sheridan gasps over what she's stumbled upon and spies Sam. She's about to run to tell him, but then it occurs to her that if the Vicious Vs go through with their plan, Fancy will die too!

A panicked Pilar starts to come undone, so Paloma ask her to cheer up, reminding her that three of her kids are getting hitched. Luis is trying to cheer her up too when Fancy arrives with news that Father Lonigan won't make the rehearsal. Sam steps in and offers his services, promising he already knows the plan. Then he wonders after Julian, who should walk Fancy down the aisle. He's still off searching for ice. When Eve finds him, he won't let her near, for fear he'll get a killer erection. He can't even look at her face without getting excited, so he holds a cup of ice to his groin. Relieved that it works, he desperately asks if there's any chance another doctor could help him. She says they can look, but may have to wait for science to catch up to his predicament. He can't imagine there's a ton of research on correcting his ailment. When Ivy finds them, she's stunned by the ice on his groin, but when he barks at her, she responds that he's needed for the rehearsal. He says he'll follow and sends her off. Eve again apologizes for the bad news. He's ready to accept it, but asks if she can be with a man who cannot make love to her. "Maybe you can't make love to me physically anymore, but intellectually and emotionally, I feel that we're constantly making love. Just the thought of you is electric," she coos. They kiss, until Julian is forced to stave off his fatal erection with a cup of ice down his pants.

When Eve and Julian join the party, they ask Sam for any word of Vincent. The chief wonders if perhaps they have heard from their son and then notes that "with his talent for disguises and the fact that he can appear as either sex, he can be anywhere." After that uplifting chat, everyone sits down except for Luis, Julian and Fancy, who take their places. Luis smiles down the aisle and Paloma and Pilar are touched by the love in his eyes. Pilar also notes that, sitting with Gwen, there is no love in Ethan's eyes. She wishes her daughter could be with him. Throughout Luis and Fancy's run-through, Sheridan battles over whether to turn the V's in and make sure no one eats the poisoned sauce or just make sure only Fancy eats it. "I'd have Luis all to myself and Marty needs his father," she says, calmly deciding to stay quiet.

After the first rehersal is done, Sam says it reminds him of when he and Ivy were "young and that in love". She counters that she's still that much in love. Julian is touched by the scene, while Eve is touched to see how Julian has changed. "Happiness seems to be very popular in Harmony today," Eve smiles. "For some," Julian sighs, but Eve suggest he may find his happy today too. Ethan wonders after Gert-resa, so Gwen sends him to get her bag, reminding him their rehearsal is next. Beccs is impressed with her daughter for getting rid of Theresa - who has just collapsed in the basement!

Vincent and Viki are walking protectively with their perfected sauce, when Esme spots them and asks for that taste. Vincent distracts her by announcing that the bar is open, which sends her running. Vincent spies his parents' body language and tells Viki he can't wait for dinner. "Death will reign supreme in Harmony," he smiles, but Viki just shrugs that she hopes there isn't a lot of "icky" vomiting.

Back at Tabby's, Jua-melia and Hench are getting the bomb ready. He worries Tabby might catch them, but she shrugs that the house will be hers soon enough and with Tabby out doing errands, they have it to themselves for now. When Hench opens the case, she exhales and has one of her usual rants about blowing the Lopez-Fitzgerald's to smithereens. The impatient wacko hurries him, so he warns, "These things can't be rushed. This is how accidents happen." She rolls her eyes in response, spewing, "Don't teach a grandmother how to suck eggs. I know how to build a bomb as well as you do." Then she pushes him aside and brags as she finishes it off herself... but it turns out she's armed it! "Say your prayers," Henchy gasps and when she won't let him run, he drops to his knees. To his relief, Juam-melia disarms the bomb. Then she demands he finish it for the wedding. He finishes it off, adding both a timer mechanism and a remote activation system, in case she can't wait. She can taste her revenge and wants the bomb ready to blow. He worries they should hold off for the final touches until the last minute, for safety reasons, but she counters he be "more concerned with keeping me happy." He activates the alarm, but not the countdown, which means Juanita can set it off with the remote at any moment.

On the Next Passions

After getting another warning, Tabby cries, "Disaster is almost upon us!"

Eve sneaks up behind Julian and injects him with something!

Gwen smiles, "There is no way I'm going to let Theresa stop my recommitment ceremony."

Ethan, Paloma and Pilar find Gert-resa, but she is unconscious. "She can't be dead," Pilar cries.

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